Anyone a Grandma raising their grandkids?

Rhonda - posted on 04/20/2013

Consistency, consistency, consistency.... also, watch out for red dyes in food / food colorings, sweets and always.... try and keep a schedule if possible. Bedtime at same time (weekends with exceptions of course), and praise as much as possible. You will find too, that you will be repeating yourself A LOT . Just hang in there, it's tough, but you can do it ! If you have the courage & fortitude so far... then you'll have even more with lots of fun as well... if you also try to find out what his likes, interests are, and try and be as much a part of that as you can, while you can. I speak from total experience... my son was diagnosed with it, and his son that I'm raising has it, but I never had to have him diagnosed, because not going to put him on medication anyway, (didn't his dad either). As for the school... support it, and the teachers,.... but support your grandson even more. You'll have to be his 'advocate', because most others won't. : ( I finally put my son in homeschool, (before I'd even heard of it, or knew it existed)... in order to give him love, acceptance and that one on one. I did the same thing my grandson after the 1st grade as well. That might not be an alternative for you, but if you don't believe in medicating, except in Extreme cases, (like I do), then you may want to look into that as well. Not so much as a 'Negative' experience, but a 'Positive' one, because you do love him that much, and want him to have as much support as possible. There are support groups out there, and homeschool co-ops that are also a big help. Hope this helps you some, I've been there, done that, and took all the classes. God bless you for doing what's right, and taking on the responsibility when no one else could or would ! ; )

Rhonda - posted on 04/20/2013

Hi Kristi,

I'm also a ''grandmom''... ( love that title ! ) raising my eldest grandson, and was raising the youngest granddaughter as well on two separate occassions/times. I find that at times it's easier, because of experience, more patience, etc. ..... while at other times, it's harder, because of a 'few more' years of experience (and years older), and with 'less' patience sometimes because of it. I also have one middle granddaughter in which the other side of the family (grandfather) is raising, that I have joint custody of, but don't really get to see. I often wonder what it would be like, to be just a 'regular' grandmother. Ever have that feeling too ?

Deborah - posted on 03/12/2013

Yes, we are raising our 13 year old grandson. He is having issues with getting along with kids at school, argues with his teachers and us. He is ADHD. We can't get him to get up in the mornings without a argument. I need help. It has been 27 years since I have had a 13 year old.

Gail - posted on 11/02/2012

I am a great Aunt raising my great neices and nephew, 2 1/2 year old girl since she was 3 months, great nephew 5, since he was 18 months and great neice 13 years old. The oldest wanted to come and live with me and go to school down hear and she is doing great. They all love the farm (funny farm, that is what my father calls it :)).

Cynthia - posted on 10/26/2012

I am a 57 yr old grandma, raising my 2 yr old grandaughter, i have had her since she was 24 hrs old. It was difficult at first, the middle of the night feedings, and she is developmentaly delayed. She was not walking till she was 21 mths old, and is now in speech therapy. They can find nothing wrong with her, she is just slower at the milestones, than the majority of children her age. I have reached out in my comunnity for help, and it has been a growing experience. Talk to other ones in this position, there are alot of us out there. It is worth it.

Catherine - posted on 10/24/2012

Yes, and I have two grandsons 2 and 3 years old (10 months apart).It has been very difficult both financially and emotionally. I also still have a son to raise and grown children I am taking care of because of poor choices in the babies fathers and life. I love my grandbabies but it is very hard to take on the mommy role at my age. I am exhausted emotionally and physically. But where would my grandchildren be if not for me. There is no choice but I sure wisht things were different with my adult children. You can never say you made your bed and you have to lie in it when there are babies involved. So I guess this is my life at 47.

Renee - posted on 08/21/2009

Quoting Kristi:

Anyone a Grandma raising their grandkids?

I'm a grandmom and I am raising 2 of my grandchildren. Anyone else doing this?

I am "Mimi" of 4 with number 5 on the way.  I am helping my daughter with her little girl that is 7 mos. old.  They live in the house with my husband and I.  She will be starting college in Jan. when the baby is 1 yr. old.  It's been a lot of years since I had a baby in my home full time and it has been life changing and fun!!!  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  God has really blessed us through this little child.

