i'm not her grandmother!

Stephanie - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 35 moms have responded )

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i'm 46 and have a 7yo and people often think she is my granddaugter. it doesnt bother me, i think it is funny. no way could i picture myself the mother of an adult. my 7yo is too much fun.

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Krista - posted on 02/17/2009

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I'm 42 with a two year old.  I've been asked twice if I'm the grandma...arrgghhhh, it doesn't make me mad, more like depressed!  I also have a 16 year old and 12 year old...both boys

Mary Jane - posted on 02/17/2009

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Well.. I've only had a couple of people think I'm the grandma! One from my church, who obviously never saw me pregnant because I was as big around as I am tall... and the other who was a cashier at Babies R Us - and she was my age and just assumed. Both times they were very red faced and I felt worse for them than for me. But, I keep my gray covered and my sunscreen on because I don't want it to happen again!!!

Pam - posted on 02/17/2009

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I'm happy to hear that many of you are not offended.  Having children in our late 30's and early 40's is becoming more common, but still not the norm.  My sister-in-law is offended when people assume she is babysitting because her girls were adopted from Vietnam and therefore don't look like her.  Ironically, another friend who babysits for a family of color cannot understand why people would assume the kids ARE hers.  Yet another friend is offended because people assume ALL those children can't possibly be hers.  It extends to the children as well, my redhead is sick to death of people asking where she got the red hair.  The truth is people are not insensitive, they just want to make conversation, and it's a little corny to say something like, "So tell me about these children with you today."  I've learned to relax about it.  I've just gotten used to predicted comments, I even expect them.  Think of a cutsie comback that makes you, your child and the "offender" feel ok with it.

Miriam - posted on 02/17/2009

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Well not sure if it will help but here is my story. Second marriage to man who was told he was infertile. I had two children from the first marriage (now 17 and 18) At 44 I went off the pill thinking I was ready for perimenopause and instead got pregmant. Shocking to say the least but really wonderful. My story beacme complicated when 6 months after our son"s birth my husband was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. I would love to help you any way possible. I am a Labor and Delivery nurse and have seen all ends of the spectrum!! Just try to relax and have faith. If you have any other questions let me know. Good LucK!

Kim - posted on 02/14/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



i've been mistaken for a grandmother and i was only 39 with a newborn and a 3 year old...i was insulted because i'm always told i don't look my age but younger....






 






I think THAT's the key.  It's not that YOU look older, but that there are a LOT of younger grandmothers out there now.  We have a local grocery store where on Sundays the high school kids who are moms or dads work.  I lot of young girls right out of high school who study at the hair school are also pregnant.  It's in fashion right now to have a baby young (even if your single); I see a lot of young grandmothers raising their kids' kids too.

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Krista - posted on 02/19/2009

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I LOVE some of your attitudes.  I'm going to work on mine just in case I am faced with that situation again.

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I am 53 with an 11, 14, and 17 year-old. Have never been mistaken for a grandma, partly because I am such a silly person. I often tell my children that it is part of my job description to embarrass them in public. They just laugh.

Anna-Marie - posted on 02/19/2009

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I am 45 with a daughter of 25, son of 15 and daughter of 5, believe me this wasn't planned but that's how it worked out, very often when I collect my daughter from Pre-School her friends call to her that her granny has come to fetch her. She gets quite upset and tell them that I am her mother not her granny. It is even worse when my husband collects her as he is 55 and very grey and grandpa looking.

Corey - posted on 02/18/2009

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I am 47 and have an 8 year old daughter (and 16 & 19 year old sons).  I've never been mistaken for her grandmother.  I think people assume that I am younger than I am because I have a young daughter.  However, living in a small town, where many of the moms have their children when they are young, makes me feel older.  Plus, keeping up with an 8 year old is much different at almost 48 than it was when I was in my early-mid 30's with my boys.  I joke that my daughter will have to wheel me out of the nursing home to attend her college graduation!

Janine - posted on 02/18/2009

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Hiya ladies,



I've also been asked if I'm Grandma....it actually hasn't happened in a while...the Botox must b e working!!LOL

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I have a 20 yr old...and at 40 discoverd i was pregnant, for along time wanted another ,but it never happened.then just when i gave up hope i had a little boy he's now 11 months, not had the grandma thing yet....wot will i do...one thing for sure im \so glad to have found all you over\40 mums....i was feeling alone ,but had some great news yesterday my sister who is 36 is expecting!!! now all i gotta do is lose weight get fit.....ready for toddler stage !!

