HELP!!!!new to I.V.F and confussed!!!!!

Kellie - posted on 11/13/2011

Hi Rebecca, l know your post is quite old but l just wanted to let you know that my heart felt so heavy and sad reading your last post. Ivf is one of the hardest things l have ever done. lt took me 7 years of pain. l have done 7 cycles of ivf before becoming pregnant with twins.Plus 6 frozen transfers. l carried them to 38 weeks and had a girls 7.3 pounds and a boy 8 pounds. l love every minute of being a mum. Last july l decided l wanted another child. l had a frozen transfer. Which did not work. l then last month did a full cycle. Which also did not work. My other emybro was not good enough to be frozen. l now start my 9th cycle tomorrow. l really hope that you and your husband work things out and both decided to go down the ivf track again. lt is hard but well worth it in the end. X

Rebecca - posted on 08/08/2010

well ladies i should be telling you that we start treatment next month and were soo excited........ instead i cant because the day after we got the news my husband decided that he couldn't handle the stress of the treatment and how i would react to the drug therapy and said he now doesn't want to continue ;( so now after almost 5yrs of beleiving he wanted this as much if not more than i did he has decided to stop all treatment!!!im devastated just how much is hard to explain i feel betrayed by my husband and my body and feel that all hope is lost i no he wont change his mind and even if he did i fear we would not get the funding again because of some of the stupid things his revalation caused me to do ( i took an over dose and slit my wrists) stupid yes but for 5 years we have been planning this and hoping my whole life was geared around it then all of a sudden out of nowhere he does this right b4 we have the chance to realise our dreams.all this has happened in just the last 3 days and i write this bandaged up and in alot of pain mostly emotionally i have to say!!!its so cruel i really cant tell you how i feel because ireally dont no myself.my husband and i are hardly talking and avoiding each other partly i think because we dont no how or what to say and probably because if we do talk im going to say something i regret.
anyway this maybe the end of my jorney but yours is i hope a better road i wish you all the best of luck xxxx

Steph - posted on 07/31/2010

Hi, Im from Australia. Im 29 yrs old.It took me 5 cycles to get my beautiful daughter who is now 8 months old.
My 1st cycle i got pregnant but when i went for my 8 wk scan they couldnt find anything.
I ended up having a blighted ovum and had to have a d&c. I was absolutely devostated.
It then took me over another 4 cycles to pregnant.
It was the most financial and emotional draining thing i have ever done but when i look at my gorgeous daughter, it was all worth it.
We had to do ICSI because my husband has a very low morphology rate and they said we would need a miracle to get pregnant on our own.
It made our marriage that much stronger because it was something that only we know what were going through. People dont understand the rollercoaster you go through.
All i can suggest to you is remain positive and talk everything through with your partner. He will be your no.1 support.

Rebecca - posted on 07/19/2010

hi natalie,
thanks for your message,yes the nhs is funding all 3 cycles for us and because me and my husband haven't had any children in our relationship (he's jess's step dad)she doesn't count in their judgements so were lucky.
we've gone with oxford as our clinic but have addenbrookes as our satalite clinic with all the major stuff at oxford,which we are told is one off the best!!

our daughter does bring gr8 joy to us she's a great kid.thanks again for your help and support illkeep you upto date xxxxxxxx

Natalie - posted on 07/16/2010

Hi Becky

How many times it takes you to get pregnant needs to take into consideration your own personal history. I could tell you that by 35% you would need 3 goes to get a 105% chance of a pregnancy but clearly that would be wrong because it is never a guaruntee.
And people like me at one end of the scale with an 18% chance (so really should have taken 6 goes to be sure) got pregnant first time and some people as you will know never do.

I believe that the NHS don't fund IVF if you already have a child in the family but you will need to ask your GP as I am only going on what I was told as my partner had 2 children already and it seemed to cause some doubt for my GP.

The difference between IVF and ICSI is really how the egg gets fertilised. ICSI the sperm is sucked into a needle and injected into the egg. Whereas I believe straight IVF is where the sperm are put into a petri dish with the egg and there is an element of first past the post.

Losing weight may help your chances at IVF but if you are desperate to get started, consider all the clinics.
You can look on http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ for stats on how successful clinics are but you need to take into consideration each has particular criteria.

