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Husband left after 25 years. Starting over ...

Debbie - posted on 02/06/2010 ( 492 moms have responded )

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I am 48, have 3 children, 2 boys age 25 and 22 and a daughter of 11. My husband left me last year after 25 years of marriage (he turned 50). It has been the most difficult year of my life, but full of lessons about myself and what life and marriage are all about. My children and I have a wonderful relationship. i would like to hear from other women who have been through a similar situation. I would still like to give my marriage a chance. I am passionate about marriage and parenting and work with mothers and babies. Do I push through or give up? Words of advice welcome!!! P.S. We are not talking divorce yet and are going for counseling, but he is still seeing someone else.

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Sherry - posted on 05/20/2013

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My husband left me after 28 years. My youngest is 17 years old. Ladies, watch out for an online site called meetup.com. It is a website that allows you to put in your zip code and what you are interested in. Anything from volley ball to "single , let's mingle". My husband is 49 and started playing volley ball and met people with similiar interests. He started signing up for sites that had sky diving, hang gliding, zip lining, rock climbing, you name it, they have it.

He said that we have "nothing in common", no I am not jumping out of a airplane, but this completely changed him. Mid life crisis, BIG TIME. He now has a crappy apartment, goes out every night and even markets himself as "single". He can't wait to get divorced because I am sure that it cramps his style when he has to admit to women that he is still "married". He will be 50 next month and I know this is playing hard on him.

After mutually agreeing to stay home and raise our children, all of a sudden he asks me "when are you going to start contributing to the family"!!!!!! I am 55 and my chances of finding a job are nill. He is going to have to pay me alimony for a minimum of 10 years per my attorney, probably more. Financially I will be ok, definately cutting back, but it still bothers the hell out of me. Also, as most women our age, I am over weight and he told me that he was "stuck with the fat chick".

We have 2 in college and one will be a senior in high school. He said that he can no longer contribute to their education. He doesn't have the money. Jerk. I will see to it that they all get their education.

Oh yeah, Ladies, you can look on these sites and find your husbands name and look on the calendar for that group to see what he is doing. The people will always take random pictures and post them. I have pictures of his dancing, being with women etc. Hell, it is saving me a ton of money since I don't have to hire a private investigator.

Men today are wimps. They feel like they have been cheated out of their freedom and adventurous selfs. So in their mind it is ok to leave and have the "it's all about me" attitude. He will pay for it later when he is older and the children ignore him, like they do now. I will get asked over him to all the important occasions in their life and he won't.

Good luck Ladies. Also, don't take this "it's all about me, take care of yourself" stuff that psychologist are cramming down our throats. You can take care of yourself without disregarding the feelings of others. You can also show compassion to others without deciding that you are the most important thing ever. IN other words, treat other people like you want to be treated and you will feel better.

Tina Marie - posted on 05/16/2013

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I understand and went through the same thing after 20 years together. Even after all of the chaos and destruction I waited for him, we were such best friends. However, he wanted the perks of the old us but not enough to work to build a healthy relationship. My advice? Don't wait, don't put your life on hold a moment longer. (Always remember that He won't) The reality is that, even if a miracle happened now for both of you things won't ever be the same. Neither of you will be. DON'T waste a moment of this time, pining or becoming frozen. Invest in yourself.Invest in yourself.Invest in yourself.Invest in yourself.Invest in yourself.Invest in yourself. go to school, learn something new, exercise, new style, go on day trips, obtain something new and exciting to celebrate a new you. soemthing that will give you confidence and pride. Even if it's tiny and no one else would notice. Keep a journal and write all of your fears and emotions, that will help process it all for you. Include dreams and ideas you had forgotten or gave up for others, do you still want to do the same things or have new desires? Later you can look through it to see personal growth on the days you feel lost the most. I wasted 5 years waiting for a fantasy, everyone movedone emotionally (children too) except for me. Learn from others. Don't rush 'being ok' you're not and won't be for a long time. I've read reports that said give yourself a year to grieve for every 5 together. I realized now that I mostly grieved for what I thought we would have and the future we had planned for that never happened.

