Love of My Life Is Homeless

Patricia - posted on 09/05/2010 ( 84 moms have responded )

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I finally met the man of my dreams and think he is homeless. I went for a walk last night and saw him sleeping behind the bowling alley. How do I tell him I know and that there is absolutey no way I could do this to my 13 children. I promised them the next man I married would be able to help support our household not be a burden on us. And he has a really bad drinking problem. I've seen him down a 12-pack in a couple hours then finish off a bottle of wine. He is a hard worker and does have a job but it barely supports his drinking habit. And he is always talking about his Boss Mikey blowing him off, (i thought it was regarding paying him but I saw Mikey give him a kiss when my boyfriend was leaving work). I'm so confused. I truly love him but should my kids come first and go look for someone with more money and a better job .(The Mikey issue is ok because he is my brother.) Please this 100% true and I need advice it's urgent because I'm pregnant again.

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Alisa - posted on 09/06/2010

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There is nothing to be confused about here. Dump the guy. He simply cannot be the love of your life, if he is an alcoholic, bi sexual, and homeless. Your 13 children deserve MUCh better. Time for you to move up in life. And USE BIRTHCONTROL for god's sakes!

Maureen - posted on 09/08/2010

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Are you really serious? You talk about his life insurance policy; it just doesn't make sense that an alcoholic homeless man would have a life insurance policy. I can not believe your post, sorry.

[deleted account]

I agree Lisa,,,see my post as well.I call B.S. on this one.Somebody has too much time on her/his/their hand.

Ridiculous!!!.People...stop responding to this post,somebody is having a good laugh at your heartfelt,concerned replies and advice.

[deleted account]

ok,first of all I dont believe any of this.I think you just want to wind people up and have made up a story with every bad scenario you could think of.
.And just for the heck of it,,,what kind of a mother has to ask total strangers if her children should come first???

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2010

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The people who've responded to this B.S. are much nicer than I am. Your post sounds like a crock to me- I don't believe any of it. If by chance it is true- you need more help than anyone here can give you.

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84 Comments

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Michele - posted on 09/23/2010

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Cracks me up how seriously these ladies are taking this. It's fake! There are key descriptors in the post meant to intentionally generate controversy. We all need to let this one go away.

Andrea - posted on 09/22/2010

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i think ms. henderson may be lonely and just getting kicks out of posting fictitious info.

Andrea - posted on 09/22/2010

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are you joking???? did it really take you seeing him sleeping behind a bowling alley for the red flags to wave? why on earth would you think about being with someone who 'downs' a 12 pack and a bottle of wine? you need to look at yourself and why you are even questioning being with this person. were you raised by one or both alcoholic parents?? often adult children of alcoholics end up with alcoholics.

Carrie - posted on 09/21/2010

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I would look into the Mickey thing. I know it is your brother but this is not natural Also I would sit down with my 13 children and have a good hard talk with them. At least the ones that will understand and I ould make some family disisions as to where you should go from here. And pray first and formost

Raelene - posted on 09/17/2010

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I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time believing you, if this is at all true, put your kids first, use birth control, condoms not only for birth control but for safe sex, he's bi sexual!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim - posted on 09/17/2010

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I asked her in an earlier post how she could adopt 13 children all between the ages of 12 and 16 unless she had a huge house and lots of money too. She never bothered posting back to anyone here - so I think the whole thing is a load of crap. She did say she owned a meat shop but ONE day this "boyfriend" of hers came in drunk and scared all the customers away and she had to close the shop down. That doesn't add up either. One incident would not cause all the regular customers to stay away permanently, and wouldn't prevent new ones from coming in. No, none of what she is saying actually adds up to anything more than a sick individual who needs professional help. I asked her what if the people she knew in real life were reading this, or one of her 13 teenage children - now I would find that humiliating if I was making it up....but since so many people have offered her advice and she hasn't even come back to say Thank You, I really think it a hoax.

Theresa - posted on 09/17/2010

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You might want to check out your local Alanon group. They are there to help. I would do this before I went any further with this man. I hope this helps. I have had 2 marriages with men in this condition and believe you me I never want to do it again. I am just so grateful that I never havd children by these men. Best of luck to you.

[deleted account]

The more I read and think about this post of yours, the more I can't believe it!! HOW IN THE WORLD WERE YOU ABLE TO ADOPT 12 CHILDREN??? I don't think any agency would allow that with a woman who seems to need financial support and is single??? Is this some kind of sick joke??? Let's hope not!! I would hope that someone would not use this type of venue for such "crap"! And if it is true-well, I've already posted below.