I went with Herts and Essex whose results are ever so slightly less good than some of the other local clinics, however they were ever so slightly generous with the BMI and I just kept dieting and exercise to give myself the best chance.

Very best of luck.
I am delighted you have a daughter already, I am sure she must bring you great joy. :-)

Natalie
x

Rebecca - posted on 07/12/2010

Hi everyone,
just had a conversation with my clinic and have an appointment to go to a group I.V.F discussion on the 4th of august to discuss any questions or concerns and go over treatment, then another meeting with my specialist in september with a veiw to start my first cycle around the 14th of that month ;) i cant tell you how im feeling right now its a mix of OMG i cant wait and how am i going to cope and nerves really im just very pleased to have some kind of plan to work to know!i promise to keep you all upto date tho and thank you again for all your words of encouragment and advice they really mean alot and keep me going!im so excited at the thought that by xmas this year i really could be looking forward to a new addition to our family its really hard not to let my mind go into over drive lol but for know ill stay positive and focused and see what happens,keep ur fingers crossed for me please ;D
goodluck and thanks to you all

Becky XXX

Natalie - posted on 05/28/2010

Everybodies chances are dependent on their own circumstances, their own looking after them selves and their own luck. Don't forget statistics only tell you about a population they dont' tell you about you. I was 38 when I got pregnant with my triplets with an 18% chance of a live birth. Then I only got 7 folicles, I only got 6 eggs, I only got 4 fertilised, I got 1 miracle and three babies. Be easy on yourself, its really really hard. We had to pay for our treatment it was really expensive. If you are getting any goes on the NHS for free, very best of luck, think positive and look after yoruself.



Nxxx

Rebecca - posted on 05/28/2010

;D Thankyou Geralyn your right and i now just need to focus on being positive and moving forward im really excited and no that we have a really good chance of it working!!i think im just worried about it all but once we get going my nerves will settle and ill be fine ;) thanks for your kind and encouraging words xxx

Geralyn - posted on 05/27/2010

Becky! That is awesome news! You could actually be pregnant in 2-3 months! I know it can be a rollercoaster, but the way that I look at it is each step is a step closer to having a baby... there may be disappointments along the way, but honestly, your age is a strong factor for a positive outcome. There are many women whose quality of eggs has decreased with age, but that was not your issue. Wishing you much success!!!!

Rebecca - posted on 05/26/2010

ok,
well ive been to my specialist and now have the go ahead for starting ivf in the next 2-3 month ;) just had to have some more blood tests for me and my hubby ( hep b,c and hiv) then more bloods on the 2nd day of my period to check fsh levels then wait for the appointment at our chosen clinic its meant to be the best in the country!!!!!!!its a 2 hour drive from us but it'll be worth it in the end ;D
we've been trying so long i can hardly get my head around the fact that if were lucky and it works, by christmas we could actually be pregnant! I cant tell you all how excited we are to finally be getting somewhere,im trying to stay positive and be realistic as i no that it doesn't always work 1st time but we get 3 funded goes at fresh cycles so hopefully the odds are in our favour????apart from blocked tubes im fit and healthy and so is my husband (and his wee men!) so fingers crossed all goes well.im so nervous everyone keeps telling me how hard it is and that its emotional etc i just wanna get started now!
goodluck to you all and ill keep you posted as soon as we get going xxxx

Rebecca - posted on 04/24/2010

Geralyn im so pleased for you it fills me with such hope that it has worked so well for you and really helps keep me positive for me and simon ;) thanks for ur help its so nice to be able to talk to you al as i really dont no anyone else who has been through ivf or had problems conceiving so although i can talk to friends they can only help support me rather then offer personal experience or answer questions so im eternaly grateful for the support i get from you and so many others!! Goodluck with your pregnancy i hope you enjoy every last secound of it and fingers cossed ill soon be moaning about swollen ankles and sickness too thanks again ill keep you updated as son as i no where we at til then take care and thanks again xxxx

Geralyn - posted on 04/23/2010

Hi Becky! How exciting! I hadn't checked this link in a while. That's such great news that you are going to be moving ahead with IVF. Since I had posted last, last year, we did IVF again in November (with one of the frozen embryos left over from my son's IVF treatment); its a "frozen embryo transfer." We had success and we are expecting a little girl in August. I have to beautiful children now thanks to IVF, a process for which I am very greatful and blessed. No doubt... Definitely keep us updated about your upcoming treatment, and if you have any questions as you go through it, don't hesitate to ask!

