Happy to have 10 years between my children ... anyone else ?

Emily - posted on 01/16/2010 ( 53 moms have responded )

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I have a 21 year old and an 11 year old - from the moment the younger one was born people would say to me (and still do) ... "oh that's a shame they are not closer in age" ... my response "they are amazingly close - unconditional love for each other - no bickering - just brothers" ... am I the only mom out there who thinks a large age difference is a good thing ?

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Zephyr - posted on 01/20/2010

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Hi Emily, no you are not alone, believe me. I am 56 and have two sons and they 37 and 13. Yes they are 24 years apart. I also three brothers who are 14, 16, and 18 years older than me and 3 younger siblings. My sons are very close. I can say from experience that no matter the age difference between siblings they always have each other's back. What I get all the time is Girl what were you thinking. My response is that my sons are blessings from GOD and I wouldn't change a thing.

Kim - posted on 01/23/2010

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I have a 29 year old and a 10 year old. They are more than sisters, they are good friends.

Wendy - posted on 01/20/2010

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My children are 11 1/2 years apart. My son is 14 and my daughter is 3. It wasn't planned that way, but it we had our son after 9 years of marriage so we weren't too surpised when the next one took so long. We are all very lucky. They are the best of friends. He is the best big brother ever! He never acts like she is a bother. When his friends come over, they know it's a package deal. He includes her in almost everything he does and takes especially good care of her. This is such a blessing because at 40, I was like a "deer in the headlights"! Couldn't believe we were starting all over! Although we didn't plan on such a big gap, we are very happy with the way things turned out.

Jackie - posted on 12/19/2012

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My sister and I are 15 years apart. We are very close. We do have our fights but she always comes to me to ask for advice. Even when there is trouble at home (according to my sister) she phones me! Even my kids have a big age difference. My daughters aged 15 and 10 and then my son of 1 year of age. They adore their little brother and are mommy's little helpers. They even brag about their cute little brother!! There is nothing wrong with a big age difference. I think it is much better, less stress and you can enjoy each child on their different stage of growing up. I enjoy it every day!! For me it is a blessing!

Terrie - posted on 02/05/2010

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My youngest two children both boys are ten years apart in age. Ity makes for intersting conversation with four children three now adults and our youngest is nine. Our 19 year old still lives at home.

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Abigail - posted on 04/28/2014

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I am a mother actually have my children now 25 and 15 exactly ten years between them, the first child thinks she is entitled to having me all alone and the younger feels the older had her time and now is her turn to be with mum all to herself. Unfortunately when they grow older they start being troublesome but when the eldest was able to take care of her sister when i am away was appreciated.

Narayanasacoe - posted on 04/08/2014

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hi i am 30 years old. i am worked as a electical engg in tneb...........my parents arrged get married a girls 20 years.......i liked him...but a age difference is possible or not

Chet - posted on 03/01/2014

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My experience is that most people are happy with the age spacing that they have. If you talk to other people with a ten year gap the vast majority of them will tell you it's good. The problem is that most people don't have a ten year gap. They have a two to four year gap.

Our kids are close in age. All born in five and half years, the girls are 16 months apart and our boys are 17 months apart. People who don't have closely spaced children think it's crazy.

There are benefits and drawbacks to any age gap, and it's good that people have a natural tendency to be happy with what they have.

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2014

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It is always fun(especially if your ten year old likes babies) to have a baby sister\brother to show your friends! I have a 15 yr old, 13 yr old, 9 yr old, 3 yr old, and a 1 yr old. My oldest is 14 yrs apart from my baby!

[deleted account]

Hi I have 3 wonderful kids My oldest son is 19 years old and My daughter is 14 years old and my baby is 3 years old. I love the age difference My oldest is always great help. He is away in College right now so we all have fun Skypeing with him. Yes I always get these weird looks and comments wow everytime you had a kid you had to start over. It is ok I know my kids are all very close with each other even if my daughter and youngest son fight all the time.. I think it is a great thing you get to spend time with them during their baby time and toddler time. I have no idea how mommy's do it with babies so close together in age I do give them lots of credit.