Diane Joy - posted on 08/20/2009

I agree... I never had a problem disciplining my sons, I was firm and I stuck to my word. Now, with grandchildren, I try to be firm with them, but those eyes... they look at me with those eyes and I just melt inside. I find myself doing exactly the opposite of what I tried to teach my sons. I end up holding them, kissing them and saying it's ok... What a sucker I am! It's just soooo different with the grandchildren... I admit, they have me wrapped, and my husband is no help, he's worst than I am1

Sheila - posted on 08/19/2009

We sorta are. We have had my husband's grandnephew a majority of the time since he was 11 months old. Most recent, we have had him in our home on a continious basis for one year 9 months. This year he is going into kindergarten and my youngest is graduating from highschool.

Penny - posted on 08/19/2009

I raised my grandgaughter the first three years of her life. her father was there but he didnt do anything. til he met this useless woman and moved out now my grandgaughter is in a foster home for medical neglect they wouldnt give her to me because of the anger my son has for me. I see her but then i have trouble taking her back because she doesnt want to go and she doesnt understand why she has to. and now after 4 years mom wants back in so all you grandmas be careful. her mom could get her befor i do.

Valerie - posted on 08/19/2009

Quoting Kristi:

Anyone a Grandma raising their grandkids?

I'm a grandmom and I am raising 2 of my grandchildren. Anyone else doing this?

i was until my daughter took my grandson and moved out. i havent seen him for a mouth. i took care of him so she could finish the last two years of high school. and that the thanks i get. we leave in the same town only five minuates apart. only time here from when she wants something and not even by phone its on face book in a message. what think of that? she went and moved in with her sixteen year old boyfriend and she 18.

Linda - posted on 08/19/2009

hi my name is linda and i am raising my granddaughter she is five and a handful i am 54 years old and get very tired i work ful time and it is very hard i am on my own as i lost my husband 2 years ago i am just keeping my head above water .i have had sophie since she was 7months old but my son was here at first then he went to prison 21/2 years ago and i have had to cope all on my own

Gina - posted on 08/19/2009

I have been raising my grandaughter since she was about three months old. She is now six and starting first grade next week. Neither of her parents call, visit, send cards or gifts, or communicate with her anymore. It is truly sad for them because she is wonderful.

Wanda - posted on 08/19/2009

Even the Judge ruled you could handle the finicial burden on your own, their are federal guide lines which you could qualify depending on the state you live in. Most state guidelines on food stamps, energy assistance and medicial are posted on the States web sites or you can call your public assistance or welefare office to see if you qualifiy for any of these Federally funded programs. The worst that could happen is they tell you no. You may even qualify for day care assistance. Also the Salvation Army in our area offers a program called Backpacks for Kids which provides start up school supplies for kids. Check your yellow pages for the local foodbank, Wic which is a nutrition program for children under 5 provides basic food such as milk,cheese cereal, peanutbutter, eggs and juice. your Public Health center should be able to direct you to the correct location. Remember your tax dollars pay for these programs and if you qualify for them you should use them.. When we had everyone in our home we qualified for 900 in food stamps and Wic for 2 of the kids and the kids recieved medicaid which covered their health care. Good Luck and let me know what happens

Wanda - posted on 08/19/2009

I helped my son with the children when he and his wife had to move in with us. He has 4 children ages 2-8 at the time. Due to life events three of them were not potty trained.My son had to go to work, his wife has health issues so that left me to do things at school, homework, fix dinner etc. My husband and I felt it was a joy to have them. They keep us busy and active. We do things we normally wouldn't do if we didn't have young children in our lives. People often comment I don't look my age and I nust be younger than I look. The hardest thing for me who tends to spoil my grandkids was finding the balance between discipline and my desire to spoil them. In the end all any child needs is to know they are loved.

Diane Joy - posted on 08/19/2009

I'm a 60 year old grandma with 3 grandchildren ages 4, 7 and 17. My son is a single dad. Although I am not raising them, I feel as if I am.. They live 1.5 miles from me and they think they live here!!! I see or hear from them EVERYDAY!!! Not really complaining because I love them unconditionally and that I guess is the best part.. They truly give me the unconditional love that I crave sometimes. And then there are the days that they come into this house like a tornado... destroying everything in it's path from the basement on up.. and then they leave!!!! Before I can clean up their mess, they are back again. When I complain about the constant mess, my oldest granddaughter said to me "oh grandma, you are the only one that sees a mess." I guess that's my answer... can't expect them to pick up behind themselves because they don't SEE it. Or, that could be her lame excuse for not helping... what's a grandma to do? :-)

