Being 48 with 2 kids Dylan 11 and Angie 4, I find it hard to connect with younger Moms, I show love for my children all the time, I noticed younger Moms looking at me funny. they must realize that they will have at least 20 more years with their children than me with mine, I know how precious time is and if you do it right, you can show just as much love in 20 years as you would in forty if not more <3

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Blanca - posted on 09/21/2009

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I am 46 and adopted two children. They are 7 and a 10 years old and feel tired at times but... will not change it for anything... I might not seem so loving in public when I feel so tired but boy oh boy am I one of the luckiest on this earth to be called mom...!!! I am realizing how fast they are growing and am having MORE FUN , just chill and have type fun and I feel so blessed... tired but blessed.... hooray for motherhood!

Mary T. - posted on 09/21/2009

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Quoting eva:

Being 48 with 2 kids Dylan 11 and Angie 4, I find it hard to connect with younger Moms, I show love for my children all the time, I noticed younger Moms looking at me funny. they must realize that they will have at least 20 more years with their children than me with mine, I know how precious time is and if you do it right, you can show just as much love in 20 years as you would in forty if not more

Tina - posted on 09/21/2009

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hi, you go mama dont change the way you are with your children, i to am an older mum and the younger mum can view you quite strangely, why because we have so much more love, time and patience, and we have had more life experince than them. what you have to remember is what you were like in your twentys, i wld rather had gone out all the time, than look after ababy. Being a young mum has its advantages, the same as being an older mum, the good thing shld be that we all help each other, young or old we all have a lot of knowledge as parents, and working together and talking we can solve a lot of problems instead of driving ourselves mad, on our own. Come on lets reunite as a mum force, young and old.xxx

Paula - posted on 09/19/2009

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Eva,

there are no garuantees how long we have with our children all we can garuantee is that we will love them and provide for them. I have 3 children, 22,21, and 2. I will be 46 in November. One thing I am acutely aware of this time around is what a gift I have been given. If you feel like you do not connect with the 20 year olds, find a different group to hang with. I have found it is not the age I cannot connect with, it is the priority-and that has nothing to do with age. Keep looking, your peer group is out there....you just need to find them and I think you have made a great start by joining this group! You need to remember that you are exceptional and embrace it. Not everyone can pull this off at any age, let alone in thier 40's. We are pretty incredible, I think.

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Joyce - posted on 10/19/2009

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I don't know about you girls...but I think us older mommys have a totally different perspective on LIFE than we did when we were younger even. I have 8 children ages 7,9,11,13,16,18,20,21 and another 18 yr old who lives with us. I also Nanny for a young mother of 3 under 5. I honestly believe this young mother doesn't know what she's missing when I'm the one who gets to bathe her babies, and read them stories and rock them and sing to them etc. PERHAPS this just may be the reason they call us older moms GRAND!!

Rene - posted on 10/17/2009

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I never knew there was sooooo much love to give. I can't imagine not ever having enough time with my kiddos. I love them so much.

Susan - posted on 10/01/2009

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Hi Eva, I am 49 who has a daughter 29 and son 24, and am now raising a 10yr old daughter...yes I know, what an age difference! And...I am tired of hearing that one lol ;-) So, the looks of 'oh my god, why??' I can understand. And I am a Grandparent to a 1yr old and I wonder what the general public thinks when we go for a walk lol.. and yes when I go to my youngest's school or daycare, I too am the 'eldest'. It used to bother me, but as I see more and more are parents in their mid to late 40's now having kids, it's not as awkward...I think we're brave don't you? Keep up the great work...enjoy!! :=)

Melody - posted on 09/30/2009

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I'm 48 an a mom of a 22, soon to be 20 , 8 and soon to be 4 year old. I'll tell one thing everyone is different in how they raise their children. My advise is to do what you need for your children and don't worry about others. You can't please everyone . Beside you known what's best in the long run for you and them.

Angie - posted on 09/30/2009

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Hi I am in the same boat as you. I am 51 and i have a 25,14,and 9 year old. If i had the choice to do it again i would I think it is a blessing from God and yes sometimes it gets hard but wow i am enjoying them. As far as the way people look at you,,, just smile be proud..

