Chores yay or nay?

Lisa - posted on 09/08/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My husband helps me with the boys or anything else I need. I explained to him that he is part of this family and with both of us working it takes both of us to do the rest. Cooking is not a priority for me with homework still needing to be done. If I take out something he generaly pitches in to cook when he gets home. We work together and it really helps. Everyone here has chores and they do not get paid. As a part of the family they are expected to pitch in. The 7yo is responsible for putting away his own cloths and picking up the cloths from his room and their bathroom. The 9yo picks up his own cloths and any that have been left in another room as well as feeding the cats. The 12yo picks up his own room, puts away his own cloths and washes dishes. I do laundry and clean the rest of the house. My husband takes care of everything outside. What works for you? Some peolpe don't have their children do anything. I disagree with that otherwise how will they learn responsibility?

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Starr - posted on 09/08/2009

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I have an 8 year old and at this point she is responsible for putting her clean laundry away and cleaning her room each week. She must dust, and make her bed. I take care of vaccumming her room. She gets 2.00 a week for these chores and of that 2.00, she must put 1.00 in her bank account and the other dollar is hers to save or do whatever she wants with it. She normally saves it for family vacation and each year she has 52.00 to spend at the beach on anything she wants. This money she uses at the beach is things I would not get her, like yet another webkins. It works well, it teaches her the value of money, the value of having a savings account and money management.

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Kaye - posted on 09/23/2009

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I completely agree with you. I had behaviour problems with my 7 year old girl. One of the major things that fixed it was that she had to earn everything she wanted (expect the basics). If she wanted a treat, she had to do a chore to earn it. If she wanted icecream, she had to do a chore to earn it. Basically, she pretty much had to earn everything but 3 meals, clothes, etc (the basics). If she wanted to go to the park, she has to earn it.If she was naughty, her punishment was extra chores! This taught her responsibility, and taught her that for every action there was a re-action! If her action was good, she was rewarded, if her action was naughty she was punished with a chore! I now have a completely different child, who responded very well to the responsibility given to her. We are now very proud parents! This is a win-win situation. Both my husband and I work full time, I don't have quite as much to do around the house because of her help!

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Our family operates the same way everyone has to pitch in with getting things done. That came from how I was raised in our house mom and dad cooked, my brothers and I set the table, cleared the table, one washed the dishes, one dried and one put away.the dishes. We were responsible for cleaning our rooms, making our beds, and bringing our laundry downstairs. It was not to be paid, problem is now with children is if parents want them to do something they need to pay them! No you don't! Your part of this family and you have responsibilities or we start taking privliedges away. Your doing the right thing.

Lisa - posted on 09/20/2009

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Lisa, I agree with you. Many times it takes an entire family to keep the home up, inside and out. My 13y/o son cleans his room. empties the trash and cleans the bathroom. In the summertime he washes the dishes maybe once a week. I want him to have responsibilty and be able to take care of himself as he gets older. However, I do 95% of the washing, cooking and cleaning.WEEEWW!!! Like, you my husband does the outside of the house, but that's only in the winter time !!!However, there was a time that I did everything for him wanting to be a good mom. But what would happen if I were not able to do these things. I want him to be able to take care of himself and hopefully be a good father/husband and teach his child the way he was taught. Responsiblity is great for every child.

Teresa - posted on 09/20/2009

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I agree with the idea that children should have chores, I do not disagree with paying them, but we do it a little different. When our kids hit their teens we started hearing complaints about "all my friends get an allowance I should too" So we sat down and figuured out their share of all the household expenses and showed them that it costs us several hundred dollars to provide for them. We made bank book and "deposit" their "allowance" which is about $20 more than the amount we came up with for housing, food, clothes, school ect. Then we "pay mom and dad" by deducting the amount previously figured. The remaining $20 covers any little treats they ask for. If we offer a treat it doesn't count but if they ask for it we deduct it from the balance.

We actually only had to do this for about 5 or 6 months, they quickly caught on to how much better off they were not having an "allowance" because when we aren't watching the pennies in their "account" they get more treats and random suprises. Now they get a little extra cash if they do a big chore without being asked or without taking hours to get it done.

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I believe that all children should have chores, it's a part of learning how to take care of themselves for their later years. I too have and know of many people who do not make their children do anything, no chores, NOTHING. These are the people who expect something for nothing now and as they are grown. I know, I'm married to one. Believe me, any one of you who do not have your children do anything for themselves or others, it will come to no good. They grow up to learn their lessons hard, they don't hold down jobs very well, and we as tax payers are paying their way through life until they decide to get a job, and learn how to take care of themselves and their own. To me, that should have been learned long before they became an adult. Responsibility is a rare thing anymore, and I for one would like to see more children being raised with helping in the family they were born into. Hope I haven't offended anyone, sometimes I feel strongly about certain subjects.

Jana - posted on 09/11/2009

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I once read bits of a book that I still want to get a copy of. The book is call Mrs. Clean Jeans, Housekeeping with Kids. Mrs. Clean Jeans offered lots of hints and anecdotes. The book covers what chores fall under the category of because you live here and are part of the family to chores that earn monetary compensation. Mrs. Clean Jeans included lists of chores appropriate for specific ages. I have tried to apply certain strategies over time. Things that as a family we were able to be consistent with did work. I highly recommend the book. Chores in our family are still a work in process. (2 children ages 5 and 8 and a husband who is known for being a great thinker.)

Cindy - posted on 09/10/2009

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I believe chores are very important for a child. We did not give allowance as first they got everything they needed and many of they things they wanted, within reason. Chores teahc a child not only how to survive on their owne someday but that it is part of being a family to help each other out. We did change chores around so that they would all learn how to sweep, mop, vacuum, clean the dishes, clean the bathroom. I raised 4 children and they all keep their own place and it all actually my 18 year old is the best cleaner of them all. He can't stand things to be messy, which drives his wife nuts and yet she loves it. At least they can never say they don't know how.

Cheryal - posted on 09/10/2009

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I agree too even though my little man is a special needs child he loves to help out, too the point of being a pain but hey he enjoys it.

Penny - posted on 09/10/2009

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I totally agree..,.... I wish My house ran that smoothly....I usually have to Yell to get my girls do clean up... not always... but,... lol My hubby is great.. we are a team in every way.... It is the best thing you can do for your children... showing them what they have to know in life...

Berta - posted on 09/08/2009

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I am with you on this. I did not give my kids "allowances" only because if they needed something they would just ask. Chores help them with life skills, it teaches them to fend for themselves. It is a good thing not a punishment. So you keep doing what you are doing it really does work and will pay off for them in the long run.

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