are there any mom's out there that can help with ideas that helped them cope with premenopause?

Cheryl-anne - posted on 03/09/2010 ( 40 moms have responded )

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single mom ,daughter going through teenage phase and mom just starting premenopause,need help with suggesting's on getting through this stage of my life .

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Rhonda - posted on 07/20/2011

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I thought it was just me. My daughter is 14, she'll be 15 in August. Menopause in a lot of ways emotionally, took me back to that pubescent time. For me, I feel like I'm more thoughtful of her scattered-emotions because I'm constantly trying to manage my own. I decided to just be honest and open with my kid about my struggles and, in turn, she did the same. We don't agree all the time, she still gets mad, but I think we both put more care in respecting each other's feelings. I also encourage her to take "cry breaks". The body must purge, so taking time out to address your feelings are normal and healthy. And Estroven is a great, natural method to control the other symptoms (hot flashes, etc.)

Rhonda - posted on 07/20/2011

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I thought it was just me. My daughter is 14, she'll be 15 in August. Menopause in a lot of ways emotionally, took me back to that pubescent time. For me, I feel like I'm more thoughtful of her scattered-emotions because I'm constantly trying to manage my own. I decided to just be honest and open with my kid about my struggles and, in turn, she did the same. We don't agree all the time, she still gets mad, but I think we both put more care in respecting each other's feelings. I also encourage her to take "cry breaks". The body must purge, so taking time out to address your feelings are normal and healthy. And Estroven is a great, natural method to control the other symptoms (hot flashes, etc.)

Lou - posted on 04/05/2010

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I never thought it would happen! Menopause, the doctors has just informed me and given no guidelines. It's basically see what happens?
7kg weight gain, my breast are huge and painful, hot flushes, I'm tired, emotional and seem to suffer panic attacks. Hubby offers little support and my 8 year old tells everyone "mums having hot flushes again".
Where do I start to find out more about this 'menopause'.
I also would like to know if there are any good doctors in Perth that understand women better?

Lisa - posted on 04/04/2010

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I've been doing a lot of research and experimentation with nutrition and have learned that diet has so much more to do with our attitude and how we feel and think than we reallize and this includes children. That saying, "garbage in, garbage out" is very true physically and spiritually speaking. What is your diet like (and your child's)? You mentioned that your eating habits have changed.
You can visit our blog www.WereNotJustCooking.blogspot.com. We started Not Just Cooking because there's such a need out there for understanding how our bodies work (how God created us with an immune system that is designed to heal our bodies when taken care of properly.) and what our bodies need and require to function at high capacity. Most of us these days have weakened and compromisd immune systems, mainly because of diet and stress. So with that said, I believe menopause and cramps during periods are due to a compromised immune system that is out of balance, for the most part.
I hope to hear back from you.
Lisa

Mary - posted on 04/04/2010

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I take citalopram too and black cohash worked for me during the early stages. I also took blood pressure pills and it didn't effect me either.

Jeanne - posted on 03/27/2010

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I am 52. I went through menopause, I just really didn't have any symptoms. One day I woke up and realized I hadn't had a period in over a year, since I was 48, my next thought was, well glad that's over. I know that isn't fair, if it makes anybody feel better, it's probably the only good luck, I've ever had.

Connie - posted on 03/26/2010

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Whoever is going through premenopause, learn to live with hot flashes (cuts down on cancer if done without horomones). Anti-Anxiey medicaton. That was my recipe. CountryNana

Donna - posted on 03/26/2010

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RemiFem which is over the counter has helped me tremendously!!! No more hot flashes!!! No night sweats, but when I don't take it they come back! I LOVE THE PRODUCT! Go to your local pharmacy and buy some! It really works and I'm thankful that someone on facebook turned me onto it!

Karen - posted on 03/25/2010

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I work for a group of OB/Gyn's and have been with this group for 10 years. Obviously this issue comes up ALOT! I myself, am in the peri-menopausal stage of my life, which if you were not aware, can start up to 10 years before ACTUAL menopause. True menopause is defined as "one year with no menses." anything short of that is still peri-menopause.

The first step, in my opinion is to find a good Gynecologist.....talk to your friends and family. Then, before your appointment, write down all of the symptoms that you have noticed and rate them from what is bothering you the the most to the least. This will help the MD determine what the best treatment for you will be.