Denise - posted on 02/23/2014

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I have 6 years between my two boys and I love that! One is just about done doing all the travel basketball and now the other is starting. I was able to give 6 years of quality with my first born and then he started school and then I was able to give my second also the quality time. I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom so this worked great for me. AND, having my second at 41 keeps me feeling young and I am 51 this year.

Sophia - posted on 02/21/2014

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My middle child and the last are are 14 years apart.. And the the first one is 10 years apart from the middle. One. I know i am a better mom because they had their time with me.

April - posted on 06/22/2013

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I have a 9 year old boy and I just had my other son 3 months ago. People thought I was crazy I turned 40 3 weeks after I had my second son. My older one loves being a big brother he helps a great deal it's wonderful to watch. I have 3 younger sisters and one of them is 2 years younger than I and we fought constantly and lol still do.

Jody - posted on 06/20/2013

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Heck no. There's 35 years between my oldest and youngest. You guessed it. All are adopted. Jody, The Medicare Mom

Stacey - posted on 06/17/2013

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I needed that my daughter is 11 and I'm pregnant now by the time her brother is born she will have made 12. I want them to be close.

Sophia - posted on 04/20/2013

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HAVING CHILDREN SHOULD BE MORE THEN GETTING THEM OUT OF THE WAY OR HAVING THEM CLOSE FOR FRIENDSHIP .... AS A MOM MY KIDS ARE YEARS APART BECAUSE I KNOW THATS WHAT I COULD MENTAL DEAL WITH.... MY CHILDREN ARE 29,21 AND 7 YEARS OLD. I ENJOYED EACH OF THEM NEVER WISH THAT I WAS FREE... NEVER LEFT THEM HERE OR THERE... DONT KNOW IF I COULD LOVE .. THEM SAME,,,,,,, OR CARE FOR THEM THE SAME ... IF THERE WERE NOT WHAT I COULD DEAL WITH FROM A MENTAL STATE. THATS JUST ME....

Sandy - posted on 02/04/2010

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Hello, My brother and I were 9 years a apart and were close as ever! He went from being my "live" baby doll to little brother to great friend. As they get older its really not that big of a difference.

Debbie - posted on 01/23/2010

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For a while, when my 14 year old(at the time) and my 4 year old couldn't seem to get along, I would wonder if it was a good thing. My two are girls and the younger one seemed to annoy the older one off and on for a couple of years. They are almost 18-Sami and 8-Bailee now. Bailee tends to want to be a part of Sami's group of friends when they come over, which I wasn't so sure they would go for. But Sami lets her watch movies and play games with them more than I expect her to. There is still a tiff here and there between them, but I'm happy to have them both in our family and the age difference isn't bad at all.

Amy - posted on 01/23/2010

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I think a large age difference if fine. My brothers are 10 & 12 years older than me and we have always been very close. My son and daughter are 15 years apart. They were very close until I had to move back home to care for my Mother and he stay in another state where he was working. My son calls about once a week to talk to just his sister and she loves that. We also share stuff on Facebook and are starting to live chat. Having my children 15 years apart has been good for me to because I have been able to give them individual attention like they were an only child. I also think that having children far apart in age also help build a stronger relationship with your children.

Jody - posted on 01/23/2010

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My are older and have children of their own now. The oldest is 33yrs and the yougest 23yrs. They werevery close growing up. The youngest said she wishes they were more closer in age,so she has her children close in age 4yrs,3yrs and 4 months. She says she likes the buddie system but she always seems so stresesed. Gee I wonder WHY?

Laura - posted on 01/22/2010

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i have 9.5 yrs between my first and second child and 13 yrs between my first and third child...my oldest has a wonderful bond and great relationship with his younger siblings and they have an older role model to learn from (the good and the bad..lol)....we didnt try to plan it this way, just the way it is and i wouldnt change a thing!

