I'm 44, he's 35, we want a child.

Celtic - posted on 05/13/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I'm 44 and getting married to a 35 year old. I could go on and on about how wonderful he is, but that's not the point ;-)
I have a ten year old daughter and they get along great. But he's always wanted his own children as well. I never wanted just one child, but the ex didn't want any more. So I want to have another child with my fiancée.
I know the medical stuff/concerns of having a baby late in life. I want to hear about the experiences of other women who've had children in there mid to late 40's. Was conception natural or with assistance? How did you handle the concern for birth defects? Was the pregnancy harder then previous?

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Connie - posted on 05/19/2011

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I had my 11 year old son when I was 42. He was concieved normally. His birth was vaginally but he was premature by a month. he did have an arythmia in his heart but it was not life threatening nor did itlast past the first month of his life. As for defects we checked the doctors for the ones that were most likely.the test would have been more dangerous than the problem.. We vetoed the test and took our chances.

Kim - posted on 05/19/2011

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I am 43 and used to swear I would never have a child after 40 even though I had my only child at 38. My soon to be ex never wanted any more kids which I deeply resent and if I were in a loving supportive relationship right now I would have another kid. As it is, I plan on adopting when the divorce is final.

Sara - posted on 05/19/2011

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I to was in the same situation my husband is 10 yrs. younger I was 43 when I concieved my daughter naturally and by surprise. We had stopped trying after eight years of trying and 1 misc. My pregnancy was fine only gained 29pounds was healthy threw the whole thing. The only thing I did not have done was the amnio test but they did do some bloodwork and the markers showed that we had a very good chance of no problems. I just felt the amnio test was to risky at my age and I really did not want to risk ANYTHING happening to my daughter. I know have a perfectly healthy 4 year old daughter who is the joy of my life. As long as your doctor says you are healthy and able to I do not see any reason why you should not try. Good luck.

Michele - posted on 05/18/2011

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I was 42 when I had my daughter. Just a little help from the fertilty doctor but didn't use IVF or IUI. My husband was also 10 years younger and neiher of us had any children. As I never had a pregnancy earlier I was unaware of how "easy" it could be. I really didn't feel that it was difficult. Yeah, you're up at night for the first few months, but you know to expect that so how is that different than any 25 year old? The birth defects issue is scary but if you convert the 1 in x number into a percentage you see that you still have a resonable chance of having a healthy child. We are still trying for another at 45! If you go to a doctor for help be prepared for the 1% chance speech and Doner egg, blah, blah, blah. It is extremely difficult to conceive and keep it. We've had numerous pregnancies. I have heard of some good results out of Israel using DHEA supplements when you are super ovulating. Also, if you are willing to go abroad there are procedures which are banned here of using donor mitochondria to help give your egg a boost in dividing/implanting as our's are err, old and sluggish. Good luck!

Sandy - posted on 05/17/2011

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Don't let anyone discourage you.. My husband and I are both 43..We have a 22 yr old, a 14 year old and an 11 year old..We've recently decided to have one more. Both of us are in good health and I had easy pregs for the first 3...I'm also in better physical shape now due to a good work out plan these past 2 years. We also are more wise and have even more patience.

If this is really what you want..don't let any one squash your dreams, I'm not :O)

ps. my 42 year old cousin just had a beautiful baby boy this spring and 2 other friends at 44 and 45..all naturally. I'm an RN and tech. is never better and people are living longer..

lol at the one who asked about brain power..40s not 80s my dear..

Fancy - posted on 05/17/2011

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My fiance' and I are the same ages and we had our daughter in January. I have a 23 and 20 and he has a 14 (all boys). As long as you take care of yourself and make sure you see your regular doctor and an high-risk ob/gyn then your fears should be minimal. I will say nothing about her pregnancy resembled the boys. I ended up with gestational diabetes and low amniotic fluid. I spent a few weeks in the hospital to monitor the fluid but all turned out well. She was born 6 weeks early and stayed in the NICU for 2 weeks because after the first week she decided to not eat. The nurses referred to her as Daphne the Diva!! She is now 4 months old and doing wonderful. The technology today helps put you at ease with being older and I truly believe my patience are greater this time around. I had a sonogram every 2 weeks so we knew how she was progressing. The doctors made sure that all of our questions were answered and no matter how many times I asked the same ones. We did not opt to have an amnio because we decided it wouldn't have changed our minds and with my age all the tests would have had an elevated number. Should you decide just try then I say YIPPEE!!! Good Luck!

Jane - posted on 05/16/2011

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My husband was 45 when we adopted our first baby. He did see her graduate from high school, but not college. When the kids were little we did fine chasing after them. It probably helped us stay in shape.

