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Children over 20's mom

Brigitte - posted on 11/25/2008 ( 5 moms have responded )

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How do we let them make their own mistakes without freaking out.

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Linda - posted on 11/30/2008

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Hi .. As a mum to 3 grown children aged 34. 30 and 25.. I have lerned that no one is perfect.. as much as we wouldlike to keep our children out of harms way.. we have to let them go and make mistakes in life to be able to grow and learn from them.. the choice's they make will shape them in the adults they will be come.. just be sure to let them know they always have a home no matter where it is and you are and that they are loved no matter what.. we try to guide them in to the right choices but we cant force them and we are not to say they are right or wrong for they are not ours to make... good luck and I hope they become great adults in life...

Sue - posted on 11/28/2008

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Saw your post and was going to say, you freak out, just in private... but someone already has!! I try to remember what I was doing at their age, and how I thought then, before I say anything to my kids. But I have also said right out, I think you are going to regret doing this, but I understand you think you have to.

Gayle - posted on 11/27/2008

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You just freak out in private. I agree with the below. My daughter got married at 21 and moved back home 8 mths later. I was still paying off the wedding when the divorce was final. That wasn't much fun :-) I just told her I loved her and was there for her. Not much else you can do. They have to learn the hard way like we did!

Gwen - posted on 11/27/2008

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give them all the advice you can, and stay strong. Give them the pro's and con's. Tell them that you are upset with the decision that they made. Make sure you state the what they did was wrong, what they did was stupid or crazy. Never say that they are stupid or crazy, the act they did was. Always tell them that you love them no matter what. And tell them they have to live with the decision they did and make corrections to it if needed. Don't bail them out, let them do it. Just be there to support them. Criticism of what they did only brings anger out in all!!

Jeanne - posted on 11/27/2008

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You can only be there for them. Sincerely let them know that they can always come to you, if only just to vent or really need help. If they know you love them unconditionally, they will listen to your advise eventually.

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