Ever been called Grandma when you are not?

[deleted account] ( 55 moms have responded )

I have 5 kids and when I am out with my oldest duaghter, 24, and my 5 year old son, I have been called his Grandma 3 times now! I hope I don't look that old!!!! I need a good comeback.

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[deleted account]

I am just the opposite. I still have kids at home and have grand kids not much younger. My oldest grandchild is 2 years younger than my youngest child. I was 37 when he was born and people always thought he was mine.

Wendi - posted on 01/10/2010

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I once took an old girl friend of my sons under my wing,She had a little girl(not my sons) we were in a store and a lady asked me how being grandma felt well I must have given here a dirty look cause another lady said she may not be grandma.
I think I would have to say " um I'm only 25 " Just to make them feel really low. you do know there are probably enough liknesses between you and your daughter people assume she is your child and he is hers. so you could also take it as a compliment people see you in her. :)

Tammy - posted on 02/27/2014

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I am 49 yrs old and my Husband and I have to boys, the oldest will be 15 yrs old next week and our younger son is 14 yrs old. Three years ago when our Niece had her baby I was there for the birth so when we left the hospital I asked when visiting hours were. They replied for you Grandparents it's the same time as parents! . Tonight I went shopping by myself and I got asked if I was a senior! ! , think I must've given the young girl a certain look because she wasn't long saying sorry!...I don't look that old and I don't dress it either, I wear designer clothes and my hair is always styled like a younger mom as I've been told by many. My Husband and I are always in Harley coats and out riding in the summer. So yeah I have been called a Grandma but you know I didn't mind but to be called a senior. ...that's a little different. ...keep smiling everyone life is to short...

Patricia - posted on 01/23/2010

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I am 44 with a 4 year old (we will both be turning 45 & 5 this June) and yes it has happened to me. I just say, WOW I must look old, I am his Mom not his Grandma. People are always apologetic, they just dont think.

Brandy - posted on 01/15/2010

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I know how you feel! I have 3 children. My oldest, a girl, is 16 but looks older than her age and I have a 13 year old son (by first marriage). Then I have a two year old daughter with second marriage. When I am out with my 16 yr. old and the 2 yr. old at the same time I get called Grandma ALL the time and it makes me want to hit someone. One time while shopping at the Mall in a children's store the sales clerk made the mistake and called me grandma and I put all my purchases back and left the store. Another time at Toys R Us a clerk said something to my little one about "grandma" and I looked at my oldest and said, "Oh, is grandma here?" I don't see her. The clerk apologized profusely and tried to pull her foot out of her mouth the entire time I was in there. She even gave my little one some "free" items, like a change purse and stickers. It was funny to watch her squrim her way out of stupidity!! My theory is that IF aren't sure WHO the grandma or parent is then KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!

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Tammy - posted on 02/27/2014

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Yes I would be hurt as well and I get
looks as well being a 49 yr old and having
two teenage boys people look at me strangely.
But its none of people's buissness. I'm not shy
to say yeah we were one of those couples that
had a hard time concieving and it took us 10 years
to finally become pregnant. So we are blessed to
our boys cause my youngest son and I almost didn't
make it, so I look at people when they say something
like that and I say! Wow !!!! Especially when the kids
Are calling you Mom......like are they having a problem
hearing and understanding that part. Smile at them and
say I'm their proud Mother!! And have a nice day!!! Good luck with everything and don't be so hard on yourself. ....I got been called a Grandma before but here's the good one. I
was asked if I was a senior today!!!....Bet you don't
feel so bad anymore....lol. keep your chin up.

Valerie - posted on 02/24/2014

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I am so glad to have found this thread. My heart has been hurting all day. I am so tired of being referred to as grandma. Yes my twin girls age 7 are young enough to be my grand daughters . I am 52. Our twins are adopted, but gosh it hurts when I am referred to as grandma right in front of my kids. I hurt for them. I do not look THAT old. I never leave the house without makeup and my hair in place, because I don't want to risk these comments. But it happens anyway. Why do people take such liberties. Why assume I am the grandmother, why not the aunt, or babysitter, why assume something that could easily be wrong and offend someone..... ????????