Angela - posted on 09/29/2009

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Eva, I am a mom of 7, 5 of my own and 2 step their ages range from 22-5. I always worried about my three oldest sons when they were little if something was to happen to me and I died before they were adults. I had this fear because I lost my mom when I was 3yrs. old she was only 23. my dad was 29 when I was born and he live to see me turn 39 and his2 of his grandsons to be adults. Now here I am with my oldest being 22 and my youngest 5 and I'm 40. So we don't really know who will have the longest time with there children. Youth is no guarantee to longevity, just enjoy today and keep showing that love to your kids everyday, no matter if today is our last day on earth or 2110!

Elaine - posted on 09/27/2009

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Quoting eva:

Being 48 with 2 kids Dylan 11 and Angie 4, I find it hard to connect with younger Moms, I show love for my children all the time, I noticed younger Moms looking at me funny. they must realize that they will have at least 20 more years with their children than me with mine, I know how precious time is and if you do it right, you can show just as much love in 20 years as you would in forty if not more

Brenda - posted on 09/26/2009

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I am 51 and i am the mom of a 12 year old little girl and a 14 year old boy. Do i love being a mom at this age? You betcha i do. Ya i may get a little more tired then a young mom,,buttttttttttttttttttttttttt they do keep me young lol lol. I went to the Dr's office with my daughter and the nurse told my daughter to get off the scale and let her grandma on lol lol. My daughter said, that is not my grandma that is myyyyyyy mom. My daughter was upset lol. So you see our kids no matter our age still will stick up for mom lol. I am proud of allllllllllllllllllllllll us older moms :) Ya i may be a bit more protective and i may disipline a bit more, but thats ok. Time is precious and we must enjoy every minute of it with our kids. But God never put no tome limit on any of us, you don't have to be older to die, death comes at alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll ages. Hugsssssssssssssssssss

Kathy - posted on 09/26/2009

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I am almost 46 with a 25, 17, 13, and a 10 year old when I was 20 with my first I could understand the older moms and probably looked at them weird like, a lot of us were stupid when we were young, and we could not understand anybody else having kids later in life. I do not try an connect with younger moms I am too busy with my own and my life and job. Time that is never a garantee that we have nor will it ever be, enjoy what you have today and give what you can that is all that is important giving it all to your kids.

Lisa - posted on 09/26/2009

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This is my first post here at Circle of Moms...I'm glad I found this group of older moms! It's great to hear thoughts from MY perspective for a change! ha I'm 46 with a 12 and 6 year old. I was soooo shocked when I realized that some of the "moms" that were my age in my youngest's class were actually the GRANDMOTHERS! (see, I did the opposite faux pas, I asked the G-ma, is that your son? Probably made her day, LOL)

Thanks for letting me see I'm not the only one looking ahead and having concerns about how long I have with my boys.

Michelle - posted on 09/26/2009

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I, too, became a mother for the first time at 40. Our daughter is now 13. I have luckily found a group of 'older mothers.' We seem to cherish our children more, do not take them for granted as a right, rather we see them as a blessing. I see younger mothers being able to to do more things that require energy (water parks, Disney, hiking, etc.) than I can do, but I am giving my daughter a sense of peace, to slow down, to value life and relationships rather than always doing and going. Bless you as you walk your journey, being an older, much wiser, mother.

RUBY - posted on 09/25/2009

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I AM 53 AND RAISING A 17 A 14 AND ONE THAT JUST TURNED 4 TODAY I LOVE IT VERY MUCH MY HUSBAND AND I ADOPTED THE BABY WHEN HE WAS A NEWBORN OF 3 POUNDS 10 OUNCES MY HUSBAND DIED UNEXPECTED BEFORE OUR BABY SON WAS 2 SO I AM A SINGLE MOM RAISING 3 CHILDREN AND I DO LOVE IT FROM RUBY MICHAEL

Lisa - posted on 09/25/2009

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Hi Eva

I am 43 years old and have a 3 year boy and 8 month old girl. It is harder to connect with younger mothers I agree, but I have found a few mothers like me just starting their families now. I know that at this point in my life I am much more patient and do not let lifes stresses get to me like I did in my 20's and 30's. For us I make time to make everyday an adventure, because my husband and I have worked since we were very young I now have time to be at home with my children and enjoy every milestone. I would not have been able to do this when I was younger. Just know that there are lots of mothers like you out here.

