43 with a prescholer............OH MY

Elizabeth - posted on 04/19/2009

Wow Laura I know right where your coming from! I have a second daughter that was exactly the same way, and seemed not only to take all my emotional resources but most of our other resources too.

It wasn't until I decided I would never make her happy (no matter how many hoops of fire I jumped through) that things got better.I stopped groveling and investing too much of my time on her. I realized my love for her would never end, but I had to start taking care of everyone else for their sakes, and mine. She realized very quickly I could walk away from her and not look back, and things got better for me, and the other kids too.

She is in her twenties now, and still acts like the world owes her, but I know in my heart she will realize just how much I have done for her when she finally has her own children. Only then will she truly understand, and love me for saving my sanity, and everyone elses in the house.

Try not to blame yourself, or suffer from too much guilt. It is a useless exercise, as there are never any real answers, some people are just born difficult. Your other children will see how tough you can be by ignoring her, and respect you more for it.Tough love is tough, but worth every bit of the pain it causes us!

I wish you luck, and will pray for you....

Laura - posted on 04/19/2009

Thank you Elithabeth , you should be so proud of your son!!!!! It looks like the constant worrying never ends - i am just beginning -my oldest graduates this May - wow . Now its like how will he ever take care of himself if he ever moves out - lol i am already stressing and he has'nt even made plans.....But my biggest problem is having 6 kids and my 15 yr old takes up all of me - she is the hardest and always has been.

I try so hard and it seems the more i do the worse it gets. My other kids can't stand it , it is always turmoil , screaming and crying - unless she gets everything just here way.... I beat myself up trying to fingure out what i did -she should of been a only child - lol

Elizabeth - posted on 04/19/2009

Thank you Kathy I'll relay your blessing to my son, he will appreciate it. :)

Also, Laura I can relate to your quandry about the older teens sucking your energy. I always felt my two younger children got less attention because of the amount of attention I had to give the older ones. It worked out fine though, I just had to realize that I could only do so much, and the difficult ones needed the extra time. Then I made sure to give the others additional time when I could. They appreciated that.

Tammy - posted on 04/19/2009

i am soo lucky in the sleep dept..both of my young ones have always been awesome sleepers..its always aches and pains that wake me up..the older i get the harder it is to sleep..that doesnt seem fair lol..im lucky to sleep 5 straight hours and that usually entails getting up twice in the night to pee lol.i remember how easy it was to ignore that urge when i was young and just go back to sleep!@! its a beautiful journey though and now you all have me scared to death of the teenage yrs .lol.

Laura - posted on 04/19/2009

Oh i so agree , my two oldest 18 and almost 16 are the ones wearing me out -my 4 youngest are a breeze compaired...I am stsrting to feel sorry for the younger ones b/c the teenagers take all you have and wear you out and your to tired for anything... Does'nt seem quit fair......

Kathy - posted on 04/18/2009

I agree! The teenagers are the ones wearing me out faster. I do appreciate the patience that has come with age. I certainly don't sweat the small stuff with this baby like I'm told I did with the first. :-) God bless your son, Elizabeth Tyre, for what he is doing.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/18/2009

I think the Moms with the teens and the toddlers have it the worst! My teens were the ones that made me so tired at this age. lol

I'm an Army Mom, getting ready to send my oldest son to Iraq in July. That will be the biggest challenge to get through in all the years I've been raising my childen. I just hope I can be strong for him when we have to say goodbye to each other. I'm just glad I found this circle of great Moms. One thing that does come through on here (even with all the talk of tiredness) is that we all love our children. Lack of sleep is one of the endless sacrifices we make to get them grown. We will all eventually get enough sleep, and then we will miss them being little. lol

Kathy - posted on 04/18/2009

Hi! I too am a 43 year old mom with a 2-1/2 year old. I also have a 17 year old, a 15 year old, a 14 year old, and a 10 year old. I am BEYOND exhausted. LOL

Elizabeth - posted on 04/18/2009

I am 47 and have a 25 year old heading for grad school and a 6 year old in Kindergarten, as well as a 16-year-old stepdaughter for part of the year. My husband likes to say that we make up for having less energy by having more smarts this time around. But he has to admit that we are both much more tired.

