Is 45 too old to receive donor eggs?

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Sharon - posted on 10/06/2010

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I'm 48 years old and had my 7th baby at age 47. I had four of my children in my fourties with no help at all with getting pregnant. I have tons of energy, work at night and wouldn't have it any other way. My kids make me feel younger and if I could I would have another baby, if I wasn't so broke. LOL.

Claire - posted on 10/08/2010

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I agree with Michele. In my mothers day women had children naturally well into their forties. I know someones grandmother who only started a family at 44 and finished at 49. She had four kids and was ten years older than her husband. Before that she lived at home looking after her elderly parents. There are loads of examples of people having babies after thirty and well into their forties. I am one of them!

Michele - posted on 10/08/2010

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Nonsense Leslie. If a womans' child bearing years were between 15 and 30, mother nature would unequivocally turn off the ovulation process at 30 but it does not. Women have babies well into their 40s and certainly 30's without any assistance." Women don't have the mental and physical vitality?" What rock do you live under? And you personally know "doctors" that would stand by that outlandish thought? I believe you are 'embellishing' and I am embarrassed for you.

Christine - posted on 10/05/2010

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Rhonda, Be careful not to judge others so harshly. That is wonderful that you were able to have children in your early thirties but I think you are basing your judgements on yourself and your own personal experience. If you are running out of energy at 56, I can recommend regular exercise and eating clean will help improve your energy significantly. As for your comments, I have friends who are in their 40's and very active and in the best shape of their lives. They run in marathons, exercise 4-5 days a week, eat no processed foods, and look like they are in their 30's with no help from cosmetic doctors. They chose to build a career and home before having children so they could provide for a family. Another friend was divorced and single for over 8 years before meeting her current husband who is 6 years younger and has no children. So based on you opinion they should hang it up. Well there is the old saying "walk a mile in someone elses shoes" I think you might feel more accomodating to the idea if you had a different personal situation. Have you ever heard "God helps those who help themselves". God does bless parents in their 40's with babies all the time. Sometimes with a little help from a donor and sometimes like my own sweet grandmother who had my father at 48 with no medical assistance. Be cautious about judging others choices for you may find yourself under judgement someday and want kind and fair treatment.

Fern - posted on 10/08/2010

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@Rhonda, speak for yourself only please! Many of us have babies in our 40s and are perfectly capable of raising a child at that age. I for one am a MUCH better mother at this age than I was in my twenties. I have had kids at both ages, so I know the differences. I don't have any health problems that would indicate that I am going to die at 64 or 65, so there is no reason to believe I won't live to see my son graduate from high school or college for that matter. And I plan to be here when he gets married and has children of his own - God willing. I may not have the energy I had at 20, but there are plenty of things I CAN do with my son. I am more patient, more relaxed, and more understanding. Those are qualities I hope to pass along to this blessing that came into my life at 41. If God didn't intend for me to have a baby at this age, He wouldn't have allowed it! So please don't be so judgemental of mothers who choose to have babies later in life. There are plenty of us doing it!

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Shirley - posted on 11/09/2012

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This is something you really need to sit down and talk with your OBGYN..

Your getting very close to coming into the change of life.

Is your body healthy enough to carry full-term?

Have you been thru all the tests to see if you can get pregnant naturally?

Also do you think that you will / would have the paitence to deal with a baby at this age. and don't forget you'd be in your mid 60's when the child graduates HS.

Remember this:

Don't follow your head, because it will lie to you,

Don't follow your heart, because your heart will break.

Follow your gut, it will never steer you wrong.

Sheriden - posted on 11/04/2012

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Funny questions. I think mums of ages have days they and can't do things. Also think iof mums who have a disability. Having been a young mum and an older mum both ages have their positive aspects. I think it more a matter of your personal circumstances. Some mums work some don't some study or work part time etc..... and no mother should try to be wonder mum

Sophia - posted on 11/03/2012

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ask yourself am I too old to go the park for more for 2 hours .. running around. Am I too old to sit down on the floor playing for 2 hours. Am I too old to have birthday parties for little people of all ages.Am I too old to be doing homework everynight.Am I too old to be worrying about babysitters. Because this baby should have a mother that is fun like the other kids in daycare. Am I too old to watch kid movies or learn the new dance. ask your self?

