The Bully Defense

Linda - posted on 10/12/2009

You are so right Jayme. Many young people who are bullied ask us why they always have to be the ones to change and/or move schools. When a school ignores incidents of bullying or they say 'there is no bullying in this school', the message they are sending out to young people is 'carry on bullying as we are going to ignore it'! They are failing both the bully and the bullied and quite possibly creating a negative atmosphere for the whole school environment.

Jayme - posted on 10/07/2009

I am really sorry to hear that your son is going through this. School should not have to be like this for him. I have not yet experienced this with my own children, but have been through it myself. Unfortunately the school was not much help at that time. I think more needs to be done to deal with the person causing the problem than trying to change the victim of the bullying. After all the bully is the one causing the problem and it is not fair for your son to have to be afraid to go to school.

Jayme - posted on 10/07/2009

Quoting Jodi:

The Bully Defense

My 10-year-old is experiencing his first bully at school (who is 4 times bigger than him). He wakes up sick to his stomach and crying every morning, fighting not to go to school. We met with the principal and guidance counselor who hasn't done much, so we've had to teach him self-defense techniques just to give him a little courage. Anyone else experienced this and what suggestions do you have?

Linda - posted on 09/23/2009

Hi Jodi

My son went through a similar thing at the same age. I too had very little support from the school and after a few very disappointing meetings, I wrote to the Head of the school, covering all of the incidents that had happened and dates of previous meetings. I copied this to the school govenors and Local Education Authority. It was only after I had done this, did the Head meet with the parents of the bully and told them what was happening. Thankfully, they spoke to their son and it did stop.

The whole experience took 10 long months and during that time my son was hospitalised as a result of the panic attacks he had on the way to school. I also removed my son from the school on 2 separate occasions for a period of 2 weeks as I was so cross when they wouldn't do anything.

I also looked into sending him to a different school but my son didn't want to change.

Your son has a right to be protected at school and the school have a duty to ensure this happens. Maybe they need to increase the supervision at break/lunch times. Have you seen a copy of their anti bullying policy? If you write to the Head, make it clear that this behaviour is unacceptable and ask him what strategies he is going to introduce to help your son (and others who may be bullied).

I hope the school listen to you and give you and your son the help and support you deserve.



Linda