MOM OVER 40 WITH TEENAGE DAUGHTER

Frances - posted on 03/14/2013

I am a 57 year old mom with a 14 & 15 yrs old daughter. Sometimes the older one hates me (and she has said so) and I barely get a word of "niceness" from her unless she needs something!

Margaret - posted on 07/10/2011

Enjoy the moments when you still share the closeness. My daughter start changing @ around that age closer to 16. Hopefully, she will surround herself with positive and good friends that will influence her in the right direction. Teenagers today have to be really strong to not be influenced by certain bad behaviors. Also, being emotionally and physically there makes a big difference too. Some mothers have to work a lot or are dealing with things in their lives without support which can put them more at risk. I wish you the best with your teen.

Margaret - posted on 07/10/2011

I believe there has got to be a way of communicating to keep peace with a teenager. I have not mastered this quite yet and its my 2nd daughter going through the teenage years. I now have a good relationship with my older daughter but the one who is 17 1/2 going on 30 is unbearable. The only time I have peace in my house is when she is gone. I have read some of the stories here and being an older mother has its challenges. They seem to think we are too old or not smart enough for them to listen and believe anything we say. To keep their control is by belittling and doing as they please even when you try to give them reasonable boundaries. I am at my edge and have made it clear that I want my daughter to move out when she is 18. She will realize then how difficult it is and that her mother was always there for her. I don't think that's happening anytime soon. Her friends and boyfriend are more important than her own family. She even starts arguments with me in front of her friends. Just want peace.

Valerie - posted on 01/15/2010

Hi! I'm 44 with a 15.5yo daughter, 12.5yo, 9.75yo, and 6yo sons. I've found that with my daughter, one day she's like my best friend, telling me what's going on, how she's feeling, etc. . . and the next she 'doesn't want or feel like talking about anything'! I'm trying to refrain from invading her life when she wants to be left alone, but still keep the lines of communication open by respecting her silences and telling her that I love her and am ready to listen when she is ready to share. That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes force the issue when necessary! I also accept that there are just going to be times when she doesn't want to accept or understand my position on chores, dating, curfew, grades, etc. . . but that's our job as parents - to guide them and hold them accountable to reasonable expectations! I truly believe that being willing to listen and accept their thoughts and feelings - not necessarily agreeing with them - will allow them to be able to listen and accept our thoughts and feelings. If you are in general being reasonable and consistent don't worry about or take personally her 'feelings' of the moment. Kudos to all moms of teenage daughters!

Dawn - posted on 01/15/2010

my daughter is 17 1/2, going on 30, she is strong willed and determine to do what she wants. i let her to a point, i dont always agree with what she is doing,

The hardest thing for a parent to learn is to let them learn for themselves, keep your opinion to yourselves, and open your ears, listen to your children. my daughter is my baby and a girl, i have 2 boys too, 23 and 25, i have learnt these skills from my boys and they are helping with my girl. it is hard but the rewards are worth it

Trevi - posted on 01/15/2010

Hiya, I'm 42 with an 11 year old and am really interested to hear from you when the switch happened. Simone still pretty much thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread though we do have occasional 'hormonal clashes" I know I'm not being much help, but I'm hoping to learn from you and prepare for when Simone is 15!

Regards