Is a step grandmom the same as being a real grandmom?

Shell - posted on 02/28/2013

A grandmom is a grandmom is a grandmom! Step, adopted, biological...... You are that childs grandmom whether by blood or marriage. Same with all "step" anyone's in my opinion.

Alida - posted on 02/23/2013

Good on you,there is always an new beginning. Live life the best you can, love is all that count So keep going,and never give up.

Alida - posted on 02/23/2013

Good on you,there is always a new begin. Enjoy!

Mary - posted on 02/23/2013

I am so surprised at how this Question has kept going with responses for two years. I continue to feel that all of my grand babes are the same no matter how they came into our family. I have read some interesting comments about this subject. I do agree as a nana it is my Job to love each and everyone of them and it does not make a difference how far away they live. 6 of my 8 grand babes live very far away but I make the most of it when I am with them.I pray for all of you Parents and Grand Parents in your relationships with those grandbabes of yours. Parents can encourage the relationship.
God Bless you all.

Julia - posted on 02/23/2013

My son has 8 grand parents, mostly equal. Distance seems a bigger factor than anything. My parents are divorced. Both remarried when I was older. My mom remarried when I was in college. My dad remarried when I was pregnant. My son understands all these people to be his grandparents equally. His step grandmother on the other side was the reason for their divorce if you catch my drift. She has no relationship with my son at all. However she is mostly shunned by her step kids and has no relationship with them so there would be no reason to have a relationship with any of the grand kids including my son. It isn't my side of the family and they live outside the continental US so even if they were well loved the relationship would be fairly limited do to distance. My son is closest a to my mom and step father because they live nearby. If you are in close proximity the title might not mean much.

Alida - posted on 11/30/2012

Love makes the world go around,and it start at home. and you doing that!

Kristin - posted on 11/30/2012

It is the same if you let it be. My stepmother and I never got along, but she has accepted my kids as her grandkids, and treats them the same as her biological grandkids. Just love each child for themselves.

Lynne - posted on 11/27/2012

I don't think there is any reason for distinction between step children/children or their children. They should be loved unconditionally as your own. Being a Grandmother is just that!

Virginia - posted on 11/25/2012

Step-grandma is the same as grandmother unless your husband dies, in which case you may find yourself out of the family as I have. It's not the children's fault and I wouldn't have done anything any differently, but just know that it's not the same

Sophia - posted on 11/24/2012

frist of all forget about step when you are dealing with kids. if you want your grand to be love and accepted then you just be what you would want for yourself.

Chelsea - posted on 10/16/2012

My birth mother died when i was 12 (now 22), so my step Mum (who i call Mum now) has been my mother longer than m real mum.

The love is still the same :)

Suzy - posted on 10/12/2012

YES!..and do not worry about what every one else thinks or says..Just follow a loving Grandmas HEART ..Blessings!!!

SuzyGSpot.com

Princess - posted on 10/11/2012

Yes it is real. My mom's husband whom I consider my dad raised me since I was 12 years old I am now 26 I have a soon to be 5 year old and my son calls him grandaddy. I would have it no other way my son tells everybody he has 3 grandads instead of 2. There is no step grandmother father or anything in my family.

Alida - posted on 10/10/2012

the grandchildren will see you as the real grand mom! It"s the grand mother who has to tread them as her own,Enjoy the time with them!

Angela - posted on 10/08/2012

I think so if you love the grown kids you will love the new one coming along. I am 49 and will be a new step grandma next year.

Firey - posted on 10/08/2012

there's no reason why you can't be this child can't be your grandchild too (personally i'd stop using the "step" part unless the child requests or needs this added in. my kids call my best friend's mom "nana" as they were invited to call her such. Family isn't limited to blood lines and who married who.

Nicole - posted on 10/08/2012

The short of it is: Yes! Of course, being a step-grandmother is the same thing as being a Grandma! Enjoy, make efforts to connect to your step-grandchildren and congratulations!

Morris - posted on 10/05/2012

Aww!! Congratulations! Of course step grandmother is a very important role in your grandchild life. Depending on the relationship you have with your child and step daughter it can be just as important as the biological grandparent.

Karen - posted on 10/05/2012

I'm a stepmom ..my stepson has a stepson! BUT, in our family, we are all just a FAMILY...my 3 grandsons consider ME as their grandma since my stepson's biological mother has very little to do with them or the desire to see them..the younger boys (twins) only know ME as their Nana...the older boy has other grandparents but he rarely sees them except for his maternal grandfather who he adores...my daughter-in-law's mother passed away just before he was born..



I'm proud to be the Nana to whom they come if the need me or want to stay with us or need a drive somewhere...I wouldn't change a thing...having these kids in my life has been the biggest blessing I've ever known..as well as having a stepson I adore..



