Moms and Menopause

Bonnie - posted on 07/17/2010 ( 88 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone. I just started a new Community group called MOMS AND MENOPAUSE or PERI-MENOPAUSE, as I am going through it myself and couldn't find a Community about it.



I am inviting all of you to please Join the Moms and Menopause Community, so we can share information and help each other get through another stage in our lives. What works for you. HRT or something else? (Next time, I want to come back as a man...LOL).



I have posted some links to helpful websites about menopause there. I look forward to getting to know you. Let's help each other.



Bonnie Gray

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Carol - posted on 07/29/2010

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Oh goody, I like this post! I'm right there in the trenches or should I say "drenches" with all of you. I'm 52 and had an endometrial ablation at 50 after bleeding for 2 months straight and needing to be hospitalized for a transfusion with a hemoglobin of 7. That ablation is the best thing since tub butter, ladies, if you've had all the kids you want go for it! NO NEED TO BLEED!!! Saves on tampon bill, too! However, it's hard to tell when menopause starts, except for the high AC bill, sopping wet nightgowns, moods to rival my 16 yr old daughter. Here is what is beginning to work for me: An over the counter vitamin/herb combo called Estroven. It does NOT have hormones in it but it does have things like black cohosh, vit b & e. Here's a link: http://www.estroven.com/info/about_estro...

Hope it helps and count me in the circle.
Thanks.
Carol

Susan - posted on 07/27/2010

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evening primrose oil helps me tremendously with hot flashes and night sweats. what I want is my sex drive back and to be able to multiple orgasm again my significant other has been a real champ about it but thinks if I just do such and such I can be fixed He does not get the whole picture, He wants to fix me As if I am broken.Not his fault but trying to get him to understand that for 10 years we've had the most fantastic sex life and at this point I'm you want sex and I could care less so climb aboard and let's get it over with.We laugh and he does. We have had to have a sense of humor with this or it would be to painful so I get a lot of back massages to get me in the mood as best as I can.
It is also very hard when I feel like I live in someone else's body. My Dr has been zero help I asked what I could do for the weght gain my middle has roles that started to appear with the symptoms and he said and I quote "Honey you could eat a leaf of lettuce for your meals and you still would gain weight that is what perimenopause is about" What the Heck!!!!! not a smart thing to say to a already unbalanced as in one moment I am happy and great and the next my kids are saying "Whoa mom chill out" because I have snapped at them over something totally stupid. So I am in full empathy with all you ladies out there. What I have found is not many woman are willing to be honest about all the crap they go thru. which makes it harder and you feel very isolated. so Heres to a forum that breaks down the barriers!!

Kim - posted on 07/28/2010

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Vitamin E and soy help. I had my 2nd child at 42 and started menopause at 43. I am now 50 and still have night sweats and hot flashes but they are not as severe. I also had breast cancer and now take Arimedex (sp?) which also causes night sweats and hot flashes so I have added exercise to the mix and that helps as well...hope this helps!

Frances - posted on 07/27/2010

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I take wild yam root, standardized extract. It prevents the night sweats and has restored my sex drive. I started having night sweats when I was only 37. I am 49 now and the wild yam is still working for me.

SONYA - posted on 08/17/2010

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Info on drugs that help hot flashes and night sweats is almost nonexistent these days. However....the University of Mississippi in Jackson did a trial a couple of yrs ago that was successful in proving that Neurontin 200 mg twice a day radically decreased these symptoms or makes them disappear completely. My sister was a participant . I take it for another reason but have great results with decreasing hot flashes and night sweats.

