Do you feel guilty being over 40 with a 2 years old?

Terri - posted on 02/22/2010

Those pangs come sometimes, but I figure I am just wasting time worrying about it, I thought of the younger Mommies and I can see them having some faults too with maturity issues! I made myself a promise when I was able to get pregnant at 41 that I would always put in 110 % at staying young at heart and that counts the most!

Kathy - posted on 02/17/2010

What to be guilty for? I have two wonderful boys. I just take each day as it comes. And remember that each day is a gift. I have two friends who were raised by their grandparents because their parent died at a very young age. So all that really matters is that you be a positive force in their life. My parents will soon be in their eighties and my kids have known their grandparents for longer than I knew mine and my parents were almost 10 years younger when I was born. Life does not give any quarentees

Lisa - posted on 02/16/2010

Try not to live with "what if", live in the present! That is what being a Mom is - a gift! You focus on being the best Mom you can possibly be, no matter how long that lasts! Enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast! Hope this helps! It made me feel better about my own situation just writting these thoughts. Here's to living to 100!!!

Kerry - posted on 02/16/2010

I am 53 and my husband is 56, we have three biological children 30, 27 and 24. We also have adopted six children who are now, twin girls 9, and another girl born on the same day as the twin, it is like having triplets! A 7 year old girl, a 7 year old boy and the baby of the family a little girl now 4!!! I love it all and do not feel guilty at all, two of my adopted children have autism and they all have some kind of special education needs. My big ones love the little ones too!

Frances - posted on 02/16/2010

Why should you feel guilty for bringing a beautiful baby into the world...I am 45 and my daughter is 15 months old...my husband (her father) is 15 years older than me...we are intent on enjoying every day, and not worrying about what might happen 20 years or so down the line. Give your child the best start you can, that's much more important. Make them a strong person, able to cope with anything life throws at them

Teresa - posted on 02/16/2010

I know how you feel! If you have older children, let them know that they need each other and to stick together no matter what! I will be 60 when mine turns 18! My girls are 17 and 13 months! It's a fear I've considered, but put to the side and enjoy OUR LIVES NOW! We could think that something could possibly happen to us early in life when we had our younger children at a younger age! Live Laugh Love!

Lisa - posted on 02/15/2010

I have found that small children keep you young! My youngest was born when I was 41. It is a little different than young parents but we have so much to share. And just think, we can use our IRAs for college.. ;} Have Love. Be proud of your family and ever day will be special. There are many teenagers with parents right now that are not lucky enough to have those kind of lessons.

Corrina - posted on 02/15/2010

im 47 and my bioys are almost 28, 22 and 13 my daughter is 5...we had been married for almost 4 years when i became pregant and it really cought us off guard. we kind of figured that a child wasnt in the cards because of my age. ive never felt guilty about our pigtail baby and i think she helps keep me young at heart. everyone who matters thinks its cool that my daughter had a niece who was 2 1/2 when she was born and we do too! i do get tired of the people who tell me "oh better you then me" and to those people ya i guess its probably right!

Heidi - posted on 02/15/2010

I've been told by someone (married into a family with 6 kids, then when they were out of the house, started another family of 3 through adoption in her late 40s) that the benefit of youth is energy; the benefit of being older is wisdom (so you don't need to be chasing after kids all the time). I think there's something to that. My own mom had her last (surprize) baby at 44 and she's just as involved in his life as she was with the rest of us. Just keep yourself in good health and in a good frame of mind. Celebrate the priviledge of motherhood at whatever age!

Thelma - posted on 02/15/2010

Hi i just had a read of your story .I am 47 with a three and half year old she is the love of my life, I also have three older boys 28,24,22, sometime I to feel like you do but I know that my 22 year old son will take my little girl he allmost love her as much as, I was 44 when my doughter come along it was like bringing up anather family.Take care

Charlene - posted on 02/14/2010

I felt guilty for having a child when I had grandchildren. I was 42 when I had my youngest daughter and I love her so much. I could not imagine life without her. Her youngest sibling is 18 years from her. I know my sister in law lost her mom when she was 15. Her mom died at 44. Only God knows. Just love that little one with all your heart.

Rochelle - posted on 02/14/2010

Oops I meant 2 year old son not 4.

Rochelle - posted on 02/14/2010

No one can predict the future. My mom had me at 30 and died at 39 of cancer. My grandmother had kids well into her 40s and lived to be 95 so no I do NOT feel guilty that I am 47 and have a healthy 4 year old son. On the other hand I feel very blessed that I was able to have a healthy baby at 45. He is a gift from God so I am going to enjoy him and take the best care of myself that I can. I married late (not by choice) and did not want to have s]children out of wedlock just for the sake of having children early So I say why worry about stuff I had no control over. If God gave me the child he will give me the strength and grace to raise him no matter how long I have. People in their 20s and 30s also die unexpectedly and leave youn children behind. I was only 9 when my mom died at age 39. I refuse to live my life with regret and worrying about what I am robbing my child of and what could happen.

