is it easy to raise two kids alone?

Kelly - posted on 05/23/2012

No it is not!!! I wore myself out doing it. I worked 12 hour shifts and paid most of my check to babysitters. I also missed seeing my kids grow up when I was working. My ex did not help and my sons Dad died so I had no days off. Is the father going to take the child when you work, pay child support etc? If not it isn't worth it. I did not have any family near enough to help so I had to just do it all. If I had all the money I payed for daycare I would be rich! I was always tired and stretching the money but we made it. Pray on it and really give this some thought. Good Luck.

Maxine - posted on 05/16/2012

Hi I am a mum off one and I mostly brought him up by myself and iv just found out I am 9 weeks pregnant and I dnot now what to do his father wants me to get abortion .he said hes not ready and he struggled with money.iv had one 4 year ago and I said to his father that I can't go through with it since its going to be the same procedure can any one help what I should do

Deneen - posted on 12/29/2009

It's not easy to raise ONE child alone. I've been a single parent since my son was born 8 years ago. It was easier when we still lived in Michigan b/c I had a network of family & friends. I moved to Vegas Jan 09 & my son came in Aug. My mom stayed for 2 weeks then we were on our OWN. I'm fine w/ it...feel alone a lot of times but it was my choice to move. He's fine & you would think it's always been this way. We're spending our 2 week Christmas break in Detroit & he has loved it. I've enjoyed the break... The past 4 months have been about him & I. In the New Year, I will take time for myself. I will let my friend's daughter babysit & get out. As mothers, we DO have to take care of ourselves in order to be whole & healthy for our children...ESPECIALLY as singles.

Joy - posted on 12/29/2009

I basically raised my 2 kids alone also, hang in there and be tough at times when needed. My son did get into trouble with the law, but now has turned around and finally getting his life together. His father was never there from the age of 4 so he looked up to his grandfather as a father.

Margot - posted on 12/29/2009

I've been there and done that. Yes, It was tough and at times I wanted to crawl into bed and stay there for days on end. However, I would never change seeing the smiling face of my two beautiful children and I even miss the hard work. It always helps if you have a good support base; Mum/Nana, Aunties, Sisters, Cousins,school Mums, etc. Playgroup helps you to get out and about and mix with other Mums and give your children play time with others. Play dates for your children can give you some breathing space, Checking out a book called Kidding around Perth was a life saver for me during the holidays, I used to collect make and do things to help keep the children occupied and it can be done cheaply by recycling paper, gift wrap, cards,etc. I know that toy libraries are a great source of keeping toys varied. I also check out bargains for or buy cheaply from supermarket stores for things like coloring pencils, crayons, and if you know someone who works in a place that uses butcher paper or printer paper it can save heaps. Op shops are great for saving on toys and clothing and can be good fun for something to do. I found that checking out cheap times for movies saved money, visits to the zoo, nanna's or getting involved with other parents at school are a great idea to keep you sane. Making sure you have me time is essential. The weekend away with Dad or Nana or Aunty or Sister or check out local day care of family day care for casual time/relief days. Have a basic schedule to help you get through the tough times. Make up food for a few days in advance and keep ready in the freezer in case you just don't feel like cooking or aren't feeling well. Keep a list of emergency numbers handy - that includes medical emergency type numbers and family numbers in case you need stress time out. Make sure you give yourself the benefit of the doubt sometimes, you are stronger than you think, love yourself for the great job you are doing, and remember that you aren't perfect just a Mum doing the best she can. l