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April - posted on 01/09/2014

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Im so glad to have found y'all … I had my daughter when i was 38 by the time i was 40 i was having hot flashes and a period lasting a month … then periods started coming every 3 months …. Im now 45 still have hot flashes think the moodiness is mostly gone haven't had a period in 7 months.. I don't miss them trust me but I'm glad in not the only one

Karen - posted on 02/12/2013

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I have a thyroid imbalance, so I take synthetic thyroid. But I think lately my hormones are just all over the place. Recently my dr raised my levothyroid dose and now I have mood swings, crazy ones! I'm hyper and jittery a lot and I have hot flashes, then I"m freezing. My periods have been longer in between them but with vaginal dryness tampons really hurt! by the way I'm 50 and I have five kids, 27,25,23, and 11yr old twins. My husband has moved out and I'm actually glad because he just doesnt handle it well when I have problems of any kind. A couple of months ago we had about a week of very nice loving but actually we have been mostly celibate for the ten years after the twins were born, since they were preemies and I always slept with them. I do so wish I had some kind of support, its not like I did this on purpose. Two months ago my mom died and I dont really have any friends, without my husband the only people I can talk to is my kids, but I dont want to dump on them.

[deleted account]

52 here and my periods are just starting to lighten up. I concur with those singing the praises of Wild Yam and Evening Primrose oil. Worked tremendously well for me. No night sweats at all and my mood has stayed great. Only problem I have is rampant insomnia. I sleep just a few hours a night and so I stay exhausted. Not much on the sleeping pill idea, so any thoughts on an herbal remedy would be much appreciated!

Carla - posted on 02/10/2013

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My friend and I can relate in different ways to all of us. She had a total hysterectomy about 10 years ago, and now for the past 2 years has been having severe night sweats and hot flashes. She goes outside in a t-shirt and shorts now (it's winter here, current temp 12!). I will tell her about some of these remedies that I've heard here. Myself, I am 50, as she is, also. I had bled heavily and continuously for over a year. I should have had stock in Kotex, I'm just saying. I was anemic, and had constant yeast infections, and was just worn out from the dang bleeding. I have a 11 and 12 year old boys, so keeping up was interesting to say the least. My doctors hemmed and hawed around for about 4 months until finally I told them I want a partial hysterectomy. Oh, boy! Then options abounded for me, but I became very ill on hormones in just 3 days. Ablation was pushed, but as I researched that, I found out that after having that, cancers are harder to detect. So, thru sheer pushitude I got my partial. I so far, knock on wood, I now no longer bleed at all (thank goodness!). I have night sweats some, but the mood swings are not an issue as I'm already medicted for bipolar disorder. I guess I'm lucky so far, some perimenopausal symptoms, and some PMS symptoms, but none severe. Now I can hopefully help my friend, and keep my balance as well. Thank you for this board!

Bonnie - posted on 09/12/2012

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Hi Sally,

Just search Moms and Menopause or Peri-Menopause on this Circle of Moms site and you will find it. good luck. Let me know if you are still having problems finding it.



Bonnie Gray

Moms and Menopause Administrator

Bonnie - posted on 09/12/2012

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Hi Lissy,

I am so sorry that you are going through this at a younger age. Sometimes, life just doesn't seem fair. I can identify with how you are feeling. A slow thyroid thrown into the mix doesn't really help.



Dr. Christiane Northrup wrote a book about Menopause and Peri-Menopause and she has a lot of helpful, non-drug tips and other suggestions that will help us get through this stage. I have also posted a list of peri-menopause and menopause signs and symptoms on the official Moms and Menopause Circle page. Please go to that page to read them. I will post more information as my research continues. Good luck.



Bonnie Gray

Moms and Menopause Administrator

Bonnie - posted on 09/12/2012

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Hi everyone, there is a list of signs and symptoms of Peri-Menopause and Menopause on the official Moms and Menopause Circle site. I hope they will help you. I am doing a lot of research and will be posting more information and help there soon. Please check it often.



Bonnie Gray

Moms and Menopause Administrator

Sally - posted on 09/10/2012

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@ Bonnie. Could you put up a link. I have been having issues with COM's and can't find you. Thanks

Adrianne - posted on 09/10/2012

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hi all, I'm 44 and havent had a period for over 3yrs, thats a plus :-) on the down side I have major night sweats, no hot flashes or irritableness anymore so guess i should count myself lucky hey :-)

I have a 26y/o and a 6y/o, had hoped for 1 more but wasnt to be :-( mind you if i had another like miss 6 i'd be carted away in the white van for sure :-)

For me I've been on NHRT (natural hormone replacement) and as i mentioned it has gotten rid of all the symptoms bar the night sweats, which to me are the worst as i have had only a handful of solid right thru the night sleep in the last 6 years, I've just ordered one of those gell pillows so fingers crossed it might help

Maria - posted on 09/03/2012

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I am a 48 year old grand mother. I have found that black cohosh helps with all aspects of my

menopause symptoms

.

