Love them dearly... But do they ever leave?????

Pam - posted on 01/20/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hello..... I have 3 kids ages 24, 21 and 18. All are still at home! We also have my 19 year old neice living with us so she can go to school. Also at times we have friends of the kids staying here when things get tough at their homes. I'm a stay at home mom and basicaly have only them to talk to! Lol

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Mardi - posted on 05/16/2012

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I used to do homecare for a lady who moved into a 2brm retirement village that had age restrictions attached, so that her children could no longer move back in with her.....lol I thought that was a classic.

I think theres a few things you need to do.

STOP doing everything or anything for them, make them responsible for themselves, they live there, but they aren't babies anymore.

GIVE them a date, you could tell them they have a month, and if they claim thats not enough, they have to come back with a time frame thats acceptable. Make sure they are all out by the end of the year, but you'd love them to come for xmas lunch (thanksgiving etc).

DO more for yourself, take up a hobby, job, study, whatever.......all your children are adults, they dont need to be mothered anymore, they need to learn independence. So do all those things you have been putting off until the kids grow up......they have, its now time for you.

Anita - posted on 01/23/2010

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I have 3 children, 2 sons 22 and 23 and 1 daughter 17. When they leave they come back. I want them gone. I love them but I've raised them and I can't wait to be in the house alone

Denise - posted on 01/23/2010

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LOL. Why wouldn't they enjoy being home and being taken care of. I'm kind of in the same situation. I have a 22 and 21 yr. old home with us again. They both moved out of state, one to Alaska and one to Missouri, but came back to Minnesota to finish some schooling and both are getting in the next 5 months married. The 21 yr. old will be with us a year total and the 22 yr. old about 4 months. Then they are back out. I don't mine the short term at all but I know there is an end. So until then we allow them to live with us for free. Maybe tell your kids they have 6 months or whatever you think they might need to get back on their feet and move out again. They could always live together to save on expenses once they get jobs.. My son and daughter did when she moved to Alaska by him. If you give them a date they need to be out it might give them insentive to find jobs and move forward. Otherwise you could have them pay rent and help with food and utilities once they are working again which might encourage them to leave. Good Luck.

Pam - posted on 01/22/2010

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They both lost their jobs and Im starting to think they enjoy being at home having their every need taken care of. Its time for them to grow up and move on!!

Denise - posted on 01/21/2010

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Why are the 24 and 21 yr. olds still at home. Are they going to school or just using you as a long term free place to stay?

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i have a son 27 and a daughter 29. at the moment my daughter and her son are living with me but my son is married and has his own family and is settled. my daughter seems quite happy living back home and in no hurry to find her own home

Betty - posted on 01/20/2010

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Oh I feel for you really, I have three myself and my son left home for college after a year he dropped out and joined the Marines, has not been back home to live since joining very proud of him. My oldest daughter moved out when we moved from our home state to another and has only come to live with us during each of he pregnancies, and I have 1 left at home can't wait for the day to come when it's just my husband and me. So long story short sometimes they do leave..... LOL

Theresa - posted on 01/20/2010

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Hi Pam... I know how you feel but I don't have that many at home. Our oldest daughter found her husband at college but my middle child is still at home. She is 23 and graduated in May 2009 but could not afford to live on her own or with friends so she has moved back home...hard adjustment but there's some days I'm glad she's with us. I also have a 15 year old son so he's not going any where time soon. Do you have friends in your neighborhood or church that you can talk to? I wonder how you might feel if they all moved out soon?



Good talking with you,

Theresa

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