Rebecca - posted on 04/23/2010

Kahlia and Dawn thank you for your help,support and advice and my apologies for not replying sooner ive been real busy helping my step daughter and her children through the loss of her partner!!
i received a letter today for my first appointment with my fertility specialist as i now fullfil all the i.v.f criteria (WAHOO) its just over a month away (well spacifically 27-5-10)and we are already soo excited i cant stay still,of couse im a little bit nervous still but more excited about the thought that if all goes well ill be pregnant b4 our next christmas ;) im prepaired as best i can be for the ups and downs and am trying to stay calm and do all the right things ill as ever keep you all informed as much as possible when i no whats happening and thankyou all so much it really is wonderful to have so many like minded individuals to be able to draw support from!!!!

so for now goodluck to all with ur angels xxx
ill keep you posted
Becky xxxxxxx

Kahlia - posted on 04/16/2010

Rebecca that's great news about starting your first IVF cycle in a few months! I also had IVF ICSI a few years ago as my husband and I were told that was our only option due to his sperm not having the required enzyme to break through the outer layer of an egg. We also had to wait to start and in that time I conducted a lot of research into how to increase our chances of success. Here is what I found.
The healthier the eggs and sperm the better your chances having conception, higher grade embryos and a successful pregnancy. So for at least 3 months prior to the egg pick up and conception my husband gave up smoking, drinking and was taking Menevit (a vitamin supplement designed specifically to increase the health of sperm). The life cycle of a sperm is 3 months. For me I just tried to stay as healthy as possible, lots of fresh healthy food and a bit of exercise here and there.
Many studies are showing that acupuncture also increases your chances with IVF. So I found an acupuncturist who specialised in IVF & fertility and had one session the day of the transfer and one session the day after the transfer. The timing with this is important apparently.
I found it helpful to have something else to focus on during the cycle and the 'two week wait' helped to keep my sanity and stress levels in check. All this resulted in us being pregnant with our daughter on the first cycle and first egg transfer. Good luck and I wish you all the best in the coming months!!

Dawn - posted on 04/02/2010

Hi Rebecca been readin your story (for want of a better term!!!), I tried for our son for 7 years and was referred to a specialist 5 years ago I had 2 shots of IUI (which i think is the same as ICIS or smilar) they both failed and I was referred to a Glasgow hospital where i waited on a list for IVF for a year, it is a roller coaster of a ride and my prayers are with you that all goes well, i was so lucky it worked first time!! my son is now 11 months old and everyday I look at him I know I would do it all over again just to have him!! drop a line if you need someone to yell, scream, or cry with!! good luck and easier said than done but try to relax and take each day as it comes.

Rebecca - posted on 03/15/2010

Just wanted to let you all no that i saw my doc today and am finally being put on a 2-3 month waiting list to start our ivf treatment ;) were both sooooo excited i can hardly contain myself lol ill keep you all posted!!
fingers crossed in qa few more months i can tell you all that were pregnant but for know ill keep my fingers crossed for us and all of you!!!
thank you tho to you all you;e been a constant source of support for me through all of this so thank you!!!
ill let you ne a.s.a.p wen i hear about treatment xxxxxx

Joanne - posted on 03/06/2010

I think it depends on your circumstances/problem for how well ivf will work and wot success rate they give u. I completed only one IVF/ICIS treatment and fell pregnant the 1st time, my son is now 6months old. After trying for 3years to have our second baby(my daughter is 6), my husband found that an infection he had just b4 we started trying had caused his sperm count to drop to 5%. I live in Australia and have no private insurance but we had to pay full amount of each procedure up front and were then reinbursed about 60% afterwards through our healthcare system. U need to decide how important this is to u and how much money, time and effort u want to spend on IVF. I only completed it once as i mentioned and it is physically and emotionally draining, my husband and myself both decided we would only do the procedure twice b4 we gave up, but i know of many others who have had countless procedures with no results. U are lucky as i was that u already have a child to love as its even worse going through IVF for your 1st pregnancy. Im sure u will know wots best for your situation...good luck:)!