[deleted account]

Did you say you have 13 children and are pregnant again! Your children are your main concern and I say "GET RID OF THIS GUY" and do it QUICKLY!! He is, by your admission, homeless and an alcoholic and will NOT be any support to you and your children. He needs help and you obviously are too busy with your own life! AND what is this about him kissing his boss (your brother)??? You don't say what type of kiss it was???? Is your brother gay? Maybe your boyfriend is bisexual? I definately have no problem with gay or bisexual people, but this may be another situation your boyfriend has not dealt with....I know being in love (or thinking your are) can mess with your mind BUT you have to do things the RIGHT way and let this man go his own way and hopefully get the help he needs! YOU need to concentrate on your children and how to take care of them the best way possible.

Gillian - posted on 09/16/2010

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As I said before, this can't be serious. The writing's on the wall, READ IT AND RUN! Unless this is made up, which is what I suspect.

Rosemary - posted on 09/16/2010

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kids first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! move on you have 13 whats one more these been no man in there lives !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim - posted on 09/16/2010

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This has got to be a hoax. She hasn't replied back to anybody. I don't think anyone should waste any more of their time writing to her and trying to offer good sound advice.

Heather - posted on 09/15/2010

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Hell woman,the writing is on the wall to see. This man is bad news, what with drinking problems and possible gay tendencies. Sad to know that you are pregnant again after having 13 children. Didn't you get any advice on birth control??? I wish you well, but I would say to get real about this man. Let him get help to fight his problems, if he so loves you, or kick him out of your life. He will be a weight around your neck and can only bring unhappiness to you and your household. Bless

Cathy - posted on 09/15/2010

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I had my tubes tied after I had three kids because I knew that I could not afford more. First of all stop having kids after this one and focus on the ones you have. Second if hes homeless, Drinks and is possibly Bi than drop him. He will not be a great mate that you deserve and he will not be a great parent and provider. Take off the rose colored glasses and get real.

[deleted account]

I guess you are confused because you are full of hormones again, otherwise you would't have to ask this question. Just exactly what is it you think you love about this person? I suggest you see a therapist for yours and your childrens sake. From your post I am guessing this guy is not the first bad decisin you have made.

Kim - posted on 09/14/2010

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Many more replies to your story since I have written a couple myself - and still none back from you. Hmmm, I am starting to catch the smell of something nasty. Its called bullshit.

[deleted account]

ok,first of all I dont believe any of this.I think you just want to wind people up and have made up a story with every bad scenario you could think of.
.And just for the heck of it,,,what kind of a mother has to ask total strangers if her children should come first???

Lisa - posted on 09/14/2010

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Step Away from the Homeless Alcoholic...turn your back, tell yourself that sometimes a mother just has to sacrifice the love of her life for her children's sake. Do NOT fall into the age-old trap of thinking that you will reform this man or any man. I'm sure you're old enough to look back at old patterns of destructive behavior and taking on a homeless alcoholic pretty much tops THAT list, eh? It would be different if you didn't have THIRTEEN children, but you do and one on the way--heck, you should be busy enough to be able to put him outta your mind for good...let some other lady who hasn't learned her lesson yet take him on until she learns her lesson!

Cj - posted on 09/13/2010

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Why would you ever consider having a man such as this around your children? There was no indication before this that he had no home? How long have you been with him? The saddest part is not that he is in this situation but that you have 13 children and one on the way and you are asking if you should give up or keep him? You see your brother kiss him, the drinking and no home. What was your brother doing kissing your boyfriend? I just can not believe that you are even asking advise on this. He may need help but so do you, and I do not mean to sound mean to you, but you really need to open your eyes on what you are teaching your kids. Wake up before it is too late.

Monica - posted on 09/13/2010

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Okay, I strongly suggest you seek counseling. How are you able to adopt 12 children and you don't have enough income to support them? If you know these things about this man, saw them with your own eyes, why is there any question in your mind what you should do? The only advice I can give you is pray without ceasing, and seek counsel.

Dawn - posted on 09/13/2010

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I personally am finding this very hard to believe. I can't imagine someone who is smart enough to raise 13 children by herself being stupid enough to get pregnant again at this age. Also his boss just happens to be her brother? I don't know how that would make it OK--I would think it would make it worse that your brother doesn't even care enough about you to respect your relationship. Then you claim to love him, but also mention in another post that he has a heart issue and really good life insurance. That doesn't sound loving it sounds mercenary. But let's just say that this is true--Stop acting stupid and dump the alcoholic bum and instead of worrying about finding a man to take care of you and your kids do it yourself. They are your kids and if you couldn't support them you shouldn't have had them. And if you can't afford the new child, give it up for adoption. There are plenty of good people out there who would do anything to have a child. Love is not just some emotion that makes you have to act stupid. We can still use our intelligence and make good decisions--especially when the ones who will be harmed by our bad decisions don't deserve it.

