Are moms allowed to let their children see them cry?

Kimberly - posted on 05/09/2010

I totally disagree. I have a 20-year-old and a 3-year-old. With my first son, I never wanted him to see me cry for the reason you stated. I believe that gave him a false sense of reality. He has some expectations of me like I am supermom, but that is how I presented it to him. With my little one, I don't cry and sob all the time, but if something bothers me to the point of tears, I will be authentic and let me true emotions be know at that time. He will lovingly comfort me and say something sweet and then ask me to please stop crying. I try to wrap it up at that point, and if the tears are still flowing. I go to the bathroom until I can regain composure. I think it is important to be as honest as possible with them, boys or girls. I made a lot of mistakes with my oldest in that regard and it creates an under current of distrust and hurt, even when that is what you were trying to protect them from. Happy Mother's Day. Love, your sister and fellow mom.

Mom - posted on 05/08/2010

I would like to thank all the moms who have responded and helped me with this issue. Your comments were truly helpful!! Thank you so very much!!

Kathy - posted on 05/08/2010

If our children do not see that we are human, that we have emotions, that we have struggles, we cry, we argue, but that we learn to resolve the issues, get past it and move on, then we are setting them up for failure as adults. Their example of how life is and how to deal with it comes from us. If our children think everything was a bed of roses, or that we were so strong that nothing ever phased or bothered us, they are never going to be able to attain those false heights, and will feel like failures when they too go through struggles and hard times and can't 'measure up'.

Shannon - posted on 05/08/2010

yes i do, my son has bipolor and so does my husband so iam the one who has to stay incontrol but that is not good i am learning that i need to show my kids that i am human and that my feeling get hurt and yes they should see you cry, my frist daughter never saw mw show anything except being in control inturn she never showed emtions and started cutting, we need to let our kids know that mommys feeling do get hurt, that we get scared and sad and that we do not always need to be incontrol, i am still working on it but it shows are kids that it is ok to feel things

Leslie - posted on 05/07/2010

Your kids need to see you modeling how to handle all kinds of feelings and crying is one way to handle some feelings. They shouldn't see hysteria or abnormally long bouts of crying, but they need to understand that you're a person with feelings just like they are. Also, if they never see you cry they may grow up thinking their own need to cry is unacceptable.

Jan - posted on 05/07/2010

It is perfectly fine to let your kids see you cry. Kids need to know that showing their feelings is ok. My kids were the first to grab me the Kleenex box during Hallmark commercials.

Georgie - posted on 05/07/2010

My children have seen me cry. I think the important thing for me is that I explain to them WHY I am crying whenever they see it. Of course my daughters are 15 and 17 so they can understand the discussion. I don't want them worrying and wondering. Luckily it doesn't happen often (unless you count the movies I get teary-eyed over. LOL) So basically I think it depends on the age and maturity of your child(ren) of how you handle it.

Nancy - posted on 05/07/2010

I think so. I only remember seeing my own mother cry once. I did not think badly of her. I do not cry myself often, but the kids need the see that I am human with feelings too. So over all unless a Mom is crying all the time (see a doctor) it is ok