Michele - posted on 02/19/2010

Do it! It's not easy but it's worth it. : )

Rebecca - posted on 01/30/2010

thankyou kim for your help and support dorry its taken me a little time to reply ive been really busy and just haven't had the time to get on here but i will look at the group and add you asap thank you so much as ive said its a great comfort to here from people who have been successful and congrate to you and ur hubby goodluck with the pregnancy and ill talk to you soon xxxxbecky

Kim - posted on 01/03/2010

Becky, I live in Iowa in the US and I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my first child conceived through IVF. My infertility was related to low sperm count in my husband. We did ICSI and it worked the first time. There are a few people I've heard that have had to try 2 or 3 times. It seems like your uterus is probably healthy but the eggs can't get to the uterus because of the scar tissue in your fallopian tubes. They put the embryo(s) directly into you uterus so that should bypass that problem. The biggest thing that sucks about IVF (besides the long time it takes and sometimes major frustration) is all the injections you have to take to get your ovaries to produce enough eggs to retrieve for IVF.
If you would like to check this out, I belong to a great group of ladies who have been a great source of support and information for me on my journey. http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Infertili... There are member run support groups that are more specific in their contents. My username is Kimiowa1977 so feel free to check it out and add me as a friend if you would like. It would be a great help for you with all your questions and concerns/worries

Rebecca - posted on 12/07/2009

well ladies i got the answer i wanted i got my period saturday morning so guess doc was wrong im soo upset but atleast i can just concerntrate on the future and i.bv.f now i just wish it wasn't like this tho xx

Rebecca - posted on 12/04/2009

ok so im now 1 month and 14 days over due for my period (today) and still no sign of it coming (except being over emotional and getting the day b4 tummy aches and spots?????? i did a secound test a few days after the docs told me to and it was negative and too be honest i really dont think i have the strength to keep doing them i hate waiting in hope that two lines will appear when deep down i no only a big fat negative will slap me in the face!!!! im finding it really hard to stay positive and i no when my period does come its going to be even harder than usual to stay calm and see the bright side of it!people keep telling me that they heard of a friend of a friend with my problems who got pregnant against all the odds and i no their just trying to help but it really makes me feel worse because i don't realy think that their diagnosis could have been so bad ..........do miracles really happen or do docs just make mistakes??im confussed and frustrated either im pregnant and the tests are wrong or im just really late for my period but i need to get some answers soon b4 i go completly MAD! I don't want to go to the docs again and waste his time and they wont do anything until their is a problem or a test says positive so what do i do???im sorry if im going on a little here girls ut im really getting stressed with all of this and holding onto the slight chance that i could be one of the lucky few who have miracle's

thanks for reading and posting tho ;) Beckyxxxx

Rebecca - posted on 11/29/2009

thanks nicole every little bit of advice and support helps honestly.its so hard sometimes as its always at the front of my mind and i sometimes feel like a broken record...! so talking to my husband or friends is hard coz they don't always understands as they don't have the same problems their good and always listen they just dont get why im sooooo frustrated and get down and upset by it!!!
i try to talk to my husband but hes a man and well they dont do emotions ;0 that and he says he never no's what to say to me to make it better or not upset me so its better he doesn't say anything in his eyes which makes it worse coz it feels like he doesn't care altho i no he does!!!
i just can't wait to start the ivf it seems like we've been waiting for ages and something always happens to stop it or gets i the way but heyhoo were in this for the long hall and fingers crossed at the end of it we have a wonderful new addition to our family..

as ever thank you so much to you all your messages of support keep me going ill keep you all informed googluck to you all best wishes for a great xmas ;) becky xxxx

Nicole - posted on 11/29/2009

I felt the same as you do now when we found out that we (my husband and I) would have to go down the fertility treatment route. Everyone around you is pregnant all the ads on the telly seem to be baby related. It just doesn't seem fair. Dont be so down on yourself, There is always hope. Last year my husband and I had a cycle of ICSI and in March this year I gave birth to a beautiful little boy. We attended a private clininc in Southampton as at the time I was 28 and too young to have treatment on the NHS. If you find your not entitled to treatment on the NHS at least talk to your docs about maybe part funding treatment. It varies from area to area. I hope this helps. :@)