Julie - posted on 09/12/2010

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Patricia this is the 2nd time I've commented on your story, I have worked in mental health I believe you are suffering from schizaphrenia with multiple personalities it sound like you may have unwisely ceased taking your medication. Please go back to your doctor as is sound like you are now hallucinating and mixing what you hear and see may even be on TV with real life this will only get worse so please seek medical advice
with love and light Amethyst

Renee - posted on 09/12/2010

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Hi Patricia I am at a loss for words, okay let me see if I understand this, you already are the mother of 13 children, any doubles, foster or adopted? Next thing you say that you told your children that the next man would be a blessing (in other words ) to your home and this guy would definitely not be a blessing. I am still trying to figure out how you know about his "really bad drinking problem" and you still call him "the man of your dream", Patricia come on sweetie, you have to be for real with yourself, you are seeing all the evidence of this man being a mess and then you say you are pregnant again. Honey, you need to wake up and pull it together. I understand love, but this is not right, not for you nor your children but I am more concerned about you, because our kids grow up and move on and I am sure that no one wants to be alone. But, you have to think about all that you have been through and think about the rest of the things you will have to go through with him, I can not tell you what to do, but if I were you I would cut my loss now..keep me posted on what you deceide to do...praying for you. God bless.

Kay - posted on 09/12/2010

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You really need to take care of you. You seem to have a need to fix the world...and I think you have mistaken this for "Love" ..He seems to have more problems than you do at the moment. I say run like heck in the other direction. Find a real confident man and love him not the one that is gonna bleed you dry. Your kids should always come first.

Kim - posted on 09/11/2010

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I'm starting to agree with some of the other ladies who already posted. They said she must be making it all up, called her crazy, told her to get a life, and more. The fact that she won't post anymore replies, but seemed to be in such a panic for help kind of speaks for itself. Its possible she is here reading all our posts and having a good laugh at our expense. If thats the case she needs more help than any of us can offer - unless one of us is a psychiatrist.

Sharon - posted on 09/11/2010

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this wopman cant be serious? this has to be joke, surely! no one could be sold silly??

Mary - posted on 09/11/2010

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Hello Patricia, it's really hard to trust people nowadays especially when it involves someone you love very much. Nevertheless,sister I have this word of advice for you - forget about him and carry on with your own life. You have 13 (?) to care for and I'm sure you don't want to hurt their feelings because of this man. Life will be much better for you and the kids without this man. From what I read, he can't even taking care and be responsible of himself whatmore to say having to cater for the family of 15( and another one on the way) ! He'll make your life and the kids a living hell. You can replace a lover but not your children - they love you and they need your love too.

Robin - posted on 09/11/2010

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With so many children, how could anyone have time for a companion? Put all your focus on your children. Once the youngest is grown, then and only then should you open yourself up to allow love to find you.

Debbie - posted on 09/11/2010

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Forget the kids first, honey YOU need to come first and regardless of whether you had kids or not this guy is trouble from the beginning. It may feel like the love of your life but really? Do you see the rest of your life supporting an alcoholic and the problems that brings? Respect yourself enough to move on and find someone else who will be a partner with you not another person for you to care for.

Leann - posted on 09/11/2010

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This is got to be a joke. Get rid of him and put your kids first. That is all they have. Why would you even consider exposing your kids to that.

Jeanne - posted on 09/11/2010

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RUN the other way. Not just for yourself for your children's sake if even half of this is true.

Lenisahbb - posted on 09/11/2010

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How EXACTLY would he be the MAN of ANYBODIES dreams...You are looking at a potential NIGHTMARE HONEY....

Cherrie - posted on 09/11/2010

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ive seen all the coments and it looks like yr not taking there advice and woman you realy should be listening to all of them.it looks to me like your waiting for someone to say yes go 4 it with this guy becuase your defanatly not listening to any of them and every single one of these ladies or right.but thats not what you want 2 hear is it hun.how can you be in love with a homelss guy that drinks as much as he does we both know that thats a problem on its own.and if you stay with him your life will be as worthless as his is at the moment.you can do much better for your self and children

Mary - posted on 09/11/2010

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Seems to me you should focus on your children and let this man work out whatever issues he has with his sexuality, drinking and whatever else. he does not sound like a healthy person physically or mentally. You have to put your children first!