Helene - posted on 03/30/2013

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Been happening to me since my daughter was 3 - now 14! Someone in another post said she responds with "I'm not her grandma just an older mom." I love that one - makes people realize they shouldn't assume anything. xo

Daine - posted on 07/17/2011

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I'm going to be 50 this year and my youngest is 6, everyone always assumes he is the son of one of my daughters ages 20 to 25. But the funniest experience I had was when my oldest son was with me and my youngest and a women assumed we were a couple, that made up for all the grandma comments as my oldest is only 30. Ha Ha, besides I now am a grandma so I can't complain!

Christine - posted on 07/12/2011

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last time this happened to me, i was mortified...it's happened before but this past time was the worst for me. i dwelled on it all day long. i truly believe the woman who asked "are you mom or grandma" was being ugly. but, i just read a blog and because i took it so personally, i believe the next time i asked i'll reply without batting a lash..."i'm not going to respond to that" honestly, i feel it's a question asked by a complete stranger, "when are you due?" if you're NOT pregnant...and if someone isn't certain...why even bother asking? where are peoples manners? i'm 46 with a 3 yr old - some days i feel like i need to post a sign on myself - yes, she is my daughter, no, she wasn't ivf, adopted or a surprise...sigh. i'm athletic, fit, petite/small - i have black hair with gray and i'm NOT going to dye it. i feel put together and good about myself, but when "grandma" comments are made - sometimes i have a comeback and brush it off ...such as, no, grandma's at home and we're off to vist her later...i'm mom, and other times it cuts like a knife and i have to look at it/myself and wonder why i've taken it so personally. anyway...so glad to have found you all! here's to later in life mommies!

Judy - posted on 02/24/2010

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I have gotten the opposite. My daughter had a baby at 16 but without makeup she looked 12. When we would be out with her son people thought they were both mine. Or if I had him out by myself people said I was too young to be a Grandma (I was 41). I told them I was old enough to be grandma but she wasn't old enough to be mom.

Kathleen - posted on 02/24/2010

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people shouldn't assume just becasue you look young or older or ahve large gaps in the kids ages. I would probably be the one to make a smart remark back or just go along with it. It would really depend on my mood at the time.My kids are 16-18-21-23 I have one grandbaby 15 months and another one on the way. I'm 47 but most people don't believe I am as old as I am. My mom always looked young and people aways thought she was my sister, now people think she is the grandma not the great grandma!! of course she gets all excited.

Tracey - posted on 02/24/2010

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Hi my name is Tracey my daughter is 26 and my youngest daughter is 5 and i too have been called nan ,thinking my 5year old is really my grandaughter, this came from a doctor as well i must say i was hurt by this,i am sorry that i dont have a comeback either girls,just the old saying what goes around comes around,karma will....

Shazalina - posted on 01/24/2010

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Hi Pam. Before I am chubby. Now I have the figure I like and hey lots of my friends surprise when they saw me now.

Pam - posted on 01/24/2010

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I too get called grandma! I'm 51 and have two daughters a11 and 9. I started getting gray at the age of 18.

Shazalina - posted on 01/23/2010

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Yes I agree and new mother now looking older but we older mother looks younger. I am going 48 these August but people told I am still single.

Shazalina - posted on 01/23/2010

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Hi Patricia. It am actually a mother of 4 children. My eldest son is now 24, my third son is 15th and my youngest son is now 11 and my daughter is 23. My daughter is married with a 6 months daughter. I always told my daughter to keep fit and looks neat so that she don't look old but she ignore my advice. Now end up I look young and she looks old.