Debbie - posted on 09/03/2012

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Hi, I am 45 with two kids, 15 and 11, I was diagnosed with peri menopause about 8 months ago, I also have IBS and at first those symptoms were horrendous, iam now trying things from month to month to try to find a perfect balance, I am currently taking climagest HRT and fingers crossed it seems to be ok, I carry my fan with me at all times and cry or shout at the slightest things but hey iam alive I have to get on with it.xxx

Bonnie - posted on 09/01/2012

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Ladies, as great as this community is, there is a Community which was created to deal specifically with Menopause and Peri-Menopause questions. There are 75 posts here that the other members may there may not have read. There is also a listing of 35 signs and symptoms posted at the Moms and Menopause Community.



Please go to the Moms and Menopause or Peri-Menopause Community site and post your questions, answers, whatever you'd like to discuss so we can all help each other. Thank you and hope to see you over there.



In appreciation and gratitude,



Bonnie Gray

Community Administrator

Moms and Menopause or Peri-Menopause

Liz - posted on 08/29/2012

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Okay all I just read what I wrote 2 years ago...was it that long? I did have a small decline in hot flashes a few months ago, but this summer of temps over 100, well, not sure what was a hot flashes or just hot. But I started back at subbing last week, and it definitely was not the heat, it was a hotflash I had. And boy did the kids in the 7th grade class know it. One actually got up and offered me a piece of chocolate to help me. He said that's what his mother wants when she gets "Hot and sweaty". LOL I didn't take it, but I told him thanks. so now that I am 58, not having a period in over 3 years...but I still have hot flashes, and I am still moody(just ask my last son who just went to college a few weeks ago) I am feeling good. But there is one advantage, I feel "frisky". And since there are no kids at home.....well we scared the dog and cat last weekend, as we broke the bed. LOL

Musicteach40 - posted on 08/29/2012

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At one time I heard "hotflashes" referred to as "Powersurges".... and I get a lot of "Powersurges."....



I am 49; have 2 children, a daughter 23 who gave me my first grandbaby (DGS) that will be 4 months old in a couple days, and a son 25 who still lives at home (his dad's thing)...



I have been going through menopause for about 1 1/2 years now...

Lissy - posted on 08/24/2012

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I am so glad this group is here. I just turned 38 and I was just diagnosed with Peri-Menopause. I have an adopted daughter and a 3 year old son. I have been with my husband for 19 years and he is 20 years my senior. Seems like a bad joke for him to get the "younger chick" and she is going through this so early. I have had hypo thyroid for about 10 years now but it is balanced and I have kept control of my weight. Now, I can not get the weight off. I watch my diet and Jazzercise 4 times a week ....nothing. I was always freezing pre baby and since I had him I have had hot flashed and my face is greasy all the time. My doctor chalked it up to my hormones balancing out and it takes much longer when breast feeding. Well I have not breast fed in about a year and 9 months so she did a battery of blood tests and here I am ......... I have to admit, I am very upset about it but it does answer a lot of questions that I had about my body. My daughter was thinking that I was just being a Bi#$^ (she is a teen) and my husband just didn't understand the change. I am a very happy person and I just feel like crying over silly things. I over react and get mad easy. Have hot flashes all the time. Confused, memory loss, Acne and then I hear "oh honey, you are too young to be going through that". I want to feel sexy again, I want to have sex drive again and most of all I want results when I work out and eat right. I am not on medication as of yet as my OBGYN wants to check on a heart issue I have been having once my cardiologist results come in. So thankful to read everyone's posts !!!

