All my children are grown, my husband is deceased, i'm 55. What do I do now with my life?

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Karen - posted on 02/16/2010

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Well betty, you know we spend all of our life taking care of our kids and our family and when the time comes as it has now in your life, and in mine we feel uncertain about what comes next for us but the way i see it is this....... now its time for us!!!!! Do the things that you've put off doing while raising your kids..... have fun cuz girl we're still young!!!!!!

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CHERYL - posted on 02/16/2010

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Hi there ,Hey Im kinda in the same boat. my husband passed away Dec 27th ,2009. what do I do now.? all my kids are grown to and now they really want me to move up there by them which Im not really sure it will work so Like you My question is what do I do now cheryl

Connie - posted on 02/16/2010

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My husband is deceased.. Has been gone for almost 3 yrs now... I have 2 grown Sons .. one is Marreid & has four lil kids (My Precious Grandkids) 6, 4, 3 ,& 1 .... Three lil girls & a Boy... My other Son is 25 & in a Relationship... I also live with him.. He takes care of me right now.. I have End Stage Renal Disease..(kidney failure). I take dialysis 3 times a week..But i know its hard starting over again.. I was marreid to my husband for 25yrs ....I need to involve myself in something so i can make new friends but i just havent brougth myself to do it..I take Dialysis 3 times a week & i dont drive so its hard for me to get out unless my Son takes me.. He works 6 days a week.. It is a lonely life without your Spouse after been married for so long..I love to make New Friends !!

Joe Ann - posted on 02/16/2010

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I'm 54 and my husband passed in Aug . Wonder the same What now. Do you have grand kids? How old are your kids do they live close?

Sherry - posted on 02/15/2010

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Enjoy it travel,or do volunteer work. Keep in touch with your friends and make new ones.

Darlene - posted on 02/15/2010

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Betty, now its your time to find u . i know it is hard but great new things will come .. and u will find what is best for u .. like me i found it in God and keep my self busy in church , meet new people . all my girls are 5 hours away sometimes its hard but i know thats what god wanted for me cause i always did for veryone else and not for myself . Now i can travel and do things i couldn't before .. i would give anything to have my husband back but , i know we will be together again .. so keep your head up and if u need a freind to talk to add me i'm here

Barbara - posted on 02/15/2010

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Betty- my 80 year old aunt who was widowed 10 years or so ago is my inspiration. She gets up and goes! Stays involved with friends, activities, organizations, travels- even alone, overseas! It is time for you to explore and do the things you never had time for while you were so busy raising your family. We are so busy being the caretakers, nurturers, etc. that when we do have time to ourselves we have often lost touch with who we are. Good friends to talk to, or even a counselor can also be a great support as you adjust to your new life. The life changes you are going through can be very stressful, but take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself- give yourself time. Each day is a blessing. I wish you well.

Nadine - posted on 02/15/2010

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do you enjoy meeting people? would you consider helping other kids become a volunteer there are so many sporting clubs and other assoications who are screaming for helpers of any one willing. I m a stay at home mum and i get involved with all my kids interests but we have a few people who dont have kids helping in our clubs consider it it will keep you very very busy.

Georgia - posted on 02/15/2010

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enjoy your life! walk everyday ! Help others and find some friends and take a trip!

Tina - posted on 02/14/2010

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What are you passionate about? What have you always dreamed of doing? What secret goals did you keep to yourself for years because you never thought you could attain them? Volunteer, give back, pay it forward. Go back to school, take classes, join groups/organizations. There is so much to do! Live life with purpose! Good luck & take care!

Lisa - posted on 02/14/2010

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Hi Betty, I say enjoy take time for youre self see places you have not. don't forget to exercise, like swimming or arobix. if you have grandchildren remember to give them hugs and kisses and tell youre children and grandchildren you love them often. you may need them someday.

Jean - posted on 02/14/2010

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Betty you are just starting a new chapter in your life. Do any of your kids have kids if so do they live near you. I am 50 and divorced 2 of my kids live near me and 2 don't so the ones near me I get to be a big part in my grandaughters lifes. I sew and crochet quite a bit. I found that hobbies are important. And doing things that I would have never been able to do when I was married. Concentrate on you.

