Grandparents raising grandkids

Jackie - posted on 04/24/2013

Our Grandson sometimes refers to his Grandpa as his Dad! His own dad was mean and called him names, made him feel inadequate and stupid. He has ADHD and as such has difficulty with concentration. You have to keep on him about things. He didn't complete his hs but we are all trying to get him to finish. He is back with his mother. She is a recovered meth addict for nine years clean and sober. My husband couldn't believe that his little girl would do such a thing. Grandson's siblings were place with other grandmother so they were separated for awhile but are all together with their mother and step dad. It doesn't seem like the step dad is doing much better than the dad accept he isn't calling names as much. You can do it. I am disabled and my husband was working but now can't because of illness. I am glad we had the time and opportunity to be an influence on him. He remembers all the things his granddad told and taught him, He is trying to be a really good member of his family. We are proud of him but know that he has a long way to go.

Jackie - posted on 04/24/2013

I was raising our grandson! It can be difficult but yet rewarding. He has moved on and is with his mother now and a step dad and his other two siblings. I hope and that is all I can do is to hope I did things right for him. He is a good boy but he has ADHD.
All I can tell you is to raise your grandchild(ren) the best that you can.

Becky - posted on 04/23/2013

Yes I have custody of my 8 yr old grandson. He has been with me for the last 5yrs.

Gloria - posted on 04/23/2013

Hi i have a residents order on my grandaughter whom ive raised with my husband since she was 10 days old ,She is 7 now and very bright . Her mum and dad are both in rehabe . and doing well . we have started to let them see her once a mth . But after seven an a half years of being stable she is starting to go a little wobbly . asked if any thing was worring her she replied i dont want to live with them . have asured her that will not happen . To all us grandparents raising our grand children . well done we will have made a big diferrents in our babies lifes

Kath - posted on 04/16/2013

hi im raising my 2 grandsons have done for 11 years now

Shirley - posted on 04/15/2013

Yes you should be able to complain . But not to the grandfather because he has been stuck in middle with his X and he sure don't want to deal with it agin..if you don't want the child send her back . If I was you I would get a sitter and go out shopping a couple times a week. And tell you husband that the cost of your child care service.

Deonna - posted on 04/13/2013

I am 42 yrs old and my husband works out of town. He is gone for months at a time. He took his 2 yr old grandaughter from his daughters mom because she needed a break and left her here with me. I am having a hard time dealing with her and my seven y/o son because they are both very active. Whenevever he calls and I complain to him about how tired I am and how miserable I am he gets mad and wants to send her back to her other grandmother. I know I can't have it both ways but don't I have the right to complain?

Jane - posted on 03/25/2013

This is what we need. We need to be able to identify women who need help and learn from each other how to make it work. The parents are not on the scene and we need help. We raised our children in a loving respectful home but my daughter fell away from the family after having a darling baby at 17. She could not rise to the occassion and has been in a spiral downward for 4 years. We love her and have tried to look the other way, but she insists on making things difficult for herself therefore on us and her darling daughter. We are older and still working and have given up our lives to help her and her little girl. We do have the support of the other family. The father pays child support (to my daughter) of which money we never see and the other grandparents take her every other weekend. But I am up getting a little one on the bus and picking up after school and dealing with the picking out clothes and bedtime and trying to keep up my end of working and supporting the family. We don't think we can do it. We love our granddaughter and she is defintely one of our great joys, but it is taking its toll. We don't believe we can financially do it.

Rae - posted on 01/09/2013

Need advise asap I have a 13 year old grandchild that I adopted, bm, which is my dd, is not very nice to the child, she was raised as her sister and has always been very mean to her, the child does NOT know she is adopted, how do i tell her that the sister is actually her bm and that we are her grandparents? again the sister is mean and hateful to her and they hate each other..
what shall i do?? HELP