Tammi - posted on 08/18/2009

yes we adopted my step sons daughter 4 1/2 years ago IVe been taking care of her since she was a year old .Shes 8 now its gotten alot better but in January we found out the parents are still together and they now have a 3 year old little girl. They came to see my little one, at first she was really bitter at me.We had to tell her she had to come live with us because she had no where else to go. She hasnt seen her mother since she was 11 1/2 months and she didnt see her father in 4 years.Its tough but all you can do is love them answer there questions honestly and nicely as possible and be there for them and it should work out . My other kids are 28 stepson (her dad) 27, 24,and 18 . I sure was to the point were all I wanted to do was have some grandkids over a couple times amonth to do fun grandma stuff etc.etc. I just hope I can show her enough love and dear god not be so....so.... tired HA !!HA !!!

Janet - posted on 08/17/2009

I wish there was something I could tell you that would help. I do not understand the judge not letting you get some kind of assistance to help raise your grandchildren.

Even foster families get gov. assistance. It does seem like if your tring to help yourself you get no help, but if you don't care and r lazy you can get all the help you want. What a messed up world we live in. God bless you and your family.

Janet - posted on 08/17/2009

By now i'm sure you are suprised how many grandparents are raising there

grandchildren. I have been taking care of my oldest grandchild since she was

2 years old. She is now 10 years old and I'm 50 and still working. It does get difficult at times me being the only adult with one income. But I love her as tho she was my own. Time has passed so fast, I know it will not be long before she grown up. Good luck to you Janet

Hyacinth - posted on 08/16/2009

I remember saying not me! well, it's going to be me. My grandson is 11 years old and his parents are divorced. I've watched him go from parent to parent...now I need to step in for his sake. I GOSH WHAT AM I THINKING!!! my children are 33, 25 and 21. The 21 yr old is still here. WHEN DO THEY LEAVE????

Lenora - posted on 08/16/2009

I'm going to be 50 week after next and my husband and I have been raising our godson who is my niece's son since he was 10 months old, he just turned 3 in July and he really brightens our days but it is a lot harder now than it was when I raised my son at a much younger age.

Kristi - posted on 08/16/2009

My son and his exwife went to jail about 3 years ago. The girls' mom got out 2 1/2 years ago, but has never been stable even though she has since remarried. We've been back to court a couple of times and got final custody. Of course, she can always come back and try again to prove she is stable. At any rate, she lives about 2 1/2 hours away and is not allowed overnight visits. We do take the girls to see their dad in jail when we can. We do not have any family living close by, so we are on our own. My husband is working 3 jobs and I have a fulltime job to get by. We do this because the judge made a point in court that we are able to provide without governmental assistance. But it is also without any assistance from the parents. We love the girls dearly, but times are hard right now. The 6 yr old will be in first grade this year, but daycare costs for the 3 yr old is eating us up. It is hard because we cannot afford babysitters so we don't have any alone time. I was just wondering if there are any good suggestions on how to cope? The 6 yr old does go to counseling right now to help her with her anxiety. We love the them very dearly and would do it all over again if we needed to. Any ideas?

Barbara - posted on 08/16/2009

yes i am raiising 17 yr old grandson and 14 yr daughter

Sandy - posted on 08/16/2009

I have raised my 5 year grandson since he was 2. He is so excited to start school this year. It has been very difficult. But he is the my sunshine!

Sandra - posted on 08/16/2009

Yes, I am a grandmother helping to raise 3 grandchiden. My ex-daughter-in-law left 6 years ago. Leaving my son with a 4 year old daughter, 2 year old son and a 3 month old son. Needless to say they moved in with myself and my husband. My son and the older two now live next door in a mobile home and the baby has never left. As far as he is concerned this is his home and I am Mama. I keep up with all the school lessons of all the children and they travel between their house and mine throughout the day. So far this has worked out well for us, although my son doesn't have much time for a social life outside of his children.

Gloria - posted on 08/15/2009

i am a Grandma and i am helping raise my grandson we lost my daughter-in-law at the age of 25 she left a 9month old baby my son has been having a very hard time the baby is now 5yrs old and my husband and i have had with us more than he is with his Dad We love our son very much but he still is having a hard time, I know he loves his son but he just seems to leave him with us which at times i know is the best for our grandson.