Barbara - posted on 02/14/2010

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Iam in the same situation as you are, I have had 3 children , and have only but one left
my husband is also deceased and I understand , I am working doing leather repair and I
am designing childrens clothing.... and started a new website.
I do have grandchildren also, which I talk with on a regular basis.So I try to get out to
events and meet people....

Debi - posted on 02/13/2010

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join big brother/big sister, volunteer at a soup kitchen, travel, join a book club, walk at the local mall, but don't just sit and think about it, you have a whole life ahead of you, smile and live life

Cathy - posted on 02/13/2010

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you do whatever makes you happy, join some group stuff or just take time to understand yourself after being a mom for so long you forget what life is really about because you have become lost. Its time to pamper you and just love life.

Angela - posted on 02/13/2010

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Invest in You! You are still young just because they are gone, doesn't mean you have to retire from life. So find something you love to do, get out there and just do it!

Kathy - posted on 02/13/2010

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It is probaby such a difficult adjustment for you....give yourself some time. You sound like you want to be active out in the community or find some kind of project that interests you. People try to help and they want a QUICK fix because they don't want to see you in pain. BUT do what you need to do to get throug it all and give yourself time. Take it a day at a time and you will slowly begin to try new things.

Ros - posted on 02/12/2010

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Get out there and enjoy your life. Have some me time. You are still young embrace life fully and you will be suprised by what it gives you back.

Heather - posted on 02/12/2010

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enjoy life a day at a time, get out as much as possible with your friends, join groups do voluntery work anything that puts you among people! so sorry you lost your hubby but he wont grudge you any happiness you can find. x

Roxanne - posted on 02/12/2010

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LIVE, CELEBRATE & ENJOY YOU! I'll be 56 in April. Both of my sons are grown (38 & 32) with families of their own. I have been divorced for 30 + years. I agree with the previous posts that you should find something that you enjoy...it is not easy but there are so many wonderful venues to explore. Be open to new experiences and to meeting new people. Remember you don't have to bring them to your home or live with them. Life is what we make it...so go ahead throw your inhibitions to the wind and enjoy being YOU!!

Kathy - posted on 02/12/2010

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Live your life to the fullest! I am 55 and have been unemployed for 4 years now. What I do is help others in need. It is very fulfilling. I am planning on doing some volunteer work for Habitat for Humanity(they help get single moms or families who can't afford much a home, by buying and remodeling existing homes or building new ones from the ground up). I love to help others when I am able. I take an elderly lady to her doctor and dentist appointments and to the store. Until I am able to find employment this is how I will spend my time. And find a church if you do not attend, and build friendships there.

Wanda - posted on 02/12/2010

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Go out there and live that life you have. Join some groups. Jazzercise, Dance lessons, Book clubs, volunteer at a local shelter or hospital. Anything to get out of the house and feel good about yourself while doing it. What a great opportunity to jump in with both feet. You are too young to not share your heart with others.

Fiona - posted on 02/12/2010

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I rather like the foster parent idea. Contact your local agency, or community services if you don't know where to start. Fostering not only helps the children, it brings you into a big community of folks with similar ideals and interests. It can be demanding, but also very rewarding - I speak from experience. Try it out, and good luck! xx Fiona

Carol - posted on 02/11/2010

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I agree with the poster who said, "anything you want to." What were your interests up to now? What do you like? Crafty things, the outdoors? What have you always wanted to try?

Rini - posted on 02/11/2010

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There are many people in need of your assistance around you. All you have to do is find one and help them. You can also do things you have wanted to do but could not get to do it because you were busy attending your husband and children (that's what mothers often did). It's time for your 'me time'. Enjoy it.

Karen - posted on 02/11/2010

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sorry about your husband and empty nest! if you liked raising your kids, look into being a foster parent. there are many kids out there who need help.

June - posted on 02/11/2010

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sweetie...you can do whatever you want...you can take some college courses....you can take a trip someplace you have never been before...you could write a book telling about your life...start a club...

the main thing is that you try to be happy...life is too short to waste it wondering about what to do with it...