Kim - posted on 09/13/2012

Hi I too have my grandchild sinse he was 11 months old and is now three years old. I am 47 years old, my son is 24 years old and a drug addict but currently is in an inpatient long term program and doing well ( my fingers are crossed for when he gets out that he stays sober and becomes the daddy he can be ) The mother of my grandchild is not doing so well as she is an addict and still out on the streets doing what she loves DRUGS and alcohol and thinks she can pop in and out of my grandsons life whenever it's convenient for her . I have just recently in August told her that would not beable to see her son until she went into a long term inpatient program because she needs to become the mother my grandson needs and to someday become a full time mother . She said she would do anything to get back with her son including going to the impatient program , well she did nothing of the sort and is still out on the streets ,her mother said she was one hundred percent with me on what I was trying to do and said she would not let her daughter see her son until she went to a program but the other day my grandson told me mommy was with him at his other grandmothers house , when I asked the other grandmother if this was true she said yes ,

,.But that wasn't new to me , so I said if your not going to listen to me and do what you want then you'll have to come to my home to visit the baby......oh she didn't like that !!! she actually started yelling at me saying I would have a serious problem if I thought I was going to try to take her grandson away from her and her daughter !!! I didn't take him away she just has to visit him here if she is going to continue to let her active drug addict daughter be with him. I am the legal guardian , I ran to court and got emergancy guardianship when her daughter put my grandson in danger while she pretended that she did nothing !!!! So yes she has to do what I say to keep my grandson safe !! But my question is do you think it is not a good thing to keep his mother from him until she gets clean in an iinpatient long term program ?Not to mention how he must feel when she pops into his life and then dissapears for months at a time and then plays mommy of the year when she is with him and then just leaves with a smile on her face like she just babysat a friends child?/ I just don't think it's good for him and can only wonder whay he thinks every night before he goes to sleep he just stares at the ceiling before he goes to sleep . He does see my son often almost on a regular basis ,Only because he is clean !!! Thanks for letting me vent ........Kim

BERNICE - posted on 09/13/2012

ELLEN, THE WAY THE WALFARE WOMAN HAD ME DO IT WAS TO WRITE A PAPER TO THE JUDGE OF TE COURT SAYING WHY I WANT CUSODY OF MY 2 GRANDSONS AND THAN ON ANOTHER PAPER ASK HIM TO WAVE THE FEE OF THE COURT COST YOU CAN BE YOUR OWN LAYWER IN THIS CASE ME AND MY HUSBAND DID WHEN MY DAUGTHER DID THE SAME THING TO US ONE NIGHT AT 2 A.M. BUT I THINK IT WAS THE LAW AND WALFARE THAT WAS AFTER HER !! BUT IT DID WORK 4 US !! I WISH U THE BEST OF LUCK HUN !!

BERNICE - posted on 09/13/2012

YES , I AM HUN , IM 43 AND RAISIN 2 BOYS ONE WILL BE 2 IN DEC AND THE OTHER ONE IS 6 , IVE AND THE OLDER ONE ALMOST ALL HIS LIFE UNTILL MY DAUGTHER MEET A GUY AND MOVED IN WITH HIM FOR 2 YEARS AND THAN ALL OF THE SUDDEN IT DIDNT WORK OUT AND SHE WENT BACK WITH TO THE FATHER AND GOT IN TROUBLE WITH DRUGS AND FIND OUT SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY THAN THOUGHT THEY COULD MAKE A GO OF IT BUT THEY JUST GOT IN TO MORE TROUBLE IT WAS A BIG MESS BUT I DIDNT KNOW ANY OF THIS UNTILL WALFARE CALLED ME UP ONE DAY TO TELL ME EVERYTHING AND I HAD TO GO TO COURT TO SAVE MY WOUNDERFUL GRANDBABIES !! WELL THANK U FOR LISTENING IF U EVERY WANT TO TALK IM HERE 4 U HUN ANY TIME !!!

Miss - posted on 09/10/2012

Yes and I am new here too

Lana - posted on 07/30/2012

I am a 66 year old grandmother who is trying to raise my daughters children, ages 12, 8, 7,6 and almost 2.
I am at my wits end and am slowly going to lose everything I have worked for all my life. Is there a way to get help? I get food stamps (when my daughter dosent keep the card). The dad is unemployed and living at the Salvation Army shelter. He dosent want them either. They are all so smart and great little guys but I just dont see how I can keep them. I never realized how much just keeping them in school costs. Oh well thanks for listening. Lana