Rebecca - posted on 11/26/2009

they said its to early and nothing will show up til im around 5 weeks hun Grrrr i honestly just think that im feeling this way because of over dong things tho and that when i chill out ill be fine,i find it hard to believe that after 3 years of trying and all the 'experts' opinions and findings that i could just fall pregnant without ivf i just wish i new either way so i can get on with it and work towards our goal to conceive ;( ill keep you all posted tho and thank you for your responses its great to have people who undertand what im feeling!!!!

Shannon - posted on 11/25/2009

Why don't they just send you for a scan anyways, y wait?? I will keep my fingers crossed as long as you keep us posted!

Rebecca - posted on 11/25/2009

hey guys thought id update you on how things are going as ive been away on honeymoon ;) and enjoyed a whole week with my new husband ;D which was fab!!!!

well i had a period the week i got back and was ill the whole time being and feeling sick!then i realised i was going to the loo more than usual and i was tired alot so this week 3 wks of feeling like this i decided to talk to my gp who checked me out and did some tests to rule out a virus or bug or urine infection all of which came back clear,and in less than a month ive put on the stone id spent ages loosing ;( she seems to think that despite my history and problems i am pregnant even tho 2 hpt came back negative she says that i would be around 5wks now as my last period was 19-10-09 and i haven't had another one yet!i spoke to my fertility doc too and e says to do another test next week and if its positive to go in straight away for a scan so we no its in the right place!!! my heads all over hte place as my period can sometimes be 28 days or 39 or sometimes longer so i dont want to get my hopes up and beleive that i could be because its hard enough coming to terms with needing ivf already without the dissapointment of thinking and kidding myself i am pregnant!!!
still i guess its good to stay positive isn't it ive read other woman get pregnant wwith 2 blocked tubes and it cant be explained so maybe miracles do happen!!!
keep your fingers crossed for me ladies please ill keep you posted xxx

Shannon - posted on 11/25/2009

and yes there was a wait list for us too, 6 months I beleive and no coverage for the procedure, but if you have a good prescription medical plan, some meds might be covered. Good luck again and "congrats" on the wedding.

Shannon - posted on 11/25/2009

I have been there and had been there for 7 years, so I understand what you are going through.
I am 28, 29 in December & when my husband and I started trying to have a baby with no success and years of trying and nothing, we went to a fertility doc. My fallopian tubes due to an ectopic and no other reasons for what we were told, were too small/narrow for an egg to pass through and had build up of scar tissue which was unexplained and still is.
In December my husband I and did ICSI, started the procedures, back in 2006. I too smoked at that time and did not quit initially during the procedures, too much stress with the meds that I didn't quit until later. I believe they tell you that anyway 'cause smoking in unhealthy.
We produced 16 embryos and had 2 embryos implanted. I was told statistically if you put in 2 embryos you have about a 35% chance of at least one taking, these were the stats that they had on our age group. (in canada). Only 2 were implanted because that is all they would do because of my age( I was 26 at the time). 1st attempted we got pregnant and went into preterm labour at 21.5 weeks, resulting in the passing of our boy/girl twins december 28, 2006. Tried again 5-6 months later and had 2 more implanted and lost the pregnancy at 4 weeks, the day I had a positive pregnancy test. 3rd time, a charm we hoped, as it would have been our last attempt (too emotional with lossess and no success), We had 2 more implanted and at 5-6 weeks I started spotting and went to my clinic for an ultrasound where they found I sac, at least there was one. at our 7 week ultrasound (about that time) we had 2 heartbeats!! I embryo stopped growing and the other one split!! We now have 6 month old healthy identical twin boys!! The chances are very good and after it all, it is amazing to finally have my family!! Good luck and hopefully you continue your journey, it would be nice to hear how things go.

Lisa - posted on 08/20/2009

I was 37 when we started IVF treatments. Two embryos were implanted the first time and it didn't work, but we still had two frozen ones, so we tried again three months later and it worked!!! My baby is one yr old.

