how do you let your child go.

Marie - posted on 05/29/2010 ( 57 moms have responded )

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hi im new and could use some advice .for most of my daughters life it has been me and her,ive watched her grow to become this beutiful women.she just graduated from high school and in the fall will be goin off to collage. i know we will stay in touch and see each other on holidays so im asken anyone that gone threw it how did you handle it.

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Louise - posted on 06/01/2010

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This is really hard to step back and watch your daughter spread her wings and go. You have done a good job with your daughter you have enpowered her to take the next step in her life and equipped her with all the skills she needs to leave home.This should give you some comfort. You should be putting into place now some activities that you could get invlolved with once your daughter has left because beleive me depression and loneliness will set in. Try and take up a new hobby start now so that once she has left you are already established into a new circle of people who can support you. It will be a dificult time but hopefully you will adapt just like your daughter and hey who knows you may even find a new best friend you can spend time with to fill the gap.

Donna - posted on 06/10/2010

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Hi, my name is Donna and I have 2 grown kids. 1 girl 24 and 1 boy 22. Both live outside the home. It was hard at first, but u can do it. Ask if she minds if u send her little care packages( don't over do it)Always keep the lines open for walking. Go slow and find to do yourself that would like to do but didn't have the time.Give her space, but don't close your eye at signs something is not right. At the same time always let her know u will be there no matter what and always listen

Rhonda - posted on 06/02/2010

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Open the door and kick! lol jk. I have 4 kids all grown. But you never let go. They keep comming back. and back, and back. I stay in touch with my kids and they stay in touch with me. Your not losing them. My kids are 29, 25, 23,& 21. I talk to all of them at least once a week. The hardest one was my youngest. But now I enjoy my peace and quiet. Well.....I am raising a grandson now so the quiet went out the window. I enjoy seeing my kids do their own thing in life. Its not that your losing them, its them becoming their own person. that is awsome.

Gwen - posted on 05/30/2010

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cutting the apron strings and not enabling our children can be difficult but so worth it, I stopped focusing on "me" and started reminding myself how I felt at that age and that they (yes we have 9 kids with the last 2 just graduating from hs this spring) reminding myself they are adults and need to find their own way, make their own decisions. She needs space of her own and you can still contact her, go see her, write to her, send her money she isnt gone forever its time to make your own life and allow her to do the same. be supportive of her but dont "support" her teenagers are always yelping about their independence its time to let them have it so that they can continue to grow up.
its a fun time for you both! love her and be there when she needs you it will only strengthen your relationship for the rest of your lives!
hugs
Gwen

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Carol - posted on 09/20/2012

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what rules should you set for your daughter in her senior year how much freedom?

Sandy - posted on 07/11/2012

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WOW...I just read my reply from 2010. My daughter is now 18 and in 1 month I will be moving her to a college 3 hours away. I have such mixed emotions. I am so excited for her and excited for me. It has been so much fun buying items for her dorm room, but at the same time hectic trying to get everything done (such as car repairs, dr and dentist appts, all the paperwork the college requires, etc.) I'm still looking forward to the "me" time and I have adopted a little 1 1/2 yr old, 3 lb Yorkie so I have a new "baby" to take care of when my daughter leaves.

Francine - posted on 07/11/2012

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When my youngest moved away to college last year it was the hardest thing ever. After we moved her in I cried all the way home. I cried for weeks. But the good news is I got over it. I realized that now it was time to change our relationship even more so I talked to her. I let her know that I understood there was gonna be some choices she made in the future that I may or may not like but if she gave me the opportunity I wanted to be here to listen to all her experiences. Ever since that conversation we talk more than ever. My favorite parts are when she tells me about stuff where she learned her lesson but I could never tell her I told you so. Instead inside I'm saying "YESSSSS" My daughter has been working part -time with me this summer. In September she will be studying abroad near Yosemite for the first semester of her sophmore year. She will be living about 6 hours away. I know this will be hard for me to. But she's grown up sooooo much and I tell her every chance I get just how proud I am of her. It's been a learning experience for us both. Your daughter will be fine. Just take a step back and keep the line of communication open. Let her know your always here to listen not to judge her. She will open up like crazy to you all on her own. I hope this helps