Renee - posted on 01/22/2010

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My daughter just turned 21 and has a 6 month old. My son will be 8 in March. They love each other and look out for each other. My daughter lives a block away from us and our son is constantly asking if he can go see his sissy.

Julie-Ann - posted on 01/22/2010

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I have a 21 year old boy and a 8 year old girl, and they adore each other. The 21 year old boy lives with his grandparents. I think that the big age gap is great, as with 8 year old I feel ready to be a mum whereas when I had 21 year old I felt like a child myself

Wendy - posted on 01/22/2010

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I also have a 21 year old-daughter and an 11 year old son. My daughter helped out a lot when she lived here. They did bicker through the years. But now my daughter has a 2 year old son. And my son helps out when they are here. Her son likes it when my son spends the night at their place. He looks up to my son.

Irene - posted on 01/21/2010

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I have 24 yrs, 21 yrs (foster, 20 yrs sons and a 6 yrs daughter. A plus is babysitting is easy. The boys totally love their little sister. She loves them and even tells on them. I find this cute when she says "I telling on you to mom. Mom Darren (my 24yrs old) is not listening to me." Her self confidence is extremely high and a very lovable child. I think age difference is a good thing. There is fighting but the older boys say "oh in a few minutes she'll get over it." I enjoy it.

Kelly - posted on 01/21/2010

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I find the 12 and 13 years between 2 of the siblings to be great.....I only have the youngest at home .

Christina - posted on 01/21/2010

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My daughter is 22 yrs older than her 5 month old brother and she absolutely adores him. It is like raising two only children. I can say that having a newborn at 41 is much different than at nineteen. But I am so much more patient and prepared for it.

Sandra - posted on 01/21/2010

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I hate that people feel the need to comment on every person's situation if they don't consider it "normal". I have a six year gap between mine and I have sibling that are 12 years older than me and we are best friends. I get tired of the questions and people feeeling like they are owed an explanation as to why my family isn't "normal" and they deserve a response. Enjoy the differences, and celebrate the love a family has with any age gap (be it 9 months or 10 years apart) and ask them why they see a need to make a comment on something that is personal. My response has been everything from we are so lucky to have the family we have to very sarcastic comments to let them know they been too personal and rude.

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My situation is a little different as the oldest are my stepsons who are 26 and 25 and then my daughters from my 1st marriage are 18 and 16 and my husband and I have a 7 year old girl. They are all extremely close and really watch out for their youngest sister. Growing up an only child, I always wanted a larger family and I couldn't ask for a better one!

Debs - posted on 01/21/2010

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I have an 11 yr old,21 yr old and a 24 yr old..and it feels like the youngest is an only child.We have a lot of behaviour issues at home with the youngest too as she tries to speak and act as old as the other two.So no I don't think a huge age gap is a good thing.

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My DH and I have 15 children. They are ages 29 down to 12. They are close in age. :) I loved my children being real close in age. They always got along. They just never fought and they were each others best friends. It has always been great.

Jo'el - posted on 01/21/2010

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This summer I will experience what it is like to have older children and a baby. My daughter is 9 1/2 and my step-son is 8. The were only children until my husband and I married last year. They have enjoyed having a sibling and are both looking very forward to having a new baby sister/brother. I sometimes wonder if we're just a bit crazy for having a baby when our oldest will be a tween and I will be turning 40, so it's been heartening to read these posts.

Anne - posted on 01/20/2010

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Our daughters are 4 1/2 years apart. Even though it was not as large a gap as your sons but My Husband and I heard the same thing. Although there was about a 4 year period when our youngest daughter was always trying to get her older sister in trouble, they are now the Best of Friends, They are 21 and 26 and live on opposite sides of the country, yet they remain close and connected.

