Empty Nest.......sort of.......

Donna - posted on 10/07/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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Hey all you Mom's out there that are empty nesters or almost empy nesters, what does it feel like?

Do your grown kids keep coming back?

Let us know how you feel.

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Debbie - posted on 06/02/2011

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I was just told the day after Mothers Day, 2011, that my daughter is moving to her dads house. I have so many mixed emotions. I can certainly understand her wanting to be closer to work, college and some of her friends, especially with gas prices. I think alot of the problem I'm having is that she seems to be cutting ties with me. She doesn't tell me anything, not when she is moving, or even when she stays with him now when she is coming home. She treats me like it is none of my business and just roams in and out. The thing that really huirts is I have been the one here for her the past 21 years, shes always had visitation with her dad when she was growing up, and somehow I had a sense that they may be "friends" one day, but this really does hurt. I can also understand the whole "I'm 21 and I have my own life now" The anxiety, fear, guilt absolutely kills, especially with her non-communication, or a comment like "I'm having dinner with Barb." his wife. How is a 48 year old suppose to work through all this. I have to be honest, 4 years ago, my eldest daughter passed away, I admitted to my daughter that over the past couple of weeks I have had time tio think and have realized that I used her to fill that void. She said "don't worry about it" but I do. Than there is the ole, she refuses me on her facebook account, but her dad and wife both are on it. I'm trying to let go, but this is so hard,

Sheila - posted on 04/04/2011

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Wow it certainly isn't all its cracked up to be that is for sure. After my youngest left home I got very depressed. Sure it was ok the first couple of weeks or so but then the quietness and the house being empty was alot all at once. I mean you have to let your kids go so they can grow and find their own place in this world just didn't realize it was going to be this hard. I do have grandchildren and we all live relatively close, but they do have their lives now and I don't expect them to come over all the time to see me. I am medically disabled so there is only so much I can do in a day, before I go stir crazy..lol We are not in a place were we can travel financially. My husband is having to work since I can't when he should be retired..ugh life isn't fair is it. I miss my house being noisey and the kiddos being around, even though I worked now that I don't its just different. But I will say its not a walk in the park to let them go. Once a Mom always a mom and maybe its' just a mom thing I don't know. But I do look forward to them coming over to visit and my grandbabies too..:) Nice to know that I am not crazy and other women have a hard time with it too..:) God bless

Cindy - posted on 04/04/2011

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Hi Carol,
I'm in the same boat with you. It is hard. But you learn ways to deal with it and move on. Life isn't always as we expect it to turn out. But we can make the best of what is going on, always. Thank you for your post.

Kristie - posted on 04/03/2011

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I moved to WV from Ca five years ago with my three kids, their ages now are 20, 17, and 16, at different times my two oldest kids have each moves back to Ca once to live with their dad. After short stays they both came back to live with me, my 20 yr old daughter has been out of the house for a few years adn I'm dealing with that really well, well my 17 yrs old son has just told me he wants to moved back to Ca for good this time. I am totally and utterly devastated. I became a mom at a young age (I'm 39) and my kids are my entire life! We talk about everything going on at school and in thier lives everday we are very close. I had this sream or vision that my two kids left at home wold live with me while they went to college them move out but not far away..My son will leave when school get out in June and he will do his senior year in high school in Ca. I am already having thoughts like what will I do without him when the seasons change since he loves that, and what will I do whe it comes time to decorate the Christmas tree..His absolute favorite this in the world..I'm not sure what I'm going to do without him around everyday....

Kristie - posted on 04/03/2011

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I moved to WV from Ca five years ago with my three kids, their ages now are 20, 17, and 16, at different times my two oldest kids have each moves back to Ca once to live with their dad. After short stays they both came back to live with me, my 20 yr old daughter has been out of the house for a few years adn I'm dealing with that really well, well my 17 yrs old son has just told me he wants to moved back to Ca for good this time. I am totally and utterly devastated. I became a mom at a young age (I'm 39) and my kids are my entire life! We talk about everything going on at school and in thier lives everday we are very close. I had this sream or vision that my two kids left at home wold live with me while they went to college them move out but not far away..My son will leave when school get out in June and he will do his senior year in high school in Ca. I am already having thoughts like what will I do without him when the seasons change since he loves that, and what will I do whe it comes time to decorate the Christmas tree..His absolute favorite this in the world..I'm not sure what I'm going to do without him around everyday....

Renee - posted on 10/12/2009

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Hi I sort of have an empty nest...I am the proud mother of five beautiful and loving daughters the oldest being 25 and the youngest being 7 (yea' your reading right). My four older daughters (twins 21 and one 19) are all living in their own places through out the city and my little one loves to go and visit with her sisters and I hate it. Because when she's gone I am so lonely. I have to put on a big smile when she leaves and she always tells me she loves me, and I tell her I love her and that I am going to miss her. I remember when my four other daughters were young, the house was filled with their friends, with them fighting, with them laughing, but now when they are all gone,,,,,it is to quiet and I am so lonely. But she'll be home tomorrow, hooray...........

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I am an empty nester, Our daughter is 22 ,we recently moved to another state tweleve hundred miles away from her and it is very hard to be this far away. I do get depressed and worrie about her all the time it's who I am and that will never change no matter how far away she is. I know that I will always be her Mommy, It's the mother in me.

