Do we ever stop worrying about our children?

Cheryl - posted on 05/29/2010 ( 172 moms have responded )

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Hi there. My son has just turned 18 this week and has been buying beer, vodka etc everyday.........I am really worrying about this as I dont drink. Is this just a novelty for him to buy it and will it wear off i wonder.
I know he is 18 and should now be able to live his own life, but I can help but worry and possibly interfere.
Is this normal?

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Erika - posted on 06/02/2010

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Hi Cheryl,
I know from experience that you can not prevent them from drinking. You should guide him and to educate him on drinking, like what kind of alcohol gives what kind of result, not to drink while he is driving and the damage that alcohol can cause in the brain of a person under 21 years old. The second thing is to make him understand that he owes you responsability : for all the years that you have been there for him, he owes it to you to take care of himself in the first place.
Give it a try, you never know.
PS.: you will find plenty about alcohol abuse and consequences through google.

Lynn - posted on 06/02/2010

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NEVER!!!!! My oldest is 23 has a great job a good head on her shoulders, goes to school full time and works full time doesn't party and I still worry about her each and every day.... we are parents that is just what we do!!! Good luck!!!!!

Kimberly - posted on 06/02/2010

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How does he get alcohol. Don't you have to be 21. I'd be concerned if he's drinking daily. I thought I drank alot when I was young, but I didn't drink daily.

Donna - posted on 06/01/2010

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It's perfectly normal to worry over your children. Rather or not you should intefere depends on a lot of things. Does he still live at home or is he self sufficient? If he is supporting hisself you really can't do much more than give advice.But,you never stop worrying.

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2010

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hi i have 7 children,6 boys and 1 daughter,my daughter is the oldest aged 25,my next oldest will be 21 this november, i also have an 18 yr oldand it is normal to worry abt your kids,as i constantly do,and i intefere in their lives as well,its a natural thing to do,especially these days,don,t worry to much,all you can do is let your child/children know that you will always be there4 them when they need you,and explain to them abt the dangers of excessive drinking and not to leave drinks on tables when they go out drinking.as he has only just turned 18,he is most likely want to be like his other mates,most teenagers find it fun drinking everyday, but they usually slow down as it becomes to expensive,and they end up getting sick of drinking everyday,what ever you do don,t fall into the trap of buying his alcohol for him as that could end up causing problems...

Carla - posted on 06/01/2010

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You never stop worrying. My oldest is 27 and I worry all the time. Children do not always do as we want them to or live the lives that we expect them to. Over the years I harped at my children all the time, but then realized that I was only edging them to do more of what they were doing that I did not approve of. Thats when I realized that it was their life and they could live it the way they wanted to. Their mistakes are their own to make and fix on their own. You will always worry about them no matter where or what they are doing, but let them come to you and ask for advice or help with a problem.

Louise - posted on 06/01/2010

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This is normal and it will wear off. My son turned 18 last year and he could not wait to be able to buy a drink in the pub and buy alcohol and now he goes to the pub occasionaly but has never come home drunk. We never stop worrying about our children and if you think he is drinking to access then say something.

Joyce - posted on 06/01/2010

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Yes, it is normal. My children are all grown and I still worry about some choices they make. It is the nurturing thing in you. I would tell him I don't approve, but that he has to make the choices in his life, good or bad, and he must face the consequences of those choices.

Jacqui - posted on 06/01/2010

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Yeah I think this is normal.. he's just enjoying the freedom of being "18".. you know the age where they can now do what they like and seem to know everything ( they think).. New found aduthood. Buying it every single day and drinking every single day is a little worrying.. Id keep an eye on it.. As long as it is not interfering with his education/work then he'll just get bored with it and broke after awhile. Are his friends doing the same? If it is interfering with his education or work then its time to have a serious chat with him and nip it in the bud.

Christine - posted on 05/31/2010

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No you never stop worrying!! When they're kindy age you worry if their peers will accept them, and then it's the worry of schoolwork, are they keeping up etc and then in high school the worry if they're getting good grades, have they nice friends or will their friends be a negative influence, you worry about the songs they listen to on their phone, the shows they watch at sleepovers, about whether they'll start to think alcohol is cool, arguments they might get into on MSN or Facebook, the list is endless!!!! Keep all lines of communication open and let your son know what you hope for him! I think you worry about your kids till the day you die!! You just want what's best for them and when they get to a certain age your influence over them starts to lessen and you worry the most when they start to want to be independent yet don' t have the maturity to make the wisest decisions!