Arlene - posted on 02/18/2009

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I laugh at this too.. I am 49 and have a 3year old a 4 year old a 8 year old and a 13 year old, When we go out it always gives me a chuckle as some people just do not know how to lable me and are often at a lose as on how to address me. Being able to but a lable on something gives people comfort

Nancy - posted on 02/18/2009

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 just love her with all your heart . MY mom me were  ask that question all the time. as she had me when she was 47 years old.  she did the best that she could for me. rest in peace june 25 2008 

Suzanne - posted on 02/18/2009

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Well , its happened to me too!!! I do have a few grays so I guess that threw the person that made the comment off. It was so funny I had a good laugh with the kids. It is right that people just assume. LOL

Lucia - posted on 02/18/2009

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ive been there before out to lunch with my man and baby girl she was  about year old  when this lady came over and said how nice we were to take grandchild i was upset. but with six kids and a man i can never keep my hair from going grey it never seems to last like they say on the box so i may look like a gram sometime but enjoying them all 20 years down to 7 months they grow up so fast so i dont care what people think im loving it .

Wallis - posted on 02/18/2009

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Yet another story~ I am 55yrs old and have an almost 7yr old little boy~ He is our blessing and our joy~  I have two other kids, age 30 and almost 29... Life is full and thankfully it is not a constant thing to be called his "grandma," but when it happens, i think...  yes, I love being a grandma to my 2 grandkids, but "this guy" is my precious gift of motherhood!!! Just remember gals...  We are the lucky ones!

Yvonne - posted on 02/18/2009

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I can so relate to all these posts :) I'm 42 and have 6 kids and my youngest two are 3 and 4. I'm told I don't look old but premature greying runs in our family and I have to keep dying my hair or I do look like my kids' grandma. My hubby is 45 and has had the "Aw aint it nice to take the grankids out" comment said to him a few times. We just laugh it off. My mum was 41 when she had me and I always felt bad for her as she said how embarrassed she was going to meet me at school. I never assume anything when I see adults with kids, or at least I try not to :o

Julie - posted on 02/17/2009

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Hi i am 42 and mum to isabelle 2, andrew 14, receccca 15 and elizabeth 18 when we all go out people think my husband and i are the grandparents and elizabeth mum to isabelle, my husband used to find it amazingly funny if anyone thought i was isabelles grandma - while he was playing in the garden with isabelle on the trampoline, and an old gentleman walked past and said "hey watch you back on there grandad".......it made my day !!!

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I am 54. My youngest was born when I was 43. Two older children, 23 and 20. I was so surprised. Yes, I have been called her grandmother. You what is funny, now my daughter responds with she doesn't have white hair like a grandma and I just laugh.

Tait - posted on 02/14/2009

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I also usually look younger than I am. I was also surprised that anyone would think I was the grandma. One time I was with my younger children at the car at the library while some of my older children were finishing up inside., and a white-haired lady coming by said something like, "Oh, Grandma is giving Mommy a break!" To which I replied, "I am the Mommy.!" I didn't even have grey hair then.

Eileen - posted on 02/14/2009

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Miriam, congrats for you. Can I ask how old you were when you became pregnant with your toddler? Did you get pregnant on your own? I don't mean to pry. I am trying for 18 months to get pregnant. I have one son who was born when I was 42. I had 2 miscarriages bf him. I had one miscarriage since him (at the end of Oct. 08). We are trying now with the help of a doc. I have to wait another 10 days to see if I'm pregnant this month. It's hard and I just turned 45 so I am becoming very discouraged. Just thought your story could prop me up a bit. Thanks.

Miriam - posted on 02/14/2009

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Good for you! I am 46 with a 18 month old , 17 year old and 18 year old. Whenever I go out with the baby and one of the older two, people assume it is their child. Well you know what they say about people who assumeLOL

Betty - posted on 02/13/2009

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I'll be 48 when my son goes to kindergarten! Sometimes I work out the stages my son will go through and how old I will be and I think....yikes! I hope I will be able to keep up - he's tiring me out already with his endless energy.