Rebecca - posted on 08/03/2009

thanks debbie ill defo try accupuncture just as an added hope lol thanks xxx

Debbie - posted on 08/01/2009

Hi, I was 42 when I had my second son through ivf. It took us 4 tries, 2 fresh cycles and two frozen, luckily for us it worked on the fourth and final try as we couldn't afford any more, NHS would not fund as I was over 35 and already had one child! I also had acupuncture the day before the embies were put back, not sure if this helped but worth a try. Debbie xx Good Luck!

Rebecca - posted on 07/31/2009

ill defo keep you upto date on everything,im just trying to loose the lastr 7ibs so i can start on the treatment oh and im also running around organising my wedding day so that should help lol its in 2 months so with any luck ill be just married and will have just started the i.v.f so who no's by christmas i could be pregnant ;) what a wonderful christmas that would be!!!thanks to you both and ill up date you as soon as i start and keep you both posted through out fingers crossed and take care best of luck to you both xxxx

Beckyxx

Geralyn - posted on 07/30/2009

Caroline, there was a wait list for IVF? Oh my gosh! That must be hard. I know that we were lucky the first time, and as we gear up for future treatments, I must prepare myself for 1) having at least some of the embryos not survive the unfreezing process; and 2) possibly losing the baby or babies after the transfer. It is a very difficult thing to go through because you do have to be prepared for hurdles. But I must say that experiencing two heartbreaking miscarriages and having a d and c (not sure what you call it in England or Scotland, but its were they scrape out your uterus) for one of them prior to our IVF was the absolute worst time of my life. I honestly believe that if it is meant to be, it will happen. Sometimes the timing just has to be right, and then everything will line up... Keep us posted as you approach your treatments. Good luck!

Rebecca - posted on 07/30/2009

HI Caroline,

thankyou for your support and honesty regarding your own experience it really does mean alot that you are so willing to listen and offer kind words to a stranger!!!i pray that some day i can offer someone else the benefit of my own success story until then i will try to act upon the advice and guidence of others!!!

fingers crossed it all works out for the best and again thank you i am truly touched that i have such a great source of comfort and help in this site ill keep you posted!!!xxxxx

Caroline - posted on 07/27/2009

Hi Becky


I know what its like at first. I live in Scotland and was given three shots at it by my local health service. Some parts of scotland was only 1. We decided to tell everyone we knew as i thought it was the hardest thing alive to go through and we knew we would need our friends and family. They were all very supportive.We were on a list for 2 years before we started the treatment. When you get started its alot to take in as the info is quite overwhelming. We were unfortunate that the first lot of ivf didn't work. It was devastating. It will either bring you closer or further apart. My husband was great, i think he was more upset than me as its harder for men as they arnt going through the day to day routine of it all. Every treatment is different so what works for one person wont always work for you. We luckily fell pregnant the second time and have a healthy girl whos 2 now. Hang in there, there is plenty of people to talk to.Also dont let the age thing upset you. I was 32 when i started ivf and had my daughter at 34. Age dosent help but its not the end of it all





Good luck and by all means get in touch


Caroline x

Rebecca - posted on 07/27/2009

thank you so much for your thoughts and experience's its so nice to be able to talk to people who have actually been through i.v.f themselves so thank you its really helped i can't wait to start it and will try to relax abit a bout the whole thing its just so hard when their isn't much advice that is positive so again thankyou very much!!!

and sorry it took a little time to respond i don't get on the internet too much to check my mail but i really appriciate you taking the time to give me some advice Geralyn



thanks and good luck for your future trys Becky xxxx

Geralyn - posted on 07/05/2009

My clinic in CA gave us a 60% chance of success putting one embryo in and 75% chance of success for at least 1 if we put in two. I was definitely older than you, so age shouldn't affect your success that much (35%). We did not have ours covered through health insurance at all - very expensive, but worth every penny and then some. We did our 1st cycle with one embryo and had a healthy baby boy. We were prepared going into it that we may not be successful right away and were prepared to do as many cycles as we needed to. It really isn't that much work, the shots are not fun, but I don't even remember the inconvenience. We're heading for a second attempt at IVF in the next few months. You should first of all relax, take a deep breathe, and go for it!!! You have to not let the stress get to you.... I wish you the best of luck.