Is a step grandmom the same as being a real grandmom?

Chris - posted on 04/23/2012

The baby will only know who loves him/her. It will be years before s/he can understand what a step-grandmother even means. Love the baby and s/he will be YOUR grandchild. Enjoy your little blessing!

Angel - posted on 04/23/2012

My daughter has a step grammy and grampy.They are wonderful! They accepted my child without a second glance.Actually they show her more love than her biological father's family ever has.They are there for holidays,birthdays,school programs,etc.I am blessed to have them in her life.

Amanda - posted on 04/21/2012

Yes it is the same. They can be just as good if not better than "real" grandmas.

Dee - posted on 04/21/2012

It may come down to how you are accepted in the family. I'm a step mum but my partners ex refuses to see it that way (I don't mean as their mum). She doesnt think my parents should be called grandparents, my ex is the same towards our childrens step grandparents. I hope you are viewed, treated & accepted as a grandma.

Leah - posted on 04/20/2012

My son has a Step grandma and she is just another granda to love him.

She is part of my partners family and is just as caring toward him (she my partners step mum) as she is her own kids and grandchildren.



I don't think it makes any difference if they a step grandparent or not if they love the kids all the same

Janelle - posted on 03/06/2012

hi, i have 5 grandchildren and one of them is my stepdaughters child and due to have 2 more grandchildren towards the end of the year and can't wait for them to be born, i love my step grandchildren just as much as my own grandchildren and try to see her as much and spoilt her as equal as my own.

April - posted on 03/02/2012

Absolutely being a step grandmother is the same as being a "regular" grandmother, I have 2 boys that don't have any children & a stepson who has blessed me with my only grand daughter who is 2. She is the love of my life & I love her just as much as I would any grandchildren from my birth sons. She & my stepson & daughter in law live with us right now, so I get to see her everyday, but when they get their own place I will miss her greatly. She calls me "Mom" because she can't quite get Grandma out yet & her Mom calls me Ma, but when she does & when she comes out & runs into my arms it's the best feeling there is!!

Retta - posted on 03/02/2012

I have two biological grandkids, and two step grandkids. I am as close to the step grandkids as the biological....and if you ask them, they will tell you, I am their fav gramma! LOL

Heather - posted on 03/01/2012

We have 4grandbabies and they are the most precious think to us, our oldest is a step grandbaby and she is so sweet, we don't think of her as a step, she came into our lives when she was 2 and now she is 5 and we treat her just the same as the other 3. She loves us and gets excited to see us when she comes to visit. It is just how you handle it, and others around you handle it, When we talk about our grandkids we say our 4 grandkids. I also have a nephew that my brother took on as his son when he married his mom and we just say he is our nephew and he nows that we love him the same.

CIndy - posted on 02/29/2012

The baby will never know or care you are a step grandma. The only thing they will ever remember is how much you loved them.

LuzMaria - posted on 02/26/2012

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nancy - posted on 02/26/2012

Congratulations Patricia. Between my second husband and I, we have 10 grandchildren. I came into the marriage with 2 children and he came with 3. I've often said that the only steps we have at our house lead to the front door. Yes, you will be a grandmother in every sense of the word and it won't make any difference to the grandchild. To him or her, you will simply be "grandma".

Faye - posted on 02/25/2012

Think about this situation. If the child has only known you as grandma what difference does it make if you are a "true" or a step?



My best friend has known her grandfather all of her life (41 years) yet he is a step in the true sense of the word. He married her grandma when her dad was in his late teens to early 20's. Her dad was about 30 when she was born. As far as she is concerned, he is her grandpa.

Chris - posted on 02/25/2012

Only if you and your step children/grandchildren build a real relationship. And you don't force them to like you. Be yourself, and let it come naturally.

My Dad's 3rd wife whom he married 5 weeks before he passed away from pancreatic cancer made my life hell for the last year. For whatever reason she felt she was entitled to my affection and a relationship with my children just because she married my father. She was rude, disrespectful, and talked about myself and my sister behind our back bad mouthing us for not including her in everything and our lives. She even turned our own family against us after his passing because she told everyone how much she loved us and wanted a relationship with us and we shunned her.