[deleted account]

Hi Eva I'm Renee I'm 54 raising 3 grand kids, 11, 10 & 7. Don't give the young moms another thought. We never know when our time will come. You'll probably out live them all! Your age probably isn,t why their looking at you. They probably envie the relationship you have with your kids. Have A GREAT WEEK-END!!! Would love for u to join my circle

Joyce - posted on 09/25/2009

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I agree with alot of these post .I am 46 and have a soon to be 13 yr old.He doesn't mind the affection I show in public. I almost always go and have lunch with him at school and hug and kiss him in front of his school friends.I hope he never gets embarrassed by it. I lost my first son at 6 1/2 weeks to SIDS. I waited 12 yrs to have my next child. I cherish each moment we have together and tend to spoil him. But he is not spoiled rotten.Enjoy your children and your age and wisdom.

LeAnn - posted on 09/25/2009

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I think people have a different outlook on the concept of time among many other things when they reach about the age of 40. It is true that they grow up quick, and being older you realize this more than younger people. you know best how to respond to your child and honest loving relationships in childhood lead to healthy loving relationships in adulthood. good luck.

Imelda - posted on 09/24/2009

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Quoting eva:

Being 48 with 2 kids Dylan 11 and Angie 4, I find it hard to connect with younger Moms, I show love for my children all the time, I noticed younger Moms looking at me funny. they must realize that they will have at least 20 more years with their children than me with mine, I know how precious time is and if you do it right, you can show just as much love in 20 years as you would in forty if not more

Linda - posted on 09/24/2009

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Well, it sure seems like you found an important subject to comment on. I was 40 when my one and only son John Paul was born. I feel as if I will have enough time, what ever that may be, my husband on the other hand just turned 55 and our son is now 3 1/2. When we lived in the cities we felt more expected for mom and dad, but living in a small town, I feel like I have to say it out load that I am MOM. My husband has 3 grown daughters from another marriage so he feels cheated by time for his only son. Men want to be young and strong for their son's, to play sports and such.

Jillian - posted on 09/24/2009

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I can only agree with all of you. All my kids are still living at home. The oldest is twenty-four, the baby twelve. He was born when I was 42. They're free to move out or stay at home as long as they want. The older ones make good and fair contributions to the house and frankly, I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend time with, than them.

All of them still kiss and hug me quite freely. When the 19 year old was about 6, I kissed him goodbye at the school gate but then, thinking he might find it embarrassing, I suggested to him that I wouldn't kiss him in public if he didn't like it. He fixed me with a firm gaze and said "Mum, you kiss me anytime you want!" He's never changed his mind on it.

Oh yes, the boys are just as affectionate to their father. They freely hug him. The oldest boy likes to kiss him on the forehead, now that he's the tallest in the house!

Eva - posted on 09/24/2009

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Hi Colleen, Congratulations on your new baby coming, It's amazing how us older Mom's think alike, we never want to get away from our kids, they are everything to us. If I was a little younger and my body could handle it you bet I'd have more kids. I had Angie when I was 44, it was kinda hard I was very tired, and I still had to care for Dylan at the time. Good luck on your delivery, hope it goes very smoothly for you!

Eva - posted on 09/24/2009

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Hi Kelly, my mom had 10 kids I was the last, like you said back then women didn't stop having kids.

Colleen - posted on 09/24/2009

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I have 5 kids and one due any day..I'm 42. My friends think I am crazy! They're like did you PLAN this?! I'm like...yep :) My older ones are 19, 16, 15, 11 and 10. People are like don't you want to be free of your kids in a few years? They don't get it....no I don't want to be free of my kids! That's not why I had them. I'm not counting down to 18! I love every second w/them...and they are very excited to have a new baby brother coming! To hell w/ everyone else do what you want and let them stare!