Elaine - posted on 03/09/2014

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I was married to a very fine man who was always a wonderful father, a wonderful supporter, and a very good husband. For 25 years we worked together to build a good life and a good retirement. Then, suddenly, he changed. He became very withdrawn and much more self-focused than he had ever been. I tried to talk to him about his change but he was not much of a communicator and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable and push him farther away. Sex, for him, became pretty much impossible due to diabetes and medications. I accepted that as part of life and never made him feel bad or embarrassed about his inability. After about 2 years of this new and changed man, he one day announced that he "just wanted to go it alone" for the next stage of life. He broke my heart and my two grown children's hearts, and shocked everyone we knew as we were "the last couple this would ever happen to". But it did, and I'm now 3 years beyond his leaving. I am a very strong woman and am fortunate to have my own business that does well. I have a very small support group of friends and really no family left living. Many days I realize that it is my 2 kids that I live most for. I'll never understand "why" this happened and I'll never get the answers from him that I need to hear, but I put one foot in front of the other knowing that I'll never trust another man with my heart. There's just not much to give to someone else and although I am often lonely, at least I know where I stand. Sometimes I wonder if my whole life with him was built on a lie, and other times I realize that we had a great marriage for a very long time. Sometimes, I guess, you just don't get it all, for always.

Tammy - posted on 01/26/2014

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Debbie:

I just went through this. We married in 1984 (when I was 18) ... we had (what I thought) was a wonderful marriage, for 28 years. Suddenly, he was in love (with my boss!) and wanted a divorce. We have been apart for a year (divorced since July) and I am numb. He has not spoken to his children (twins, 22) since this occurred ... and they are devastated. We just don't know how to move forward, be happy, and pretend he never existed. That is why I am here. I am hoping talking to others will help me (us) to work through it. My best to you.

Tammy

Dennice - posted on 02/11/2010

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Hi Debbie!
I'm 46, have 4 children, 3 boys aged 24, 23, 11 and a daughter of 16. I was married to a German citizen and lived in Germany, where all of my children were born. After 23 years of being together with my husband, we finally separated after he had decided he no longer wanted to be father of 4 and married to me. This revelation took him the first 6 years of our youngest sons life, so the little one grew up without a dad.
I tried everything to save our marriage, and worked on it as hard as you could ever imagine. I worked on myself especially, trying to be the person he wanted me to be (whoever that was) and not until my son turned 6 did I finally wake up and realize that if being someone I am not, just to please my husband, is the only thing that would save our marriage, then apparently my husband wants someone else, and not me.
I left Germany with nothing but 3 of my kids and 8 suitcases and came 'back home' to start over again from scratch...literally.
We had no money, and it was rough. we never received any help from my ex-husband and we didn't receive government help either (long story). Thank God we moved to my old 'home town' where there are wonderful people that did help us and we made many friends.
My advice is to let go. If he is seeing someone else, you can't fix your marriage. One way or another, you will always have those questions nagging aways at you such as ' was she more loving, more beautiful, a better person'...and so on. It won't be helpful for your marriage at all. If you think you can forget everything, work to become the person he wants you to be without giving up who you really are, without losing your identity, then go for it and see a marriage counselor, work on your marriage and have a happy end.
Give your marriage a chance, but as we say in the south 'bless you heart, give yourself a chance too'. Don't ever forget that it takes two to make a marriage work, and a person might change certain aspects of their behavior, but cannot change who she or he is.

By the way, I started college in 2006 (we came back to the USA in Nov. '04) and am now working towards my Masters. I write a blog, do surveys, teach the homework club at out local school and take care of my kids. We are finally a family, which we have not been for a long time. There are some problems, but that is life and..we are continually working on our problems. Just that now, I know who I am , where I am in life, and have a goal to work towards that I know I will reach and be happy when I get there.

Debbie, you already really know what it is you are wanting to do. We make decisions and then often need confirmation. Look deep inside of yourself, take a deep breath, and go for it. One way or another...good luck.

