do you think its ok for a grandma to tell granddaughter that she doesnt like other grandmother

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Vaunda - posted on 01/11/2010

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i think children need "positive" love and guidance ALL the time...Negative is "exactly" that; the negative, bad vibes, feelings, opinions does nothing but harm and rob children of the happiness that they deserve. You should always avoid "negative comments, situations, opinions. The old saying; "Would you want someone saying that to you" is perfect for this situation.......Would you want the other grandma telling your granddaughter evil/negative thoughts about you????

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Mimi - posted on 07/11/2011

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my reply is NO! The grandchildren need to decide who they love or don't. Your saying that you don't like the other grandmother may only cause a rift between you and your grandchildren! I say better to suck it up instead of risking losing the relationship you now have with your granddaughter! Just my opinion! And, Teresa, knowing that you are the injured party, my only advice or suggestion is to pray for this other grandma, that God will open her eyes to the harm she is doing to your mutual granddaughter, and for your granddaughter, that she will see the light, and I am sure she does! If not, she would not have said anything to you! Prayers for you and your situation!

Mary - posted on 07/09/2011

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NO I DONT THINK ITS RIGHT TO PUT A CHILD IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS SITUATION IT PUTS IDEAS IN THEIR HEAD ABOUT PICKING OUT THINGS ABOUT OTHERS AND CAUSING UNNEEDED DISLIKE FOR SOME THEY PROBABLY LOVE

Steffanie - posted on 07/09/2011

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No, it is not okay for a grandmother to tell her twelve year old grandchild that she doesn't like the other grandmother. I would let the grandmother know this is not acceptable behavior, and will not be tolerated. Children have the right to make their own opinions of their grandparents, and enjoy both sides.

Angela - posted on 07/05/2011

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I have one grandchild. My ex-husband died a couple of years ago and never got to know our granddaughter. I was not entirely thrilled that my son decided to make his father's widow "Grandma" to the baby but I said nothing. I wanted my husband to be "Granddad" and he's obviously only a step-grandparent himself!! I don't know the other Grandma (the child's mother's mother) as she lives in another country. So this little one has 3 Grandmas and 2 Granddads (one of them being my husband!).

I don't say anything negative about either of the other Grandmas or about the other Granddad - why should I? I just consider that my granddaughter is lucky to have 5 grandparents!

If one grandmother doesn't like the other one, she doesn't have to have any contact with this lady. She shouldn't be putting her grandchild (or even the child's parents) in the position of discomfort simply because she doesn't like her.

Annette - posted on 01/25/2010

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I have 7 grands. Thst is totally wrong. However, you should know that children are not stupid...Do not fall into her issues...Just make your time with your grandkids positive. Don't make them feel uncomfortable or pressured around you by saying negative things about someone they love...kids will see the truth.

Myriam - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi Teresa, I know is very wrong for a child to be placed in the middle of another human being who is selfish. That person has to realize that this child is being made to feel guilty to love that grandmother, regardless of how she may think. This to me is emotional and mental abuse. The parent of this child should not allow such behavior to destroy a beautiful relationship between grandparents. Adults should not put children in the middle of their feud. They hve enough to worry about around them, specially these days. I pray that the parents realize this and deal with this issue in a correct, stern but respectful way. We have to keep the peace for these precious children! I wish you the best and peace! = )

Joan - posted on 01/18/2010

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Yes and no. It is good to let your grand child know that not all people get along with each other but to always be respectful regardless if you like them or not. I think it all depends on how this subject is discussed with the grand child

Jacky - posted on 01/18/2010

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Oh Teresa your right I think everyone has interpreted your question not realising that you are in fact the injured party so to speak. If I was you I would approach the Grandmother and find out why she has been so nasty and speak to the childs parents to find out what on earth is going on. Hope it all works out for you.

GAYLE - posted on 01/18/2010

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I don't think it is ok to tell a grandchild nasty things about another grandma as it gives the child the wrong impression and they will learn that it is ok to be nasty about other people. Families should stick together and not bring the kids into their disputes. Apart from the fact it will confuse the child and they won't be able to look at the grandma in the same way. Keep your opinions to yourself in front of the little one as she don't need to know how you feel. Just stay away from the other granny. Easy!

Christine - posted on 01/17/2010

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NO NOT AT ALL. That's a dreadful thing to put onto the grandchild. The grandchild will make up her own mind about who is nice or otherwise.