Angel - posted on 10/08/2012

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Fern,

I have to agree with you--not only did I have my daughter with my own eggs at 44, I've seen many midlife women, very fit and healthy, who could not have children after years of trying and eventually turned to donor eggs. Check out this story of Lynn who had her beautiful son, Kyle, at 51 via egg donor: http://flowerpowermom.com/new-mom-at-fif...

Lynn is working full time in an executive position, practices yoga, and looks the picture of health. Her story is the same as many--she didn't meet Mr. Right until later, then they started trying and things just didn't work out. I think more women will be choosing the path of donor eggs as the number of women having children older continues to rise!

Shirley - posted on 10/06/2012

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Do what you want to do, as long as your Dr. says your OK...

Forget about the people who say, your to old....its NON OF THEIR BUSINESS ANYWAYS!!!!

Lily - posted on 10/01/2012

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jodi so are you saying she should not try because of her age? if it did not work for you did not mean it wont work for someone

Christine - posted on 04/07/2012

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Sheriden,

Love your update. So many wonderful blessings came through your experience. I love it!

Christine - posted on 04/07/2012

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Sheriden,

Love your update. So many wonderful blessings came through your experience. I love it!

Christine - posted on 04/07/2012

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Sheriden,

Love your update. So many wonderful blessings came through your experience. I love it!

Sheriden - posted on 03/31/2012

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Hi Vicki

so glad you read my post. I have made a photo book through an online app for Sophia. It is called Sophia's story. I put in it how Mummy and Daddy met and fell in love and wanted a baby so much. I included photos of my Doctor who passed away the egg donor. The other recipients and who we ondonated to, her ultrasound pics everything really. It has photos of eveyrone in the family with Sophia and how everyone of them loves her so much. It was my recipients idea and I thought it was lovely. There are loads of photos of Sophia just being cute in it too. I thought it was better to be upfront about everything. In Australia you can only store your embryos up to 5 years at a cost. After that you have 4 choices, use them yourself, destroy them, donate to science or ondonate. At the time you receive eggs you have to decide if you will ondonate or not... such a hard thing to consider at such an emotional and busy time. We ensured that we were following our egg donors wishes too. I would not have ondonated them without her permission. In Australia they keep records of all donor and surrogate pregnancies and births so that the children can access the records when they are adults.

[deleted account]

Sheridan that truly is an amazing story! I feel the same about my frozen embryos. We have 4 left and my kids are now almost 2.5 yrs. Will definitely donate them. Just haven't had time with twin tods to thoroughly deal with it yet. But I'm going to donate anonymously. I want it to be a couple/person that has done it all and this is they're last chance (financially). I'll find the right family through the fertility counsellor we saw. And funny you posted this now. I never go to com anymore (too hard to access through iPhone). Tonight my niece asked me how I'm going to handle telling them. Told her I've got a couple story/picture books but are more age appropriate for preschool age. Brought them down to show her and my son cuddled up to her for a story. So, she read it them (of course he didn't understand them but still enjoyed them). I'll put them away for awhile. Just thought what a coincidence you posted this on the night my kids first heard one of the stories!

[deleted account]

Sheridan that truly is an amazing story! I feel the same about my frozen embryos. We have 4 left and my kids are now almost 2.5 yrs. Will definitely donate them. Just haven't had time with twin tods to thoroughly deal with it yet. But I'm going to donate anonymously. I want it to be a couple/person that has done it all and this is they're last chance (financially). I'll find the right family through the fertility counsellor we saw. And funny you posted this now. I never go to com anymore (too hard to access through iPhone). Tonight my niece asked me how I'm going to handle telling them. Told her I've got a couple story/picture books but are more age appropriate for preschool age. Brought them down to show her and my son cuddled up to her for a story. So, she read it them (of course he didn't understand them but still enjoyed them). I'll put them away for awhile. Just thought what a coincidence you posted this on the night my kids first heard one of the stories!