Symptoms include:
difficulty sleeping: both in falling asleep and waking frequently through the night
hot flashes: frequency, interrupting sleep, are they drenching, or just uncomfortable
forgetfulness
moodiness: anger, crying, euphoria, short tempered
skin changes: lack of moisture, lack of elasticity, age spots
vaginal changes: painful intercourse, vaginal dryness, discomfort with urination

all of these can be changes that you will notice in the menopausal/peri-menopausal stage.

The more direct that you can be with what your issues are and what bothers you most, the more the MD will be able to treat you correctly to eliminate as many of the symptoms as possible.

THERE IS LIFE AFTER MENOPAUSE/PERI-MENOPAUSE!!! :)

If I can answer any questions, please feel free to send me a msg.

Merijene - posted on 03/25/2010

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hi...you're not alone! i started having the symptoms at 40 and for 2 years, its been a challenge. i just kept myself busy. although i'm a doctor and i understand that its all because of hormones, nobody can help me except myself and a lot of prayers. several of my friends are like me, we talk about it and gives me comfort that i am not alone...good luck!

Denise - posted on 03/25/2010

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I went through the teenage years with my dauhter and believe me its not easy. Get
your self involved with something a club, pottery do something for you. As far as your
daughter is concerned, she needs to get a grip and you must be strong and tough. Don't let her get the best of you

Sonja - posted on 03/24/2010

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How old are you? I went through a Hysterectomy @ age 47. I thought that I might go through pre-menopause. But I guess not. I had my uterus taken out because of irregular bleedings. My uterus was 2 1/2 lbs at the time of Surgery.

Jeanne - posted on 03/24/2010

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I am not sure what you can do about menopause symptoms, but Midol works great for teens, and it is only a slight change from the last time they were at an unreasonable stage and had "time out", take this, and go to your room we will discuss this in 10 minutes. I found that worked wonders!

[deleted account]

Trust in God has helped me so much - and prayer. Pace yourself, don't be hard on yourself. Exercise as much as you can. Be gentle with yourself and your daughter.Take one day at a time. Spend time with her and do relaxing things together- like a long walk. Discuss a recipe together and try something new. Become excited about the little things in life!

Tammy - posted on 03/15/2010

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Wow !! I know what you mean sweetie. On effexor and then some nothing seems to work...... Also been on hormone replacement wow... it never ends, but you know what ?? I find a little happieness in a facial or a day at the spa !! save a little get alot. Go out with the girls , thats huge. I love my friends and sometimes hanging out with them makes it all ok, really you should try it !! be 17 for a day.

NADINE - posted on 03/14/2010

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We are always looking for some kind of medication to fix our woes. Meditation, Yoga and changing eating habits will help us. get through My grandmother didn't take medication to get through it. Holistic medications are okay but they too have side effects. Also, check to make sure that your thyroid is healthy because some of the mood swings,night sweats are the same.

Angie - posted on 03/14/2010

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Hi

I went through this at the age of 38 after having a hysterectomy. My symptoms were nightmares, sweats, panic attacks, moodiness, lots of crying. I got through it by talking to a counsellor, taking HRT which I know a lot of people don't like, but it worked for me, no side effects whatsoever, and it kept parts of me very young!! but after 10 years, I had to come off it and went onto Black Cohosh from the health food shop, I also took Sage which after a 2 week period stopped the night sweats, black cohosh helped with the mood swings etc. I know it won't work for everyone, but it certainly helped me, never give up trying. I am now 51 years old and (fortunately) no longer have any symptons. Good luck.

Terri - posted on 03/13/2010

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Ladies,
Estroven from Walmart is working for my symptoms. My Dr suggested it and I am in my 3rd week. It is derived from Soy, a natural. I can feel good about that.

Kudirat - posted on 03/13/2010

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Talk to your child as honestly as possible. They know all these things. They google, they yahoo, so, they know what is going on. It is well.

Karen Voight - posted on 03/12/2010

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I have just started taking a product new on the market. It has really helped me with the sweats and my eating habits. I am a freak when it comes to sweets and caffiene. Since taking this product I have had no sugar craving and have cut back on my caffiene. It also had a natural mood enhancement. I also have lots of energy throughout the day. I feel great!!

Carolyn - posted on 03/12/2010

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Honey I know it happened with my 22 years old daughter. When I was trying to help my daughter the whole community was aganist me.tough love is what u need like a girl home and counseling add me as your friend. And I will tell u about my teenage daughter getting out of control. She put me through a test!!!!