Kim - posted on 09/10/2010

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I have read every single post on this subject, and it seems that the majority think you are making it all up. Part of me hopes you are, because if you are telling the truth, then I wouldn't wish your situation on my worst ememy. I have watched soap operas with less drama and confusion. Let me get this right. I re-read your 3 posts and you have 13 adopted children all between the ages of 12 and 16? The key word here is adopted. No adoption agency would allow you to adopt that many children in the same age group unless you had a very large home and the means to properly provide for them - and even then I can't really imagine it. And I'm sorry, but one incident in a meat shop wouldn't stop the regular customers from coming back. And now you have a biological baby on the way but you never mentioned if this guy you love is the father or not. I am not trying to be judgemental, but I have to assume he is not the father. Why? Because with your house full of teenagers it would be hard to have much of a sex life unless you went to your boyfriends house. Then you said he is a homeless alcoholic. So either he is not the dad, or you paid for a hotel room the day you got pregnant. Or worse - you already brought this guy into your home full of impressionable teenagers. If thats the case, then why are you even asking anyone if you should bring him home - you already did. Then you said you caught him kissing your brother. Those red flags are getting big enough to make a tent that sleeps an army; which is good because if you get pregnant again there will be room in the tent. Ok, then you mention a life insurance policy but you never said you saw it or that you are the beneficiary. And even if you are the beneficiary that doesn't mean he is going to die tomorrow - but it almost sounds like your hoping he does for the money. That isnt love. You also asked if you should put your children first (IF???) and look for another man with more money/better job. Why do you have to look for a man at all? You must be supporting the children somehow on your own already, because he isn't helping financially. And how can you be Ok with the man you love kissing another man? Especially your own brother. Did you ask your brother whats going on here? Wow, thats a lot going on there. I can understand why these women are accusing you of making this up for attention. If you are, we would love to know what would posess someone to do such a thing. This is supposed to be a website for Moms helping other Moms. Why would you get pleasure in having all these caring people offer advice, prayers and best wishes to a scammer. There are people on here who really need help and advice - so if you are making this up Shame on you! How can you be so sure that someone you know in real life isn't reading this. How do you know one of your teenagers isn't reading it? And one more thing. A lot of other Moms have offered advice, prayers and best wishes. Another group called you selfish, a liar, a joke, and basically a scammer. Guess that would boil down to "Unfit Mother". So my question to you is simple. Why haven't you replied back to anybody either to defend yourself or to keep them posted on the situation (if its real). If you made it all up and don't want to continue with the scam, you could just write a note and tell everyone you dumped the homeless alcoholic who kissed your brother, and thank them for the advice and concern. By not posting anything at all is the next best thing to admitting you are lying. So why don't you just keep us posted - if your telling the truth? And if your making it up - you can still get out of it by doing what I just mentioned. Remember the story about the boy who cried wolf - never forget about that boy. One day he really did need help and everyone just ignored him. No matter what the deal is with you, you owe it to your kids to be able to cry wolf - we all have emergencies at times and need the help and support of others. Dont take that away from your kids by ignoring all these people who have taken the time to write to you.

Lisa - posted on 09/10/2010

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LOL, this is obviously a joke! I'm guessing some kids have too much time on their hands and dreamed all this up.

Elizabeth Jane - posted on 09/10/2010

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Well if you have fallen in love with an Alcoholic there is a good reason why Pat. You will have to find out why and the only place I know would be a the nearest Alanon meeting in your Area. Your children will alway come first no matter what you decide. Unfortunately they are not with us forever because they start growing up and getting their own lives in order. You are their biggest teacher in life, remember to pray for guidence, your instincst will tell you if you are on the right track, besides they are God given! All the best to you and your future. God Bless

Lori - posted on 09/10/2010

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You have 13 children and your pregnant again? I dont think anyone could help support all of that.If he is the father and you truely love him let your heart decide. I would not worry about his drinking problem if he can handle it but if he's just a drunk all the time, what do you see in him? I would be more concerned with just how many men would even be interested in a woman with that many kids.

Nikki - posted on 09/09/2010

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If this is serious and not a joke then logic tells you that you should of course put your kids first. I do. I am a single mother of two grown girls and I am raising my 4 year old son alone. Again , your kids need you and come first :) Since you asked for advice concerning this man , I would say it's a "No" to the relationship !!! Seems like a awful situation. Sorry but i will pray for you and your children ..

Kjersti - posted on 09/09/2010

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Woman, after reading the rest of your posts i truly believe you need your head examined!

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