All 5 of them call me Nana...my stepson, his wife and the 3 boys...I LOVE it! My daughter-in-law's SISTER calls me Nana...LOL! We're just one big family ....and I hope always will be.. :)

Christina - posted on 10/05/2012

I have been in both situations ... I had one "step-grandma" who treated me like I was blood and another who treated me like someone who was just there. It all depends on what type of relationship you want with the child. While they both will always be in my thoughts, my "Maw-Maw" will always be in my heart.

J - posted on 10/05/2012

yes a child does not know difference they only know love and as long as you are willing to love them they will do the same to you>>>

Glory - posted on 10/04/2012

I am a step grandma and I believe yes by all means be a real grandma to that child. I love all my children and grandchildren blood and otherwise. It is what makes the world go 'round.

Rose - posted on 10/04/2012

To me it is. I thank god every day for the boys' step grandpa! Although we do not distinguish him as a step. He is grandpa. I am grateful that he loves the boys just like any of his biological grandkids.



As I tell other moms, it takes a special man to accept children that are not biologically his as his own. The same goes for grandparents. Especially when one is special needs (one my my sons is special needs) or the road gets rocky.



Let me tell you, their "step" grandpa (grandma passed before I ever had a chance to meet her) has been there more than either one of their biological grandparents.

Krystle - posted on 10/03/2012

a step grandmother is a real grandmother my daughter who is not my husbands actual father his mom considers her to be her own so it makes the mother or the father of the step child feel good to know that you will treat the step grandchild like your own,

Dana - posted on 10/02/2012

My step parents are every bit as much grandparents to my children as my bio parents. My children don't know the difference and love them all the same. I feel like my children are so lucky to have so many grandparents. Grandparents don't have to be steps its a beautiful thing. Enjoy your newest GRANDCHILD :)

Kimberly - posted on 10/02/2012

I got it....lol...

yes a grandmom and step grandmom are all the same...i am both....i love all my grandkids the same...they all call me mei-mom

Sandy - posted on 10/01/2012

My daughter became involved with a man who already had a child. My granddaughter lives with them full time. My daughter says that she has a ready made child. I am a grandma to her not a step-grandma. Love your children, & grandchildren....they are pure treasures!

Leona - posted on 09/30/2012

I think your grandparentship should be viewed and lived out exactly how you want it to be lived out. If you want to be an amazing , albiet human and imperfect, grandma then be just that to all your grandchildren. Regardless of how they came into your family! I believe I see in you what i see in all of my (what I like to call) "adopted grandmas." They do not take away from the grandma that I do have, but rather they complement my personification of what I want for my children to have in their grandmothers. haha. I think you are fantastic for reaching out with this sort of question. I hope I was encouraging! ^_^

Shawn - posted on 09/29/2012

Yay for her!

Shawn - posted on 09/29/2012

Love doesn't take blood. If you are a open heart there is no way you can not love a baby, especially one that is part of your family. I am a foster mom of 5 male children, okay, their not children anymore, they are all over 21, but they are my babies and always will be. I also have 3 biological sons and all of them are inseparable as friends and brothers and I love them enough to hurt anyone who would try and harm them.

Michelle - posted on 09/28/2012

Prior to my mother-in-law passing, she treated MY son the absolute same as she treated my husband and my son. In my eyes it should be that way and I was very greatful and thankful to have her in our lives even if for only a short time. She showed myself and my son that there shouldn't be a difference between the treatment of the two children, when my husband and I got together, even prior to being married she accepted, loved and cared for my son just like one of her own grandchildren. It only makes me sad that she is gone and my son's REAL grandmother has nothing to do with him and I have no living parents or grandparents so my children all miss out sadly!

Lorena - posted on 09/26/2012

Well yes I'm astep nana and the kids seem closer to me then there real one my grAndchild lives with me and not his real one

Ashley - posted on 09/26/2012

My mother in law treats my son the same way she does her bio grandchildren. My father in law and wife also do. my father in law even asked if he could be his papa jyst like the other kids...he said it would break his heart if he couldnt especially since my sons sperm donor and family have nothing to do with him. My mom also treats my step daughter like she does all my boys. I wouldnt have it any other way. Step or biological, they cant be left out. Im sooo happy all you step grandmas feel the same.

Mary - posted on 07/18/2012

I am glad everyone here has had such positive experiences. Well, I have not, when I married my husband I had 2 children that he took in as his own. But I cannot say the same about my MIL. She claimed from the start that she would love them like her own grand children but the fact is she did not. She is constantly showing partiality with her other grandchildren and always comparing them and bragging about the others and never my daughters. My daughters are 20 and 24 now and they have always known this and because of this they are not close to her. My MIL complains about how my daughters do not love her but she did this to herself. I think all children are a blessing and my MIL has missed on having a relationship with two wonderful young ladies.