Sheriden - posted on 03/31/2012

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I thought I should update you all on what has been happening for me in the last few years. I now have a 2 year old :) It was her birthday last Thursday and she is absolutely beautiful. Am I tired ... yes.... especially with her waking up at night after a recent bout of tonsilitis. She also has a number of allergies to contend with. I have the experience of having had children when I was 18 and 23 and I can tell you now I do not feel any more tired now than I did then. I actually have alot more patience than I did when I was younger and had more life pressures on me.



We had 3 remaining embryos and since I had pelvic floor issues which needed surgery to repair and ended up having a hysterectomy last year, we decided to ondonate our embryos. I found a couple through the same forum I found my egg donor through and donated our embryos to a couple over 45 living in the same state as our donor. She had a gorgeous baby girl last September 2011. It was all so wonderful to know that we helped them as someone had helped us and yes it was "Paying it forward". I have travelled up to the state they live in and we all went to our egg donors wedding... (she married her partner of 8 years) the other egg recipient was at the wedding too. Did I mention that our donor also had a little boy 8 months after we had our little girl. We all get on fine but only meet up about once or twice a year. The recipients of our embryos are planning to travel to our state in the future so it will be lovely to see them again. These things can work and should be considered. We are so happy with our decision to ondonate and the thought of not giving those little embryos at chance at life was too hard to imagine.

Christine - posted on 03/31/2012

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An update for Rhonda..I had a beautiful healthy baby boy Dec. 9th 2011 and I am 43. Is it tiring? Sometimes

Do I have then energy for it? Yes

Would I change it? Not for anything in the world!

Sheriden - posted on 11/27/2010

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I suppose the age gap plays a part here. My eldest daughter is the same age as my egg donor. Intially at meeting I would say I could talk with her no problem.
We go to a playgroup where there are mothers of all ages and I get on with all of them. It actually very nice to have a mix of ages of mothers and children. I don't really hang out with many new people now I suppose at my age I have my social network pretty well sorted out and my family takes up most of my time.

[deleted account]

I already mention it to the babeis. from day one. not like they get it obviously but still. will tailor for age appropriateness but do know it is best for them to know relatively early. don't want any issues of shame or confusion. and so not an issue for me that I'd be surprised if it was for them. am pretty open and relaxed about it. figure might be able to help someone along the way. do you like the donor as a person. like as in if you met her wold you hang ou with her (met her separately from this obviously).
and again I say...naysayers why so silent! you've spoken once, had replies and why not respond back. dialogue is healhy.

Sheriden - posted on 11/27/2010

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Vicki that is amazing. I met my donor through an online egg donor and surrogacy website. As I mentioned she lives in another state. I thought this would help to keep things balanced for all of us. Now I know with her this would not have made any difference. We keep in contact on FB and the other forum and share photos etc... Some people here do donate without meeting. But registered are kept for the children to access when they turn 18 if they want to. The counsellors in the clinics here encourage recipients to introduce the concept of "where did I come from? Egg donor" from the age of 3-4 years for the children.

[deleted account]

wow...can't imagine knowing the donor. in some ways I would have liked to, in other ways not. now I am too busy to think about it anymore! jsut on my birthday...very sepecial. a few months into our prenancy I discovered her birthday was on the same day as mine.

Sheriden - posted on 11/27/2010

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Hi everyone I have just returned from a trip interstate to see my egg donor and her new baby son. I also got to meet another recipient of her eggs and her 3 month old daughter. So as an egg donor and in her own right she is responsible for 3 babies being able to come into this world and bring the joy that they do to their families. It was so beautiful.

[deleted account]

Sheridan...same in canada. "altruistic." difficult to find obviously. man women here go overseas but I used an amer agency and I think the woman only got 5 thou out of it. she was monitored by my dr (reports sent to him daily) and flew to canada to do the retrieval. never met her but chose he through profiles. and will always be graeful to her. met a man that was a lawyer. they too did donor egg. found a loophole. the recipient cannot suggest offering money but the donor herself actually can request it.