[hug]

Miriam - posted on 02/11/2010

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Join a church group and get to know the women. Go to there singles get togather and start meeting new people. Join a yoga class and met more people then take up some hobbies

Gloria - posted on 02/11/2010

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If I were you I would either work, volunteer, or go back to school. But whatever you decide to do just be active for your mind and body's sake.

Terry - posted on 02/11/2010

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This is so true, embrace your hobbies and tap into your creative talents. You have the ability in this time of your life to choose what you want to do. Develop solid friendships, do volunteer work, exercise and have fun doing silly things. I'm trying to find the joy in my life too.

Terry - posted on 02/11/2010

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You have an opportunity to create lots of chapters in your life! Build upon the relationships with your children and if you have grandchildren, them too. You also may find love again, it usually happens when you least expect it. I was 57 when I married again. I went back to school and plan to keep a strong pace until I can't go anymore! I may be an "old hen" but I'm not ready for the soup pot yet!!

[deleted account]

Keep on Going , Fiond some hobby's and some new friends... there is still a whole lot of living for you to do , take some courses , the possibilities are endless, ... I bought a Cricuit , ( look it up online if you do not know what it is , some people don't ) , I also am taking Photography more serious than I ever had... There are free courses online. If all else faiols , tell your Children to have Babies so you will feel in you realm . Lol
Marilyn
Good Luck

Glenda - posted on 02/11/2010

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Cerish your memories,,,, now live for you. What is it that your heart has always desired, that you never got a chance to do?

Diana - posted on 02/11/2010

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go to church or bingo one of my sisters does arts and craft, things go to facebook and play on the farms go to movies and dinner with friends,

Terry - posted on 02/10/2010

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You reach out to other moms who are in similar circumstance and/or who offer loving support. You need this! Even though our kids are all grown, we are still Moms and still feel concern over things in their lives. It never ends.

Patty - posted on 02/10/2010

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You have an opportunity to have a whole new life, you are young enough to do what ever you want, go where you want, live life.

Susan - posted on 02/10/2010

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Take a class, volunteer, do anything your heart desires! This is the time for you to do all the things you wish you could've done when you were too busy.

Tonya - posted on 02/10/2010

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I have two stories. My husband's grandfather took care of his dying wife. When she finally passed in 1990, we all thought he would pass within 6 months. Instead he became involved in his church. He found a friend who had been a 'couples friend" before both of them had lost their respective spouses. In 1999, my husband's grandfather married this friend. They have been together for almost 10 years. They are both still very active in their church and community. She has even had my 15 year old for a sleepover where she shared stories of my child's great-grandmother with pictures of the two women together. Granddad and his new wife are quite happy together without forgetting their former spouses.
My mother-in-law was widowed in 1992. Although she is at least 25 years younger than my husband's grandfather, she looks older. She works for the school distirct in her area as a substitute. Although she works, she has really morned herself almost to death. Her health is bad as is her self-image. She has let her go and has gone no where. Her 6 children attempt to keep her an active and involved Grandparent, but she just won't really take care of herself. I know that we are losing her--and she is too young.

Now these stories are both true. Which one do you want to be?

Denise - posted on 02/10/2010

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Live it to the fullest. It is all about you now. There are some things that you've been longing to do. Maybe you want to take some classes or go on a trip. Live your heart's desire.



God Bless

Emilie - posted on 02/09/2010

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you are still young, just think positive and get out there and enjoy every day as it comes. and when you are bored, just dance ......

Mary - posted on 02/09/2010

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get invold, do not sit on that easy chair wondering what to do next, just get out there and do it, have fun, meet new people, take up ballroom dancing! and work for as long as you can. Enjoy your new life. With each Chapter it is a new begining..

Michelle - posted on 02/09/2010

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Live it. You are still very young. Find something you like to do and look for a local group, or start one, to find like minded people. It can be anything; Bingo, dancing, an Eagles club, sewing club, book club or local bar. It won't be easy but you're worth it.

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