Lisa - posted on 07/14/2012

I have to say that if you love your child, and like the person that they are marrying then you should accept this child as a part of your family. No matter what. The child did not ask for the situation in any way shape or form. They only ask to be loved and cared for. It does not matter where you work or what kind of job you do. This child is going to love you just as much as if he or she were from your child. Do not treat this step grandchild any differently then you would your biological grandchildren. Just remember they deserve to be loved to.. I know in our house we have a blended family and I love my children as well as step children as if they were my own and we are getting a step granddaughter in sept and I love her just as if she were of our flesh and blood. I would not trade any of my children or grandchildren for anything in this world.They are my heart. I feel so very blessed that God chose our family to bring her into. It is just another child to love and spoil.

Chaya - posted on 07/12/2012

If you had told my dad's wife that any of my step or foster nieces/nephews weren't her "real" grandchildren, she probably would have punched them out. I know I would, or my siblings would

Chaya - posted on 07/06/2012

My son's grandparents have expressed a desire to be my daughers grandparents. My first husband passed about 30 years ago. Additionally, my sister married a previously married man, if you'd told any of us that my daugther or my niece aren't the real grandchildren, they'd have gotten dope slapped if nothing else.

Onyeche Elisabeth - posted on 07/06/2012

This is a great question I think! Think it is a similar dynamic at play when adoption is involved either in terms of parenting or being a foster grandparent. I think it depends on the grandma I think. If you are ready to open your heart up to the step-grandchild and love them the way you would your own biological grandkids, then it is the same. Of course, it means as well that you are ready to open your heart to your in-law i.e. the step-grandkid's parent who is married to your child.

The law probably says differently, but families basically come down to the willingness to love and nurture as unconditionally as is humanly possible.

Amanda - posted on 07/02/2012

yes a step grandma is a real grandma...lol...im a grandma to my stepsons lil boy and i love him dearly...

Ramona - posted on 06/30/2012

I'm really glad to see such positive responses!! I too am a Mamaw to 6 wonderful Grandkids & one on the way: ) some biological some not but all loved equally as are their parents!

Stephanie - posted on 06/25/2012

I am SO grateful that my boys have their "step" grandparents...my Mom passed away 7 years ago and my Dad is in the throes of alzheimers. My first mother in law lives in Texas (I'm in NY) and my ex-father in law physically abused my kids when they were 2 and 3. My new in-laws have a granddaughter from my husband, and a grandson from their other son. All 4 children are treated equally and I can never thank them for that enough. My boys know they can call Gammy and Pop (who is also a step-dad to my husband) and they'll be right there.

Granny - posted on 06/24/2012

Some time so called "Step Grand Parents " are even better then the "regular" kind....

Suzi - posted on 06/23/2012

I am going through a divorce and my step daughter said I will always be part of her life which includes two beautiful granddaughters

Fran - posted on 06/21/2012

thanks everyone this is what I fugured but I had to ask. I love my daughter in law to death and my step son I consider my own * his birth mom is in heaven" they are very much my children and their beautiful is totally my grand son.

Jill - posted on 06/21/2012

It depends on the dynamic of your family. My kids see their step-grandparents in the same light they do their biological grandparents. Heck, my kids even have a 'grandma' that is no relation at all.

Other families have certain emotional boundaries that do not extend past biology. Stepmoms are not parents, stepgrandmothers are not recognized as being relatives, stepsiblings don't matter.

Your role will be determined by your relationship with your stepchildren. I hope it is an involved and loving one.

Fran - posted on 06/16/2012

The best thing to do is to treat all the little ones (and big ones) the same. Both my sister and sister-in-law had step grandchildren and both of them did everything they could to treat them all the same. The reward is love.

Tiffany - posted on 06/14/2012

My Grandfather on my father's side was my step-grandfather, but he was the only one I knew (my real grandfather died 7yrs before I was born). He always treated me, my brother, and our cousins like we were his "real" grandchildren. So I would say yes it is the same.

MARSHA - posted on 04/25/2012

a step-grandma, well if you feel like your child is "just" a step-child then I guess their chldren will be step-grandchildren. My daughter is just that my daughter, she has another mother but I am her mama...I DO ALL THE THINGS THAT A MOTHER DOES AND THEN SOME, the only thing I did not do was give birth to her! Her children will be my grandchildren. I feel it's what ever your heart feels, not necessarily the functions you performed or your status in a relationship. Only time she is referred to as a "step" anything is when her "UNCLE SAM" inquires.

Anna - posted on 04/25/2012

I've always told my step-daughter that although I did not carry her in my body as a growing and evolving baby, I have always carried her in my heart since the day I married her father. (Her mom would never allow her to call me "Mom" but I always told her she could call me whatever she was comfortable with.) I tell people I have two daughters (one is biological and the other is born out of the love in my heart) and one grandson. The way I look at it, if you are dating someone who has children from a previous relationship, they are part of a package deal ... you can't have one without the other!

Betty - posted on 04/25/2012

If you feel like their grandmother and they also love you, why put the step in front? You are their grandmother enjoy that fact.