Please.. you can't force someone to like you, love you, or make you a part of their life.

However, if you are patient, kind, and treat your new step children and grandchildren with respect, eventually yes, you will be a huge part of their lives and they a part of yours. Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 02/23/2012

Grandmas are Grandmas no matter what the connection is. I have four grandmothers who I love and cherish very much. My biological grandmothers, my grandmother-in-law, and a women who is not related to me by any means other than being close friends with my mother and being apart of my life for as long as I can remember. The important thing is the love you give to your grandchildren.

Charly - posted on 02/23/2012

I have 2 blood granddaughters and one step grandson. We share the responsibly of raising the grandson as his father was killed in a car accident 5 years ago and the poor boy's mother is a drug addict. I treat all three children the same and they have all bonded as such, not knowing or understanding the difference. The children range between 4-9 YO and we try to do things with all 3 of them that they can all participate in. Children do not distinguish love by blood or marriage. So no matter how those children belong to your family, they are family.

Jennifer - posted on 02/23/2012

I think it varies depending on the situation! My step-mom calls herself Meme to my daughter and it drives me insane! She and my dad have only been married 7 years but I honeslty don't think it's forever, so I don't really want my kids calling her by name or even saying she is their grandmother. I have done everything possible to keep my daughter from calling her Meme short of actually telling my step-mom to stop. But my daughter will be 3 next Friday and she's finally getting to the point where she understands and will call her by her name and not meme. Like I said it depends on the situation. If you are that close to your step-children and their children, I'm sure you are just wonderful at being their grandmother.

Sofia - posted on 02/23/2012

I dont see any reason why you could not be a grandma to both your bio-grandchildren and your new step-children.Biology is not the only ting that makes people family.

WIth your explanation that you are just beginning to start to get on with your life, what I think you are trying to say is that maybe you are concern with the responsibilities being a grandmother to numerous children will have on you? I'm not sure if I have this right, so maybe you could expand alittle.

Kaye - posted on 02/21/2012

Sorry , Shelley Sedwick Donald , I have to disagree with you. if it is 100% right by you for one of your children to be given more.......why are you hiding it from the others, that will cause more resentment. i would be asking the gran in question to be gifting the gift certificates to "the kids" as opposed to the gross inequality that is occurring right now. It can be difficult, I know because sometimes a bond is bigger with one or more of our grandies, but they are all precious and none should be made to feel any less so at any time. we put too much emphasis on biology these days. we really should be grateful that we have people to love and who will love us back

Deanna - posted on 02/21/2012

I am not a grandma but I have 3 step children. I don't see them as my step children, they are my children. My parents and the rest of my family see my kids as grandchildren. I also have 2 biological children and they are all treated the same. I am truly blessed and thankful that I have all my children. I hope this helps

Jennifer - posted on 02/19/2012

Being a grandmother is very much about the love. I had 2 biological grandmothers, an adoptive grandmother and a step grandmother. My favourite, by far, was my step grandmother and I hated it when my mom's relationship with her son ended and I didn't see her anymore.

Andrea - posted on 02/19/2012

yes a step grandmother is the same thing as a grandma... just lose the step part... as long as you treat the child the same way you treat your other grandchildren there shouldnt be any promblems

Shelley - posted on 02/18/2012

Honestly it's how you look at it. I am a step mom and also a biological mom. Not a grandma yet (kids are way too young). I love my step daughter but not the same way I love my sons. I hope she THINKS I love all the same way. You can feel however you want and don't need to feel any guilt about loving them differently. My only caution is that you treat them all the same when you are together. My step daughter's grandparents (my husband's parents) give her a lot more than they give my sons, which is 100% ok by me. It's their right and privilege to do so. What we ask is that when all kids are together, it's equal. If they want to give her 100 dollars worth of gift cards and are generous enough to want to give my son's 25 each, then we ask that they give them all the 25 when they are together and give the other 75 when she is with them alone or with her mother. Kids do not understand inequities when they are young. It breeds resentment that is not their fault. But as far as how you 'feel'...it's how you feel. No one can fault you for that. It's how your behavior reflects those feelings that people may question.