Linsey - posted on 03/12/2010

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Im just wondering if i can take natural remedies for the menopause as im on antidepressants called Citalopram.. Can anyone help me out? x

Donna - posted on 03/11/2010

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There are hormones you can take. Natural ones or pharmaceutical.Yoga or deep relaxation exercises are helpful.Even just getting out for a long walk really helped me. I went through the same thing you are going through. It really helps if you have a close friend to vent to.

Lisa - posted on 03/11/2010

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I too am dealing with the same thing. Peppermints work wonderful for the hot flashes. Eating more vegies and protein will help with the mood swings. You can eat nuts for the protein instead of alot of meat. And alot of hot baths in the evenings will help with sleeping. I tell my teenagers not to bother me for 30 min. while in the tub. They should be able to care for themselves for that long!

Andrea - posted on 03/11/2010

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Well I have worked with The Department of Juvenile Justice, Department of Social Services, I am a Foster Parent of 4 years to high-risk teens, worked in a discipline school, high management group homes and am substituting in some of the most high risk school districts in Charleston County, SC.

The behavior examples that I have given are Tooth Fairy examples compared to the ones that I have had the privilege to de-escalate. The most important thing to remember is that "charges" will only make a deeper impression on a child, as to what not to do. After all, the behavior is only secondary. It is the choices that our children make that we want them to change. Once they begin to make appropriate choices based on our rules and clear demands, then the behaviors will take care of it self. If we say one thing to them and consistently do another, they will follow our example and fail in everything that they do.
Drea

NADINE - posted on 03/11/2010

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You know I had children at 18 years old. I must tell you this my children have never stomp, slammed a door, or back talk me. Yes, children have opinions and I did allow mine to express them. However, stomping, slamming door is reason enough to get me charge. Lmbo.

Cheryl-anne - posted on 03/11/2010

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Thank-you for that word's of wisdom and helpful info ,yes i agree that we as parent's say what you mean and mean what we say motto goes a long way and hopeful one day our children will thank us and know that we have always had there best interest at heart .

Andrea - posted on 03/11/2010

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HI,

When we get older we become complacent. Its normal. However we must not let the feeling of work done, over take us when we still have teens. So, with that said; here is your first lesson.



1. When your teen begins to make statements such as "why can't I...."; "but you said".....;", "you promised....";you always say....."; and things of this nature.



Never, ever, give an explanation! Never lower your standards! Never hand over your authority as a parent to your child! Never answer to his or her pitiful attempts to force you into submitting to their tactics of reasoning!



A parent never needs to explain to a child why mom or dad will not allow them to do what they want to do, instead of what a parent knows they need to do to be safe, healthy, secure and successful.



Get post cards and write these words on them. Memorize them, and use them whenever these situations occur.



REGARDLESS

NEVER THE LESS

BE THAT AS IT MAY



FOR AN EXAMPLE:

You agreed (not promised, never promise to do anything) to allow your teen to go to the school dance or to the movies with friends, or what ever. The Teacher calls and says your child was caught cheating, cutting class, fighting, or whatever.



You confront the child and the child explains, denies, apologizes, whatever.



(There should ALWAYS BE A CONSEQUENCE. NEVER CHANGE THE CONSEQUENCE BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD, GUILTY OR WHATEVER YOUR FEELINGS ARE)

You confront the child and the child explains, denies, apologizes, whatever.



Your response should be, because you did .......the consequence is no school dance, movie or whatever the consequence is.



( A consequence should never be something that you want to afford your child for the benefit of education, spirituality, family outings, or things of that nature. Why? Because after all, all children want freedom away from parents, family, school and church, unless they are really sensitive, caring, conscientious individuals and care about the feelings of their parents.



The child will say something like:



Child - "but you promised"!

Parent - Regardless of that our rules are: Never cheat, fight, or whatever the child did. This is the consequence for your actions.



Child - "You always let me go to the school dance"!



Parent - "Be that at it may, you made your choice when you made the wrong choice in school".



Child - "I hate you"!



Parent - Never the less, our rule is, never cut class. Next time make the right choices".



Child - "Dad will let me go"!



Parent - Be that as it may, Dad and I made the rules together. The rule is never fight in school. Next time make better choices.



**The child will probably stomp of to his or her room, slam the door and scream "regardless, never the less, be that as it may. I hate it when you say that!



Then you can relax make sure the other parent is on the same page before the child gets to him and wait for round two. This conversation could go on longer, but hold your ground. Children are experts at arguing and wearing parents down. With a little training you can get yourself BACK IN CONTROL of your teen. Teens have had years of training their parents on how to give in and let them be the parent. This is lesson #1 for getting you BACK IN CONTROL.