When I would get the "Why did you wait so long to have a second baby?" I would just look sad and say "Well for a long time we were not sure my heart was strong enough for a second Pregnancy."

[deleted account]

My kids range in age from 24 to 2. I had mine in sets I guess. The first two are 3-1/2 years apart. Then 8 years later we had one followed close by another one 22 months apart. Then we wait another 5-1/2 years for another one followed close with the youngest 2 years after that. I guess I do best with only 2 small ones at a time. LOL My kids get along and they can bicker too. The two girls in the middle have grown up best of friends, but have hit the rocky stage of preteen, so we will see how this goes.

[deleted account]

Well, I had my first 20 years before my second child. I am now 51 years old! My oldest is 29 years old (soon to be 30) and youngest is 9 (will be 10 this year) I couldn't be happier actually. They are so much fun to be around. I have a grandson two years older than my son and a granddaughter 2 years younger than my son.

Karen - posted on 01/20/2010

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My son is 22 and my daughter is 12, they bicker and fight and love each other (although they may not admit it), just like siblings who are close in age. No matter how much my son may tease and pick on his sister, he has always been there for her when I haven't been, when she has been sick or hurt. I couldn't ask for two greater kids.

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2010

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Debra, let them progress at their own rate. It's hard when the age difference is like 3 and 13 or 5 and 15, because the older ones want their space but the younger ones want to invade everyone's space. As soon as the older one is older, they'll appreciate each other more. My brother and I are 7 years apart and I wanted to kill him for most of his youth. Now, he's one of my best friends. It'll work out. Just appreciate their individuality.

Robin - posted on 01/20/2010

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Nope! I think it's a great thing! My son and his two halfsisters are almost exactly 5 years apart...and having them in different stages in their lives allows all of us to enjoy each other in different ways, without the competition.

The 2 sisters bicker at times tho :)

Debra - posted on 01/20/2010

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I have a son who is 10 years older than his sister and they can hardly be in the room together. When they are there is such agap in their age they want even talk to each other. Some advice on that would be great.

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2010

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Our first son is 22 and then we decided to have more waaay later. Our second son is 3. We love the age gap. We were 19 when we had Matt. This time around is so completely different, yet awesome like the other. The gap has taught me many wonderful experiences to use this time around!

NancyJane - posted on 01/20/2010

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My boys are 11 years apart and it was like raising 2 only children..by the time my younger one was born, it allowed freedom for the older one.. they are very close....my older one helped me with the younger one and now that Eric is 26 and John is 15, they get along even better...they both play instruments and are in separate bands...I love when they jam together.Also, when it's the younger ones B'day the older one takes him out just the 2 of them..I love my boys, they are so different but very close to each other and my husband and I....

FRANCES - posted on 01/20/2010

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I agree, I have a 28 year old son and a 15 year old daughter as well as a 7 & 4 year old and sometime it just meant to be that way. God knew my that my patience was thin for children and they have all been diagnoised with challeges so the age difference made me be able to handle all of there challeges of ADHD/AUTISM/BIOPLAR/DEPRESSION/ASTHMA. And I agree that unconditional love is better.

Kimberley - posted on 01/20/2010

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I don't think age has anything to do with it....either you bond or you don't...Why should it matter if someone is older or not? My husband's brothers and sisters a close in age and don't get along at all...Why do people think they have a formula for everything? Life isn't a formula...Plans never work...

Debbie - posted on 01/20/2010

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I have 2 pairs separated by approximately14 yrs...Ages 30, 28, 16 & 14. I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe my younger children are closer to the older ones BECAUSE of the age difference.

Inga - posted on 01/20/2010

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Nope! I think it is fabulous! I am 43 and have a 20 year old son in college and a 3.5 year old daughter (of course home with me). They have such a beautiful bond. He is the protective BIG brother and she is the sometime menacing, but loving and compassionate little sister. He does not live home, but visits quite often. I love it, no fighting, no compettion...........just love. Wouldnt get much of that if they were closer in age.