Shazalina - posted on 01/21/2010

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At the age of 47, I became a grandmother after my daughter, my only daughter give birth to a baby girl. She is now 6 months old and I am lucky that where ever I go they always thought that I am not married or when I am with my daughter they thought we are sisters

Donna - posted on 01/21/2010

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Karen Lynn:That happens a lot to us as my daughter is in the Air Force and her kids spend so my time with me and my husband. Her kids wills slip and can me mom and her grandma. It is just a slip of the tonuge. I often slip and call one of her kids by a different grandchilds name or even the name of my grown kids. Don't take it badly.

FRANCES - posted on 01/20/2010

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Oh and I am 45year olds at that.... And now a days mothers are getting younger and younger and new moms are getting older and older and well, so people just assume the wrong thing so just correct them and be done with it.....it's not the end of the world.

FRANCES - posted on 01/20/2010

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Yes, I have been called grandma too. I have a 28 year old son, 15 year old daughter & a 7 year old daughter and 4 year old son....so at times people will say " oh are these you grandchildren, but I also have 5 grandkids at well, so it does not bother me to much I just make sure to point out which are my children and which are my grandchildren. My grand childrens ages are 8, 7, 4, 21 months and 10 months all from my 28 year old son. But I guess it comes with the territory even though I don't think that I look like a grandma as of yet, I love it either way.

[deleted account]

I work in a hospital where we make errors all the time because you just never really know. People come in with all kinds of situations. I don't believe people are trying to be mean or hateful, and if I ever make that mistake with others I hope they aren't mean with me. That would really hurt my feelings too and I can't help what others do. I can only apologize.

Kim - posted on 01/17/2010

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When my 4 year old daughter, my husband and I were out for lunch I was 40 and very pregnant with my last child and an older man came up to us and said how nice it was that we were out with our Granddaughter!! The thing was he could have been right. When my Mother was 40 I was already 20 years old! But I have been told I look very young for my age. I think he was just trying to make a point that he thought we were too old to be having kids which was none of his business!!

Debbie - posted on 01/16/2010

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I am the grown child of an older Mom. I was proud to have her. Nurture at any language makes for healthy kids. It's just a word.

[deleted account]

My kids are 16 years apart - we have just the two.. It happens less often now, but when they were younger and we'd all go out together my son was often told how cute his daughter was, or something similar. He usually agreed with the complement and then added that she was his sister. He's now grown and moved away. People usually don't assume she's my grandchild, but will sometimes ask.

I think a good attitude is probably your best comeback. They aren't trying to be snarky.

Mary - posted on 01/16/2010

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I can sooooo relate! When I was 29 I developed hyperparathyroidism. A side effect of which was not only weight gain, but premature graying of the hair. I've had a big gray streak in my hair ever since. Normally, I dye my hair, but one time instead of renewing my fading die job, I spent the money on my husband's birthday with a surprise day out on the town. (He looked very young for his age.) While ordering a Margharita, he got carded by the bartender. The man looked at his license & saw the date, wished him a Happy Birthday and asked if he & his mom were having a fun time. My husband chuckled a bit & corrected him. The bartender apologized profusely and offered me a free drink. It was obvious he was embarrassed by his mistake. I didn't want to make him feel worse so I laughed it off, but refused the drink since I was doing the driving. Later that night, after the hubby fell asleep, I cried.



Another time, when I was 7 mos. pregnant with my son, I was taking my, then 20 month old, daughter for a walk down the block--again my gray streak was showing, as I was afraid to use hair dye during my pregnancy--not to mention the smell didn't help the morning sickness. A man down the street was out in his front yard washing his truck. He was very nice and friendly and said hello & introduced himself when he saw us walking by. He then turned to my daughter and asked her if she was enjoying her walk with grandma. I said that this was my daughter and that baby #2 was due in a couple of months. Again, he was extremely apologetic and embarrassed. I actually felt sorry for him because he felt so bad about the mistake. I laughed it off and told him it was no big deal. Then afterwards, when I'd put my daughter down for her nap, I cried.