Liz - posted on 04/06/2011

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I just want to be normal. I am so sick of this it is not funny. The slightest change in any part of my family life sets of stress and I hate it. My period started again. No it is not regular is has been 3 months but I am sick of it. I just want it to stop. this has been going on since my early 40's and until the outburst with my daughter I was handling it fine. Now I am a wreck and I did good yesterday but after a blow up with my brother, I have fallen again

Frances - posted on 04/05/2011

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I started having night sweats at age 37. What really works for me to prevent them is wild yam. I take a pill per day. I get one that says standardized extract; if it does not day that,it does not work very well. I am 49 now and the wild yam is still working for me.

Keryn - posted on 04/05/2011

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I hear you!!!! Especially 1 week before my period. I am 43 and have hot flashes and night sweats and just want to get away from my family!!!!! Horrible!!!!

Liz - posted on 04/04/2011

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I have started this when I was 41 and never had an issue until I had a major fight with my daughter. Now all I want to do is get better with out using prescription drugs. They just scare me. I just want this all to go away and so does my family. can anyone help me. I just estroven max but is there anything else that may help with it. I want to be normal
I was prior to this sort of now I just feel like I am losing it. I have a ton of stress and I hate it Please give me any advise

[deleted account]

What do the majority of women in menapause recommend for hot flashes. I've tried black-cohosh, primrose oil & some kind of blood pressure tab. the doctor said sometimes worked. Nothing has really worked.

Bonnie - posted on 08/17/2010

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I have posted a link to 34 Menopause Symptoms at the Moms and Menopause Community Circle.
Please join the new site and post your menopause questions, etc. there so we can all benefit. I look forward to getting to know all of you. Thanks.

Bonnie

Robyn - posted on 08/17/2010

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That's me, a mom in menopause. I'm 49 and have 4 children, ages 26 down to 9. I have not really been taking anything except black cohosh for hot flashes. I don't take it steadily though to see if it is really working. Lately I realize that I need to step up with taking it on a regular basis, Perhaps I'll keep it in my desk drawer at work.

Bonnie - posted on 08/17/2010

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Thanks, Leslie for your post. Could you please re-post on the Moms and Menopause Community site for all to see? Thanks very much.

Mary - posted on 08/17/2010

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Carol, contact me on the Converse/Nike thing, I'm doing Payless sneaks and with much pride...but a pair of Nike would be nice...have 2 adult boys...feet too big...8 year old...feet too small...got my 15 year old grandson holding on to last years TIMS for me...have a good day.....

Carol - posted on 08/17/2010

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HA, Liz, too funny. If church, work, store, home thermostats are not set on 60-62, I will sweat profusely and be flushed. The over-the-counter Estroven tablets that I take have black cohosh and I think it does help me some. Estroven is also a multi-vitamin with b-6, 12 and vit. E. I also take Neurontin for another problem, so it's hard to know if that helps. In the winter, I try to drink Yogi teas with herbs that are useful for certain needs. Chamomile & peppermint for sleep, licorice & fennel for upset stomach, and they seem to help. I also take acidophilus for upset stomach and st. john's wort is definitely helping my mood AND sleep. Some of these things take time to work. I order them from drugstore.com because they are the least expensive there. You can read about the herbs, comments, ingredients, etc, before you buy. Good luck to us all!!!

Liz - posted on 08/17/2010

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I am glad that so many different drugs work for so many different people. I have tried a million different things, and nothing has really worked. I still get hot, get flushed, I sweat, I get moody, etc. I tried so many things that I quit. Now that I am 56(tomorrow) and have not had a period for over 2 years, I am finding that if I just "tough" out the hot flashes, limit my aggrivation as much as I can while I am having a HF, then it seems to go shorter then the ones in the past. The ones I get that I hate, besides the ones I get at school, are the ones I used to get in church. I get hot flashes, and then I get emotional. NOT a good thing at times, when you just want to be left alone, and the pastor decides to use you as an example of the "joy of God coming over a person". I am sweating, tearing up, and he is preaching about how much God loves me and the Joy I must be experienceing. Thankfully after the service as I was leaving, one of the older ladies there told him that I was not experienceing the "Joy of the Lord" I was having a Women's Moment, and he was lucky he did not do that when she was having those, she would have thrown a hymn book at him.

I haven't been back to that church.....