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Ogbenispelltemplehome - posted 25 seconds ago

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*After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with
me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I
wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him
with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to
someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that
could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't
believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster
called Dr BALAYA and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that
everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me
before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it
was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call
and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that
he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and
went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since
then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship
problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the
only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and
who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the
help of the spell caster, his email: doctorbalaya@gmail.com
http://doctorbalaya.wordpress.com

Lydia E - posted on 08/27/2014

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After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.

Ellen - posted on 08/05/2014

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Well it does seem very sad that all these marriages have broken up. Basically it seems to me that that core problem starts at the beginning when you take your vows and the minister / officiator declares, "I now pronounce you man and wife". Think about that. Man and wife? Doesn't that say something about the way the relationship will go? That the man is in charge, the head, the master, the one who makes the rules and can do what he wishes with his "wife"? What is being pronounced here? That the man is now a man? NO, he is already a man. The pronouncement is to let the woman know that she is now a wife ..the "property" of that man. This is a lopsided existence.
After reading all these posts of women who were devoted to "their man" while he just decides to dispense with his old wife after so many years, I am saddened to think of so many beautiful women actually feeling like they miss this lopsided life. I say, get up, get over it, find some other love, do some good, devote your life to a worthy cause, forget the past and strive toward the upward call of God. You are the best.

Luke - posted on 07/11/2014

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He probably left because you do not respect him. Impossible to explain. Stop seeing your self as a victim and simply respect his needs. That aint gonna happen cause you are probably egotistic which is the teason he left you in the first place.

Nicole - posted on 06/27/2014

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You got my husband away from that evil woman, and back in my arms, it's been two months now, and things could not be better. He was lost and you brought him back to me. I was sceptical, but now I am a believer. Thank you so much Prophet Obaseki Lawani of owennatemple@gmail.com, I have my husband and my life is happy again . Alicia

Sherri - posted on 05/06/2014

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Maria T and Joyce you cannot tell me you honestly believe someone can do this. I too was with my husband over 27 yrs and the last thing I expected was him to find another woman especially the one he found . She just happened to be my daughter's best friend's mother I taught her girls and coached them 4 years and our families all hung out together at sporting events, church and school activities.etc. when I was teaching and coaching her kids she was banging my husband. Her husband left her and the next week she was calling my husband. There is more but we will stop there.. Because of my children I made the transformation smooth and easier for them because him getting caught was enough. After being separated for 4 years we just recently divorced. After 5 years he is still seeing her of course he will never be allowed to bring her around the kids so no family events for her Like I said for the kids I still went to Christmas and Easter etc with the in laws making all this so hard on me. But like I said it has been 5 year we still communicate because of the kid and college etc He doesn't take her to meet his mother or bring her around not even his brother. He and his best friend now (when he started hanging with this friend is when it all changed as soon as he got a divorce my husband wanted to too)now this friend works for him and his girlfriend and my ex and this gal hand out drink smoke all the things he did not do at home. I wish my family was still together a lot has happened to me since and I had to have surgery and need 2 more and it just keeps coming Maybe if I could have been able to continue my career and move on I wouldn't care but it is hard. Now you think if I get a hold of this guy he could honestly change that? No way he wants her and no longer loves me.

Sue - posted on 05/03/2014

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It is going to be a year in June since my husband of 30 years left me for one of his contractors. This was and still is devastating for me because I trusted him and I love him dearly. Emotionally I depended on him 100 % and he really was my soul mate. He was always home, we always did everything together as a family (we have two children), we have some problems mainly because his has a bad temper, but it never crossed my mind that the love of my life will walk away from me for another woman. A few weeks after he left I found out that this woman is a low life, uses cocaine, smokes pot, is an alcoholic, and sells her body for money. I am still shocked and so sad to see how the love of my life has destroyed and abandoned his family for this woman. Literally I saw this family man become a lier, selfish, and deceiving overnight. Since he left he provides for us financially, He stays in contact with our children, and he calls me and says he loves me, that he made a big mistake, and that he wants to come back home. The big problem here is that I know he is sleeping with this woman, and my biggest concern is that probably he is using drugs with her. When I question him, he denies everything and tells me that woman is garbage. I can tell by his behavior that he is lying. Every time we talked I end up crying because I love him dearly and I do not know what to make out of this mess. I want so bad to believe in him, trust him and have our family back together but I do not trust him anymore. Do I'm being stupid and weak on even thinking about putting the family together? Is he taking advantage of me because he knows I love him? Thanks for listening and I'd love to hear your comments and advice.