Mary - posted on 02/17/2012

I'm not a step grandma but my granddaughter has step grandparents and they love her to pieces, she loves them as well. You wouldn't know that they weren't her biological grandparents unless someone told you. They play an important role in her live and I am so very grateful to them all. The more people she has to love her the happier I am.

Mary - posted on 02/17/2012

I'm not a step grandma but my granddaughter has step grandparents and they love her to pieces, she loves them as well. You wouldn't know that they weren't her biological grandparents unless someone told you. They play an important role in her live and I am so very frateful to them all. The more people she has to love her the happier I am.

Cathy - posted on 02/14/2012

I most certainly do feel the same why. I love my step-granddaughters like they were my own. I also have two grandchildren of my own, and my step-grandchildren love them just as much as I do.

Cathy - posted on 02/14/2012

I most certainly do feel the same why. I love my step-granddaughters like they were my own. I also have two grandchildren of my own, and my step-grandchildren love them just as much as I do.

Jenn - posted on 02/13/2012

Being a real grandmom is up to you.. and is really how you look at it. I myself am a stepmom technically but I don't refer to my kids as "stepchildren" unless people ask me outright. I'm only 27 and my oldest is going to be 12 so that can sometimes raise eyebrows. I think of and treat my girls just as I would my own and how I will treat my son when he arrives in the next couple months (we are adopting). Its so important to treat your step grandkids as you would your biological ones because kids are very perceptive to those kinds of things. I'm sure in the case of your family that they look at you as their prospective child's grandmom with out definition.

Jenn - posted on 02/13/2012

Being a real grandmom is up to you.. and is really how you look at it. I myself am a stepmom technically but I don't refer to my kids as "stepchildren" unless people ask me outright. I'm only 27 and my oldest is going to be 12 so that can sometimes raise eyebrows. I think of and treat my girls just as I would my own and how I will treat my son when he arrives in the next couple months (we are adopting). Its so important to treat your step grandkids as you would your biological ones because kids are very perceptive to those kinds of things. I'm sure in the case of your family that they look at you as their prospective child's grandmom with out definition.

Robyn - posted on 02/12/2012

ABSOLUTELY!!!!! Just ask my children! They love their 3 grandmothers just the same. I for one feel blessed to have 2 wonderful mothers-in-love!

Kaye - posted on 02/11/2012

i have been a mum and a stepmum to 7 children and now have 23 grandchildren. I love them all the same, for me love is love, there are no steps in it ♥

Connie - posted on 01/06/2012

My step son and his wife (I only use this term d/t he was in his 30's when I met his dad) have 3 children and I have been an involved loving and loved, appreciate and so valued by them more so than my adult son who moved from out of state with my bio grandson who is 6y/o now. I was initially very involved and this was encouraged by my son til he got his own place with his new gf ( he has full custody of his son since divorce). Now it's like I'm being told to be a "Holidays/Birthdays" only type grandmother and it's my grandson who suffers the most loss of such a valuable relationship. Heartbreaking

Julie - posted on 01/02/2012

They are babies/kids...of course they are the same! The kids don't know the difference they just know who loves them!

Michelle - posted on 01/01/2012

I think that yes, it's just like being a grandmother. As the grandmother of three little one, no step-grandchildren, my children were step-grandchildren. They were not treated the same and the hurt of growing up like that is heart-breaking. Especially because we did not live by their 'grandparents'. Please handle this new grandchild as you would any other.

Paula - posted on 12/31/2011

Please please please treat your step grandchildren the same as your grandchildren! My mother-in-law does not, and it really hurts me and my daughter. My father-in-law is great, and she loves him like her other grandfather, but to hear his wife talk about 'only having grandsons' really hurts her.

Susan - posted on 12/28/2011

Amen to no "step" is needed.

Dawn - posted on 12/28/2011

only 1 of my soon to be 13 grandchildren is by blood, I consider all of my grandchildern mine and am so greatful to their real grandmother for sharing that with me.