Carol - posted on 08/17/2010

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@Mary Curry LOL! I'm at work reading this and I can't stop laughing! That is SOOO Funny! And very smart, thoughtful for your son to do that. It's true that the kids have better stuff than their folks. I'm waiting for my daughter to get tired of her Converse or Nikes.

Mary - posted on 08/17/2010

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Thank you...my middle son gave me his "old ipod" (ah, how wealthy are our children) and put some of my favorite songs on it...reason....so I would not talk to people including him and his brothers when the "crazies" start.

Leslie - posted on 08/17/2010

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There is a great website called womentowomen.com. check it out. has a wonderful program and great articles on peri and post. another great resource is dr. christine northrup's books. if you follow a good diet, exercise, and learn to relax menopause can be very manageable.

Barbara - posted on 08/16/2010

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At 49 I had only two incidences 6 months apart where I had night sweats for about a week. Then this year beginning in January I was moody and couldn't figure out why? UNTIL March I had a bought of what I call real crazyness with my moods and sleep deprevation! I finally realized I was perimenopause and scheduled an appointment inmmediately with my gynnie. I got the bio idenical patch Viville and it has made a big difference with my sleep and moods. BUT, I still do not care for the spur of the moment mood changes or this thing called menopause. For me really it is worse than child birth and it last longer??? I just turned 50.

Carol - posted on 08/16/2010

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Recently, I took my daughter on a college tour in a small Iowa town. A young male student was our guide. The heat that day was unbearable for everyone but on top of the heat index of 107, I was most likely having a hot flash. My face was bright red (nobody else's was) and sweat was just pouring off my head. We had one more building to see, the gym, which was down a huge staircase, outside, and the only way back was UP the huge staircase. Imagine my embarrassment when the young male college student says, "We will be going to see the gym. Ma'am, (pointing at me) maybe you'd like to just stay up here and sit on that nice bench under that nice tree." I muttered my thanks, glad I was already red in the face, and sent my daughter with the group. Funny, I sat and pondered why I was the only one with a bright, red sweating face on a 107 degree day!

Faith - posted on 08/16/2010

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In response to Susan Downings message - yup I can empathise with so much of what you said. I think the hardest thing is to accept for partners of menopausal women -is that it is different and we are changed since the change of the menopause -for our sexual partners. I remain ever hopeful and realise that now we have overcome that it is not 'my problem' and something for me to correct.- he has to work harder at being well... nice ! and attractive to me. So quality all the way- I expect that best behaviour and got the opportunity to address other concerns that were big barriers to my desire & grumpiness is not tolerated, back rubbing and gentleness have their own rewards and may lead on to sex. It gets better and better

Marie - posted on 08/16/2010

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good idea Bonnie, I have just started that process that myself, have been put on 5 different sorts of medication which just give other side effects, so would love to here from mums that have alternative methods of dealing with this. x

Bonnie - posted on 08/15/2010

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Hi everyone.
Could you please join our Circle - Women and Menopause or Peri-Menopause. I started this group and this conversation so that others could also find us and share their experiences.
I am sorry that you too are going through this terrible thing. I guess it will be great for all of us when we finally move into the next phase......can't wait.
Please tell your friends about this new group so we can learn from each other.
Please post to the Women and Menopause Circle and add me to your circle so I can get to know you. Thanks.

Bonnie Gray
Administrator
Women and Menopause or Peri-Menopause

Bonnie - posted on 08/15/2010

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Hi everyone. Please join the Women and Menopause Community so we can all connect and help each other out. See you there!

Bonnie Gray

Bonnie - posted on 08/15/2010

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Hi Everyone,
Thanks for all of your comments and helpful advice about menopause, hot flashes, etc. I have started a special group called Moms and Menopause so we can discuss this.
Please join this group so we can help each other out. Thanks.
Bonnie Gray

Bonnie - posted on 08/15/2010

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Wow! Great to hear from all of you.
I am 53. I will be celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary this month and we have a beautiful 23 yr. old daughter who just graduated from University. I have been peri-menopause for the last 10 years or so but the last 6 months has been the toughest. Must be closer to Menopause by now? Bled for months, then it stopped for 3 months, then started again with a vengeance for 4 months and has now stopped again. Hot flashes, moodiness, exhaustion from lack of sleep, no sex drive. I miss me and our normal relationship!