Joyce - posted on 05/01/2014

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If you need any help about getting your marriage or your family back pls contact this Email rajabayatemple@outlook.com or call him with this number +919738556149

Joyce - posted on 05/01/2014

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My name is Joyce from Canada i want you all to thank Mr RAJA BAYA from India this man has show me that people still have power,I was heartbroken that my husband decided to leave me for another family, so I had the Retrieve A Lover spell cast. with Dr Raja Within a week of the spell casting, he called "just to talk." After some pleasant talks and catching up, he asked to see me again.

I felt he had started to turn around. I decided to give him a chance just to see. now He is absolutely crazy about me, i thank Dr Raja for bringing back my family, if you need his help you can contact him via email: rajabayatemple@outlook.com or call him with this number +919738556149

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Joyce - posted on 05/01/2014

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My name is Joyce from Canada i want you all to thank Mr RAJA BAYA from India this man has show me that people still have power,I was heartbroken that my husband decided to leave me for another family, so I had the Retrieve A Lover spell cast. with Dr Raja Within a week of the spell casting, he called "just to talk." After some pleasant talks and catching up, he asked to see me again.

I felt he had started to turn around. I decided to give him a chance just to see. now He is absolutely crazy about me, i thank Dr Raja for bringing back my family, if you need his help you can contact him via email: rajabayatemple@outlook.com or call him with this number +919738556149

he is specialism in all kind of spell castling such as:
1. Getting your lover or husband back
2. Spiritual bulletproof
3. Training
4. Money spell
5. Long life spell
6. Prosperity spell
7. Protection spell
8. Get a job spell
9. Becoming a manager spell
10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell
11. Getting your scam money back
12. Child spell

Suzy - posted on 04/29/2014

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Most men are basically selfish pigs! After being married for 20 years this year and raising our 2 sons now 19 and 16. I feel like mine no longer puts any effort into our marriage. Is self employed which has always been a financial struggle even though I've always worked to help supplement our income and helped in our family business. I've also always done the housework, food shopping, clothed everyone and paid for most of our holidays. Now the boys are getting older and one is away at university. I feel as if we should be spending more time doing things together but he has many selfish interests that he Pursues that don't include me.

It came to a head these last holidays when my older son was back from
University for mid term semester yet my husband chose to spend most of this time away on his boat with friends. He has also recently started to complain about my cooking which I might add I have done all of it for 20 years. We rarely go out for dinner as he complains it's too expensive and hates it when i occasionally get takeaways. I also have one day off a week which he gets insanely jelous of. I am quite a social person whereas he prefers to sit at home or entertain at home and not go out but I want to go out sometimes.

I'm tired of his attitude and feel like I'm putting all the effort into our marriage and getting nothing back. Basically we don't really have any fun or enjoy each other's company anymore and I'm really
Bored! Should I be looking elsewhere? Or is this what happens after being married for so long. All I know is that I want more than this.

I've tried communicating about how I feel but he doesn't seem to really listen anymore. Not sure what to do. I'm in my early 50s and the thought of starting over financially and otherwise is quite terrifying.