Becky - posted on 05/31/2010

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You never stop being a Mom, but you do stop babying them. When they are trying their wings and fly from the nest, you still watch and guide their flight pattern.
I know that it may sound harsh and old fashioned, but my house is under my rules. No illegal or immoral actions without sever consequences. Hang in there 8-)

Greykell - posted on 05/31/2010

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I also have an 18 year old daughter and a 19 year old son, so I can totally relate to what you are saying. First try and talk to him about it, if that doesn't work, pray for him everyday. Make sure that you have communication with him all the time and always ask questions about where he is going and who he is with. My kids act like they don't like this, but as long as I know who and where they are I feel better. One thing I have always told my kids: if you drink and can't find a ride home call me no matter what the circumstances, cause as the parent you would rather help them out than not.

Michele - posted on 05/31/2010

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Yes, your going to worry and even though he is 18, the word teen is still behind the number,

Sharon - posted on 05/31/2010

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My son is 21 this year, and yes. I still worry, and my daughter is 8 and I worry about her even more. It comes with being a Mom, i reakon. My gran always said when they small, they step on your lap, when they big, they step on your heart! so true! . Hopefully with all the talks I have with my kids, something will stick, and I find them to be reasonably responsible according to there age.

I just pray that the Lord goes with them wherever they are, and that He will protect them and bring them home safe. Without this reassurance I think I'd be way more worried.

Denise - posted on 05/31/2010

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My daughter is 26 (lives in NYC) and my son just turned 22. She does not drink, but as she lives away from me in a big city, that is my concern re: her. My son drinks beer, and started around 18. He was never "in trouble", but the potential was there. Now he has graduated college and maturity is finally kicking in. I think as moms we try to give them the "right from wrong" interpretation skills. It has not been an easy life for them (my divorce/financial issues), but somehow through the adversity, they managed. As a single mom, I had to let them go and live. They did, and now thrive. Keep your communication lines open. Let him come to you to talk. Don't freak out over the small stuff. (easier said than done) Relate your past experiences to him. Let him know you are more than mom, you are a human who "gets him" Kids always heard you. I think the "mom voice" is ever present and speaking to them all the time. Worry is NORMAL. I told my kids, You should be glad someone loves you enough to worry about you. The time for You to worry is if there is no one out there worrying about you." Hope this helps

Lori - posted on 05/31/2010

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Cheryl, is it his way of "acting" out to a parent that doesn't drink? I wonder if our children (no matter how old they are), don't still feel they have to assert their authority over their own lives! My son is 35 and makes some of the worst decisions possible...I always wonder what is he thinking. It wasn't until his 35th birthday that I informed him that he better start thinking through his "decisions" a little more carefully, because we aren't going to help bail him out of the crap he gets himself in! No not legal problems...just the regular stupid choices being made.

Debbie - posted on 05/30/2010

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This is so normal, my sons are 35 and 31 and I still worry about them, that is something we will do as mothers our whole life , it never stops.

Cheryl - posted on 05/30/2010

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Thanks everyone...my son does have an apprenticeship in a garage in mechanics.
He has not been drunk as yet, but it just scares me that they dont know what they are doing when under the influence!!
Thank you for all your replies it does help to know that other people are either going through or have been through the same thoughts as I am having at the moment.

Melissa - posted on 05/30/2010

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Hi Cheryl, My son is 20 and you never stop worrying. Here the drinking age is 21, but when he turned 18 , at midnight, he drove to Walmart, bought a pack of cigarettes and 3 lottery tickets... Gave the cigs away, he doesn't smoke, and didn't win anything on the tickets, (they are still on my fridge)
That day he also flew to England for an "adventure". On the flight, the drinking age goes to 18 over international waters, he called me and asked permission to have a glass of wine. I got a text back from him saying, "I don't like red wine"
So what I am saying, is when they can, they will try, and hopefully learn that it isn't all that people say it is. Watch him for intoxicated behavior and let him know you love him and only want him to be safe...
Your a ggod person to have the instinct to ask where everyone is on this... Keep it up!!

Debbie - posted on 05/30/2010

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How is ur son buying beer? Here the law is 21. This is normal when kids turn of age to buy beer. I wouldn't worry unless hes getting drunk everyday. Ask urself is he's has class's does he go? If he has a job does he show up everytime? If not than it's time to worry.



I work in a bar n I can't tell u how many young adults drink soooo much.

Annie - posted on 05/30/2010

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You never stop worrying, my son was 16 when he started drinking, it lead to alot of bad stuff, he is 22 now and about 3 years ago he finally got it together.

My daughter is 31 and I still worry about her, not sure if it is because I am a worrier, or just being a mom!

Gail - posted on 05/29/2010

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oh yea my son is the same way he's 19 ,i know they learn from experience but drinking at a young age may lead to further problems my son has lost 2 friends to aclchol related accidents

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