Cheryl - posted on 11/26/2010

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I had my children before the age of 26. Was a single parent for 14 years and met my husband at 42. We have a his and hers, and my former foster type children. We also have a 11 and a 5 year old, (adopted grandchildren). So I have been a young mom, average age mom and older mom. Go for it however you choose if you want to have children. Tiring yes, exhasuting sure no matter what age. There are lots of things I don't do with these kids that I did with the older ones...sure less likely to toss a ball or ride bike with them..also less likely to yell, become frustrated..etc.. They were my unexpected late life blessing and wouldn't change a thing..even if I will have children under the age of 18 at home every year but one from the age of 19 to 64.

[deleted account]

omg give me a break. I gave birth to my twins at 40 (now 41). yes, I too was a mess in my 20s and life experience has led me to be waaay better equipped to be a mom now than even in my 30s!

I did donor egg. Let me tell you, whoever thinks it s an easy journey duh...of course it isn't. You ahve to keep in mind that many women that do donor egg have spent a fortune getting to the point they are at. Both financially, emotionally and time wise. Please don't judge woment that have children with donor eggs that are 'older moms.' we've generally gone through YEARS of hell to get to the point where we decide to do donor. who woudn't want to be successul on their first IUI?! seriously! and no mom that does it does it with the wool pulled over her eyes. she knows exactly what she is getting into because she has been obsessing about it for years!

and fyi...I did donor egg because when I was in a 'better childbearing range' I lost a pregnancy to a rare pregnancy disease called a molar pregnancy. it can turn into cancer but does so rarely. then it can be treated by a simple form of chemo which rarely does not take. I am rare. didn't and had to do full blown chemo. THAT is why I went donor egg. absolutely not looking for a pity party...my journey led me to my amazing babies. just want to help shed some light on people quick to judge. so please get off your judgemental high horses and walk a mile, then talk. actually you know what...I never wish that mile walked on anyone. probably all women experiencing infertility would agree!

why are the naysayers not responding to any of the criticism they are geting?! embarrased? scared? or just sucks?

Sherry - posted on 10/19/2010

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absolutely not too old!! I had my son at 45 and have 2 frozen embryos i plan to use as soon as i can get my son off the breast! hes 16 months old.

Sheriden - posted on 10/08/2010

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Is there anyone else out there who has a child as a result of donor eggs? In Australia egg donors cannot be paid for their donation, they donate out of the kindness of their hearts.The recipient is responsible for paying for their out of pocket expenses only.

Claire - posted on 10/08/2010

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Rhonda, I have connected with many women who have had babies in their mid and late forties without any medical intervention so God does intend for some women to do that!! I didn't get pregnant in my thirties and then out of the blue found myself pregnant at 41 and had my baby three months off my 42nd birthday. I do get a little tired some days but even the younger mothers I know say that too. I am 44 and still hope to have another and if it is to be, it will be. I don't think it's selfish at all. As somebody said on one of my blog posts 'life is a journey and each persons journey is different' http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com/...

Claire - posted on 10/08/2010

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I was totally screwed up in my twenties and only sorting myself out in my thirties so it was perfect timing when I eventually had my child! Death and illness can come to anyone at anytime. As my mother always says 'you don't have to be old to die' and we are fitter and healthier than many younger parents I know!

Fern - posted on 10/08/2010

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It all depends on your body! I am a nurse and I can tell you it has more to do with your body's current state of peri-menopause and your hormone level. Go and see a reproductive specialist and have the doctor do some tests to see what your hormone levels are. This type of doctor can tell you whether or not you are a candidate for having another baby with your own eggs or with someone else's. My mother had a baby at age 44 and I had one at age 41 and they were both with our own eggs. We were both told there was NO reason not to have another baby, because our bodies were in good condition and our eggs were still as healthy as they could be at that stage of life. Our eggs certainly weren't that of a 20 year old, but they were not so far gone that we couldn't conceive on our own. So the key is to find out where you are with some lab tests and then go from there!