Dusty - posted on 12/22/2011

I would definitly consider a step grandmother the same as a grandmother. My oldest son is not biologically my husband's child, but I always make sure they treat my son the same as they do my other children. It can be extremly damaging to a child if they are not treated equally by EVERYONE in the family.

Dawn - posted on 12/13/2011

My step grandpa was the best grandpa I could I ask for. I wish I had had a step grandma, my grandmas were not good grandma's. I am grateful that my grandma married my grandpa because otherwise I would have been without a single grandparent that was worth having.

He has been my favorite grandparent my whole entire life. Most importantly don't ever make your step grandchildren feel like they are. I remarried this last year and my parents flat out let me know that they would not come to do things only with their blood grandkids when the other kids were at home. Now this is not a shared feeling on the other side. My mother in law has hurt my youngest daughter's feelings numerous times now by coming over and taking one of her blood grandkids out for a special time and not ever included my youngest daughter. It hurts me that she doesn't care. I would think she just didn't think about it but my daughter has voiced her disappointment and asked to go to no avail. My husband is supposed to be talking with his mom soon. We will see. Don't play favorites just love them because they return the love you give so easily and remember so easily the pain you inflict.

Centain - posted on 12/02/2011

You can create a relationship and a bond with any child if you love and care for them and are willing to be a grandmother, despite sharing the same DNA or not! I know this first hand as I am adopted, and have contact with both my biological and adoptive families. Its how you relate to others, not how much DNA you share.

Judy - posted on 11/27/2011

Yes, when your child married someone with children its acceptance as them being your grandchildren. How awesome for you. Our hearts hold a lot of love-congrats

Kathleen - posted on 10/19/2011

yes grandmom is the same as a real grandmom I've been 1 for 10 years

Donna - posted on 10/18/2011

Like they said in the Brady Bunch-the only "steps" in this house are the one's that lead up to your bedroom.

Kathy - posted on 10/18/2011

To:Stephanie RouleauYou need to ask her which half...dummie doesnt know brothers are thick and blood regardless of half or even none. My oldest is from my first and then we have 2 more with the second hubby they all will fight for one another and you do not pick on any of their bro's!!!!!!! Kids dont understand all that half or step when they are all raised in the same household. Your MIL is an idiot to label them as such too

Sherri - posted on 10/18/2011

Step belong in home and not families due to fact my childern my husband D2 which mean dad 2 and our grands call papa.

Stephanie - posted on 10/12/2011

For whatever reason, my MIL didn't really accept my older son as her grandchild until I had a baby with her son. Now both of the boys are her grandsons. She is also quick to point out that my boys are "half" brothers. Irks the hell out of me. Whenever she mentions it I tell her that we do not use labels like that in our family.

Carole - posted on 10/12/2011

My parents are "step-grandparents" but they treat my stepdaughters like their own. The only difference is that since the girls already had grandparents in their lives before I married their father, my parents use their first names instead of "Gramma and Grampa" with them. However, that is more out of courtesy to the biological grandparents and a consideration bc the girls were older when they became my stepdaughters since the kids just use "our grandparents" to explain who they are to others. Congrats!

Stephanie - posted on 10/12/2011

There is no reason why step-grandma should be different than grandma. My step-mother is the only grandmother that most of my nieces and nephews will ever know on my side of the family. They refer to her as Grandma Nancy as we don't really agree with the label of "step."

Jennifer - posted on 10/12/2011

Despite the fact that I am not a gramma or stepgramma yet (our oldest is only 16), I thinnk it will not change the way I feel about the child, whether it comes from a biological or step child. the only thing I can liken this question to is, does being a stepmom make you less of a mom? Enjoy the baby and love it as we love all children! Congrats btw on the new addition! ♥

Sarah - posted on 10/08/2011

i think it depends on the relationship you have with the step child. that will influence the step grandchild. the step grandmother in our lives is a complete non-entity to my children as the step parent relationship is not a good one. so why would i want her to have contact with my children?

I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear and i am sorry but thats our truth.

Good luck in yours :)