Eva - posted on 09/24/2009

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Thanks Yolanda, and I think your right, since I seem to find myself talking to you ladies a LOT! :)

Eva - posted on 09/24/2009

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Sherry you got it exactly, I feel bad for these kids, I just feel like giving them a hug that they need. :(

Eva - posted on 09/24/2009

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Rebecca my son is 11 and he's the same way, he kisses me right in the middle of the Jr.High hallway, awesome! Women keep saying oh he won't want to do that pretty soon, It just goes to show that not everyone's children are the same and why do people assume that they should be. Enjoy, I know you are and so am I. Same goes for my 4 year old daughter we kiss all the time.:)

Kim - posted on 09/23/2009

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I am a mother of a 5y/o beautiful little girl and I will be the big 50 in Feb. I cannot tell you how proud I am to have been sooo blessed to have a child at 43 and how very much my love for her grows each year, month, day and second of our lives. I have never learned so much from a person so young. She is smart and tells it like it is and usually she is right. Of all the things I have accomplished in my life the single most wonderful thing is having her later in life...everything is so much more precious. Whenever I go to birthday parties I am the only one engaged with my daughter and I look around and the other mothers are sitting together in a circle talking. I always have people telling me I need to have more ME time b/c my time is always spent with my daughter. My take on that is that I work 40-45 hrs a week, am a single mom and she sees me about 3 hours a night until the weekend when I am able to spend a few precious days with her unless it is her dads weekend. i do my yard/house work and all other things the 4 days she is gone a month. She is the person who needs me now, she comes first before me...I don't understand people who do not respond to their children like they are the most important person in their lives., You go girl!!!

Karyn - posted on 09/23/2009

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I am 42 with 3 kids: 15, 10, 3. I really don't fit in at my son's preschool. All the moms are much younger and there are a few grandparents too - I feel in the middle and alone. When people ask about kids, they always seemed shocked that we spaced our's out so much. It wasn't planned, but it is our family and I wouldn't change a thing.

Rebecca - posted on 09/23/2009

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I am a mother of four..the oldest 2 are 28 & 24, my last two are 14 &13. I am very close to my children. I get comments aboutthe fact that my son who is 14 will kiss me, give me hugs and he doesn't care who is around. My daughter is the same way. The thing is my kids respect me and love me and know I am always there for them. I am 48. Some of the younger moms think I am my childrens grandmother. We enjoy our children more because we are older. I think we don't have the pressure, we have done it already and now we can have fun with them.

Hildy - posted on 09/23/2009

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I am 55 and have an 11 year old son. I just joke about my age and leave it at that!!! I love being what the British call an OAP (Old Age Pensioner). I not only get the senior citizen's but the children's discounts as well. What's there not to like!!!

Janet - posted on 09/23/2009

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i know what you mean . i was 41 when i had my 1 and only kid ... they do look at ya like you was an alien or something . my son was 6 months and a nurse asked if i was his grandma ..... i got mad and had a few words with her and the dr . she is not working there any more ...then i had a guy from farmers market to ask me if i was his grandma and was going to make him a apple pie ((( i had a few words with him to ))) .

Lisa - posted on 09/23/2009

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yep, we got dirty. we got scraped and scratched. we got to eat candy. we made it and so will our kids. A good friend of mine, who is much younger, has a 5 month old. I swear to god it drives me nuts to watch her. she's worried he's cold/hot/hungry/dirty/tired/etc. The biggest thing is cold/hot. I've tried and tried to convince her that if she's comfortable so is he. The other day she had him dressed in a fleece outfit saying he was cold, while she was wearing shorts and a tank top. ARGH! I stripped him down to his diaper and put him on the floor to play. The kid stopped being cranky and she was so surprised. This isn't her first child (older is 13) so it's so frustrating.

We learned how to take care of babies/children by doing it. The younger generations of parents learn from books. We need to continue to provide common sense advice when possible and ignoring stupidity as long as it's not hurting a child.

[deleted account]

ignore the funny looks showing how much you care for someone is the most important thing in the world I know i get funny looks when i show my sons i care in public im 51 my eldest is 27 i just pretend hes my toy boy and have a laugh and he plays along until he forgets and calls me mum.

Patti - posted on 09/23/2009

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Hi! Just so you know... I have a daughter 25 and one 18 and I still love on them every chance I get... our children learn love from us.... they are not born knowing what love is... it is our responsibility to teach them about love so they can teach their children about love.. Don't feel bad about loving your children... take each second you have with them and run with it... they grow up and leave home way too fast... I commend you for being an older mom.... and for loving your children daily.... God bless you!!!