I've been mistaken for my husband's mother & my children's grandmother many times since then and it does get annoying. I did begin to develop a thick skin about it. Everytime I felt myself get angry or upset, I'd remind myself of how embarrassed & awful the person making the mistake felt & remember that it was an honest mistake by someone who was just trying to be nice. Luckily for me my husband now has more gray in his hair than I do and has finally put on just enough weight to no longer look like a young teenager---he still very handsome, though. ;o) And those embarrassing moments did make me realize that I had been trying so hard to be the perfect wife & mom that I'd been neglecting myself. So over the years I've made efforts to do some little things for myself now & again, whenever I need a self-esteem boost. Now the "grandma" comments don't bug me so much. I can't give you an actual snappy "comeback" because I never came up with one, but I did find a way not to need it.

Rebecca - posted on 01/16/2010

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When my daughter was in 6th grade (she's now in her 30"s) I was baby sitting my sisters 1 year old and had to go over to the school. One of the other moms there asked if he was my grandson. Iwas only 34 yrs. at that time. My hair had some grey but not much. My family greys young. I just tell people that having kids greys your hair and the more they try new things the more grey hairs I get. lol

Lynda - posted on 01/15/2010

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I'm 57 and have an 11 year old boy.. (gorgeous lad).. I've only once been mistaken for his grandma when out at the movies with him and another, younger lad.. a raised eyebrows feeling.. but I wasn't offended.

[deleted account]

I have been called a grandma by a waitress one time. Needless to say, she didn't get a tip from me. LOL If someone calls you a grandmother, just reply, Oh, I would have been ten years old when I had this one, to be his grandmother. That should shut them up, or at least confuse the heck out of them. ha

Heather - posted on 01/15/2010

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It doesn't really bother me, since my kids are 22, 21, 18, and 2, so i am old enough to be a grandmother. It DOES bother me when the big brother (18, but he looks younger) gets nasty looks from people who think he is the father. I think I came up with an inadvertent comeback when I was taken off guard and said something along the lines of "I'm not THAT much of a cougar!" to someone who took us for gramma, daddy, and son and was shocked and horrified that I'd misunderstood her misunderstanding.

Di - posted on 01/14/2010

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Oh I know what you're saying there! My daughter just turned 12 & I'm already in shock!

Carlotta - posted on 01/14/2010

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I'll never forget when a client said how beautiful my granddaughter was and I just said yes she is, I just had her 3 months ago. Their face turned red. I was 37 and now she's 12. But really weren't we crazy. I'm ready to be grandma so I can send her home to someone during her teen years. I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Edith - posted on 01/14/2010

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I was in goodwill store with my son at that time 3 or 4 years old . he was sitting in the buggy when a woman suddenly said to him " r u shopping today with mawmaw ( I hate that expresion, Its oma ,g-ma, grandma or granny NOT mawmaw ) I looked at her and said with a smile on my face" my son loves going shopping with his mom " and turned around paid for my stuff and left.

Carlotta - posted on 01/14/2010

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Yes, I get it all the time. I am 52 and my son is 6 . When we go to the mall we get " oh, are you spending the day with Grandma today?" I just reply " No, he's spending the day with Mom." and watch their face get red. It doesn't bother me. I am old enough to have grandchildren.

Tracey - posted on 01/13/2010

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I was mortified when it happened to me, twice in one week. I went home and demanded of my (now ex) partner "Do I look that old!!" obviously he daren't answer anything but No!. It doesn't help now when I go shopping my lovely boy says in a very loud voice "Are you my mummy?" mind you, he only says it cos he knows it winds me up and it's normally when I've said he can't have what he wants.

[deleted account]

im 49 and i have a sister that is 7 yrs younger than me i raised her and people think she is my daughter i dont think i look that old but its fun to watch peoples response to us.she does call me mom.

[deleted account]

just tell people the old cliche "just cause there is snow on the roof. well you know the saying. i say im still getting it ,are you?

Di - posted on 01/13/2010

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I'm 46 & have a 12 year old daughter, when she was 4 I got called grandma-By all people Santa!!

Deborah - posted on 01/13/2010

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My 4 year old son did the comeback for me....."That's NOT my Grandma, that's MY MOMMY". He said it so loud that everyone by us in the store turned around. The poor lady was so embarressed.