Ellen - posted on 07/27/2012

I am a 44 yo grandmother of 3. I am raising two with my 34 yo husband. Our grandsons are 5 and 2. We have had them for almost two years now, full-time. Before that I was keeping the older boy ten to twelve hours each day, at least five days a week for the year and a half before. We are Mawmaw and Pawpaw. It is our desire to gain De-Facto Custodion, Full custody and then hopefully to adopt the boys. We love them so very much, and can't imagine life without them. The boys are my Daughters offspring, she left with a lie one night and hasn't been back since. She has had a third child, which we will unfortunately never know. My Daughter is 25. My son is 23 and has had enough sense not to have any children yet, he is still working on his own growing up and life. We are desperate in trying to get help in getting legal with the boys, as all our money is going toward just keeping roof and food. Most Grandparents organizations in our area say we don't 'qualify' because we're 'too young.' This is ridiculous. Constant brick walls with legal help because none of the groups have any money available. And we can't afford a lawyer on our own. Thought you were supposed to be able to represent yourself in court, but they've made that impossible because they won't tell you what paperwork you need, or where to get the forms. You can't get help getting custody so legally you can't enroll them in school, take them to doctor or dentist, etc. But if they find out you haven't been doing these things they can arrest you, take the kids, etc. I'm so frustrated.

Anne - posted on 07/21/2012

hi i am a 51 year old grandmother of 2 years old grandson son,
my daughter has seperated from the father of my grandson and they are both living with me,
my daughter is now pregnant again and when she told me of this she was trilled but 3 months in the pregnacy she rings me at work one day tells me she has booked herself in for abortion i faught with her over this giving her every reason as in not to do this asked question about why she left it so late she couldn`t tell me why, she also had started talking to my grandsons dad around the same time anyway we went to this appoinment only to be told she was further along that she first thought i have offered to bring up this baby as mine which i think she is happy to do now i did offer this before we went to this appoinment but was refused,i have feeling her former partner had something to do with why she out of the blue told me she was having an abortion

Janice - posted on 07/03/2012

Is this group still open? I am a 51 year old grandmother raising 4 grandsons.... Just curious if there were any more out there?

Gia - posted on 04/21/2012

I am sure there are a lot of us... My grandson is now 10 and I have had him since he was an infant!

Connie - posted on 11/05/2009

Hi Mariyln,thanks for the info.I'm 52 I've been raising my granddaughter 4 yrs now.She is 6 now.I live in a small community but i did find a grandparents raising grandchildren club.Thanks again.

Connie - posted on 11/05/2009

I'm glad to here he is doing great.I'Ve added you both in my daily prayers.

God bless you. connie

Berta - posted on 11/05/2009

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Berta - posted on 11/05/2009

Definitely, there are lots. I am raising my granddaughter and she calls me Mom

Belinda - posted on 11/03/2009

Hi Connie,

Guess we are all in the right place. I too am raising 2 of the 10 grandkids that my 3 boys have fathered. I have had my 2 oldest grandkids ages 11, 9 since my granddaughter was 2 and grandson wasa baby. Their mom goes in and out of their lives and their dad(my son) age 30 has had alot of runins with the law. I pray one of these days he will grow up and want to take his responsability to heart. I am thankful that I am still young enough to raise children a second time (age 47). All I can say is that they are safer with the grandparents than somewhere you dont know.

Latonda - posted on 11/02/2009

I`m a 43 year old grandma. I have custody of 1 of my grandaughters plus 3 grandsons and another grandaughter live in my home with their mothers.

Carmela - posted on 11/02/2009

HI I AM GOING COURT ON NOV 17, 09 TRY TO GET MY SON CHILD HIS GRANDMOTHER MOTHER PASSWAY THE OTHER GRANDMOTHER IS NOT WATCHEN HIM A FRIEND O HER DAU, HAS HIM MY SO HE HAS ANOTHER HE DONT CARE ABOUT THAT THERE BUT HIS MOTHER IS NO BETTET THEY BOTH PARTY PEOPLE U WHAT MEAN. TRYING GRANDMOTHER RIGHT NO FRIEND NEEDS TO KEEP MY GRANDSON I SIT HOM 24/7 HEY I AM HE ALL TIME WELL LET SEE WHAT HAPPEN 17NOV.09 AT 330PM

Kim - posted on 11/02/2009

I am, in a sense. My daughter and her daughter live with me...

