Divorce at 51, with adult children

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

Hi My name is Donna, Iam going through a divorce, which lasted 28 years. My husband has been my boys bestfriends as long as I can remember. My oldest is 26 and my youngest is 23. My youngest is upset that Iam the one that is breaking up his family. He still lives at home and will be getting married in June of this year. My husband tells them way to much about our problems, lives, money and personal information. My youngest will hardly talk to me. There dad taught them no respect for me. Both boys have told me what a great mom I was!

Mediation is this week, and Iam not looking forward to it. Iam hoping and praying that we do not have to go to court. I have a very good group of lawyers and am excited to get this over with. It has been going on for 2 years. I gave myself and ulcer trying to keep things together. My ulcer is gone now, but it will be hard for me to find a job, hoping that I can work.

Could use prayers for now. Thanks to all who have listened. I will give more info. later. Going to bed for now! God Bless all moms trying to raise and keep their families together!!!
Donna (Dallas, Texas)

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Sherry - posted on 01/06/2015




Hi, my name is sherry.
I was in a so called 30 year marriage.
Raised 3 boys had a nice home, great child neighborhood ect.....
Addiction caused me to leave. I left the now 3 adult children and the husband, my dogs :( since june iv been living with my mother in a nice place. The boys know very well why I left. Didnt blame me...
Starting over has been great, I have alot of work here and love it. It has been hard leaving my dog the most. My oldest son wont answer my communications ? he has always been very private. The other two are feeling the brunt of living there with all this stuff to do cause the maid (me) is gone go fiqure! I just feel sad about how this family just fell apart. I need to give alot of adjustment time here I guess before I judge it. One thing for sure is im so much more happier its now my turn !!!
my youngest is 22,27,30. Thanks for letting me share! When we were under the same roof there was alot negitive energy and blame and disrespect now im somewhat freeier

Karen Voight - posted on 11/13/2009




Good Luck to you Donna. Divorce is hard for everyone, I'm sure when the dust settles your relationship with your boys will get stronger.

Marilyn - posted on 11/13/2009




i do understand its not agreat thing to go with iot still hurts after 7 years separeated he went with aso called friend and all my children have grown up i have 10-12 grandchilderen and it still hurts me when i see them asi was left without little finacial support yes i will keep u in prayer as you need it at this time

Anita - posted on 11/13/2009




Hi Donna I too was divorced after 28 years of marriage. It has been 7 years now since my ex walked out 6 weeks before our son was to get married. It was very difficult for my children who are now 33 daughter and a son 29 but they are doing better now. They don't see their dad much he has remarried in fact he remarried as soon as our 60 days was up. He doesn't speak to me he left me so I don't know why. The kids say he is miserable that suits me fine. LOL I remarried 2 years after the divorce and lost my second husband 7 months ago. He died in his sleep. Now I am alone at 54 and trying to make a living for myself. I just take things one day at a time some days it is only hours or minutes at a time. Stay strong you can do it. I will remember you in my prayers. Anita Foley Alabama

Sara - posted on 11/12/2009




Hang tight, this time next year things will be very different. Even adult children feel a need to take sides. Give it time. Your son is probably scared to death especially with his marriage in June. He is grieving the loss of "his family", just as each of you is in their own way. Perhaps talk with his fiancee. She may be able to help him easier than you. You are in my thoughts.

Cindy Berot - posted on 11/12/2009




you know I was in an abusive (mentally )31 years of marriage ,to a person I thought I was in love with. When he left for someone almost our daughters age, I thought it was the end of my world, but ten years laterI am having the best years of my life I can put my head on my pillow and not have to wait up for someone.I ALSO DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE HIS DISRESPECT .YOU KNOW MY KIDS RESPECT ME NOW

Jackie - posted on 11/08/2009




Hi there Donna, stay strong and stay focused, you are doing what is right and eventually the boys will see this , small steps and you will not stumble, I will pray for you and the difficulties you are going through right now , you have a right to lead your life and hopefully you will get a job, its a new begining for you , onwards and upwards ...........love from Ireland Jackie xx

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