Glenda - posted on 01/17/2010

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You should never try to make a child choose between one grandparent and another. If you don't like the other grandmother, then you should keep that information to yourself and not put that burden on the child.

Christine - posted on 01/17/2010

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NO....as all children are the innocent part of any relationship, or family, they should never be put in the middle of adult problems, im a ferm believer that some things should be kept away from the kids..

Lyndi - posted on 01/17/2010

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No. Whether she likes her or not, she needs to be respectful and show kindness to her granddaughter's other grandmother. It will backfire in the end, if Grandma #1 talks unkindly about Grandma #2. It will come across that Grandma #1 is judgmental and jealous. They certainly don't have to be friends, but they need to speak kindly of one another.

Jacky - posted on 01/17/2010

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Why would you want to put that burden on your Granddaughter, everytime she see's her other Grandmother she is going to be thinking how her Grandma does'nt like her. It is unfair pressure on one so young.

Teresa - posted on 01/16/2010

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think some are reading my queston wrong , im the grandma asking because the other grandma told my granddaughter not to anwser the phone when i call, i asked her why, she said cause she doesnt like you. and doesnt wont her to go to my house . and my jaw dropped. i believe this is wrong for her to tell my granddaughter this . im wonderful grandmother love my grandchildren dearly and have never ever said anything to none of my grandkids like that if i have difference keep to my self or to my piors if i need advise ori vent to my bessest friend, if i have to so i hope you read my question right thank you for responding

[deleted account]

If you really have to ask this question.....maybe you should not be spending time around your grand children.......

Julie - posted on 01/16/2010

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my experience a little different, but ...... my paternal grandmother didn't like my mom for many years.....wasn't the nicest to my mom for many years. when did i learn this....when i was 16- 9 yrs after my grandmother died. we lived next door to my grandparents. My mom said it wasn't right to deny me a possibly great relationship...so she never said anything untili i was older. My grandparents had realized their misjudgement of my mom, but .... i am SO THANKFUL that my mom didn't spoil it for me and my grandparents... so I now find myself in the same predicament - and i don't bad mouth my monster-in-law.....becuz she is my daughter's grandmother. people are different w/ different people. maybe the other grandmother might not thrill you, but maybe she's great w/ your grandchild. don't deny them that.

Sharon - posted on 01/16/2010

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To answer the original posted question, I would say "No" - The grandchild needs to have their own relationship with their grandparents.

Tammy - posted on 01/16/2010

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I think it would depend on how old the grandchild is. If she is old enough then you can explain that it is your opinion, and just because you do not like the other grandma does not mean that she does not have to follow you. That she too can have her own opinion.

Pam - posted on 01/16/2010

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No, I don't think you should tell her your feelings toward the other grandmother because it will cause confusion for her...because she loves both of you and by you telling her that it's almost like your asking her to choose you or the other. It would probably hurt her feelings to know you didn't like the other grandmother. Please dont' say anything. :)

[deleted account]

No! Because this will cause the grandchild to think the other grandparent is a bad person. Eventually the child will think they have to not like the other grandparent,in order to please this grandparent. Much like when there is a divorce,many children feel like they have to dislike the absent parent.

Carol - posted on 01/16/2010

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NO WAY! Just because you donot like the other grandmother does not give you the right to place bad thoughts in your grandchilds head - Please for your grandchilds sake - keep those negative comments to yourself and out of his/her ears - how would you feel if the other grandparent did this?

Patricia - posted on 01/16/2010

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No. How would you feel if the other g-ma did that. G-daughter shouldn't be put in the middle of issues between g-parents. I learned that in grade school. Just cuz someone doesn't like someone that's between them.

[deleted account]

frankly I would not let the child spend any (much) time with the grandmother that did it. Even if it was my own mother. Everyone's job is to protect the child. If I was her/his mother I would limit their time around that person.

Ann - posted on 01/16/2010

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NO NEVER. I don't think it is right to voice your opinions about another adult onto young children - children will make up their own minds.

Kathy - posted on 01/15/2010

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No. Never. You should play nice with the other Grandma and hide your disapproval

Esther - posted on 01/15/2010

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Absolutely not...a child should not have to worrie about saying anything special about one grandparent to another grandparent...they are both different and unique...they should keep thir feeling about each other to themselves

Debbie - posted on 01/15/2010

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No adults do not need to include children in their pettiness and dislikes of other family members

Theresa - posted on 01/15/2010

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No it is definitely not ok, especially if the child is closer to the grandmother that said it or if she just spends more time with her, because then the child may decide to feel the same way about the other grandmother. That's is a terrible thing to do to a child.

