boyfriend abuse

Alice - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter can not stay apart from her boyfriend. He is mentally abusive and she see's that but will not stay broke up with him, says he will change. He makes demands on her the last one made was that she can't weigh over 110 pounds.
Advice on a conversation I can have with her, take note that we don't talk much because she thinks I am preaching to her. I want a relationship back with my daughter.\\\\\\
Help
thanks Alice

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He has probably made her feel that she couldn't get anyone else! My daughter was emotionally and physically abused. He made her think she was worthless! It made me sooo angry! All you can really do is tell her how you feel, then just let her know how much you love her and that you will ALWAYS be there for her. Talking him down will only alienate her from you. My prayers go out to you and her!

Lisa - posted on 10/22/2009

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There are some good movies out there and real life stories of boyfriends hitting their girlfriends and it usually starts with mental or verbal abuse. Get some of those movies and watch on eor two with her. Like the on e with Julia Roberts. Also pray!

Tracy - posted on 10/21/2009

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all i could say to that would be if possible say nothing, as the more you try to tell her its wrong and she should get away from him she wont and you are the bad guy then, i know the more my parents tried to stop me going out with boys the more i did it, they told me not to get married but i did, they told me they didnt like my long term patner but i stayed with him. she will come to her senses one day and all you can do is be there when she does. i find that if you just be there an listen dont judge but say along the lines of how do you feel about having to weigh this much she might start thinking and come to her own conclusion one day, lets hope that day is soon, having not long come out of a controlling relationship i know how you lose you own confidence and ability to decide, even though my freinds tried at first to get me to see what was going on and i knew deep down they were right but i had to make my own mistakes in order to realise i didnt want to carry on as i was. sadly i see others doing the same but all you can do is be there to listen and be that shoulder to cry on as and when needed

Hilda - posted on 10/20/2009

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I know it hard to watch your own childern do things that is not right for them but the only thing you can do is..........................................................................Always,

Alway let them know how much you love them..And that you will always be there for them.. Then go into you paryer closet and pray............. Prayer can move mountians.. Have faith!! Faith is Daring to Believe the unseen........ Then watch it come to pass....

Raymonde - posted on 10/20/2009

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Quoting alice :

boyfriend abuse

My daughter can not stay apart from her boyfriend. He is mentally abusive and she see's that but will not stay broke up with him, says he will change. He makes demands on her the last one made was that she can't weigh over 110 pounds.
Advice on a conversation I can have with her, take note that we don't talk much because she thinks I am preaching to her. I want a relationship back with my daughter.\\\\\\
Help
thanks Alice


I have found that the more we try to tell them not to go out with someone who isn't right for them, or not to do something that we disagree with, the more we push them towards that person, or activativity. Support her in as positive a way as you can, be there for her and pray for the best.
And I'll be honest with you, it ISN"t easy!!!!

Raymonde - posted on 10/20/2009

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Quoting alice :

boyfriend abuse

My daughter can not stay apart from her boyfriend. He is mentally abusive and she see's that but will not stay broke up with him, says he will change. He makes demands on her the last one made was that she can't weigh over 110 pounds.
Advice on a conversation I can have with her, take note that we don't talk much because she thinks I am preaching to her. I want a relationship back with my daughter.\\\\\\
Help
thanks Alice


 

Lucinda - posted on 10/19/2009

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The only thing you can do is be there for her. When she is ready she will come to you. It's very hard not to be able to help. But, all of your preaching will only drive her away. Just let her know that you Love her and will always be there for her. Please never turn your back on her others will but you need to be there no matter what. She will eventually see exactly what you are talking about but in her own time.

Be patient and my prayers are with you.

Rachel - posted on 10/19/2009

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hi, it is very hard when our kids are is relationships you disagree with but I think it is very difficult to make someone see your point of view rather than thier own.

If you want a relationship back with her then just support her to live her life and allow her the space to come to her own realization about this person. x

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