kids that have no ambition

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dani - posted on 11/05/2009

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HI. I can relate.. I have 4 children. 3 boys ages 24, 21, and 10- daughter age 12. My oldest son is Career military, smart, funny, married with a child and driven!!! My 21 year old is quite the opposite... Doesnt want to work, doesnt want to bathe, doesnt want to succeed if it means he has to put in the effort. He moves from couch to couch with one sob story after another and only moves on once whoever he is living with at the time has had enough and begins to see. My son has an excuse for everything and everything that has ever gone wrong in his life is always someone elses' fault. Usually mine. I tried to help him on a few occasions, but always got the same old "you owe me because I am your child" routine... so I decided to put him out, let him hit rock bottom and pray that I am making the right decision... I worry everyday, but refuse to have a child of mine with such an ugly view of the world and even uglier language and bad habits turning my every moment into total chaos and stress. I sympathize because I know how your childs actions and behavior (or lack of) can cause turmoil in a mom's life... you will always be mom, but sometimes you have to cut the apron string and let them get hit in the face with the real world. The turning point in my older sons life was when he was 15 and just starting to get into trouble. I told him that I didnt owe him the world and if he wanted he had to earn. I got him a job in the establishment I worked in as a busboy. I was a waitress.. I worked for a tyrant of a man who screamed and threw things, but the tips and hours were good and I had bills. Anyways, We closed at 11 and it was 9:00. My son saw how I busted my tail. He watched my boss make me cry on a few occasions and how I had to maintain my composure to make it through the night. He got so mad and wanted to know why I put up with it>>> I told him to go look in the mirror. My tough as nails son, broke right then and there. He cried for a minute and hugged me and we both finished our shift. That night, my son, who always thought I had to do for him, went into the kitchen and fixed me a toasted ham and cheese sandwich with tomato soup and brought it to me on a tray. Neither of us said anything, we were both too tired. the next morning. I jumped out of bed because my alarm didnt go off and I raced to get my son up for school to find his bed empty, but made. His room was clean, the living room was clean, the kitchen and dishes were clean. And I found a note that said "thought you needed some sleep so I caught a ride with Jamie" We never discussed that night ever again. My son continued to work there part time, got a second part time job (age 15) his grades improved he was in ROTC and he just stopped asking for things like video games and brand name shoes.. he bought those on his own.he also bought his first car when he was 16. Shortly after he was 16 he wanted to move in with his dad who he never had much of a relationship with. I let him go. about a week after he left, my car completeley died. My son gave me his car and said that because of me, he knew how to work and sacrifice and to give what is needed to the ones you love. Sometimes the things we try to shield our children from are just the things they need to see.

Robin - posted on 10/21/2009

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CHILDREN THESE DAY HAVE SO MUCH GIVEN 2 THEM THAT THEY DONT HAVE 2 WORK 4 ANYTHING. ITS NOT LIKE WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN, IF WE WANTED 2 B INTERTAINED WE USED OUR IMAGINATION AND FOUND SOMETHING TO DO, AND WE SPENT A LOT OF OUR TIME OUTDOORS WITH OTHER CHILDREN. THESE DAYS ALL KIDS HAVE 2 DO IS WAKE UP AND EVERYTHING THEY NEED 4 THERE AMUSMENT IS RIGHT THERE FROM VIDEO GAMES HAND HELD AND PS2 ECT.. TO THE COMPUTER AND ALL ITS EXCITMENT AND SO MANY MORE THINGS THAT DONT INSTIL A NEED NOR A DESIRE TO GO OUT AND OBTAIN 4 THEMSELVES. ADD 2 IT THE MUSIC AND THE MEDIA TELLING OUR KIDS THAT THEY NEED THESE MATERIAL THINGS 2 B ACCEPTED AND THAT IF THEIR PARENTS LOVE THEM THEN THEY WILL MAKE SURE THEY HAVE THISE THINGS, BECAUSE AFTER ALL WE SHOULD WANT THEM 2 KEEP UP WITH THEIR PEERS. WHEN THEY GO 2 SCHOOL THERE R NOT MANY TEACHERS THAT PUSH OR EVEN TAKE AN INTREST IN THEIR SCHOOL WORK, ITS SO EASY TO JUST SLIDE THROUGH DOING AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. NO ONE IS TELLING THESE KIDS AS MUCH ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT EDUCATION IS BUT THEY HEAR ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO BE ACCEPTED BY THEIR FRIENDS AND WHAT THEY SHOULD B OR HOW THEY DONT HAVE 2 TRY AT ANYTHING BUT BEING UP ON THE LATEST TECHNOLOGIES. ITS EASY 4 KIDS NOT 2 CARE THE SYSTEM IS SET UP JUST 4 THAT. THAT IS WHY WE AS PARENTS HAVE 2 BEGIN WHEN THEY R SMALL AND INSTIL IN THEM THE IMPORTANT THINGS THAT WILL CAUSE THEM 2 CARE IN THEIR LATER YEARS.

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Michalynn - posted on 11/07/2009

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can you be more specific? care about what? how old are they? that will help to understand your comments.



micha

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