Karen - posted on 01/13/2010

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i have a 22 yr old daughter and a 9yr old son and it's a free country!people can think what they want and my 2nd kid was planned!

Deb - posted on 01/13/2010

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Yes and it sucked! I thought I was looking pretty hot in my beach gear on our Hawaiian vacation, took my then 13 year old twins for some sodas. The lady at the counter told them their grandma must love them very much and to thank me. I think we all three turned various shades of embarrassed.

The kids at school who don't know us, think my husband and I are the grandparents and are really old. I seem to be a never ending source of mortification to my children.
When the twins were small, I had my oldest son (16 at the time) help me cart them around for some tasks around town. Some one at work commented on my boyfriend and I made the mistake of telling him about it... he was so grossed out that he would walk atleast 20 feet ahead or get lost behind or just not go with us anywhere.

I've got 30, 27, and 24 year old sons along with my 14 year old son and daughter and no grand kids... I don't need them, since I do have the twins.

Heather - posted on 01/11/2010

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Me too! Most of my friends tell me to tell people where to go but I'm not like that I come home and cry (I'm 44, My kids are 19 and 6.) When I came home from the hospital with my son (I have arthritis), my daughter was carrying the car seat for me and everyone thought that she'd had the baby! I have tried changing what I wear, my glasses and getting my hair permed, cut everything. They even think I'm grandma when my son has been repeatedly saying mom for ten min. whining for something in a store. I wish people would remember judge not lest ye be judged. eh?

Kathy - posted on 01/11/2010

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Yes there are four years between my granddaughter and my youngest son. And people have made comments saying you are shopping with your grandmother. My oldest son is 36 so I probably do look like a grandmother which I am. But when they were young it was hard explaining to people I guess.

De Arya - posted on 01/11/2010

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I get the opposite thing. I am out with my granddaughter and they think I am mom. I am proud to be a 44 yr old grandma and want to be known as such. People make well meaning innocent assumptions and it is best to just let slide off your shoulder. People have also thought I am married to my 23 year old son. Thought I was wife to my 69 year old father (he looks so young.) The thing is you just do not know anymore. People are having children later in life, second families, and kids are having kids. There just is not a traditional age to have kids or grandkids any longer. I just correct people with a smile and a laugh. Most are a bit embarrassed by the mistake and quickly apologize. It gives me something to laugh about for a few minutes. I do not waste my energy by getting offended over something someone said I will only know for a few minutes.

[deleted account]

I get this all the time. I have a 3 yr. old adopted daughter and I'm 52. People think I'm her Grandma. I just make sure they know I'm her Mom.

Karen Lynn - posted on 01/10/2010

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MY MOTHER SHARES MY SON WITH ME I GOT SICK SIX AND HALF YEARS AGO AND NEARLY DIED SO HE HAD TO GROW UP WITH MY MOM HE WILL BE TEN SOON AND HE FREQUENTLY SLIPS UP AND CALLS ME GRANDMA AND IT REALLY HURTS

Crystal - posted on 01/10/2010

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Oh girl get used to it, Im 50 and I have a 34, 29, 27, 24, 12 and a 6 yer old... Ive been hearing that for years... The best one was when the secretaries at my 12 year olds school said on the intercom that his Grandma was there to pick him up and my then five year old stood up and quite loudly said MOM is bubbs'd grandma here,,,,, I just get a kick out of it, lol.. Just smile set em straight and let them learn their lesson

Kate - posted on 01/10/2010

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l'm 46 and my youngest are 2 1/2 years and twins are 5 1/2 months old. l get the grandma thing all the time. So far l reply that l'm old enough to be grandma, but l'm mom. It's going to only get worse because my hair is realllly grey. l've been dying it for over 10 years and just don't have the time or energy to care about it anymore. l'm starting to feel like l'm going to get a bit rude with a comeback soon. So hopefully someone else can post a good reply to help me, too.

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