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Protecting Child from alledged sex offender (biological father)

Holly - posted on 01/11/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Ok lets start from the beginning kinda. I have a 5 month old daughter. I found out that I was pregnant after I had already left the biological father. I found out he was alledgedly a sex offender and obtained an arrest report on the matter. It is a very descriptive arrest report with a statement from this guys wife and step daughter. Some time ago he also admitted to me about something happening with his step daughter (she was 13 yrs old at the time). He was dimissed on the charges because his step daughter plead the fifth. He has not lived around his wife, step daughter and other two children in over 2 years. In fact in a completely different state. This report I have sounds like his "sexual behaviors." Things a 13 year old girl should not know about her step father.
There also was a possibility of him doing this again but with his girlfriends 3 year old this time.
Now he is trying to fight me for visitation of my daughter. He has never supported her or had any kind of visitation with her and is not even on the birth certificate. I just had to do a dna test however, ordered by the court. My daughter has lived with me and my fiance from day one. My fiance has been like a father to her from the very beginning.
It scares me to think of her being around him at all. People keep telling me that since he was not convicted there is nothing I can do. THAT CAN'T BE!!! How can I protect my child!?!? Just because he is good at getting away with things does not mean I should just sit around waiting for him to hurt my daughter or someone elses for that matter. There must be something I can do to protect her!
Any suggestions or help??

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3 Comments

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Karen - posted on 07/12/2012

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Just want to let you know that I am going through something similar, so I really understand how frustrated you must feel. As a mother you will do anything to protect your child.
It is really frustrating that there is no law against grooming or voyeurism or so-called non-sexual touching.
However saying that, wherever there is alleged sexual abuse the family court does nit take that too lightly and by rights should take that into account even recommending supervised visits only and granting you sole custody.
I am going through a custody battle atm over my 12 son and 10 yr old daughter - it's not easy!
Hope and pray everything works out well for you.
Karen.

Julie - posted on 09/17/2010

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I'm sorry to be the pessmisist, but even when a guy is convicted, sometimes they are still awarded shared custody. The system is f***ed

Michelle - posted on 07/21/2010

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Omg Holly that sounds horrible, i have no idea what you can do but surely there must be help out there or others who have the same problem. have you tried asking legal aid for advice or community groups help groups set up for this kind of thing? What are the chances that he will get visitation if you bring up the prior allegations? perhaps you could push for supervised visits if you have to? Talk to as many people as you can, social workers at your local community centre and ask them to recommend lawyers who specialise in family matters. Now i know this is prob not good advice but if i were you in that situation and i had exhausted all other avenues i would pack up and run nothing is worth risking the safety of a child. Even the thought of anything like that happening to my daughter sends chills down my spine, i truely feel for you and i hope you find someone to help.

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