La Deann - posted on 01/14/2010

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No, I dont think it is okay for a grand parent to invove a child in an adult dispute. Youshould keep your opinions to yourself. Because if a child starts to dislike the other grandparent because of what you have said is unfair. I believe a child should be kept out of adult chaos.

Alison - posted on 01/14/2010

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Are you for real? Why would you intentionally want to hurt your grandaughter by telling her you dont like her Grandmother. You may as well tell her that there is no Santa or Easter Bunny whilst your at it. Shame on you.

Kim - posted on 01/14/2010

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I don't think that children should have to deal with adult situations. At the most, I might say that you and the other grandma don't see eye to eye, but that she should love her other grandmother as I am sure she does. Just don't saddle her with your burden.

Cindy - posted on 01/14/2010

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One more thing. If you think I am passionate about this I am. There is nothing worse that a 7 yr old coming up to you and saying "My Maaie Hates You and I want to know why." What a spot to be put in. As much as I love my son/daughter-in-law, granddaughter and grandson I am glad that they live a days drive away. That way they aren't put in the middle of having to chose where they are going. It is so UNFAIR especially to them. And to the grandma stuck in the middle when you have no idea what the problem is.

Cindy - posted on 01/14/2010

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NO but unfortunately I live with that situation. For a reason I don't know the grandmother of my oldest granddaughter doesn't like me. My granddaughter is 7 1/2 and the light of my life. I hurts me so much whent she tells me that "mammie" doesn't like me and wants to know why. I have no answer for her but it hurts my granddaughter. SHe has told me that she wishes that her "mammie" liked mad and wants to know if I like Mammie. I always say yes because i did(do). I wish I knew why she is so angry with me. I love my daughter-in-law and my grandkids so much. "Mammie" will not tell my son/daughter-in-law what we did that made her so mad and won't talk to me at all. It is so bad that if my granddaughter is in town visiting for the summer, I cannot even go and pick her up. Mammie will take her to my mom and I can get her then. Talk about putting a child in the middle.

I am not sure if you asking if it is ok to tell her that you don't like her other Grandma or of your granddaughter is being told that the other grandma doesn't like her Grandma. but it is NOT OKAY. Please don't put the granddaughter in the middle. It is so UNFAIR and makes me so angry. You are both her grandma's and she has the right to love you both. It is not a competion for her love. SHe can and does love you both as well she should.

Sarah - posted on 01/14/2010

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definatly not she is going to snitch, and it will make her very uncomfortable when she is around the other grandna

Joan - posted on 01/14/2010

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hell no, keep it to yourself, no good can come from it. You might find yourself on the outside looking in.

Anne - posted on 01/14/2010

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Definately not!What are we back in grade school or what?The child should have the right to his/her own opinion just as you did.Children don't need to deal with that stuff at home they have enough to deal with at school and just growing up themselves.Get a grip and get over it and what do you expect to achieve by doing this?I think it is either a jealousy thing or a selfish act and there is no need for it.Think positive and treat others as you would want to be treated.

[deleted account]

Definitely not! Why would you ever think of saying something like that! Think and feel what you want....but best to keep it to yourself!

Kim - posted on 01/14/2010

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no that is information to keep to yourself the child will make up her own mind as she grows your the adult deal with the dislike but don't drag children into it

Barb - posted on 01/14/2010

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OMG r u 4 real ??? Why would anyone want to put that on a child ??? They do not need to know that u do not like the OTHER GRANDMA !!! Just be the best grandma u can be and ur grandchild will do the rest !!!!

Susan - posted on 01/13/2010

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I think all grandparents should work together like one big happy family so should the aunts an uncles.An if there is a riff in the family then they should all sit down an talk an have a open talk an no one should dislike any one.

Teresa - posted on 01/13/2010

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No! There is no need to put a child in the middle of adult drama. She loves you both and it will only make her feel as though she needs to take sides.

Ginger - posted on 01/13/2010

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No, I don't think it is ok. Because whether the grandmothers like each other is not the granddaughter's problem. She shouldn't be made to feel guilty because she loves both of her grandmothers.

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