I would say if both of you are in good health you will have no problems raising babies at this time in your life. Be aware, though, that your "retirement" won't be typical. Instead of traveling or whatever, you will be paying for college.

Deb - posted on 05/16/2011

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It would selfish and foolish.That time has gone by.Do you have the energy and brain power to dedicate youself to a child this late in life ?In ten years you surely wont want to run after a ten year old.

Jane - posted on 05/16/2011

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We opted for adoption. It would have cost many, many, many thousands of dollars to have a baby biologically, and it wasn't a sure thing. For a relatively minute fraction of that cost we adopted two lovely babies. For us genetic relationships matter much less than human relationships, though.

Kimberly - posted on 05/16/2011

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IF ITS WHAT YOU BOTH WANT, GO FOR IT!! I DON'T KNOW OF ANYONE PERSONALLY, BUT YOU DO READ AND HEAR OF WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD CHILDREN LATER IN LIFE THAT ARE PERFECTLY FINE AND IT WAS NATURAL. I WOULD THINK, JUST LIKE EACH PREGNANCY, IT WOULD DEPEND ON YOU AND YOUR BODY!! BE BLESSED:-)

Barb - posted on 05/16/2011

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I had my last boy at age 42 after not having children for 14 years...it was harder than my 3 previous childbirths. But he was delivered vaginally...he is extremely healthy and the joy of our lives. The other 3 boys are out of the house now nd it is just the 3 of us and it is super. If you love your man so much the next thing is to have a child with him. It will be OK

Ferrari - posted on 05/16/2011

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Surrogate? Don't recommend you add high risk pregnancy to this list. Daughter will enjoy and love sibling either way, but a sick Mom is not her choice.

Dawn - posted on 05/15/2011

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Hi there.. My husband and I were married at the age of 41. We have a beautiful 4 1/2 year old. I was 43 years old. I have a 26 year old son as well. We conceived her naturally -though it took a while. She is our joy! The pregnancy was fine an in fact I enjoyed the pregnancy. More tired than with my first but I feel like I am a more complete mom... I know how fast this time will go so I cherish every little phase and every day!

Good luck to you and your husband...

Rochelle - posted on 05/15/2011

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I got pregnant for the first time at age 44 and had a miscarriage on the 9th week. Two months later I was pregnant again and gave birth to a very healthy baby boy one month after my 45th birthday. So yes it is possible. I am not 49 and my son is 4 and I have no regrets. Go for it!

Rayanna - posted on 05/14/2011

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I was 42 and my husband was 46. We had been together for 8 years and married for 4 1/2 and decided if we wanted a baby together we'd better get to trying. So I went off of the pill and 4 months later we were pregnant. We have a beautiful, perfectly healthy 10 month old boy. My husband wants to try for another one but I ended up with an emergency c-section with our son so I'm not really sure about doing it again. We'll see in a couple of months.

Louise - posted on 05/13/2011

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I was 38 when I had my last little one and all I can say is the odds are against you but it is not impossible. The first thing you need to do is have a hormone test to see if you are still ovulating regularly. Then go from there. The older you are the harder it is to fall pregnant and the chances of multiple births is higher because older women release more than one egg each month on occasions. I can vouch for this because the pregnancy before my daughter was triplets!!!! I lost those babies due to a blood clotting disorder that had developed over the years since having my first children.

You need to sit down and have a chat with a specialist to see what your options are. Just be prepared for feeling very very tired and having lots of swollen feet and hands. Other than that if it is something you really both want then go for it there are alot of older mums these days.

Tina - posted on 05/13/2011

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I know a few woman who unable to have children until later in life and their babies are fine and they were conceived naturally. One I know of was told the baby had down syndrome and that she should consider abortion in the end she decided to keep the baby and it turned out her baby was completey healthy and normal. It might be harder energy wise and so forth and tough on your body but if you really want another child go for it.

Hedy - posted on 05/13/2011

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Hi! I had just turned 44 when my now 10 month old was born. She is our delightful surprise! My other two are 16 and 13. Same husband. lol She is SUCH a joy. I won't kid you, the doctors will scare the beans out of you. You can opt to do testing or not. I did CVS just so I would be mentally prepared. More uncomfortable this time aches and pains wise, but manageable. I had gestational diabetes but up until labor, managed it with diet and one pill a day (the pill just the last 2 months). Had an insulin drip during labor to keep me stabilized. Very easy birth actually, unless you count all the swelling I had due to being due in a very hot summer. Try for winter if you can, lol!

My kids ADORE her and we're having a ball. If pregnancy doesn't work out, adopt. Best wishes to you!

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