Kristi - posted on 07/30/2010

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My son left for school last summer and I cried my way through this first year. The two things I'm most thankful for are cell phones and Facebook. We keep in touch constantly through those two things. It is free for him to call me cell to cell, and we spend hours on the phone when he gets homesick. Hope this helps. I know it hurts, but focus on how proud you are that you're child has grown into a great adult :)

Rita - posted on 07/15/2010

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IT all depends on what you think letting go is. My daughter is 30 and I havent let go, nor will I ever ! The dynamics of our relationship has changed some, she married, moved far away and has 5 kids now.. and we are still as close as ever, and share so much more now that shes a mom and a wife. THe kids growing up and moving on doesnt really ever mean you are letting go, or you have to!! ((HUGS))

Lisa - posted on 07/10/2010

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It was very hard at first because I am a single mother and it was always just the five of us. I have four daughters. I am a Christian so I prayed about it for a long time. I put my daughters in GOD's hands and somehow, that made it better for me. We talk all the time and they tell me pretty much everything. We talk so freely with each other and I know that they are alright. Everyone is different and this is my answer to letting go.

Joelle - posted on 07/09/2010

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It is very hard, but remember 1 thing - if you raised her right, you will remain as close as you did as if she was in HS.. you need to allow her to experience life and it is dealt to her, and if you support her - your relationship will grow even stronger as she gets more involved in life and becomes a mother herself. Good luck !! and remember.. BE STRONG !!

Leslie - posted on 07/09/2010

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Now is the time to create a life for yourself. You did a great job with daughter now it is your turn. Think of all the fun conversations you will have with her when you compare notes on your new lives.

Joann - posted on 07/06/2010

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You have what is called empty nest syndrome and it is very typical to have when a you children leave home. You see it coming but it does not hit you until they are gone. I thinkby just keeping in touch but not calling 10 times a day more like every other day to start out then gradualtely less. If you do not work I would consider find ing an job to fill your time.
Lean on your friends. Maybe some of them are going through the same thing or have already gone through it.

Be kind to yourself and think of some treats – for example, you could have a long lie in a scented bath. You may even come to see that although you've lost a teenager, you've gained a bathroom!

Then you can do some practical things to help you feel better:

buy some credit for your daughter’s mobile phone or a voucher to help with book costs
try to agree a time once a week when you can both have a good chatter to each other on the phone
email some funny snippets of what's happening at home.
A lot of women that go through menopausal at this time, you may consider going back to school yourself. Good luck!

Mary - posted on 07/06/2010

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my daugther move to NJ. I know there was nothing her for here I want her not have no regart like I did.i became sick almost lost my life, I had my husband here to take care of me I told her to go. I want her to have a life. she a better person for it. we keep in touch. am learning to let go of my son the only one left at home.it hurt to let go. but no matter how much we want to hang on to them we do not want to stop them from growing.

Quilty - posted on 07/06/2010

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Trust in yourself and how you raised her. Trust her to be the best she can be.

If you need something to fill your time, maybe a hobby? Or something like a book club, that will keep you connected to other people, and give you the opportunity to make new friends.

Use this time to expand yourself and your world.

Sue - posted on 07/05/2010

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Just be proud you both made it this far, she's going to collage, she didn't drop out of school. Stand proud, and say out loud that's my DAUGHTER and I helped her get there. Like mother, like daughter.

Susan - posted on 07/03/2010

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Oh man your asking someone who took it pretty hard. My oldest daughter graduated from high school, went on her senior trip and two weeks later was on her way to NYC to be with her Papa. So it was really tuff for me. I'm not going to gentle on this. I was fortunate because I have a younger daughter. She was a pistol so she really kept me busy. Marie is my oldest and she was my right arm. She helped me with everything. I really missed that. Judy was a pistol and she was so different from her sister. I missed Marie tremendously. One thing that we did was talk several times a week. It might be a good thing to try to set a time each week and on Sunday to know your putting this much time to talk to her. That was something I really enjoyed to know that I would be talking to Marie on Sunday. It gave me something to look forward to. It will be hard for you when she first leaves. Does she have any stuffed animals? How about a favorite perfume that she wears? If she does have a stuffed animal that you can keep when she leaves for college, spray the stuffed animal with her perfume and hold it at night or when you miss her. Hold it and have a good cry too and you won't believe how much better you'll feel too. I would hold mine at night and fall asleep. It just felt like I knew she would be okay.
Good luck and God bless.