Tracey - posted on 02/13/2010

no and why should i!

Rita - posted on 02/13/2010

No guilt feelings, they serve no purpose but to bring you down. There is no reason to feel guilty. I had my son at 40, and became disabled at 47. I am now 52.. My son, along with my husband and I, have so much fun living life to the fullest everyday. I have surrounded him with good family, aunts, grandmothers ,good friends, and give him unconditional love every day. Do I worry about dying and leaving him? Yes , I use to. But I know now that I gave and continue to give him all the love and building good memories with him as much as I can. Good morals and values have been taught to him. On some level though, we have to let go. because one day, our sons will become men , with choices.. and we cant, whether living or not, be responsible for the choices they make in life. I would concentrate on loving him, teaching him and enjoying every single day you have with him.

Pam - posted on 02/13/2010

I am 50 years old with a 5 and 12 year old. No I don't feel guilty about being this young. I enjoy every minute as if it was my last. I don't feel my age at all. It's just a number. I know I won't be around for ever but no one knows when it is there time to leave this place. Just forget about how young you are and live and enjoy the little ones.

Eleanor - posted on 02/13/2010

I already sent you a message but I totally agree with sheri Hollinger, ENJOY YOUR TIME TOGETHER !!!!!!!!!!

Sheri - posted on 02/13/2010

I do not feel guilty... are you kidding? ;^) How much more my youngest ones get from me... more knowledge, patience, gentleness, ... as I have gotten older, I have slowed down in a good way. Younger mom years were such a blur of do this, do that, rush, rush, rush... I feel sad thinking how fast it has gone w/ my older ones, and that I didn't embrace the little moments more than I did!
I am 43, and my kids are ds 21, ds 16, ds 12, dd 8, ds 5, ds 1...and we are pondering about having another....
Smile, and enjoy the blessing...
~Sheri

Maria - posted on 02/13/2010

My mum was an older mum at 37 and I am now 41 with an 8 year old and a 5 year old and she is still around telling me(and them-everyone really) what to do.
My husbands mum was much younger but we lost her when he was 23(R.I.P.). There are no guarantees in this world- love your boy.yourself and your life. Age really is just a number.
Funny story reference age. I got to know this woman to chat to outside school while waiting for our 4 year olds and one day I said to her son. 'Hurry up mummy is calling you'. I'm not mum she said I'm Gran. (at 38 she was 2 years younger than me :-] )

Tracie - posted on 02/12/2010

Your not robbing you son of anything. My mom was 37, and my dad was 40 when I was born. To top it off, my sister just turned 18 years old 11 days before I was born. 4 months later she had a huge wedding and I got more attention then she did,lol Remember, you'll most likly live well into your 80's and get to enjoy a few grandkids along the way. I hope this helps.

Kim - posted on 02/11/2010

I think any age is okay as long as your health is in good standing order. Many families out there have multiple marriages due to divorce and some do start over. My father in law divorced and had 2 more kids when his two older ones were already in their 20's. All 4 are now adults and get a long great. I am only 48 and wished i have had a child in my later yrs. I started early and now i sit wishing there was just 1 more kid at home, lol. Good luck, take each day as it comes and don't sweat over this issue. Anyone can die at any age, young or old so don't look at this situation like you do. Enjoy your time!

Mary - posted on 02/11/2010

God gives us children when and how he chooses. All we can do is be the best mothers we can TODAY and prepare for our children's futures if we should happen to leave them.....which can happen with any age mother.

Terri - posted on 02/11/2010

I don't feel guilty but sometimes I am sad. I have 19 and 15 yr old boys and I'm 41, I also have a two year old little girl and we are trying to get pregnant again. I feel sad to think about what I will more than likely get to see in my boy's lives and what I'll probably miss in my daughters. I just can't think too much or I get really sad. I also sometimes think that I'm at an age where more health issues happen and what if I got cancer, I never thought like with the boys. I just tell myself that God is in control and he didn't bless me with this beautiful little girl and the life of my dreams just to take it from me. He is good and we just have to have faith that He will care and provide for us and our little ones!!

Angela - posted on 02/11/2010

I agree with Flores, no one can predict the future, we just prepare. You were given your son later in life for a reason. I had my first when I was 21 years old and my second when I was 38. I am now 45 and would love to have another. Our children are a gift and the Greater Powers know what we all need in our lives. You may live to 100 years old and then he will be 64 years old!

T W - posted on 02/11/2010

Take one day at a time, you can't predict the future but you can prepare for it. Decide who would be a good guardian for him, ask them if they will take on the task. Discuss this with your son, so he will be prepared too. But don't dwell on what might be, enjoy each day with him.