We knew that she would grow up and leave home one day and become the beautiful young woman she is today.We are so very blessed. She does come to visit often and we cherish the time that she is here but it is very hard to let her get on the plane and go home. I try to keep myself busy with making jewerly or crafts even photography and have also planted a veggie and flower garden just to pass the time and I do find myself going through photo albums of her when she was young and it always brings a smile to my face. It is very hard when our children grow up and leave home all you want to do is cry but we have to be strong for them and let them experience the world just like we did. I always tell my daughter you are the sunshine that falls on my face, the wind that blows through my hair and the rain drops that fall from the heavens above , the sand between my feet when I walk on the beach, you are the air that breath and I will always love you no matter where I am, Love you always always forever and ever Mommy. I write a journal daily to my daughter and tell her what goes on throughout my day and then burn it to a cd or print it and put it in a folder with her name on it. Hope this helps . God bless each and eveyone of us Mom's

Donna - posted on 10/10/2009

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Mine are 20,21,23 and if they are out of a job or something then they want to come back and this is hard for my now husband of one year..who has no kids..he was raised that when you move out you dont go back to moms..but on the other hand we have few younger children that come for the weekends..this is nice..he at times sets up these visits..but I enjoy the empty nest at times ...and i enjoy all my children around. I am gonna be a grandma for the first time in a few weeks..I am so excited...

Joann - posted on 10/10/2009

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I'm an emptynester..and its fantastic...my husband and I joined a leisure group and now we have the best ever social life..we actually crave for quiet time...lol...but life is great...our baby is planning her wedding for next year..our oldest has 6 kids...and our son lives in another state...but we see them all occasionally...yes they do keep coming back..the secret is to either move and don't tell them or change the locks....just kidding...even when they move out and grow up you still worry about them...they will always be the kids...and I love them very much..but I'm their mum so i can...

Vicky - posted on 10/09/2009

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I've got a special needs daughter, age 21, so I should almost be an empty nester, but I'm not and probably won't be for a long time. My sister-in-law had kids return for almost ten years after the empty nest and now she has grandkids all the time. I'm not much help I guess but yes the kids may keep returning for up to seven years or more if my friend in the know is correct so I suppose enjoy them, set limits because it's your house, and take time to enjoy your freedom when you can. We deserve it.

Diana - posted on 10/09/2009

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I am an empty nester...It felt good up until 3 weeks ago . My son returned from Kansas and it is good to have him back home. He tells me that he is here only until he finds a job. He has an interview on Oct. 17th. He just graduated with his masters in Social Work.

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I have 3 sons, 1 college grad, one in college and a junior in high school. I miss my older guys alot (they are 2 hrs away) but we talk almost everyday and get together as much as possible. My 17 year old is on the go most of the time, so...I have a hard time with the quiet! I'm sure I'll be okay but I sure miss the laughter and the craziness everyday.

Kim - posted on 10/08/2009

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Empty nest hit me so hard I got terribly depressed. I am a mom, that is what I do and I am good at it. My hubby and I went to foster parenting classes and now have a home always full of children who really need a good home. We have already adopted one child and may another in the future.

Vanessa - posted on 10/08/2009

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Even though one of mine has there own house they are here a lot. And one is in college and stills at home. then one in High school....I seem to have less time and do more cleaning then when they were little... heee, hee. bigger people bigger messes. not sure if i blessed or cursed, Lol.

Carmen - posted on 10/08/2009

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I am empty nest. I feel bad... sort of "nobody wants me" If I call my kids, or visit them, after a while I am a pest. I have 4 children ( 30, 28 , 22 and the one who just left me 17). I don't work. I am on internet all day long... kind of hook to what it is going on around their lives. reading their town newspapers, watching the forecast of their areas.. I don't know what to do ... It still hurts.

Diane - posted on 10/08/2009

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I'm somewhat of an empty nester. Have 2 older children ages 24 and 22 but still have a 12 year old at home. We're going through some attitude issues right now, so I'm eager for her to reach 18 and start college. lol I know this will get better eventually, it's just the disrespect is really something I don't tolerate well.

I wish I were closer with my other girls. We are now 1200 miles apart. But we still talk over the phone and visits are planned. In fact, I am planning a visit to see my oldest in December. She is due on Christmas day and wants me there for the delivery. It is special knowing you are still important in their lives, and also feel great seeing them achieve life goals and become successful and know you were an integral part of them getting there.

Connie - posted on 10/07/2009

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We were empty nesters for four years or so, then our twin grandchildren needed a home so we took them in 3.5 years ago. Now we have their 3 yr old sister and 15 mos old brother as foster children. Enjoy the empty nest when it happens!

Cheryl - posted on 10/07/2009

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My almost new husband (we've been married 3 yrs) and I thought we were going to be kid free and on easy street. Unfortunately, my youngest son had to move in with us after his father's health went down hill, and then my middle son moved in because he can't find a job. It's almost like having preschoolers again!. My sons are 19 and 25. Youngest is in college, so I can't complain too much.
I wish i were an empty nester.

Carol - posted on 10/07/2009

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It's always hard when your kids leave home. But in my case they were married and chose to live in other cities than I do,because of their jobs. I have learned to exept this and because of my children's choices I have I make everey attempt to make contact with them. They are my family and I will do everything to keep this conectiion with my children and grandchildren.

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