I just started taking Black Cohosh but so far it's not working but it might take a few weeks. Anyone else have any luck with it?

Thanks for posting everyone. Please tell your friends so that we can all learn and grow from each other........To cooler days! :)

Bonnie Gray

[deleted account]

I"m 47 and going to menaopause me too. I also have a throid problem als with that, so the symptons are almost the same so struggle with that. When i get hot flashes I go the the freezer and poke my whole int . also have the insonima, mood swings, they are many issues to deal with. glad there is someone to talk about this issue.

Vicki - posted on 08/14/2010

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I really dislike the ht flashes that come at any time they do desire. Esp when it is 106 in the shade

Kelly - posted on 08/12/2010

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Hi I am going thru peri-menapause...had been having back pain, anxiety you name it..was not doing well. Found out about natural progesterone cream.I feel soooo much better. Withing 2 days I was feeling like myself again. I feel like I need to scream it from the rooftops...HELP IS AVAILABLE!!

Kathleen - posted on 08/11/2010

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I am not there just yet but have a sister-in-law who swears by Black Cohash for night sweats...

Debra - posted on 08/11/2010

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My youngest I had at 42 my first at 40. I am starting peri-menopause for sure. I am " damp" in the am but gave at least 1-3 mean hotflashes a day, on top of 100 degree heat indexes let me tell ya...my own personal summer..the sweating is so bad it often rolls down myback...my hair is soaked...I feel disgusting..God luv the women that can honor the crone....

Terry - posted on 08/08/2010

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You won't believe this (my Dr. was baffled), but I'm on my second round of post-menopausal. I've been from pre- to post-menopause twice. The first time I used soy protein to control the hot-flashes and night-sweats. This time I'm using an all natural supplement that balances my whole endocrine system (hormones). Good-bye vaginal dryness, hot-flashes, night-sweats, and mood-swings. My husband even takes it for male menopause. Thank you Lord for PLUS!

Liz - posted on 08/08/2010

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I will be 56 in a week, and I have hot flashes during the morning hours, well usually during the morning hours. But this last week, I have been having them in the afternoons also. I don't mind them, but when I sub in the middle school it does get interesting. I had one in the middle of a sex ed class that I was subbing in (the gym teachers do this class, and I subbed for her for a half a day). I kept on the lesson plan, and then when it was almost time for the class to be over, I let them ask questions. The first question was, why are you sweating and turning red? I told them that it was a hot flash, and that I don't like them but they are natural and they are part of life for most women when they get to my stage of life. One girl said, OH like my Mom. she gets them and we just leave her alone. I said,yes like that.

I have not had my period for almost 2 years, and do not miss it. I do not miss the PMS I had, but I do miss my good night sleep. I take melatonin to sleep and it usually helps. I have to take it at 9:30 if I want to go to bed at 10:30. I have found that my sex drive has been amped up a little bit and my husband loves that, but I hate the dryness. I never had to use anything to lubricate, but now I do. I am also thinking I am having a "mid life crisis". I ditched the mini van, okay, my 16 year old is being forced to drive it, got a small car, I started bowling on a league, I started thinking about going back to school to see what I can pick up as a fun course. But miss my periods, NEVER! LOL

[deleted account]

I have hot flashes and night sweats from time to time,but my periods are still regular.I don't know about menopause because all the women in my family had hysterectomies in their mid-40s,so I don't know what my situation is going to be or what to expect??? I would love for my periods to go away because they are so painful,horrid migraines,cramps,nausea,mood swings,you name it.I have been having the hot flashes since I was 39.is there some kind of test I can get to find out if I'm near menopause?

Charlene - posted on 08/07/2010

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I am also 50. After my last child, born in 1996 I had it all taken out. It think it has helped me not to go through such a hard menopause. I get hotflashes at times, but I am able to deal with them. Having it all removed, I think, is the best thing that I have done. After a certain age, those parts are dying off and they are not needed anymore. Life is more bareable with those parts being removed.

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