Cheryl - posted on 04/18/2009

Hi. My name is Cheryl. I am in your shoes. I have a 20, 19 and 15 year old. Too my amazement I have a 2 year old and a 14 month old. I am 44 years old. I totally understand how you feel. Adjusting is a good word for organized. Although my 20 and 15 year old are in Texas with their dad, the 19 year old does help when she comes home from college. Anything I can help you with I am here, hope to talk to you soon

Annette - posted on 04/18/2009

I'm 44 and I have a 14, 12, 10 & 4 year old. I'll have a high schooler and a preschooler next year! How weird is that?! I was 29 with the first one; and 39 with the last one; and I can tell the differents! A lot of people I went to school with and some of my friends (as well as my sister who is 40) are grandparents. No me! I got married late (at 27); so my kids are still in school. I find that I'm ALWAYS dragging too these days! I just can't seem to keep up with my 4 year old like I did with my older 3!

Laura - posted on 04/18/2009

Happy sleeping - lol Also Welcome to the site Donna !!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/18/2009

I love this group! I'm a 46 yr old single mom with a 2yr old little boy (plus 4 adult children...23,22,21,20), but I do get to sleep! lol My older kids never slept, and for 5 years I didnt sleep one night through, but my toddler does sleep, and like a log! My Mother said God was kind when he gave me this one, and I agree. He is adorable and an angel. Even though I am slower than I was in my twenties, I appreciate so much more. His smile, laugh, and little hand in mine never fails to make my heart melt. So, all those other people that think we are crazy just dont get it! Have a great one y'all!

Donna - posted on 04/18/2009

so glad to hear you all have same ailments as me ,i thought i was really sick with something doctors couldn,t find. my second daughter is 16 months im 40 and she has nearly killed me i have never been so sick as in last year. putting it down to (advanced maternal age) that is so funny. can u get benefit for that! lol new to this site its gr8 bye donna

Angelita - posted on 04/18/2009

It's nice to know I'm not alone. My son will turn 4 in May and I'll be 45 in October. I'm always tired, my knees and back hurt from lifting, but whenever he smiles or says I love you mommy I melt. He's definitely a blessing and I wouldn't change a thing.

Robynn - posted on 04/18/2009

Quoting Monique:

advanced maternal age, yeah I heard that one too! I had more tests done. My daughter is the only one in the household who doesnt get sick from colds......she is healthy as a horse lol

I gad all those tests done also. They kept telling me that they were seeing extra skin on the back of her neck and that was a sign of down's syndrome. She is fine. And healthier than all of my other babies also. I am so mich more patient and I am a better mother.

Robynn - posted on 04/18/2009

We have a whole group dedicated to this. I am a 46 year old mom with a baby who just turned two. So, Monique, I was older than you are now when I got pregnant. Talk about shock. My children are now 2, 10, 14, 17, 24, 26, and 27. We thought the ten year old was a change of life baby! Our grandchildren are 10 months, 4, 5, 7,7,8, and 12. So all of her neices and nephews, but one, are older than her. It is so good to hear from you ladies. We have a group called MOMS OVER 40 WHO GIVE BIRTH OR ADOPT OR WOULD LIKE TO. 40 is not a strict cut off age or anything. It is just that we are a group of moms who may be retired and on social security when it is time to buy prom gowns. That kind of thinking is scary at times.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2009

We might not have as much energy all the time BUT i have noticed we are more patiant and enjoy every moment and don't take anything or any of them for granted.Everyday is so precious with them , they grow up way to fast ....

Tammy - posted on 04/18/2009

hi gals i am 43 wiyh an 8 yr old and a 4 yr old..my 8 yr old was sooo mellow in his toddler yrs so at 38 i decided to go for 1 more..wow are they ever different..my 4 yr old princess is soooo full of energy..i think it might be Gods plan to give you the easy one first so you think youre good to go with another lol..she makes me want to live my life younger though..im trying harder to live a healthy life to keep up with her...we are soooo blessed to be moms at any age although i am happy i am a mom of "advanced maternal age" lol they are my joy in life for sure.

Angie - posted on 04/17/2009

girl keep on doing what u are doing because u are truly bless to have small ones im a 42 yrs old and my kids are grown and gone and im really missing not hearing that noise in the house. im a grandmother that dont get to seeher grandbaby that much because she lives in northfork so girl enjoy to the highest.