Carolina - posted on 04/16/2014

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After much pain and talking he realized that he didn't love that woman but that he loved me. What I didn't say before though is that when he left me I was very ill and had no where to go. He has no children but mine became like his. They don't trust him nor approve of us getting together. Unfortunately they live abroad and have no means for helping me. I'm still emotionally shocked and I am starting to get professional help. I can barely do anything because of my physical ailments. Waiting for an operation now. No, I am not happy, after all he made me go through in a moment when I needed him the most this is still very heavy to bear

Ian - posted on 04/13/2014

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Linda Sue - posted on 04/05/2014

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After 22 years of marriage, raising 2 wonderful kids, and my husband turning 50. He is no longer happy and doesn't know if he loves me any more. Are you freaking kidding me. I have given up so much of myself, my life my time and everything else that goes with it up for this man and my family. He gets very upset with me because I tend to take the its okay road and we will fix it and everything will work out attitude which is to positive for him. He is a very negative person and I try with all my heart to show him the positive things in life but it just makes him so mad. He gets upset about everything I say or do. I still love him dearly, why I don't know because he doesn't know if he still loves me too. But now he says we may need counseling so that I can be told I am wrong and he is right or just get a divorce. A part of me says go ahead and file for divorce but the other half says no don't file you love him. He has been my best friend for ever 22 years and now nothing. He has no emotion towards me what's so ever. He never wants to do anything with me or the kids yet he complains because he says he is always left out. I am confused and never know what he wants. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I really don't know what to do. I have no family where we live he makes way more money than I do of course and knows that but at the same time how embarrassing to have a marriage fail after 22 years. I feel like a failure to no end. I am so completely heart broken. I don't think counseling will work for us. Then again maybe it will help me realize I just need to let him and this relationship go....

Tamara - posted on 03/31/2014

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You should be able to get alimony for life being married that long, don't accept the easy way out for lawyers telling you 10 years. Then ask the lawyer, "what is going to magically happen after 10 years? Am I going to suddenly be able to live without any alimony when Iam older and my health becomes worse"? There is something very wrong when a lawyer tells you only 10 years, interview different lawyers!

Tamara - posted on 03/31/2014

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Marriage counseling will not work if both partners aren't working equally on the marriage. Seems he may be buying time to hide the money, assets and/or take money out of 401 K, change beneficiary on life insurance. I learned the hard way. My husband took hundreds of thousands of dollars out of the 401K and now I've been told if I can't account where he spent the money or hid it, then it's just gone!!! Does anyone have advice on missing 401K money and did you get you're half back in the divorce???

Kim - posted on 03/26/2014

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WOW these comments have been amazingly helpful. My husband of 25 years suddenly told me he is sick of being tied down and left. I have to beg for money. We have 3 boys… 22,21 and 13. He left and hasn't even talked to our son. Its heartbreaking. He will be 50 in June. I got a job at the local school, so we could have health insurance and summers and vacations off with our son. Now I don't have the financial ability to get a decent lawyer and I know he won't do it, as he wants to use his money to have fun. Any suggestions?

Tarajade - posted on 03/25/2014

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this is happening to me im 43 years old daughters 16 and 22 and granson 15month, husband said he was going to work never came home just a text saying he didnt want me no more he had left me, he came round to see me a week later telling me he had been having an affair, i broke down and ending up having a nervous breakdown, whilst in hospital i found out he beeen stealing my money even though he wasnt with me and never payed months of rent on the house,we had just moved there two month s previously, we are now getting evicted he was such a loving husband and dad but now he is a nasty man who says he wont explain anything to us it all none of our buisness, he living with the other woman but keeps saying he finished her when he hasnt he gambeled all our money and rent money and bill money its devasting he done this tara posted 23/03/2014

Kitty - posted on 03/16/2014

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It has been almost five years and I am still struggling. Mine left me after 17 years with a three year old. I was hurt but as time goes by I am just angry because I supported his career and he took our saving. He has threatened me with taking my son who he never had much to do with before he left. For that....I can never forgive him...I have really come to realize what a soul sucking narcissist he was. I just want to get my life together and resent how he is still mucking it up. My kid is seven and I love being a Mom. I am genuinely not lonely but I am anxious about my financial situation. The more time passes..the more I think men like this are scumbags. Any man who could do this...is just not a man I can love. I hurt for years...now I am glad he is out of my life. Looking back on my marriage....I realized he was always a self centered jerk. I was nieve and as my self esteem builds....I find I am battling resentment more than anything else but what comes to my mind....I don't want to waste another moment of my life on that piece of crap.