Terry - posted on 10/08/2010

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If you are a mom and ytou can handle it agian, angel more power to you. go for it. but make sure your health is good to,

Claire - posted on 10/07/2010

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It's not too old! I am 44 and still hoping for another child although I am trying naturally.

Pamela - posted on 10/07/2010

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I had my first child at 40. Having a young child - at any age - is tiring! But so is my high-pressured job, my husband being out of work, my daily commute, and the depresssing daily news reports about the terrible state of the economy. So what- are we supposed to lay down and give up just because things are' tiring'? I had an unassisted, easy pregnancy, no complications, worked a full time job, inlcuding long-haul business trips to Far East etc., and gave birth naturally to a beautiful healthy baby girl. She is the greatest blessing and joy I have ever known in my life. If I had listened to judgemental people who haven't got a clue what life is like outside of their own experience, I would never have had the joy and privilege of becoming a mother. Furthermore, since I had her at the age of 40, I enjoy every single second of our time together. I am not resentful b/c my career has stalled, I am neither insecure nor immature, I have a very strong marriage with the love of my life, and I have a lifetime of experience and love to give my daughter. So for those of you so quick to judge another woman's choice (or lack of!) relating to the age at which she has a child, I say stop right there. Who are you to say when a woman should or shouldn't have a child? You are entitled to your opinion- as am I- but an opinion is just that and not something that should be used to beat women into thinking they are wrong or bad for having children when they are older. Life is hard enough! Rant over ;o)

Sheriden - posted on 10/06/2010

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I don't think 45 is too old to receive donor eggs. I received donor eggs and now have my third daughter. I had my other two daughters when I was much younger and they are now both adults. I even have grandchildren. I worked while I was pregnant and there were three other women expecting at the same time. I actually had less hassles with my pregnancy than they did. And as my mother (who had me when she was 40) said "Children keep you young".

Jodi - posted on 10/06/2010

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You're full of it Leslie! I'm in my 40's & NOBODY ever told me I didn't have the physical or mental vitality for young children. I think gross generalizations are just that--gross!

Leslie - posted on 10/06/2010

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I think so. A woman child bearing years are between 15-30. A woman in her forties does not have the physical or mental vitality for young children. Ask any MD and he or she will say the same thing.

Jodi - posted on 10/06/2010

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I was 40 when I did IVF, & we got pregnant on the 1st try. If you're using donor eggs, you have a very good chance of getting pregnant since the eggs are going to be from a 20-something year old. If you really really want to have a child & go through pregnancy, you should at least try. Otherwwise you may play the "what if" game down the road. GOOD LUCK!!

Sandra - posted on 10/06/2010

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Think hard first. The process is hard on your body and your relationship with your husband. The drugs, the procedures and the failures create stress. It doesn't always work and the success ratio is low. Be prepared with all facts before your make a decision. It took me 5 years to have success and I was one of the lucky ones I met at the fertility centre. Each situation is unique and should be discuss with a medical professional that knows your history. There is more than age, and being able to cope at an older age, and finances.

[deleted account]

Yes. Here's why--unless you are wealthy and can afford someone to do many, many things for you at home, with the child, etc., in the next couple years--trust me on this--your body will begin to slow down. You will be--God willing--64 years old when the child graduates from high school.

I was 34 with my 2nd child. He is now 22, a college senior, and I am 56. It's tiring to keep up with my kids, but I suck it up and move on. After a visit--which I dearly treasure--I CRASH for a day. So stop being selfish...make this about the child--not you. If God intended us to be parents at 45, he'd have made it a heck of a lot easier....

Christine - posted on 09/28/2010

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I think it isn't anyone elses business to judge if you have the health, love, time, and resources to raise a child then I say go for it.

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2010

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I don't think so. A friend of mine wasn't able to maintain a pregnancy using her own eggs, so she had to go the donor route when she was 42. 45 isn't much older than that. You can't help when you meet the person you want to have children with, so I think if people want children & can afford to use donor eggs, they should go for it!

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