Jamie - posted on 06/30/2010

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Is she an only child? my oldest daughter is 21 and she went to basic training for the army and then to college she now lives on her own. I just keep thinking i wouldnt trade with some of the parents of other 21yr olds who have drug problems attitude problems dont want to got to college or work I Just see myself as blessed She knows i will help her if i can but she tells me all the time momma i want to do it myself im 21 you shouldnt have to take care of me. And shes being a good example for the other 2 I thank God every minute of everyday for doing a great work in all three of them. One thing ive always said i want to be able to die and know in my heart they can take care of themselves:)

Natalie - posted on 06/29/2010

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Its not about you mum .You should b so happy to see growing up so wonderfully that she is able to go to college and succeed at what she wants in life. You've done a great job, so now you can go back to your life and the other things that you used to do before kids.

Nancy - posted on 06/27/2010

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First of all, congratulations - you did a great job raising an independent young woman! When it comes right down to it, that's exactly what our job as a Mom is.

Both of our daughters went away to college - one is about 1,200 miles away and the other is about 200 miles away. It tore my heart out when I had to drive away from the school with our oldest - we knew no one in the area to help her if she needed it, and it's a day and a half drive away if she needed me.

We talk on the internet almost every day, go on webcam, and talk on the phone frequently. Thank God for the internet - even if it's just a quick 5 minutes of how was your day, how are you doing... it's contact. You can keep up-to-date on her life without her being in your house.

Our youngest isn't as good at communication, and it bothered me a great deal at first. It's gotten better, and I've gotten a few "Mom, I need you!!" phone calls, which made me very happy!

The thing to remember (and something I had to learn) is that they miss you more than you expected. They're busy with school and all the frosh activities, but you're Mom - and that beats everything!

Karin - posted on 06/11/2010

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My oldest is now 42 and a mom herself. But...when she was 19 she announced that she was moving to LA to live and work - I was terrified!!! It's always been her and I and her little sister - I was single parent, so it was really hard to watch her pack up and move. But I did it and while she was gone almost a year, she grew up, learned to be responsible - altho' that really wasn't a lesson she needed - and found out that she really did miss me!! My phone bill was horrid!!! But it was the best thing I could have let her do...I won't say it didn't kill me to have her 800+ miles away, but I survived. Good luck to you and your daughter!!

Elizabeth - posted on 06/11/2010

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You never let go, you let loose! You gave her the benefit of your wisdom, love, knowledge and guidance; now you have to hope that when she leaves the safety of her home she takes it with her. 3 of my children are gone and started their own families, I have my 22 year old at home (he does work and chip in, no freebies here!) I miss them and wish we could live closer. I am just happy that their lives are filled with joy and have the chance to experience parenting and they are great parents, if I do say so myself. So, don't let go, let loose

Tami - posted on 06/11/2010

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Is she going very far away? I completely understand the feeling! My oldest daughter was born on my birthday and we share a very strong bond. I made sure I kept in touch with her very often and fortunately for me she did go very far from home. She is now married and doesn't live very far from home. Although my second daughter married a soldier and ended up moving to TX (we live in Missouri) with our first grandchild, who we helped raise for the first three years of her life. We also are very close and this separation has been the hardest. I miss them both terribly but I try to visit them as often as possible. You never truly get over missing them but it does get easier. All that said we must let them grow up and spread their wings. If your bond is strong it will not suffer. You will actually grow closer and enjoy the moments you share even more.

Bertha - posted on 06/10/2010

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Hi back. These past few years with my daughters in college have been truly hard for me. I truly went into a depression. It was mainly from the fear of not being there to protect them. Its a big scary world out there and life is hard. I finally just had to let go of the little girls and say hello to the beautiful young women they have become.I had to have trust in myself as a parent that I gave them the best life tools to make it and to tell them how proud of them I am and to remind them no matter where they are or what they do dad and I are their home and the door is always open and there will always be love and food here. I am so proud of them and you will be too. Just think, she is the best of you and she makes your life beautiful so enjoy the ride she will be going through and yes you will never stop worrying but you'll never stop loving either.