Bev - posted on 11/02/2009

yes all the way from just helping with babysitting to becoming a guardian with all the responsibilities. I'm 61 and my husband just left me 4 years ago after 37 years together for his brother's wife who has no grandchildren, (soap opera drama) it's his loss. I'm still watching 3 while my divorced daughter works two jobs to make ends meet. So yes, it's difficult, especially on the children trying to explain all the whys when all they want and need is their parents love and time. Everyone needs some help at one time or another. Just hold on tightly to each other and things have a way of working out. Never give up. You'll never find anything as important or valuable as family. " Life affords no greater responsibility, or privilege, than the raising of the next generation." --C. Everett Koop. To all the grandmothers raising grandchildren..I love you and I know the lord loves us all.... Bev Guthrie

Cathi - posted on 11/01/2009

I have kind of a unique situation. My oldest children are 25 and 18. We adopted our two grandchildren who are now 5 and 6, but we took custody of them when my grandson was 11 months and we took our granddaughter home from the hospital. A few months before our grandchildren came to live with us we became foster/adopt parents to 6 year old unrelated child who we have adopted and she is now 13. About a year after we took in my grandchildren, I found out I was pregnant with my youngest son who is now 4. So my children are 25, 18 (19 in Jan.), 6 (7 in Jan-same day as 18 yr old), 5 (6 in Dec.), and 4! I also have 2 grandchildren. My son was dating a young lady when she was pregnant with my grandson, who is 2. Also, my daughter, thank the Lord, cleaned up her act and she and her husband gave birth to my 2nd grandson on October 30!!

Debbie - posted on 11/01/2009

I am right now, I don't know for how long. I have 4 grandchildren and one on the way. My daughter only has one daughter, she is 3. I keep her alot they lived with me from the time she was born until she was almost two, so I am the only one she stays with and my daughter works. The last year or more my son lived here (until the last of Sept.), with his 3 year old (only 10 days older than my daughters) daughter and in March he had his first son. The other daughter is with her grandparents in Texas. The last 2 weeks I had the two, he has with him, after they left. The mother came after the the 3 year old Oct. 30, I still have the baby. But I feel like I have been raising them ever since they were born. I don't know if the mother has any plans of coming after the baby or not and at times I feel I am just to old to be starting over!

Theresa - posted on 11/01/2009

I'm 48 andI have to grown children 26 & 22 and I have was raising 1 of my 5 grandchildren on and off since birth. My daughter-in-law left and never came back. My son got on his feet and I am happy to say daddy and son are doing quite well without his ex.

My grandmother raised me and my siblings plus my cousin and her youngest son. They're were no single fathers in the military in the 1960's.

Marilyn - posted on 10/31/2009

Hi Connie, You're not alone, there are alot more grandparents raising their grandchildren. I'm 49 years old and raising my grandson. I've had him since the day that he was born. JJ is 9 years old, and has ADHD/ODD and Bipolar. I lost my husband in January of this year and then I returned to college to get an Associates Degree in Accounting. There are groups out there that help grandparents that are raising grandchildren. I don't know what area you are from, but check and see if there is a group called Grandparents raising Grandchildren. I belong to the one in my area, they have monthly meetings and once a year I get a gift card to help buy clothes and whatever else I need for JJ. Good Luck!

Chris - posted on 10/31/2009

I am a gramma...taking care of 2 grandkids, ages 4 n 2...4 to 5 days a week...my daughter is was working as well her hubby...she has since quit working and is going to school full time...i stay there during the week and am home on weekends. I have looked after the 2 little boys pretty much most of their short lives ..i enjoy it..and they love having gramma around :)

Donna - posted on 10/31/2009

I've been raising my 11 year old granddaughter since she was 1 year old.

Lynn - posted on 10/31/2009

i am 44 years old i have two older kids 22 and 14 and i have taken care of my grandchildren 2 and 4 most all there life. and up to last friday they have been living with me.

Debbie - posted on 10/30/2009

I am a grandmother (54yrs old) raising my 3 year old step grandson. He was diagnosed with brain cancer at 9 mo old. He is doing great for all he has been thru.