Empty nest syndrome

User - posted on 03/31/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I was done raising my biological children by age 40. I got empty nest quick. I am now an adoptive and foster parent. I have too many kids to name:-) Anybody else get empty nest after their kids were raised?

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Nancy - posted on 04/24/2010

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Tina, I felt the same way after our youngest moved away for college. The first couple of days, I put the radio and TV on because the house was quiet. Then it struck me that the house was quiet, and I smiled! I can be in a room, leave it, and walk back in - and it looks the same!

I miss having my kids living at home, but between calls and talking on the computer, we talk almost every day - even for just a few minutes. I've taken a few courses at school, and my husband and I have started doing day trips around the area, golfing, and spending time together - something we haven't had the chance or time to do in years! Enjoy it, and know that you've done your job in raising an independent, great person!

Natalie - posted on 04/20/2010

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my empty nest went away too by becoming a pre-adoption foster mum,and always a happy ending .

Sharli - posted on 04/15/2010

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Yea, but it didn't last very long. lol All of my kids and 6 grandchildren live really close, though. I see them a lot and speak to them every day.

Tina - posted on 04/14/2010

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My son is leaving for college in a few months, and I'm really scared about the empty nest. I did decide to go back to school, adn my husband is retaking up some hobbies. I can't imagine live with out my son, how long will it take to get use to the "empty" house?

Patti - posted on 04/14/2010

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oh yes! however I have been blessed with 10 wonderful grandchildren and the PLEASURE of raising one of them. She has filled our home and lives with such joy.

Sherri Lynn - posted on 04/13/2010

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"Empty Nest" is awesome ! Trying to enjoy every minute! Because I heard they come come back multiplied ! L O L
No, seriously, I started having kids pretty young so I consider myself a young G-ma now . It's weird not having all the delightful chattering & arguing of my children/teens around now, but, we are all close & stay in touch often. I sometimes find silence to be annoying & have to turn on t v or music to fill the gap, oh geeze I'm gonna cry! L OL Just thinking about the old days makes me miss them super bunches! If your reading this children, I love you very much!!!!!!!!!

[deleted account]

Thanks Angie, not the first time I've heard that, so maybe it's the thing to do!!! I think a lot of it, is because he grew up with me being sick, and he's just trying to find himself instead of being moms helper all the time!!! I can handle that, it's just hard to think he doesn't want to spend time with me now, we were so close!!! I feel totally left out of his life!!!! i guess it doesn't help that his gf isn't a big family person, and has nothing good to say about her family. it's like pulling teeth to get them to come to a family function. he does it out of obligation, not because he wants to be with everyone. Thanks .

Angie - posted on 04/13/2010

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I guess i'm one of the lucky ones. I hear from both my kids at least twice a day. They keep me up to date on every aspect of their lives. I see my son almost every day. This is mainly because of his mental disorder and he needs me as his sounding board. Although I would prefer he be able to live the normal life of a twenty year old, I enjoy these exchanges between us and feel that in many ways his disorders are a blessing. I know that sounds bad but we have such a special relationship because of them(disorders). I also have a very close relationship with my daughter. She is planning her wedding right now and she calls twice a day to keep me informed. She just moved out 6 weeks ago so I am still adjusting to that but hearing from her so often makes it easier. I guess I would just say to give him the freedom he needs right now. Eventually he will grow to appreciate everything you have done for him and be grateful.

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My son moved out 2 years ago and i have found a new lease on life. I started making jewelry for fun, and now am trying to turn it into a business. Although, i suffer with many disabling illnesses, i try to keep myself busy as much as possible. With the jewelry and decluttering my house of all the things i don't need anymore, i do keep pretty busy most of the time. Friends help, when we can get together and have some fun, that's always a good distraction. The problem I have now, is getting him to call or come over to visit. Not to mention, most of his stuff is still a my house, and in my way, and he won't come and retrieve it or go thru it and discard of anything. Can't even get him to come and do a few things for me now and then........ so once he left, that was it for me. It's like i don't exist unless he needs me for something.. Like now, he is using my car for a while , i am recuperating from a torn ligament and badly sprained ankle. I am wearing a boot so i can't drive. Yes, i know he needs a car, and i don't mind him borrowing mine, when i can't use it, but it comes back dirty, even after he promises to detail it for me before bringing it home. He just got a job, after being out of work for 2 years, so i don't mind him using it for that, but if he's gonna leave me and not even want to come back to visit.... why can't he do for himself, instead of expecting me to do for him even now.................. any suggestions????

Marliss - posted on 04/08/2010

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Something aweful! I miss my kids so much. My days seem to drag on. I have 6 kids and cant seem to see my grandbabies enough.

Angie - posted on 04/06/2010

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Since my son has mental health issues that make it diificult for him to leave the house, our house was the place his friends hung out. I loved being "mom" to all these wonderful kids. One by one, as they all got older, I lost daily contact with most of them. Then last month my daughter moved out too. Now they are all gone and I can't help but feel a little empty. I'm beginning to enjoy certain things about having an empty nest but I still get sad sometimes when I think about my other llife and how much I enjoyed having a houseful to cook dinner for and bake cookies for. Now I just have to wait for grandma time.

Karen - posted on 04/06/2010

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wow.....i was thinking of being a foster parent also.....just don't have time for the classes in the evening. They should offer them on the weekends but havent found any yet. Good luck!

Julie - posted on 04/05/2010

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Yes I did exactly the same thing our biological daughter was raised by the time I was 38. We took in foster children and adopted 2 of them they are biological brother and sister they were 4yrs and 7 months when we got them and are 5 and 9 now and I wouldnt want anything else they keep me movin and thats a good thing I am now 51.

Laurie - posted on 04/05/2010

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I am the mother of 2 beautiful daughters, 27 and 24 and 2 wonderful stepsons 21 and 19. I have 4 grandchildren, what a blessing they are. My oldest and her 2 children, 7 and 2, had lived with me for the last 5 years. Although at times i thought they would drive me crazy the day came for her to move out on her own. All i can say is the "empty nest syndrome" is real. For my daughter and I this will be a great thing, i can already see our relationship improving. But those grandbabies, especially the lil one, she is the spitting image of her mommy at that age and having had her in my home since day one it was like losing my own child. Each day gets a little easier. I go to there place and cook dinner for them once a week. She brings her laundry home to wash :) but I sure do miss those good night hugs and kisses. My youngest is married with her first born having just turned 1. The boys are both in the Marine corps and doing great. I coldnt be prouder of all of them. I remind myself my job as a mother was to teach them to be productive young men and women. As you can see they are, so i tell myself i did my job well. It helps a little bit, but the quiet in the house is unnerving at times. Looking forward to overnight sleepovers at Nana's house where we stay up too late, watch movies and eat too much popcorn :)

Kathy - posted on 04/05/2010

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Oh my Yes! It is hard, but you have to have a change in your thinking... Now it's time for you to do something for you. Maybe find a hobby,volunteer, start "dating" your husband again. It does get better.

Denise - posted on 04/02/2010

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Ok...I thought I was the only one that felt that way! I fougth the urge to adopt by returning to college. I remarried after my youngest completed college and because he didnt have any children we did try for awhile but after a couple of years and no pregancy I decided to return to college for my second degree. Funny but our life style now wouldnt fit for a child. I quess we made life work without.

Wiesie - posted on 03/31/2010

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O YES!!! empty nest is bad. I have 2 kids and they stay now in Johannesburg and I in East Cape thats to far for me, but live goes on

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