Karen - posted on 06/10/2010

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My daughter went away for 9 months on a national youth program and we didn't see her the whole time. We talked on the phone and emailed...some of it was asking for recipes and such, the rest was discussing/problem-solving around situations with roommates, etc. This period helped her recognize and get used to using her own skills and experience in her life and helped me get used to not being there every day.
I reminded her, and myself that she has the skills and values to get through rough times, seek out help or a sounding board, and above all - trust her instincts. She also discovered her own ways to celebrate and be joyous about successes and all the wonderful new stuff in her life.
It sounds like you gave her everything we can give our children - confidence in her ability to handle whatever comes her way, family so she knows she never has to face anything alone, values to give structure to her decisions, and the right to have dreams and to go after them.
Be proud of the job you did as a parent, and step back and let her fly...she'll always know her way back to you.

Laura - posted on 06/10/2010

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It's one of the hardest things to do, no matter how much you try to prepare for it and no matter how much you tell yourself that's part of life and growing up.
My oldest daughter graduated in 2004 and moved 3000 miles away 2 weeks later to go to college. We lived in Georgia and she went to California! I cried and fried chicken all day the day she packed..LOL! still can't explain the chicken but we had great fired chicken for a week. I worried so much about her being that far away and not having any family, friends or support. It's been six years now and she is still in California at UCI going to college and working on research in Molecular Biology! How wonderful she is...and how beautiful and independent she has become. We stayed in touch almost every day and continue to do so now. In leiu of our own vacations we fly her home 2 times a year to visit. I also have my second daughter and son who graduated highschool consecutively after the first in 2005, and 2006. When they both went to college they only went 3 hours away. It was still hard even though they could come home on weekends. They didn't all the time though because of work and friends. That year we moved back to KY to live close to my in laws who were getting older, 80;s, now I see all the kids about 2 times a year and they fly to see each other about 1 time a year.

Its been six years and although my husband and I have a wonderful and exciting life together, I still find myself from time to time up at 6:00 am sitting on the back porch with my coffee and bible doing devotions and I cry for 2 hours thinking not only about how I miss them but how God has been so faithful to keep them safe and help them grow into the wonderful adults they are. Now we are more friends than parent and child.. I love them and count myself blessed to be able to call them my friends.

Oh yeah! my second daughter just graduated in Dec. with batchelors degree in Nursing and is now in graduate school for Public Health Administration, my son, who is my baby and will always be pookeybear, is in his third year as a mechanical engineering major. they all three encourgaged me after 30 years to go back to school and finish my degree. As of this minute, I have just finished my third year back and I have 1 year and 1 semester of student teaching left and then I will be teaching high school Literature.....God is so good. We all plan to take a graduation trip to Italy or a cruise together when we finish in 2011...!!

Marcia - posted on 06/09/2010

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Always focus on the good things. My daughter and I are best friends, she married her husband when she was a week shy of her 18th birthday because he had to report to base on her actuall birthday. She completed her senior year of high school on her own, she became pregnant with their child, and was over 2,000 miles from home!
My daughter is my hero, we talk, text, and webcam one or all three every day. I have watched her grow from a girl, to a woman, to a mother, and a house wife, and she has done it with grace and style all her own. Yes there have been rocky spots when she calls crying but we get through it. She is homesick and I miss her terribly but I fly out to her or she and my infant grandson come to see me. She is a pro at flying and with a baby now toddler as well and alone as her husband is military and cannot always come with her.
Your daughter is a strong woman and she will show you just how strong soon.
Focus on her, not yourself and your empty nest, at least not with her. Always tell her you love her and miss her, and you will both be fine.
Marcia

Jamie - posted on 06/09/2010

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Hi Marie, I have 2 adult sons, (and 2 under a year old, 1 boy-1 girl in diapers) both my sons are married with lives of their own, in the beginning it was hard, letting them use their wings is the hardest part.....yes I suffered empty nest syndrome, for years it was all one sporting event, one Band Concert, etc after another, then nothing to do with my time.....yes they will make mistakes, but if you look back on your own life at this age, your biggest desire was to independant of your parents......I have 5 wonderful grandchildren.....I didn't really lose them, they just helped to expand my family. They call for advice, they call when my grandchildren have milestones, pictures are a must and learning to listen instead of telling them your opinion was hard for me. But in retrospect....I gave them all the tools they needed to succed and low and behold, they are doing it.......The oldest lives in NC and is in the USMC, (almost 14 yrs) so I have someplace to travel to once or twice a year and I always take at least one or both my grandchildren that are here with me when I travel. I want them all to know their cousins.....the youngest has recently divorced and he is now a single parent, I get regular calls on simple things....such as, the year and half old went from eating everything that didn't move to a being a very picky eater, since his Daddy was the same way, what could I say but, he is your child and you did the same thing.....he replied with "Wow Mom that must have been frustrating for you," yes it was, but you do the best you can to keep them fed and happy...he has told me often, had I told him what this was gonna be like, he might have reconsidered having 2 so close together. I did tell him, but he was young and knew it all, he has since discovered he doesn't know it all and phone calls and visits with Mom are a must, if I don't call him at least every other day he calls me and ask's "why haven't you called me, you know I worry about you when I don't speak to you"..big difference from "I don't need your help, I know everything already.....ok we'll see...lol.......the 2 new babies were a huge surprise.......just when my husband and I were planning retirement and travel time that did not include visiting children or grandchildren.....life played a joke on us, they are called change of life babies.....they definately change your life....lol....I was ready to see the world (so to speak) now I am back to 3am feedings, washing diapers and making bottles and my husband is working 6 days a week instead of 5.......I had a long and happy career, retired 3 years ago, now I am walking the floor with a teething 6mo old and trying to keep the 10 mo old from conquering the world at such a young age.....I agree with the other ladies, find something you like to do, find some Marie time......you'll not regret it. Good Luck.

Jamie

Joanna - posted on 06/08/2010

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Hi Marie,
I'm at exactly the same point in time! My daughter will be off to university next. We're very close and I suspect we'll stay that way, but I'll be the one missing her like crazy whilst she'll be too busy missing home/me. And this is how it should be... I'm planning on keeping busy with work and hobbies and will welcome her when she comes home or keeps in touch (She'll be in another country :-( so I'll not see her more than 2 or 3 times a year... Horror!!....) I reckon the bond will always be there though, but yes, I think we need to let go, however hard it is. They have their lives to lead and we'll be on the sidelines of it. C'est la vie!

Mary - posted on 06/08/2010

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I remember when I was teenage I read passages from "The Prophet" (by Gibran), that stated, "parents should raise their children to leave them. They come from you, but you do not own them" I did not totally understand this until I had my children. Throughout their lives I taught them everything possible that would help them into the world. But I always told them that the door would always be open. It's not easy, but you will have to trust. Hold back on the advise unless asked. Young adults want to make their own decisions and believe me, if they are not sure, they will come to you if you have kept the communication lines open. Good luck.

Kathryn - posted on 06/07/2010

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Hi Marie ♥ and everyone... well I am nearly at the empty nest, and my husband and I have 22 children all up!!!! Actually, I have 1 daughter, Sarah Diana who has just graduated Year 12 High School and is in a transition to work program at Maiwel to help her with her mild intellectual impairment. I also have 3 sons who have left home, 2 of them left at 16, so that was very hard, and my other son joined the army at 18 and is in Darwin now 4,000km away at 20. Christian is 24 now and Emmanuel 22 and has my 1st little grandson Braidyn James who is 19 months (we haven't seen him for 4 months as his mum has him 5 hours away)... so I have experienced a lot of griefs and had to pray a lot and ask God to help me and take my griefs. The reason we actually have 22 children, is my husband had 6 children in his first marriage, .. we have been married 21 years now... he also has 10 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren on the way, 1 is due today!!!!! Lillian-Storm. My husband is 73 in 2 weeks, and I am 50, so it is difficult as he has 11 different illnesses. There have also been drug and alcohol problems with some of the children to pray about and deal with. The biggest blessing at the moment is that my daughter is home 1 week/fortnight and spends the other week with her boyfriend's family 1/2 hour away in the country.
The Lord bless you Marie and all the ladies on Circle of Mums, lots of love Kathryn and family xoxoxoxo ♥

Rhonda - posted on 06/06/2010

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You know, also, my oldest son is the only one married yet. I didn't lose a son. I gained another child. His wife. She is a good mom to my grandkids, she had a baby at 15 and was responsible enough to take care of him. He is 10 now and a wonderful kid. She is young and does things different that I do but I respect her for being a good mom, taking good care of my son, and putting up with his male macho attitude. lol. So don't look at it as losing a child. you will gain another someday.

Rhonda - posted on 06/06/2010

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You know, when she gets busy in life is when you will see and communicate with her the most. My oldest son is one of those....I am 10ft tall and bullet proof, I gotta control the world, type of guys. But when stuff starts going wrong, or its going right, I get phone calls. He has to tell me everything and I usually let him talk it out then he is back on track. So when your girl is in a "pickle" or the greatest thing just happened...you will know about it. Just keep that relationship strong and tell her everytime that you love her and she will always come back. She will get busy and have a gazillion things going on and she will come to you for help or advice. Your her number one friend and she knows that.

[deleted account]

Thanks for putting this out there. My son, age 23, has been off to college for about 3 years now. I've cried a bunch but it's been a good change for him and us overall. While I miss him at times, it is good for him to do his own thing....and he stayed in touch with me more than I thought he would. It's interesting to see what kind of a man he's becoming.My daughter is next. She's only 16 but I feel the empty nest coming sooner than I'd like!

Barbara - posted on 06/05/2010

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I am new to the Circle of Moms, I can totally understand how she feels. I am a divorced Mom, with a total of 5 children. My oldest daughter left home a few years back when her and her husband received orders for Ft Hood Tx. I cried when they both left. Everytime I went to see them we both cried. We always talk on the phone, or computer etc. I also went thru changes when my oldest son left for basic training for the US Army. It left a big hole in my heart. But we also stayed in contact via letters and some phone calls. I would be so happy to get a letter from him. Now he is here with me at Ft Bliss Tx helping me out due to medical issues. I have and will cherish every moment. Always keep you line of communication open and always tell them u love them.

Lisa - posted on 06/05/2010

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It is not easy. I was just me & my son until after high school, then college, after graduating he got a job about 125 miles away. After having your best friend with you all these years, its very hard, but as time goes on it gets easier because there is nothing we can do except let them live their lives

Natasha - posted on 06/05/2010

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I already responded but I re-read your question and I wanted to say how lovely for you and your daughter to be close. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. You have the circle of moms to help you ..just remember they always will love you and need you..they just need to make a new life for themselves.

Sandy - posted on 06/05/2010

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My daughter is 16 and just like you, it has always been just me and her. It's been very hard letting her go on extended trips, but I was pleasantly surprised...she was calling and texting me all the time. I suspect when the time comes for her to move out, the phone calls and texts will continue. I don't want her to leave, but at the same time, she has been my whole life to the extent that I put my life on hold, so I am looking forward to some "me" time.

Gayle - posted on 06/04/2010

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Hi Marie. Certainly know where you are at! At the beginning of the year, my daughter just turned 18 and has gone to live in England for a year (we live in New Zealand). Although I still have my son with me, my daughter and I are very very close as it has just been me and the kids for the last 10 years.

Have faith and belief in yourself and what you have taught her. You have done your best to prepare her for the outside world and now the theory is done and it's time for the practical to start.

It was extremely hard to let my girl go but with such fantastic things as skype and facebook, she doesn't seem to be half way across the world and mum and child are both doing great lol. She regularly emails me with questions for my advice so she's never far away.

It's hard but it's also exciting as this is what our hard work up to date has been about - preparing for them for this day. She will have a ball being out there and learning things for herself but believe me, she won't leave mum in the dust, she will want to share what's happening to her with you! :)

Mary - posted on 06/04/2010

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hi marie
i am a mother of 5 children my youngest just turned 18 like you daughter she has just graduated i found it very hard and i worry about her going to collage //i am very lucky with her as she is a quite but very seniable young woman //its hard i wont lie to you i still worry about my older children and they have familys of thier own .
the only thing i cant tell you is your daughter and yourself will become closer //she will be looking for advice on different thing in her life //all i can say is make the most of BUT A MOTERS WORK IS NEVER DONE NO MATTER HOW OLD YOUR CHILD GETS .
i wish both you and your daughter the very best for the future
take care
mary xxx

Debra - posted on 06/04/2010

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I started by letting my go after 8 weeks seem abit silly but I went back to university then. He is seven now and I have a girl age 6 and I believe you gradually let them go as the grow up and it becomes a process rather than an event. D

Kay - posted on 06/04/2010

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Marie, it's a rench, emotionally, when they leave, but honey, communication in which ever media, is always available. And she is bound to know how you feel, so you get yourself together now, and sort some times when you can visit, send money, call! You've done the best you can, and if you can recall your own beginnings, an understanding wise mum is always needed!
Don't be hard on yourself, go find something that you've wanted to do...you've got time now!

Alice - posted on 06/04/2010

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A child was given to you to guide along the path of life not to posess. We parents give them roots and then whin their grown we give them wings. That's our purpose in life as parents.

Natasha - posted on 06/03/2010

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Susan, I totally agree with you. I enjoyed my twenties and learned a lot about life and happiness and adventure..I would never deprive my children of the same. :)

Susan - posted on 06/03/2010

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Actually, the 1st time they leave, it's hard (for approximately 4 months - for me anyway) and then it was "Wow" only 1 left!!! I like this. Yeah...they both moved back home again...not so great. Adult Children - what an oxymoron that is! One moved out 2 mos. ago and the next is going at the end of July. I am starting to build "MY" life all over. At times it's depressing, and that's only if I let it be but when I look at it with a different viewpoint, it's pretty darn exciting! Notice I'm doing this 2 years BEFORE my baby girl leaves...I refuse to be caught in self-pity and martyrdom about this. My job as a mother has been to give my children the wings to fly (independently) and if I can do this....I've done a good job. Find support...but if it freaks you out, seek help. Life is too short to be anything but serene (at most). Can you tell that I'm just slightly opinionated???? Just a bit, eh? :)

Maryann - posted on 06/03/2010

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Yes, It hard but you should feel proud to see her go off into the world and be productive young women. You did great Job.My went off to school in 2007 then ended up in UK working. I talk to her more now then ever and our relationship even better. Good luck!!

Natasha - posted on 06/03/2010

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I did not sleep for three months.

And then I remembered being young and the fun and possibility and adventure..and realized that my child needed my faith in them..my enthusiasm for their lives..my humor for the awkward and difficult moments born out of bad decisions..

I am very close to my nineteen year old. I hope this helps.

Wendy - posted on 06/03/2010

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We enjoy our children while they are growing up. However, we don't have them to keep them home forever. We raise them to be productive adults with their own lives. If you have had a good loving relationship with your daughter she will keep in touch and call you often. I have five children and they all call me just to tell me what is going on in their lives. They also call when they have problems. You will still be the mom, just from a distance. Find some things to do that you have always wanted to try. This is a great time to give time to yourself.

Gwen - posted on 06/02/2010

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My thought for Kimberly: I was divorced and Katie was my entire world- you HAVE to make a life for yourself and start soon. I am now remarried very happily for almost 7 years now and we are looking forward to "us" time that we have never really had- he has 6 kids I have 3, both of the youngest just graduated highschool this year- his son is moving out and taking his attitude with him and so far Katie is sticking around. It is "time" for us to get along with "our" lives. Our kids keep in touch, we see them but its time for us all to do our own thing

Kimberly - posted on 06/02/2010

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I hope so. My biggest fear is that she will get busy with life and forget me some.

Kimberly - posted on 06/02/2010

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My daughter just turned 14 in April. Her father passed away when she was six. She is my only child and it has been her and I since he passed. I don't know what I'm going to do when she leaves home. My whole world is "her". OMG, I can't imagine my life without her there everyday. WOW!!!

Donna - posted on 06/01/2010

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You take a deep breath and remind yourself it is in her best interest,then go home and cry for awhile. It gets better with time. try to find things to fill your time.You can always text and email. My daughter has been in Germany for 3 yrs. It has been almost 2 yrs. since she has been home. We talk on the phone and keep up on facebook. It is not ideal but I would not take this experience away from her for anything even though I miss her like crazy!

Deena - posted on 06/01/2010

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I am there right now. My oldest at 21 is recently married and trying so hard to be a "grown up". I am trying hard to give her space but really feel a sense of loss, as we've always been very close.

Carla - posted on 06/01/2010

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It is hard letting your kids go. I cried when all four of my left home. Keep communication open. You will hear from her more than you think.

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