Elaine Wagar....I find you inspiring. I think you seem like a strong woman. I am not the kind of person to feel lonely...more helpless and scared and hope some day to have a career and feel financially secure. But I wanted to say.. I am raising a son and so I have to believe there are good men out there worthy of your trust if that is what you are looking for. Like you, I just don't feel I have much heart left to give a man. My ex put me through a lot, so it is probably why I am not lonely...just emotionally tired....so peace is my "thing". I am just ready to follow my own passions...work...even if I become a janitor, raising my son who is a bladt, School, etc. I think there are probably good guys out there...but after 17 years of putting my life on hold for a man who didn't even love me....I am ready to "do me". If I meet a guy who can respect and support that....great...if not...lots of men die before there wives anyway. I never met a man who loved me like I had dreamed...but that doesn't mean I am not loveable....so now...I am ready to just love myself. (That is tough enough after years of my ex using me like a secretary and maid).

Jenny - posted on 03/10/2014

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Thats the hardest thing not having the knowledge of why. And It is so scary to try and date and get your heart broke again. One step at a time

Jenny - posted on 03/08/2014

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Its so hard I cannot tell you it will get better soon but it gets easier. Get a therapist. And make sure you get a good lawyer. And tax records.

Christina - posted on 03/08/2014

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My husband of 15 yrs left me! I am six months pregnant with our fifth child. I now have the job of tell our children that he is gone and not coming back! What makes things worse is that I have not worked out side our home for 15yrs because I ran his trucking company from home. So now I have no husband no job no source of income and four children and a baby on the way to take care of. I am lost confused angry hurt and broken! I have no idea what to do! All I want is to crawl under my blankets and hide away from the world.

Jenny - posted on 03/05/2014

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I was married for 23 years to a man that I thought was my soulmate. That all started to slowly slip away and then he told me he loved my best friend...I handled that very badly and he said he just needed to have fun. Well he did with all of our friends and partied all the time. I changed jobs because he thought it was better, I went back to school. Unfortunately many years ago he planned on leaving when our kids were old enough for him not to pay child support. He now lives in a trailer with his new soulmate and parties with my friends still. Life is funny, everything changed in the blink of a year.

Sue - posted on 02/28/2014

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sorry to hear of your situation Debbie, but I tend to think it's probably over. especially as third party involved. my husband of 23 years took off with another woman and left me with a son under 2 and a half. he eventually married a different woman. stay strong ha ha that's so not easy in such circumstances. for me its been 11 years and it still colors many areas of my life. good luck with your choice

Lucy - posted on 02/25/2014

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You clearly know what your most passionate about marriage and family. Nothing can take away what you most love. You can still love. If your husband wants to leave after 25 years because your relationship is no longer what he wants or not compatible, or he feels like he needs to have another life experience without distorting others than so be it. Hopefully he is being sensitivie and kind as he choose to leave. Maybe this is a time for you to reflex on your life, choices and challenge yourself. Sometimes these are the very things that force us to grow and change for the best. Good luck

Rinky - posted on 02/13/2014

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I am married to this man for the last 12 years and have two boys ages 6 and 3. When I got married to him he used to drink a lot and I tried and by god's grace and continues showering my love and giving him all emotional and psychological support he needed i was able to take him out of this alcohol dependency. But every other year he does something that hurts me. He drinks after every two years or so and I also caught him calling a woman which he then said was nothing serious. He also apologies and says will never do it again. I am thinking of divorcing him. Right now we are living separate but under one roof because of the kids. Oh! I hope I do not have to live with him....

Kelly - posted on 10/17/2013

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what is with all this love casting garbage? everything u do has a cost and if u think u can cast a spell on someone and not have karma bite u ...lets just say i feel sorry for all you people below ....

