De Arya - posted on 06/04/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )
My sister accused myself and my 24 year old son of sexually abusing my 11 year old daughter for several years. She had my daughter for the weekend to visit her 13 year old cousin and took her to social services and put my daughter through the grilling. Of course my daughter told the truth that nothing like that ever happened to her. My poor little girl told the truth but was made to feel like she was lying. My daughter is about as honest as they come. She is a leader in her school. Was picked as a bus monitor, to make sure everyone behaves on the bus and does her job well. We are all very involved in our small Wisconsin community in one way or another.The police looked through my whole family with a microscope and found nothing. I told the police if they want to know who we are go to my daughters school. She goes to a very small tight nit school and if anything was going on with her they would know. I have been with her school for 12 years. First with my 24 year old son, my 18 year old son and now my daughter. Yes they know me pretty well.Yes I realize some kids do not tell until years later. I know children must be protected.
My sister also accused my father of sexually assaulting her and myself when we were kids which I know a 150% did not happen. My father was one of the most loving, involved parents in the world and has an amazing marriage with my kind gentle mother. These accusations are devastating to the family. My mother is dying of cancer and does not need this stress. My mother does not want my father to know of the accusations about him since this is not something he would forgive easily. My mom does not want to spend her remaining time healing my father. She wants to enjoy her time. I am respecting her wishes. Although my mother does not believe my sister her heart cannot cut my sister off. That is my mom's way. Mom wants me to get to the point by the holiday's that I can at least be polite. I am trying for mom but it is hard. Of course my family will make sure my sister is always supervised around any of my children. I am following the advice of a therapist I am seeing for stress.
My sister is schizophrenic and bipolar, but her husband of 18 years swears she knows fact from fiction. Also that her condition is being managed and she is taking her meds.
The actions I am taking. We are asking to police to determine if my sister lied or something is going on with her my brother in law is missing.
I am having the school check on my daughter to make sure I am not missing anything.
I am taking my daughter on a trip to California to see my Aunt. A trip to Oklahoma to visit my cousins and she can get to know her second cousins. I have a trip to the Wisconsin Dells at our family vacation home to have alone time with Mom. She is going to get extra time with her grandparents on my side and my husbands so she knows that she can trust her family. I am extremely concerned of the damage this situation will do to my daughter. If you cannot trust family who can you trust?
What I have learned is just how strong my daughter is I am so proud of her and have told her that again and again. If anything this situation has brought my family closer than we already were.