Confessions of a (not so) SuperMom

Kaere - posted on 02/05/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

3

2

0

I'm 41 and had been happily (or at least steadily) going along on my life with no children as planned... and... OOPS... pregnant at 38. One would think by the time you reach my age, you couldn't be surprised by this kind of thing but there I was surprised and though I had never planned on children I couldn't come up with a single reason not to raise a child. So I have a son born in August of 2007 and find myself challenged everyday by the life that he has thrust upon me. I know that these challenges must be taken as fair play since, I, too, thrust a life upon him. I love my son dearly but find myself wanting my life back... a life that didn't include being woken at five am, two hours of toddler time, a full day of work, an evening meal that consists of "NO" and "I no EAT" (or my personal favorite "I no eat THAT anymore" ), kicking, screaming, throwing food, and tears, more toddler time and then an hour of bedtime routine. I want the best world for him and there are moments in every day that I think the best world is one that does not include me in the role of Mama....

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Angela - posted on 02/15/2010

21

75

5

Kaere girl i can relate!
I have two sons born very far apart because i didn't want to be a Mother either time. my oldest is 19, and he challenged all my emotions from the day he was born! We had many years of him pushing all my buttons and me responding in kind, until i figured out i am not superMom and i told him so! but then i had to go and have his little brother 13 years later! So here i am at 45, with a very academically inclined 6 year old. who doesn't know the meaning of letting Mommy have the last word in any conversation. We are always having huge debates, with me most o the time on the losing end, cause the child could really carry a conversation, since he could read so well. As far as tantrums go, after all we already establish SuperMom i am not, I throw the tantrums, it surprised the little thing but i got my point across. And since i have medical challenges, i try to do something good for myself evryday even if is only five minutes with the bathroom door closed, cause for some reason this child does follow me all over the house. I don't know if he think i might jump through the BR window an run away cause i always saying something to that effect. so don't feel bad that all the motherly feelings not altogether there, it comes and goes. one thing that could really help ACCEPT HELP FROM FAMILY WHEN THEY OFFER, cause they wouldn't always. and start praying for God to grant you PATIENCE! the first time i didn't but the second time i did and it makes a world of difference. I still wouldn't get the award for Mother of the Year or Month but it helps and i do feel like that kinda when my little one hugs me and say "you are the best Mom!"

Michelle - posted on 02/07/2010

10

32

0

there isn't one mom in the history of moms that hasn't felt that way at one point or another . It's normal . But having a son will give you so much joy and the experiences you will have raising him is far better than not having a son at all. Just take a deep breath and enjoy being a mom

Kaere - posted on 02/06/2010

3

2

0

Ah... I'm an artsy crafty kind of girl and I had these wonderful plans for all of the things I would do for and with my wee one... I made him a precious little book for his first birthday, Winnie the Pooh character magnets to play with on a magnet board... a fabric book of numerals and animals. Each year on his birthday I set him about with paints and canvases (much to his Daddy's chagrin) and let him paint... I have so many ideas of the things I want to make for him... colour and shape flashcards, alphabet and word flashcards... but the energy and the hours get away from me. He has begun to read words, can draw a face by himself and knows more than I would have thought possible for a child of his age yet he can't get a grip on "You may not hit Mama," and "You may not throw your toys". People keep saying "Oh they grow up so fast... you'll miss him at this age" and I think to myself 'what drugs are you taking? he can't grow up out of this fast enough for me.' I reread the book I made for him... a list of promises that is as much for me as it is for him and remind myself that these are the Mommy Truths that I want to live by the two big ones these days are: "Mommy promises that the words 'I love you' will never be followed by the word 'but'" and "I promise that there is nothing you can break that is more valuable than you are" My little one is fond these days of playing "magic wand" (made from a series of magic markers stuck together cap to end) "Wiggle Wiggle turn you into a ____________" the game is hilarious as he tries to figure out how to be a flower or a butterfly... I wonder if i could "Wiggle Wiggle" him into a child who stops when he's told?

Andrea - posted on 02/06/2010

3

4

0

There is no such thing as a Super mum!
Dont try to be her, we all have faults and all have those feeling at some time during our childrens forming years but stick in there its the most satisfying thing you can do. Find a group of Mums to chat to, you need some company, and it will get easier, take one day at a time.

Fiona - posted on 02/05/2010

51

16

12

Oh, how I can relate Kaere! I was 39 when my little surprise got going, and I too made the decision to continue the pregnancy and to bring her up. My little girl was born just before my 40th birthday in January 2000. I too struggled, and not a day has gone by when I don't think with affection of "the old days" - those times when I was a successful career woman, with lots of staff under my supervision, a large disposable income, company cars and all sorts of perks, not to mention work I found completely challenging, involving and rewarding - I loved it! Needless to say, children did not feature in my plans either... Still, despite my failings, my daughter is doing very well, she is now ten years old, loving school (although she's not academic in any way) and loving life with a wide circle of friends. A horrible incident led me to a second pregnancy (I must have been extremely fertile at the time) and my wee son resulted when I was 45 (don't believe those who say if you're over 40 and overweight you can't get pregnant). My son has just started school this year, and I really feel like the "Old Boiler" in amongst the "Spring Chickens" in the early education class. But he too is bonny, charming and well-liked by his peers and his teachers. He has special needs, and can say very little, but is in mainstream school. There are MANY challenges on a daily basis, but we chug along somehow. You may not be "Supermum" to yourself, but to your son you are his entire world. I know it's hard, everyday, but you can and will do it. Keep in touch if you can, because I'm interested in someone with a similar story to mine. xx Fiona

Lynne - posted on 02/05/2010

10

0

2

You need support from other Mamas, Mama! We've been there. Do you have anyone at home in the evenings? Every mother that I know has had the same feelings more than once. Hang in there, sleep when ever you can. Toddlers are harder than infants. yea, then come teenagers.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms