How can I get my teen to shower

Marion - posted on 07/20/2010 ( 83 moms have responded )

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My 13 yr old daughter won't shower every day

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Cynthia - posted on 04/16/2013

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At 13, girls sometimes get embarassed to talk about hygiene and girl issues. They also think we're from another planet and don't like anything we like. If you make an issue of the shower thing than you can bet she won't take a shower. So, try not to make it an issue.

Girls at that age do not like anything we do. They especially hate the toiletries we use. That's part of growing up. Maybe its time to ask your daughter what types of toiletries she likes.

One trick I used was to let the girls make their own personal hygiene list. When we arrived at the store I dropped them off the health and beauty section and let them pick their own toiletries. I never commented... unless they were way off price wise... : ).... and they placed their picks into the basket.

They enjoyed showering and I never had a problem after that!

Anne - posted on 07/22/2010

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Our youngest did this at about 11.I told her NO NEW CLOTHES until she was taking a shower at least every other day. Worked like a charm because my oldest daughter and I would go through the flyers of the department stores that came in the paper and talked about how cute the new clothes were.

I went so far as to take our oldest daughter shopping for new things and not take the youngest daughter.

Just find the one thing that matters most for her and take that away. I was fortunate in that this happened during the summer and we had new school clothes to buy.

She now showers every day and is as fresh as a daisy. She is 22 and works in an office as a Financial aide she is always well groomed and dressed appropriate.

Oh one more thing harping and nagging did not work for our daughter.

[deleted account]

I have 2 daughters, one is 19 and lived in the bathroom from 9-10 years old...and still does. My youngest is 13 and is excellent at showering everyday, but I battled her for awhile over when to shower. I thought showering at night was easier b/c it gave her more "sleep in time" in the morning. She liked showering in the morning b/c it helped to wake her up. I decided that she could make the decision for herself. Now on days when we are not going anywhere, and she hasn't gotten dirty, she sometimes will skip the shower. Also, she has long hair, and only washes it every other day. So she alternates between taking a bath and a shower.

Also, I have worked with teen girls in a residential facility. This was an issue for several of the girls I worked with. Sometimes it can be a sign of depression, or they will not shower to keep others away b/c they feel bad about something that has happened to them in the past either physically, or emotionally. With these girls we tried talking to them about exactly why they did not want to shower. One girl was scared of being alone in the shower, and we would stand just outside the door, with the door cracked (and our back turned), and talk to her while she showered. If a child still refused to shower, we would remove all outings, and "family time activities". Usually one of these methods would cause a turn around.

However, I would discourage any blatant humiliation to her. This can cause emotional scars and make the problem much worse. On the other hand, don't make it into a struggle. If she is seeking attention this may be her way of getting it. Just let her know up front that if she does not shower, she will not go anywhere, or do anything, with family or friends. Let her know that how she presents herself is not only a reflection on her, but on your family.

Hope things work out and get better for you. If it continues, you may want to speak to her pediatrician, or doctor, and maybe they will talk to her, or know someone she could talk to.

Donna - posted on 07/21/2010

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encourage family members to comment about 'funny smell' and sniff her out. Embarass her indirectly. I had this problem when my son was the same age. Took a few people to comment but it worked. Threats get you nowhere and bribery never really stamps out the problem. Another thing to do is exclude her from family outtings due to not wanting to be seen out with her. Don't involve other children in this as it can quickly turn to bullying. Hope this helps x

Kelly - posted on 08/02/2010

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just tell her until she showers everyday u will not do her washing so they can stink together and her friends will tell her in the end. i know it sounds mean but it works.

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Ena - posted on 08/06/2014

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So, I am having this problem with my 8 year old daughter and 13 year old step son. I tried positive encouragement and reward systems. I added it to a requirement to earn allowance. And I've always let them pick out their own bath products. Then I tried the negative encouragement and consequence based approach and they earned "community service" for skipping basic hygiene practices. I can get them in the shower, but I have to force them to do it.Then smell them to make sure they used soap, it's ridiculous. I finally resolved today to take away all clothes except 5 outfits of my choosing and assigning them 2 laundry days a piece to wash their own clothes. Maybe having to clean their own filth will convey some semblance of responsibility, but I'm not getting my hopes up. To be honest, I'll snap soon and belt them. Then they'll be good again for at least a month. I know this is frowned upon, but oh well, I have babies to take care of and I don't have time to go through this every morning.

OLGA - posted on 12/06/2013

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Sometimes they are just tired, their bodies are going through so many changes along with middle school work and schedules. Sometimes they really are lazy, it seems like so much trouble. I sometimes let my daughter slide one day, but not two. It is just unsanitary and unhealthy. I don't humiliate her but I tell her she smells bad, I can deal with the smell, because I am her mother but other people should not have to. GET IN THE SHOWER!

Kristi - posted on 10/29/2013

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My daughter is 17 and I can't get her to shower... I have complained to my parents about it a lot (who have had a huge hand in raising her) and no one else seems to notice the odor! I almost wish she would get picked on in school I can't take it anymore... her room is a nightmare and she never washes her clothes... tomorrow it will be two weeks without a shower! I've threatened to post a shower update on facebook but she laughs at me! Seriously I'm thinking of dumping soapy water on her in the morning to at least take the edge off! Its no fun being stuck in a car with the windows up with a teen with bad heigeine when you have a super sensitive nose!!! I am at my wits end with her I have no idea what her problem is!!! My six year old asked her if she is afraid of water LOL!

Sophia - posted on 04/20/2013

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I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE.... DONT THINK IT 'S TEEN PROBLEM MY 7 YEAR OLD ASKED WHY SHOULD HE TAKE A BATH ON THE WEEKEND IF THERE IS NO SCHOOL. I FEEL THEY ARE BABIES, THEN KIDS,THEN THEY TURN PEOPLE AS THEY AGED.

Katherine - posted on 04/19/2013

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Perhaps ask her why and if there is anything you can do or not do to help consider a freshened look...some moms just laugh behind the daughters because they know that the child is going to school with others doing or not doing the same thing.

Often it is temporary. Dreadlocks anyone on she knows?

Kate

Yolanda - posted on 04/05/2013

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Ms. Martinez, I'm afraid you are making a huge mistake showering with your son. As the grown up you really should respect him as a young man. It's totally unfair to him and the girl he may one day marry. If while we were dating, my husband told me he'd done that with his mother I'd have said (see ya ) and never looked back. He's got enough to deal with in this world without a mother who thinks he enjoys her fit naked body. There has to be a better way to inspire a kid to get a shower. I'm guessing there's no dad in the house because if I want a man in my shower it's my husband.

Denise - posted on 01/24/2013

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Yeap, I remember that. Thats' the age too. Bribery is the only thing that works.

Cecilia - posted on 01/12/2013

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milly, in fairness, you have a son. i don't think my daughter could wash her hair in 3 minutes, let alone shave and clean herself. Actually i don't think i could finish either. I'm sure you'd have a fit about me filling the tub more than half way for a toddler at bath time.

Please explain to me how taking a 3 minute shower helps those affected by flood? How does leaving my heat at 75F make those affect by drought worse off? Shoot next you'll tell me because I buy name brand detergent for my clothes i'm the reason children have AIDS in Africa!

Truth is, she didn't ask how to conserve water. She is asking how to get her daughter to use more of it :)

Milly Molly - posted on 01/12/2013

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Blimey! I cannot believe that someone would let their child spend 45 minutes in the shower! Do you not feel any responsibility towards the resources of our planet? And why do you want your children to shower every day? If they smell can they not just wash under their arms? My son is 15 and very keen on personal hygiene - he showers every day before he goes to school, but when he started we used a timer and if he wasn't out after 3 minutes (yes THREE) he had money docked from his pocket money. He soon learnt to take quick showers. 3 minutes is plenty of time to wash yourself thoroughly -more than that is a crime against our planet, especially if you're doing it every day. I know global warming isn't a very popular topic in the US, but please please please start thinking about all those people who are suffering: droughts, floods etc, because we the rich can't be bothered to turn off our lights, turn down our heating, put our washing out to dry instead of using the dryer, walk instead of using the car etc. PLEASE!

Cecilia - posted on 12/27/2012

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Honestly, i'd say give reminders and let it go. My daughter is 12 and she never showers over the weekend.NEVER. She will shower monday morning before school. If i smell her i tell her about it. She might put on deodorant, she might not. If she doesn't and i keep smelling her i tell her i don't like it and would like if she could please do something about it. I did notice her showering more often since i took her out and let her pick out bath gels that she wanted at bath and body works. Still isn't perfect, but it's a start.

When they become interested in the other sex it will self correct. It's frustrating, but i dont think anything we do can fix it. We simply wait until it stops.(or in this case.. starts)

Jessica - posted on 12/24/2012

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My daughter is 14 and has mixed race hair that she wears straightened with a flat iron. I think she doesn't shower because she doesn't want to get her hair wet! I bought her a shower cap, and she still won't shower. I started out with hinting, that didn't work so i got direct and blunt telling her she NEEDS to shower. That hasn't worked either. She hangs out with her friends frequently, i almost wish they would say something to her. Maybe it is a phase. Her twin brother was like that for a long time until he started playing sports. Now he's really good about showering. I know her brothers and little sister show no mercy in letting her know she doesn't smell good, but that doesn't help anything either. I'm at my wit's end.

Faz - posted on 12/02/2012

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Hi to the parents of stinky children .I am not a parent I am the child of a parent like you who are have had this problem with me for over 12 years who like have passed through everything you as a parent has talked about.I have not shower for close to 2days while in high school was teased for it and for being overweight .I have been laughed at been called names you name it .I was not easy and child should go through that.



As for I remember when small I used to always shower with my cousin as we're the same age but he left and then the shower time taken started to get shorter and shorter .I don't know why but to me it seemed normal even though everyone was telling me to shower .The thing as the person who is not showering for me almost all the time I don't smell myself because my nose is always stuffy.An the more they disapprove of the short time for showering at first and with the nagging it did not help because the showers started to stop all together .Now I am older the nagging has stopped some what and I am progressively showering a little more on my own.



Word of advice don,t nag us if we stay a short time in the shower usually we soap very fast .For me I am flash I Soap while under the water and usual takes less than 2 mins . Also your kid more than likely doesn't smell themselves some of us tend not to like anti persperant so carry them to get perfume that they like .For now mask the scent stop telling them they smell go with .it is a rebellion thing as well if you tell me one thing I am compelled to do the opposite. Next get them a soap that they like ensure that they can smell it or like how the soap feels on their skin because I personnel have problem when the soap use to leave my skin feeling oily which did not help it also added to the problem.

Also one last tip stop constantly telling them they stink because now I have a psychological problem where whenever I am sweating even though I am not smell I I start feeling dirty like I need to shower a insecure when am around people and tend to move away from them in fright that I am smelling .which really is like feeling like everyone is going to say off with her head.



Hopefully I shed some light for some parents from the stinky kid whose has grown up but still fighting with it and showers more and for a longer time.Good luck I know you will need it .

Funnyfarm9988 - posted on 02/03/2012

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WOW. I have been having a problem with my daughter, who is 17. Her hygene is hideous. It is a battle to make her be clean. she refuses to brush her teeth and I cant make her, as she will bite me. She is 5'6" and 140 lbs, so physically putting her in a tub or shower is impossible. She has threatened to tell teachers that we did something bad to her, when we don't, its all I have you in a corner and leave me alone. The problem is that the teachers at her school have questioned me and have said that it falls under neglect. I have sat and talked to the teachers and told them how am I supposed to get her to do something that she will not and I physically cannot force her to do. She wont brush her hair either. I basically am at the point to let the teachers report me........ maybe someone else can get her to be clean. I have taken her to therapy and when asked about not being clean, she said that she likes to be dirty and that she is a tomboy and they get dirty. Yes, my child is special needs, but is very capable of doing on her own. She is delayed and has learning disabilities. So far this past 2 weeks she is taking showerm but only because she cannot watch her movies if she does not. But that will only work a few weeks and she gets bored. Its very overwhelming.,

Joy - posted on 01/19/2012

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Thank God my son finally grew out of that stage! I used to have the same problem all of you are talking about begging him to shower. When he turned 15 and started liking this one girl my older daughter that is 18 told him that girl is never going to like you if you smell you won't even have a chance with her. From that point on I couldn't hardly keep him out of the shower. I think when they find someone of the opposite sex they are interested in things begin to change!

Laurie - posted on 01/19/2012

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I thought he would change when his friends started to comment

about how he "smelled". He is in total denial about it....granted

aspies have the tendency to be that way....it has gotten better!

Amy - posted on 01/19/2012

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Omg, the people who don't understand why a teen needs to shower every day, has obviously never had to live with my 13 yr old. Her B.O. is sooooo bad, that it makes my eyes water. Ive finally come to the conclusion that the only way to make her take control of her hygiene, is to let her be teased about it. I've tried everything to protect her fromthat. I've told her how to keep Bo away. Over and over and over again. I've bought her deodorants, sprays, anti perspirants, told her to shower twice a day, it's that bad. Shes lazy and won't do it. She wont even shower once a day. Her room stinks like an old sweaty hobo. So ok, fine, go out in the world and get tease, I've done all I can do.

User - posted on 12/14/2011

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Wow! I logged on to find out how to encourage my son to shower...but after reading a couple of threads including this one...I'm thinking it's not as big of a deal now. It looks like I'm not the only one with this problem. I guess if he wants to stink when he's around his friends and girls then he will stink. One day it will sink in that he needs a shower more often. As for the problem of whether or not I would directly or indirectly embarrass him...I have to say I can't believe how many parents are suggesting that...have you heard of teen depression? What's more important...your child's self-esteem or his/her body odor? As for me...I'd rather have a stinky son than no son at all.

Jenny - posted on 08/13/2010

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(Do people actually read any of these other comments before making their own?!) Re: one's "personal hygiene" PLEASE, please, tell me, "ALL THE REASONS WHY" (I would love to hear this)!? Is it a crime if you don't (have good hygiene habits), & are you afraid that you will go to jail?! Are you afraid that you are going to get sick & die?! Why does this topic seem to be a matter of life or death to most people?! BOTTOM LINE: to have poor hygiene is simply not SOCIALLY acceptable BUT it will NOT send you to HELL!

Evelyn - posted on 08/13/2010

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Hello, i thought that it was just the boys who tend to do that but you must insist that she does and explain all the reasons why, I was having that problem with my son and he is 17 so try talking and I hope it helps

Jenny - posted on 08/12/2010

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OMG! What planet are most of you living on?! The majority of comments posted here are based on fantasy, not reality! Seriously people! It's OK! The, "shower police" are not going to come & take you away! Honest!

Pamela - posted on 08/11/2010

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I used to have that problem, till boys started to notice, now she showers before and after school.

WickedLizzie - posted on 08/08/2010

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First of all, why do you want your teenager to shower every single day? Does she work out every day and sweat a lot?

Showering every day is not necessarily healthy for your skin. It removes essential oils that your body produces, removes beneficial bacteria from your skin and scalp, is bad for the environment, and you are sending a message to your teen that she is dirty.
http://www.health24.com/news/Bacterial_d...,35215.asp

That is a link to a report about showering every day and the I'll effects of it. I don't agree with limiting the showering to once a week, but I think every other day is appropriate unless your girl is in sports or exercises and sweats a lot.

Secondly, it is normal for kids to not want to shower regularly. I think a lot of it is just laziness, but I will tell you how I got my boys to do it on a regular basis.

I sat them down and explained hygiene to them, then I put up a calendar with a daily schedule of who showered when and used a kitchen timer to help them limit the shower to about 7 minutes. Then I bought them whatever antiperspirant they wanted, and either aftershave, cologne or Axe body spray (they liked the Axe the best).

Kids need to know what is expected of them and sometimes they need reminders, even about showering. This is just my opinion, ymmv.

Good luck!

Charlene - posted on 08/04/2010

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have you tried asking her why? sometimes we can get better results that way. Maybe after you know her reason you will find out what to help her with to change her mind. At these ages, teenagers are starting to go through a lot of emotions. They feel good then they feel bad about themselves. She is at a very venerable age and if you are not careful, you can lose her. Right now you might want to get some books or phamlets to give her about the situation you are talking about. Also, look into something for yourself as a parent dealing with a teenager. She needs to know that she is loved, loving and lovable. It will take time to get these feelings through to her because right not she is having a hard time believing it.
Also, if she does not want to talk....be patient....look into getting her something that might paved the way for her to open up to you.....and be careful not to push.

Laura - posted on 08/04/2010

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I think this is part of every teen girl, some earlier other later but maybe they just get in a laziness time.

Anne - posted on 08/04/2010

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Actually bathing every day is WAY overrated and was started back in the early 1900s to sell soap. I'm not kidding. We have natural bacteria on the body that we scrub away daily that we actually need. That said, if she has a body odor that needs to be taken care of. Remember, millions before us lived with very little bathing but it is society's mores that have made us super conscious of body odor today. This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but just my opinion.

Sharla - posted on 08/02/2010

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Wow I thought it was just my daughter that didnt want to shower and brush her teeth. She's 10.. WOW it;s not going to get better soon?

Connie - posted on 08/02/2010

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At the cost of sounding brutal. Who is the parent here? Hygiene is a must. She needs to shower everyday, regardless. She needs to be told frankly, when a young woman becomes a certain age, the develop odors just as boys do. If you don't wash your hair, you'll have more breakouts. Not to mention oily hair. You are a beautiful young lady, and as any young lady, it requires effort. Lets start with no excuses by showering everyday and washing your face, brushing your teeth, using deodorant are a must. So lust run to Target and you can pick out exactly what you need. Soon this will become a habit. When ever you feel like trying make up or not, we can do that and make a day of it.

Heather - posted on 08/02/2010

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mine won't either! I just don't understand it. I've tried music for her in the shower, shampoos and conditioners that smell good, taking away priveleges, explaining that she's a young woman and needs to shower....I don't know what else to do! I tell her that I shower every day, as does her father, her brother and her sister. she's the only one I have this issue with and I just don't get it. I hope someone suggests something that I haven't already tried. thanks for posting this!

Tammy - posted on 08/02/2010

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I also told my teen son if he didnt shower i would get in with him, and he knew I ment it so that ended tha1 But you have to be willing to follow through or it won't work..

Quilty - posted on 08/02/2010

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Have you asked her why she won't shower?

Maybe she IS ashamed of the new changes in her body. The one thing no one has mentioned is that she may be deliberately trying to keep people (or someone in particular) away from her. Is there a chance she's being sexually abused or harassed?

Try to draw her out about what's behind not showering.

Pam - posted on 08/02/2010

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8-02-2010 time 3:30 pm
hello people its ok for anyone not to shower everyday and for the mom who said to put the child down thats not the way to do it either they will get so down on them selfs and do something you would not want them to do would you want them to run away from you or home or the very worst KILL them selfs that would be the worst thing that could happen, I don't like reqading some of these comments they are very bad ideas for anyone to give out very very bad you all can call any doctor and they will tell you its ok not to take a shower every day it does the body good your not going to get an infection either by not showering everyday my gosh thats just nuts !!!!!

Pam - posted on 08/02/2010

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8-02-2010 time 3:20 pm
hello it is ok if the child doesn't shower every day it will not hurt anything at all beleave me I have ask my daugthers doctor and he said it was alright, every other day is fine too :) heck I don't shower every day either your body needs to oil to do its job, so who ever says everyone needs to shower ever day is so, so wrong ok :) if no one beleaves this then ask a doctor.

Kay - posted on 08/01/2010

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As long as she is clean who cares if she showers daily. For some it is painful to shower daily causes skin irritation and maybe even muscle pain. If you think she is just being lazy then by whatever means necessary make sure she is at the very least washing up daily and using proper deordant -tooth brushing and keeping her hair combed. Soon you will be posting "how do I get my daughter out of the shower" absolutely agree it's a phase...it will soon pass but in the mean time you are her mom, not her friend you are the BOSS! good luck~ Kay

Lisa - posted on 07/31/2010

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Being that I have never met your daughter I have a few questions... have you asked her why she doesnt want to shower... is depression a possiblilty.... maybe some bubble bath... or something along those lines....making it more so about how she should take care of herself and that it feels good.. and that it makes us feel good.... I would stay away from the negative comments and punitive measures and make comments as to how pretty her hair is after she has showered... just a random in passing comment..."wow your hair is so shiny" kind of thing... maybe you could blow dry her hair for her... something fun and bonding between the two of you that would make her feel good....

Monica - posted on 07/30/2010

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I'll agree with Kristen and Jenny. What is it with this obsession with showering every day? If she smells or if she's physically active and sweaty, fine, she should shower, if she runs around barefoot, she should at least wash her feet. But generally a quick sponge sponge bath in the sink should do the trick. I don't tend to shower everyday unless it's hot out. I certainly don't wash my hair everyday.

[deleted account]

my 14 year old boy didn't want to shower daily for a long time. he's a "late bloomer" but recently started to really stink without even getting dirty. he'd give such flack about showering that one night, I just looked him in the eye and said you stink and until you're showered, you are NOT coming near me!" (he loves to hang out with me and I just wouldn't let him until he was clean.) it worked. sometimes I gotta remind him, but he goes without too much guff now. I also don't remind him during a favorite TV show to ease the arguments! LOL

Aisha - posted on 07/30/2010

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Well educate her on adolescence and get her a flashy deodrant or when she takes a bath give her something she likes a puff of a perfume some chapstick on her lips small deeds of these kind help sometimes

Shelley - posted on 07/29/2010

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Tell her until she learns to take a shower everyday that she can't go anywhere with you because you don't want to be embarrassed by the offensive odor and that people may think it's you. Also, you can try telling her that nobody is going to want to be around her with her poor hygeine because of the odor, good luck.

Carrie - posted on 07/29/2010

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Hi, I just give my son a time that it has to be done by. All showers must be done by 8 or he looses something he wants to do or enjoys doing. After he lost TV time for a couple of days he no longer fights about the shower. He knows if it is not done by 8 then he starts to loose out. I have started doing this with other things I want done. This way he has a choice as to when to do it or suffer the conquences.

Cindy - posted on 07/29/2010

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While you have gotten a lot of great advise here and me adding my two cents is fairly moot at this point, Lisa Winslow added the best, in my opinion. I make my younger two, boys, 8 and 13, shower every other day, and my older two are girls, 18 and 20, who shower when they feel they need to, which could be twice a day. When my 13 year old son is in athletics during the school year, I make him bathe every day or he has to get out of athletics. Period. I don't bribe him, just give him a choice of athletics and bathing every day or no athletics and bathing every other day. No ands, ifs or buts.

It seems the age is probably most of the problem. She is most likely trying to assert her independence here. You would do best by staying strong about the subject and still make it a choice for her. Either she bathes at least every other day or she doesn't get _______ (fill in the blank). It should be something she responds to or it won't work.

I wish you the best of luck. I have complete faith that you can do this in a manner best suited to you and your family. :D

Annette - posted on 07/29/2010

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I have a 14 year old going into high school. I was having the same problem with her from age 12. But in the last year she started caring more about how she looks. I think with either sex, as soon as they start being interested in the opposite sex and wanting to look good they will start taking showers more often. In fact it will be the opposite and we will be complaining that they are taking to long in the shower! lol

Joy - posted on 07/28/2010

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I have the same problem with my 14 year old son! I thought this was only a problem with boys, I didn't know girls were like this too? My three daughters spent 45 minutes in the shower and I had to run hot water in the other room to get them to get out after they were in for 45 minutes! I would like to know how to get my 14 year old son to shower every day too!

Robyn - posted on 07/28/2010

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As a consequence of both by son and daughter going through this stage, breakfast is not served in my house to people who have not yet had their shower. I only ever had to imply that lunch might not appear either, to insure full compliance.

Beth - posted on 07/27/2010

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I would agree with the wisdom that Aileen told you. I would encourage you not to embarass or threaten her, but explain the importance of keeping herself clean at all times. She's coming into an age of menstrating, if not already and other changes in her body & life. Gently talk with her about these changes as you don't want to break her spirit. Use it as an opportunity to listen & understand where your daughter is coming from.Take her to the Library or google ..." The Importance of Daily Bathing" Be consistant & pray! If all else fails, talk with her doctor and see if there is anything else you should be doing.

Jenny - posted on 07/27/2010

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Hear, Hear! Kristen R.! TY, so much 4 your posting! This is exactly what I have been trying 2 say this whole entire time (without much success, I guess)! I am so glad that u were able 2 put it in the right words, as 2 get the point across (4 me 2)! WHAT IS THIS APPARENT OBSESSION WITH BATHING EVERYDAY?! Maybe it is based on the fact that we always have heard, "Cleanliness is next 2 Godliness" (which btw, is not even in the Bible)! Hey, maybe it goes even deeper than that, in the fact that maybe people are trying to compensate 4 their, "inner dirt" idk?! BUT thx, again 4: STEPPING UP 2 THE PLATE & HITTING A GRANDSLAM, 4 SANITY, REASON, & LOGIC! :-)

Kristen - posted on 07/27/2010

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I don't shower every day, and I haven't developed infections! Most people around the world don't shower every day. Think of the savings in water, energy, and chemical production if we Americans weren't so obsessed with daily cleanliness. Some people have bodies that require more frequent cleaning, but many don't. My 15-year-old son now showers every morning, but he didn't when he was 14. Yes, he smelled sometimes, and yes, it bothered me, but he did it when he was ready. I made sure he had deodorant and understood that there may be some social consequences, and then he was in control of his decision.

Marva - posted on 07/27/2010

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Why not sit down and have a one on one discussion with her. Tell her that you are concerned about her and try to find out how she is feeling. Also talk to her about her body and the changes she is going through - puberty. If she doesn't open up, maybe there someone else she respects that can speak with her. It would be great to take her shopping for bath products. Treat her as you would want to be treated. Don't embarress her. Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

I totally disagree with the suggestion that you should embarass her. I am sure that she will soon change her habits. Just encourage her to select her own soaps, shampoos, bubbles etc.and help her to pretty up her room and general hygiene. Friends help so you could stage a sleep-over with little gift packs for everyone of nice soap etc, according to your pocket. Peer pressure is about the only thing that will influence her at thirteen! but make it positive, not negative.

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