KELLY - posted on 09/23/2009

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I was 44 when I had my daughter. I am really enjoying having a daughter later in life. I also have a 11 yr. old son. Have fun!

Sherry - posted on 09/23/2009

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I agree, I am 44 and I was in the airport with my 2 little girls. A lady about 50ish came up to me and commented on how well I was engaging with my girls while most parents around were ignoring/yelling at theirs. I think older parents have a lot of positive things to offer their kids.

Stephanie - posted on 09/23/2009

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I just turned 40 and have a 5 1/2 year old and my husband is 49. It does worry me that we're older parents, but I grew up with older parents and they said having a little one kept them younger longer. I hope we both have a long time with our daughter and if there are more kids in our future then we'll be happy about that. If not we enjoy every day with her.

Yolanda - posted on 09/22/2009

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Hi Eva i am a 43 yr old mother of 4 ages 26,25 21 and3yrs and i can tell you there are many rewards in becomming a mother over 40.I am much more confident now in raising my child than I ever was before. You just keep up the good work and know that you are not alone!! This is a great site for you to be on keep your head up!!

Sherina - posted on 09/22/2009

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Dont think they are looking at you cause they have 20 years more..I think sometimes they look because I at 42 have 3 kids the youngest is 6 months old and honestly from what I see is #1 they cant believe how fabulous we are and that yes we have sex still and are provocative creatures..plus most not all ,but most young moms dont know squat about themselves half the time let alone children.I am proud to be a mom over 40.I did what I wanted to do before I took on motherhood and I lived and enjoyed my youth and now I have a bunch of time to enjoy my kids.

Mary - posted on 09/22/2009

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I am 44,and my children are 25,15 &6.I have been called grandma more than once.I am a grandma but not of my 6 yr old son.,My son is in kindergarten and i think the teachers give me more respect now than they did when my oldest child was this age.

Kelly - posted on 09/22/2009

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HI Eva, I'm 44 and have 3 children aged 20, 18 & 3. I agree with the previous poster that said that her little one keeps her young and that she can see in her friends with older kids that they look and seem much older. I am very thankful for this as I too think I would feel much older with my oldest kids being adults and out and about doing their own thing. Quite often my eldest daughter and my son have both been mistaken as a parent to my 3yo and my daughter has really had some filthy looks when out pushing the stroller but who cares? Those people don't know us and if they judge just on seeing someone pushing a pram then they are not really worth knowing anyway. I must say I don't like people thinking I am my 3yo's grandmother but that doesn't happen very often, usually when the other daughter is with me and they think she is the mother.

I haven't started kindy yet, only a few months away now so I haven't really had much contact with other mothers, but I'll soon find out what it will be like being around the other mothers.

It's funny that in our great grandparents days women had babies from teenage years to virtually when their bodies could produce no more, but these days we all seem to be judged....we are too old to have a baby, too young, have too many kids, are selfish only having one etc etc. We can't please everybody and why should we? Our families are the most important things to us and not the opinions of strangers.

Laura - posted on 09/22/2009

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I too understand your feelings. I've got 3 children 26,25,22 and then I became a mother again,I'll be 50 this come years with a 2 year old... I don't fit in. My sweet baby doesn't care why should I...enjoy your life and love your family!!!!

Eva - posted on 09/22/2009

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Thanks everyone, I don't feel so alone anymore, this is an inspirational Circle of Moms. Thanks for talking to me.

Joanna - posted on 09/22/2009

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They may be looking @ you w/ admiration or as an example of behavior they would like to emulate.

Simone - posted on 09/22/2009

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wowww thats fantastic having children at our age... i had mine earlier im 45 and my last child is now 9... the other mothers take no notice, u have special things to offer ur children ur life history..... u go girl have a nice day... im from new zealand but i live in australia and my name is simone

Cathy - posted on 09/22/2009

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I had my first and only child at 36. He was and is trully a gift from God! I volunteer at his school one day a week and get the same looks from the 20-somethings. But I also see that all the "older" moms have their kids prepared and ready for the day! There is something to be said for being "older and wiser"!! I also take time with him and appreciate our time together. Where as the 20-somethings are always looking for a way to pawn their kids off on somebody else. How can you enjoy your child if they are not even with you!

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