Drea

Cheryl-anne - posted on 03/11/2010

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Thank-you to those ladies that responded to my question as I feel much better to know that am going to be o.k ,the thought of going crazy did cross my mind and the whole change has me scared alittle.Thank-you again and lets stay in touch.Cheryl-Aguilar

NADINE - posted on 03/11/2010

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that is a great book and it does make you really do some realty checks. As women we are nurturing be nature. when we begin to go into menopause we have a chemical change in our brains. You may feel as if you are losing your mind. People may see an entirely different person than they are accustom to. You are about to get your grown women phase on. You are going to start looking at yourself under microscope and make some decision regarding who you are. It is scary, but breathe and take each day step by step. You teenager is beginning to go into her preparedness for womanhood. Be patient. She feels like you do.

Rhonda - posted on 03/11/2010

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I am also in the stage of menopause and i know im hard to live with. i have the mood swings and hot flashes and anything else that goes with it. my main problem is that i dont want my husband to touch me in anyway. is this a part of menopause or am i just being crazy? any advise.

Bert - posted on 03/11/2010

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I am also in the throws of menopause. I find using whole food supplements very helpful. I use Shaklee supplements and they make a menopause balance blend that is especially helpful. I don't like taking drugs so this is a good alternative. I also take their Gentle Sleep Complex which helps with the sleeping issues. You can find them here:http://dougbertenterprises.myshaklee.com... Also getting regular excercise is very helpful. Hope this helps. Good luck

Susan - posted on 03/10/2010

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GNC Women's Phyto-Estrogen Formula - this help me for a while or the Estroven or even adding the progesterone cream Everyone is different, so you just have to see what works for you. Also, wild yam can be beneficial.
The lessening of your period, moodiness, anxiety, hot flashes, night sweats at times. Support from friends.

Linsey - posted on 03/10/2010

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Hi, i have just been told yesterday that i am in the menopause and am so frightened because i dont know anything about it at all but have got some good tips from the women who have written things on here.. Keep the tips coming. Its good to know that other young women are going through the same thing as me.. xx

Barb - posted on 03/09/2010

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I too suffered from it for yrs when I was younger, now days they have good stuff for it one healthy ,safe one is St.John of Wort u can get it at the pharmacy I have a sister in law who suffered so I recommended it and wow she only suffers lightly after the first month of taking it . as in suffer light emiotnal stuff not out of control She is a much happier girl now.

[deleted account]

I also have a teenage daughter and find myself going through pre-menopause. I have experienced trouble sleeeping through the night, anxiety(which I never had before), moodiness and hot flashes. A friend at work suggested trying an over the counter product called Estroven. It's all natural herbs that target many of these symptoms. There are different versions focusing on your specific needs. It changed my life!! I take the maximum strength version. It has helped regulate my sleeping and best of all control my anxiety, as well as eliminate my hot flashes. It took about a week before I noticed a difference. Hang in there it does get better!

Anita - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi Cheryl-anne,
My symthoms are moodiness(more sensitive to things), more PMS than ever b4,difficulty in losing weight. More tired than usual and my eating habits have changed. This doctor I told you about address' all these issues and more. She talks about marriage, sexual changes, psychological changes (depression) and physiological changes. She also tells us what we can do to get that balance back into our lives. What are your symthoms? Hot flashes, heavier periods etc. If you want to share your symthoms ....I am here for you. There are answers for us out there. We need to find them and take control of our lives and our bodies. Take care.

Cheryl-anne - posted on 03/09/2010

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Thank-you Anita ,if you''d be willing to share some of your symthoms with me so that i may compare to what i think is the start of pre,and that way i can either comfirm to what i may be experiencing.I have written down the name of the Doctor name and will go pick up some books on premonopause.Thank -you again and good luck in your next stage of your journey:)

Anita - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi There,

I too feel that I am going through premenopause because my body is changing and I am also more sensitive about things. I was flipping through the tv chanels the other day and came across a women doctor that was taking about premonopause and the symthoms. I thought to myself....those are the symthoms I am experiencing. You can go to her website and read sumarys of her best selling books. The doctors name is Christiane Northrup, MD. I just ordered one of her books and I can't wait to get it. Also if you are on a budget like I am....you can find gently used books at amazon.com for half price. Please let me know if this helps you. Hang in there. We will get through this!!!!! Take it day by day. Take care.

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