Taren - posted on 02/13/2009

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I have been asked the same question about 3 times. At first I was offended, but quickly got over it. I'm 46 with a 4 year old. People need to wake up and realize that now a days, women are having children later. They also should not assume that a women in her 40's or 50's with a small child is the grandmother, to me that is just plain rude. I'm proud to be an older mom of a beautiful vivacious little girl!

Eileen - posted on 02/13/2009

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that happens to a friend of mine and she also thinks it's funny. i can't imagine what people will say to me when my son is in kindergarten - i had him at 42 so when he's 5 i'll be 47! gotta keep coloring my gray hairs!

Donna - posted on 02/13/2009

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I totally agree!  I am 45yo and have a 6 year old and a 3 1/2 old.  It used to bother me when I was asked how old my grandchildren were, but now, I just laugh!  We have a blast digging in the dirt, riding 4 wheelers and getting just down right filthy playing in the mud!  I wouldn't trade my 2 boys for anything.

Sheri - posted on 02/13/2009

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hehehe. I am the mother of adult children and younger children. Just recently though I was doing my hair differently and had many people tell my 18 month adopted son to listen to Granny, nana, grandma. It was funny, especially when I or my husband would say MOM. Our last five are all adopted and we are a foster family. It wasn't until our latest one joined our home though that people began asking if we had a grandchildren. Being an older mother is at time exhausting but oh so very rewarding. Gotta love those hug! By the way I have 7 children ages 21,20, 11, 10,10,6,18months and I am 42.

Betty - posted on 02/12/2009

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I had my son when I was 43 yrs. old. At that time my first kid was 9 yrs. old. Now my son is 4 and I'm happy to say I haven't had any problems of people thinking I'm his grandmother. Sometimes they do look a little taken aback when I tell them my daughter's age. There's that look in their eyes that says, "What took you so long in between kids." Oh well!

Janet - posted on 02/07/2009

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I am sometimes mistaken as my sons grandma, I dont mind as I have a son and a grandson and they are both in the same class at school. That is fun for the teachers lol. Im known as Adams mum but Jeromes grandma. I dont really mind I think its fun and I wouldnt have it any other way.

Lisa - posted on 02/07/2009

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i've been mistaken for a grandmother and i was only 39 with a newborn and a 3 year old...i was insulted because i'm always told i don't look my age but younger....



 

Karyn - posted on 02/07/2009

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Hi there, my name is Karyn and I became a mum again for the 7th time at the age of 44....a beautiful wee boy who is now 17months old....I am always mistaken for our son's grandmother....it annoys me that people just make that assumption that just because you are older that the child couldn't possibly be yours....all they have to do is ask. My other children are son 30, daughter 24, daughter 20, son 19, daughter 17, daughter 10.

Elli - posted on 02/07/2009

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I am 51 yo with 27 and 15 yo girls. The 15 yo was born when I was 39 and my older daughter was ALWAYS mistaken for the younger ones mom and me as her grandmom. That didn't bother me too much but what did is they NEVER mistook my husband  for her Grandfather! Now my older one is making me a Grandma for real and I couldn't be happier! (as long as no one mistakes me for Great Grandma...lol )

Stephanie - posted on 02/06/2009

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my experience is that they are always embarassed. but again, i'm not offended. because i'm glad i had my child at an older age. i truly enjoy her and can provide for her and enjoy her more than when i was younger. i had plenty of time to enjoy myself and now it is all about her and me!

Sherri - posted on 02/06/2009

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Hi! I'm a 46 yo with a 9, 6, and 3 year old. My husband is 53. I have had people ask if my kids are mine? I think they thought I was their grandmom, they didn't come out and say it, but what else were they thinking? People always assume my husband is their grandfather. He coaches our 9 yo son's basketball team and last year someone came up and told him how nice it is to see grandparents so involved. He was like that's my son! I figure they probably feel worse about it than you. At least you would think they'd be embarrassed!

Barbara - posted on 02/06/2009

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I have also been mistaken for grandma. I think it's rude of people to just assume such. I have a 6 and 11 yr.old and I'm 49.

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