How to deal with mentally ill children?

Deborah - posted on 10/04/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have a bi-polar 27 year old daughter and a 24 year old daughter who is showing strong symptoms of depression and anxiety disorder. They are both struggling with life and going to college. I'm a good mother and a nurse, do I move closer to them and leave the life I have built for myself?

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Ann - posted on 10/09/2009

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I would check out the NAHMI and DBSA websites and see if there is a support group you can attend in your area.

Dina - posted on 10/07/2009

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I have a bi-polar 20 year old who refused to take her medication. I had to do tough love with her. She moved out of state, takes her medication because she knows she needs it, has a wonderful roommate and currently has a job she enjoys. Sometimes cutting the apron and purse strings is the best thing, not only for you but for them. My daughter knows I love her and we talk on the phone all the time but I no longer take care of her. As an adult, that's her responsibility.

Michele - posted on 10/05/2009

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Loving your children is one thing but they are adults an this is a tough call. Your life is at the age you have got things as you want an is moving the answer? They are still going to need to go to the doctors, an they are still going to need help with life. so dont you think its fear to say if they have it tough they should come back home to you. where things are stable an together. There are collages everywhere an doctors too. Really think hard before you make a chose. Good luck

Cynthia - posted on 10/05/2009

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Hi I am the mother of 4 kids.My 31 year old daughter is bi-polar.It is hard to draw the line in the sand.Right now I have to deal with the things i know.First i will not be around forever to be there when she goes down so I have to let her be on her own to get the survival skills she needs and second i send money to a homeless shelter and tell her if she ever needs to go somewhere after i go she can go there.Best of luck to you.It is a wild ride Cindy

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Are you able to support them from where you currently live? I don't know how far away they are, but can you visit with them on weekends? You shouldn't have to uproot yourself. They are adults and need to be responsible on their own for going to the doctor and taking their medication. Open the door to your home and invite them back if that's what they want. Perhaps they live with you and transfer to a different college. I think those need to be decisions that they make though. Regardless of their situation they still need their independence. We all want what's best for our children and sometimes that means letting them live their lives no matter how challenging it is. I wish you and your girls all the best.

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