Tammie - posted on 12/29/2009

I am 46 and raising 2 boys ages 6 & 7 all by myself, even when I was married. Their father and I separated in Nov 2006 and he hasn't seen them not once. We are much happier, and no longer have to worry about late night calls saying he's in jail for a DUI or been in an accident and I need to either pick him up from jail or the hospital. Or him coming home drunk and scared to do or say anything. My boys are special needs and I have health problems. But you know what? When I lay my head down at night I can't help but smile and know I'm doing the best that I can, even on our challenging days. Seeing their faces light up when I walk in the room, their hugs, kisses and "I love you mommy", "you the best chef mommy", "your the bestest mommy", and their gentle touches when they give me foot massages or play with my hair makes it all well worth it. They are right by my side when I'm doing laundry or any kind of house cleaning and we have fun doing it. I can't help but laugh when they break out singing "Team Work". All we can do is our best, and love each and every moment. Being a mom is one of the greatest jobs I've ever had and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Kavita - posted on 12/28/2009

Quoting mayada:

is it easy to raise two kids alone?

hi to all the mums,i am new member i like to share your experience in raising kids,waiting for your opinions.

depends on you and ur capabilty. not impossible though challenging for sure

Sue - posted on 12/28/2009

I raised my two children, 24 and 21, mostly on my own, and it has been hard but satisfying.

Debby - posted on 12/27/2009

hi mayada..raising kids is never easy.especially as a single parent..i raised 4 on my own..you just have to support them,and help lead them to the right things in life..at times dont get me wrong,its really hard,but it helps ALOT if you communicate with your kids..let them know its YOU they can turn too,and YOU who they can always rely on no matter what..

Gabrielle - posted on 12/27/2009

ive been raising two kids on my own for 11yrs, they are 14 and 15yrs now, and they can be a challenge to say the least but they are good, honest kids and we discuss things and they know they can ask me anything, and they do. i was lucky to have a 10am-2pm job, which was fantastic and was able to stay in my rented house for 9- 10yrs while i was raising them, so they never had to change schools or move around, it was a stable environment. We moved two years ago to the coast, and my son started year 7 here, so that wasnt so hard for him as most of the kids were new, to each other. My daughter just made friends in a second and since that move we havent looked back. Thier father has always been in their lives and their grandparents have been great. Recently thier dad moved to where we live, because he needed to be with them so for my son, this is good, they are great mates. I never remarryed or had a partner while raising my kids, i thought it would be to complicated. I will say, it is tough, but it is rewarding everyday, they grow so fast and they need you so much. good luck, im sure you'll do a great job.

Susan - posted on 12/27/2009

I have raised my 2 children basically alone. Even when I was married to their dad, he was either working are on computer and never really helped it that. My kids were 10 & 5 when we separated. Except for his every other weekend, I was their full time parent. I divorced in 1995 and married a great guy in 1998.
I raised my kids to be truthful with me, to let them know that :I'm always there for them no matter what. There are times I may not like them but I will always love you!" We had hard times but my kids have grown up to be good adults. My son is almost 26 and my daughter is 21, she's raising her 23 mos. daughter alone.
My kids still come to me to this day and tell me things that most children would never tell their parents (no matter the age). We have a good relationship.

Caroline - posted on 12/27/2009

I am raising 3 girls alone and it is going well, i have been doing this all my life and have no problems. my girls are, 13, 11 and 9 years old. Their father doesnt give a shit about and you know what, we are doing well without him.

Tanya - posted on 12/27/2009

Raising kids is never easy. It is possably the greatest work that you will do in your life. Surely it will be one of the most signifigant. I have raised my two on my own, tho their father does have contact. I believe that if you do a good job at building their self esteme, by stopping to give them positive attention when they need it and support them in learning how to make good choices, and following thru with them in their life, will help them build independence and knowing that will make the job easier. Self dicipline is more useful than imposing outside control on them also. They will learn this by watching and mimicing you. You are their role model. They will do as you do not as you say. I also feel that being aware of the outside influences in their lives is very important, especially in the early years, for these will greatly influence the building of their self image and self esteme, and choices in friends later on in teen years. I believe that you can lay the foundations for an easier parenting path, but there will always be surprises and challenges. How we respond to them is the important factor. Don't forget to take care of yourself, de-stressing, having a good support group, and good parenting tools is essential. All can contribute to an easier path in parenting. All the best, Tanya