im seething

Tracy - posted on 10/24/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i have just discovered that my 13 year old daughter,s bullies are using facebook as a means to discuss my daughter, and one put up a video that my daughter didnt know was taken and put it on facebook, with her undergoing health probs at the moment and the idea she may be on the autism spectrum, (aspergers/dyspraxia) she dosent see that these so called freinds are encouraging her to do things and then discussing it without her knowledge, she only found out about the video because someone told her. i reported the video incident to school and the head promised that he would speak to the parents and get it removed, tonight i have discovered they have set up a group about her, she knows nothing about this as yet i cant see any discussions im considering joining this group under a false name if possible as i work in the same school and although i have a different surname to my daughter and i dont have my pic on someone might recognise me from my freinds list, im also thinking if they are doing this on facebook where else are they doing it like twitter and such that i have never used. i have made a formal complaint against a student before the 6 week holidays and it has took untill last week to give me a letter to say what action was taken and i feel it was manufactured to shut me up but as so long has passed im prepared to let it lie. i dont know what to do for the best as i think it might go underground so to speak, my main concern is if my daughter is aspergic she may be led into other beliefs ie boys and ending up pregnant because she will believe what she is told, im scared for her, how long before she either retaliates or does something stupid through gullibility

sorry for ranting but im furious that such a placid girl is maligned like she is being, her sister of 11 is able to fight her own battles be it on the net or in person, but 13 year old shows no emotion after 5 minutes

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Tracy - posted on 05/21/2010

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elaine, i hope yor daughter gets the help she needs, especially at this important stage of her life,
although school are aware and doing what they can, its the sneaky bullying thats harder to deal with. only this week i had two girls come and tell me what was going on and asked if i wanted them to keep an eye on things, unfortunately these two girls are two that liked what was going on on facebook and i know they are bad news.
the education psycologist said in their opinion emma was not autistic in any form but that she had the maturity level of an 8 year old.
emmas ilps appear to be good for her at school but not at home, i find it strange that emma has the ability to argue and bully myself and her sister but wont stick up for herself at school. same as she has the ability to keep up or be better than her classmates yet have the maturity of an 8 year old , makes no sense to me

Elaine - posted on 05/21/2010

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my son has aspergers and never experienced bullying but my 15 yr old is experiencing it right now, we have been to school my child cannot attend because of this girl she has three weeks to go till her gcse's are due to be taken, we are hoping our doc will refer her to a unit where she can take them and also carry on studying.

Linda - posted on 10/28/2009

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Hi Tracy
I really hope this stops for you and Emma now. When a school doesn't recognise bullying/individual needs etc they are failing in their duty of care. Hopefully her ILP will mean things improve for her.

Keep in touch and take care. If you need to rant again, we're here.

Linda x

Tracy - posted on 10/27/2009

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hi linda
after sleeping on this problem i decided to join the group under a false name and wait to see what happens, as there are no discussions as yet it could just be classed as just kids having fun, i have however deleted all the kids who go to her school from her and her sisters facebooks and changed their surnames to their middle names. we are back in school on monday after the half term break, so im waiting to see if anyone comments on why has she deleted everyone from her list. she has no idea about this group but if its the only way for me to find out what is going on in school im up for it, as i said in post i dont want it to go where i cant find it, as emma usually forgets to tell me important issues but tells me all the little incidents, if it becomes extreme then it will be copied and sent to school and reported to facebook, thing is i discovered how easy it is to have two or more accounts if you have different email addresses, unfortunately in my haste to get the so called freinds of both girls accounts i forgot to check if the video was still visible, hopefully the search finding nothing means it has been deleted. thanks for the info about the online bullying mentors, will keep that in mind if things carry on or escalate, school has sent me the outline for emmas ilp not that its telling me very much but im waiting to see if things improve, and hopefully we are getting things moving with her health issues. thanks tracy xx

Linda - posted on 10/27/2009

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Tracy if it helps we have online mentors you can speak to - visit www.bulliesout.com

Linda - posted on 10/27/2009

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Tracy this is awful. Have you contacted facebook about this? The group needs to be closed down immediately. Although the head doesn't have the power to close the group down, he does have a responsibility to ensure his students are aware that this type of behaviour will not be tolerated. Ask for a meeting with him and request that everyone involved join together in order to solve the problem. Ask what action will be taken and write down all that is said.

Results may not be instant. Take one step at a time and arrange to meet a few days later for a progress report. Talk to your child every day about what is happening.

If your child continues to be bullied and you are unhappy with the way the school is dealing with it and feel that the school is failing in its duty of care towards your child, you may want to take things further. Ensure that you follow the school’s complaints procedure and keep copies of all correspondence. Check that the school’s anti-bullying procedures are being followed. If the bullying is extremely serious, you may need to involve the police.

Write a letter of complaint to the school – possibly with legal help. Send a copy of the letter to the school governors. If this fails, contact the director of education at your local authority.

I hope this helps and things get better soon.



Linda

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