Kimberley - posted on 01/20/2010

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I am 9 years older than my brother and we are amazingly close. People always have there opinions on when to have children, how many years apart they should be blah, blah, blah, ......I think the closer in age siblings are the more sibling rivalry. I get so tired of people giving there opinion on the exact formula for a perfect life...I had my daughter at 40 and it has been the best thing ever...but, all I seem to get is negative comments about my age. I feel better at 40 than I did at 20 and am definitly more emotionally ready...The 9 year age difference between my brother and I has been a blessing. My Father died young and I raised him in my twenties...we are closer than any brother and sister I know. I totally agree with you that it is a great thing....I am so happy for you :)

Jane - posted on 01/20/2010

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I never expected to have a fourth child at 44, but that was 8 yrs ago, and my daughter has been such a blessing for my older sons (now 18, 22 and 24). They have been so good and kind to her! Yes, they'll comment that she is a little pampered and seems to get her way more than they ever did, and perhaps they're right about that at times, but she has brought such joy to our family. No regrets for having our baby girl in "middle age"...she's keeping us young! Okay, so maybe my old brain cells frazzle faster, but that comes with raising a rambunctious 8 yr old!

Betty - posted on 01/20/2010

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Hi Emily, my oldest son is 28 and my youngest daughter is 18 and they are close, I also have a middle dauhter that is 23. There has never been a time when she couldn't call on her brother and he not be there for her, she just spent 6 months living with him in Florida with her daughter and it was the best time for her. sometimes that age difference is the best, in this way they will always have someone just a little older and wiser looking out for them when we as parents can't. Take pride in your sons age difference it's a good thang.

Cindy - posted on 01/20/2010

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You are not alone Emily. I used to think I was the only one out there crazy enough to have the large age difference between my children. However, I have done quite a bit of research, talking to other moms who have similar experience and found out it is quite a bit more common than most would think. I have 3 boys - ages 29, 15 (16 next month) &14 (15 in May). 13 years between the first two and 15 months between the second and third. As you see, I have experience with them being a good distance apart in age as well as having two almost born on top of each other. My oldest has always been a God sent angel to the other two. He interacted with them wonderfully while they were infants and he was still at home. They are still amazing with each other now that the oldest is married and out on his own. They DO love each other unconditionally and the younger two often go to him for advice, thinking I'm sure, that he is way cooler than mom or dad. He is old enough to give sound advice and yet young enough to play a game of touch football, Madden or Rock Band on PS3. I love their relationship and watching it grow as they have, has been pure joy!

Rena - posted on 01/16/2010

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I have 2 children also but they are 10 1/2 years apart. I agree with you, my children are really close. My daughter is 31 alomst 32 and my son is 21. People have said the same thing to me and they also ask if they have the same father. My reply is yes they have the same dad and yes they are very close.

Gaye - posted on 01/16/2010

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Due to infertility after I had my son & then the miracle of 2 pregnancies 14 years later, I have a son who is 18, a daughter who is 3 years old & a daughter who is 15 months old. ( I am 40 years old on thursday) My son adores his little sister's he is like another father to them. (he has learned of the best as my husband (all the kids father) is a brilliant loving happy hands on dad ) & I couldn't be happier with anything else including the age difference. If I had looked into a crystal ball & seen just how wonderful it is to have what I have I would have said "bring it on". My son is going to make a fantastic father as he is an unbelievable help to me with his sister's and never compalins about them jumping all over him or coming with me shopping & minding them for me, or getting snotty kisses or food all over him. He just take it in his stride. He totally understands that they are just little girls. He take dozens of photo's of them & all his friend adore my girls because he has made them such a part of all their lives. He can't wait to have kids & just by watching their dad & how fabulous he is with them, has taught him to be a fabulous father also. My husband & I are overjoyed that we were blessed with all our 3 kids & love how it turned out & wouldn't change a thing. We know everyday how lucky we are.

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