Laura - posted on 04/17/2009

Quoting Lisa:

LOL- SLEEP is all I ever think about! God bless you if you can handle 6 kids! I admire Mom's who can do that. I can barely handle the two I have and I'm all set at that number! It is harder when you are over 40 (they called me advanced maternal age) ha ha. I had to have IVF and I was 43 at the time.

How was it at 43??? I had my last one 38 yrs almost 39, he was born 2 months beforei turned 39. It was a pretty hard pregnancy b/c i've had so many i carried him sooo low , so low it hurt to walk.. How easy i forget hmmmmmm

Monique - posted on 04/17/2009

advanced maternal age, yeah I heard that one too! I had more tests done. My daughter is the only one in the household who doesnt get sick from colds......she is healthy as a horse lol

Laura - posted on 04/17/2009

Yes , what is sleep???? Never heard of it - i actually started dozing on here earlier - lol

Tracy - posted on 04/17/2009

Advanced Maternal Age- lol!!! How politically correct is that!!!! Excellent phrase-will use it at every given opportunity!!! I'm with you, Lisa- Sleep, sleep, sleepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Lisa - posted on 04/17/2009

LOL- SLEEP is all I ever think about! God bless you if you can handle 6 kids! I admire Mom's who can do that. I can barely handle the two I have and I'm all set at that number! It is harder when you are over 40 (they called me advanced maternal age) ha ha. I had to have IVF and I was 43 at the time.

Laura - posted on 04/17/2009

Thank you - i will need luck ! I think god thinks i have done my job , but we will see . I would love it if i could , it would be such a blessing . If not i know it was meant to be and i'll just continue spoiling my little guy - LOL

Tracy - posted on 04/17/2009

I dont think your crazy-im just jealous coz the only thing i think about when i get to bed is sleep!!!! Good luck to you with your next pregnancy. x

Laura - posted on 04/17/2009

Thank you and you have a great weekend also - i will be 42 in a month and i still want one more baby #7 - do you think i am crazy - LOL I think so but i have been trying for a while now and does'nt look good . I never had any problem before , i swear when i turned 40 everyhing went .....

Monique - posted on 04/17/2009

To all over 40 moms have a good weekend and get some rest. I am ectastic to be a part of this community!

Monique - posted on 04/17/2009

Quoting Lisa:

I'm 47 with a 3 year old and a 14 year old! What was I thinking????

lol, Lisa I ask that everytime, I look at the dark circles under my eyes and notice how gravity has pulled things even further south!

Monique - posted on 04/17/2009

lol, I know geriatric, that is how i feel some days! There are some benefits to being an older mom and like you, it is nice to know there are a lot of us out here. Have a good weekend

Tracey - posted on 04/17/2009

So funny ther are so many of us! WhenI had my first at 27, they considered me an 'older' mum!! When I had my 2nd at a couple of weeks before my 38th birthday I felt old, well compared to a lot of the other mums anyway. And when had my 3rd(and definately last) I was 39 years and two days old! and considered positively geriatric!!

My kids seem happy enough though!

Lisa - posted on 04/16/2009

I'm 47 with a 3 year old and a 14 year old! What was I thinking????

Debra - posted on 04/16/2009

I know what you mean, I am a 55 year old Mom with a 13 year old.  But at 43 I had that same 13 year old as a newborn.  We don't have a lot of energy but we love them anyway.  He was my one and only.  Welcome.

Tracy - posted on 04/16/2009

Hi Monique and welcome!! I've got 3 kids aged 18, 8 and 6-and no grandchildren-yet!! The age difference is quite big, isn't it??!! I've got a 10yr gap between 1st and 2nd which I have enjoyed as it was like starting all over again. Is that your little one in the photo? My goodness, she's GORGEOUS!!!!!! Have fun with the group-I love it but it is very addictive!!!! regards

Tracy. xx

Laura - posted on 04/16/2009

True , i noticed i don't have near as much energy as i used to . I would be always on the go , i have 6 children , my two youngest are 6 and 3 .... So i know what you mean!!!!!

Tracey - posted on 04/16/2009

Hi, my first post in here too. I am 41 and have a 14 year old and 3 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. My goodness, I am exhausted this time around. Even more so than when my teen was a tot and I was working 4 nights a week!! We are in it together, lol!!