Carolina - posted on 08/01/2013

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I am 55 years old. I have no advice since I am going through the same thing now. There are no words to describe the pain and tears. To break up our marriage, three grown up children, grandparents to two adorable babies. A lovely home. And suddenly he wanted to separate and closely after, when I was abroad helping my daughter through the childbirth and home chores. Well he called me and told me about the woman The rest is quite awful and now I am moving from his house. He rents it from his cousins. I have never loved or trusted a man more than my husband. I am literally dying of pain

Margret - posted on 07/25/2013

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I caught mine out having an affair with a woman he met on the internet. We'd been together 25 years. He won't do counseling, I'm now 50 with no money ,I was a stay at home taking care of my diabetic daughter, he swore he wasn't seeing anyone.. Now we're living out of trashbags and boxes at a friend's house. he isn't the man I married, he isn't the man I thought I knew, and it's really hard to learn the person you thought of as your bestfriend, who swore he'd always be there was able to turn on me and throw me away like a piece of trash. He had an opportunity and she's 11 years younger than him so I imagine it's a big ego boost. I hope things work out for you. I personally have no idea how I'm going to make it work now. It's very scary.

Sandy - posted on 07/25/2013

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my husband go my husband got engaged with a woman they brok they broke up and she st and she stopped me for 3 years there's trashy women all over the internet they want a married man to financially support them you could never feel relaxed in your marriage what's between their leg my husband decided to come bac this woman followed me to and from this woman followed me to and from work road on my doors we went to court she followed my children... She kept getting our numbers after we change them she would text us I still look over my shoulder wherever I I still look over my shoulder wherever I go got securit got security cameras I still don't know ho I still don't know how she kept getting our phone numbers

Kelle - posted on 07/25/2013

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I am 48, have 2 boys age 22, and 25. My husband is leaving me after 26 years of marriage on March 24, 1997 we wed. I recently have been having medical issues for the past 2 years taking me out of my work also School work I was in training at Everest College for the past 7 months taking Medical Admissions Assistant. I was an A B student with honors until my medical issues made me have to not be able to graduate. I have been going through numerous pain medicines alone with Hypperntention,, thyroid, cholesterol. I also have spinal Disease with Chronic hip bilateral legs. I Have worked all my life until now. I need help? I want to now if I am eligible for Alimony. I need some counseling to try and get my life back together.

Ellen - posted on 07/23/2013

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My husband left me for 5 months, but was unhappy with our marriage for at least a year prior to that. It's been terribly difficult but he has returned and we're regaining what we lost and I've changed a lot. I've written a couple posts about it with some resources that have really helped.
http://marriagerecovery.wordpress.com/

Grand - posted on 07/23/2013

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Never give up hope. Many time they figure out the fling is only for a season and the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Keep the rest of the family going with no arguing or confrontations and you should have a better chance of him coming back home. Men do not like for women to tell there personal business no matter what they have done. Big Question for you. Can you forgive him? Can u never bring it up again? Can u get past his and be happy together? I have been there, done that and didn't get a tee shirt. Hugs

Marian - posted on 07/20/2013

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Five weeks ago my Husband broke up with me. it all started when i went to summer camp i was trying to contact him but it was not going through. So when I came back from camp I saw him with a young lady kissing in his bed room, I was frustrated and it gives me sleepless night. i thought he will come back to apologize but he didn't come for almost three week i was really hurt but i thank Dr. Perfect for all he did i met Dr.Perfect during my search at the internet i decided to contact him on his email perfectspellcaster3 @gmail. com he brought my Husband back to me just within 48 hours i am really happy.you can reach this man on his email address via: perfectspellcaster3 @gmail. com if you are having problem with your relationship, he can help you to solve it and return your love to you.

B. - posted on 07/19/2013

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My husband left after 18 years together. We had 2 teen daughters and I had been a stay at home mother since the first was born. He is an executive and I found out after he left that he was seeing a married coworker. Aside from the obvious pain of being left, the financial struggles have been terrible. I lost the home to foreclosure, lost my health insurance and my kids have gone through a lot of pain as well. To be honest, had I known how tough it would be post divorce, I would have put much more effort into saving our marriage. My ex promised me he would always be there for me and be a good father for the girls. It didn't happen. He rarely speaks with me or his kids and spends his free time partying. I don't even know who he is anymore and he was my best friend for 20 years.
Is your husband willing to seek counseling? I would strongly recommend it. That would be my advice from the "other side". Best of luck.

Denette - posted on 07/19/2013

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I have not been in this situation, but my mom went through it with my dad. He moved out and started seeing someone else. She went to counseling to deal with it, and, oddly, they would go on dates. Eventually he dropped the other lady and moved back in with my mom. It took 2 years. By then she had become a very strong, independent woman. I think he was really attracted to that.

Ellen - posted on 06/27/2013

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I am very very sorry for your loss. I too was very devastated. I still have uncontrollable crying spells. But each day gets a little better. I have to force myself to put one foot in front of the other some days. My husband of 20 years was having several affairs. I kicked him out if the house. He left me and our three kids to marry one of his lovers. I often do not have the energy or motivation to do anything I have missed days of work. Ill take three steps forward and two steps backwards. But I would never ever go back with him. I refuse to let him walk all over me. If your husband is still seeing other people, he is not committed to your marriage. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Also, most counselors do not like to conduct marriage counseling. This is because usually by this point one of the parties has already decided that the marriage is over. In general, the marriage is doomed by this point. I too loved being married and was passionate about it. But it takes two to have a good marriage. I found out that my marriage was a big fake. No matter what I did, I could not make my husband become the man I needed him to be. You cannot control the other person. You can only control your responses to him. And what do your responses tell him??? Do your responses tell him that he is not allowed to tray you with disrespect ? Or do your responses tell him that he can do whatever he wants to you and walk all over you? What kind if example are you setting for your kids? Are you showing your kids that it is ok for a man to have affairs???

Ellen - posted on 06/27/2013

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After 20 years of marriage, my husband did the same thing. I kicked him out. He wanted to be free to marry one of his lovers. I do not regret this decision. He could have given me an STD or worse he could have given me AIDS. These men who have affairs and ruin their marriages are not worth the benefit of the doubt. I miss being married terribly. I miss what I thought I had with him. But it was all fake. He was just playing house. Everyone has to make their own decisions about their own life, but I could not stand to be around my husband after what he did. As the old saying goes - once a cheater, always a cheater. He does not deserve you.

Dorothy - posted on 06/25/2013

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I just came across your posting...I know it was a few years ago but I was curious as to what happened afterwards...my husband walked out on me 16 months ago and I am still devestated and I want him back...we have one son and our family is torn apart over this breakup..his family and my family...How did you move on with your life? If he came back how was that? Did he realize...my spouse is also seeing someone else. any suggestions would be great...my email address is dorthymurray@live.com

Vicky - posted on 06/17/2013

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I want to say thanks to agumagu spell temple for everything so far. To everyone who doesn’t believe in spell, I was one of those ones at first. I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to do this since I’ve tried others so-called spells casters and they did not work and was a waste of my time and money. However, when I read through the testimonials of other people at this website and after I talked to Dr Agumagu who answered all my questions and was very nice about everything, I decided to give it a try. I figured it would be my last try to get my guy back. So my story is that I was at my office when the guy I am in love with told me that he wasn’t in love with me and never will be and that he didn’t want to speak or see me again, especially since he was talking to this other girl. When I talked to Dr Agumagu, he let me know which spells would be most appropriate for me and I chose the ones that was to get him back to me and stay with me and want to marry me. As soon as he started on the spells, my guy came back into my life! It was a miracle to me and I’m so thankful for that. Things have been going well, and pretty much according to what Dr Agumagu the spell is done. I’m still waiting for the spells to completely manifest, but with all that has happened so far I’m very happy because given only four months ago in March, if you asked me or my friends if I would have anticipated how things were right now…no one would believe it! Lara. To contact him agumaguspelltemple@gmail. com

Jannie - posted on 06/12/2013

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Stay with him, my husband left me after 18 years. its been 13 years. I miss him so much. Stay, work it out. Sleeping alone sucks

Denise - posted on 05/31/2013

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with the internet ,i think a lot of marriages have broken up would like to know the statistics so easy to cheat these days, i threw husbands computer in the dam caught him at it .

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