Moms over 40 with preschool and elementary school kids needing to chat

Iris - posted on 02/08/2009

I am 44 with a 7 year old girl and 4 year old boy. I am trying to run my own business. But it is slow right now. So I take the time to paint the walls and do the things I normally do not get done. Keeping up with things is hart. The laundry never seems to stop and as soon as the kitchen is clean the next meal needs to be prepared. I did discover the housefairy and that helps a bit. The kids get a little goody if they pick up their room and make their bed. Dd gets Bella Sara carts and ds a little car.

Shana - posted on 02/07/2009

Hi Rhoda, my name is Shana and I am 40, I too got married at 35 and have a 3 almost 4 year old girl. and 2 almost 3 year old boy. My kids run circles around me too. I stay at home with them but they keep me on my toes all day long. I stay sane by taking a night for me. or maybe a Saturday all day. and some times i get my husband to take them to there ranch, I get a whole weekend for me. I am a happier and more patient mom if i get some me time. if i don't i go crazy and then my husband hears every thing !! would love to chat more.

Barbara - posted on 02/07/2009

Hi,

I just try to do everthing I can and put off the stuff I think doesn't really matter. Like clean house and vacuum. I think it's more important to spend time with the kids and their interests. Time goes by too fast and I'd rather be able to say I spent time with my kids then worried about a clean house. Besides what mother do you know that is sane!

Claudia - posted on 02/07/2009

Hi, Rhoda
I am 44 (45 next month) and I have a 4 yr old at home, My circumstances are a bit different because we are adopting him. I worked for a while, and was working full time when Brandon came to live with us, but had to quit working because of stress,
I''m not working outside the home right now.

Lisa - posted on 02/07/2009

Hello, I'm 41 and am in similar circumstance as you.  Married at 31 and have 5 and 2 year old sons.  I stayed at home until October of 2008, therefore recently going back to work.  It's been a difficult transition for me to go back to work and pay someone to stay with my 2 year old and not feel as if he is getting all that I gave him but having to pay for it!   My boys are running circles around me and I find myself drinking almost a pot of coffee a day just to survive.  I have started taking a Women's formula vitamin and it is helping some.  However, I get home around 7pm, help with baths and bedtime then clean the kitchen and get stuff ready for the next day and then I sit down to finish up my workday.  I'm usually finished around 10-11 depending on all that I have to write. Then my day starts all over again at about 5:30-6am everyday...even weekends!  Oddly enough, I am a mental health therapist who works with children at risk of being hospitalized due to mental illness.  So my job is very stressful at times trying to help other families deal with the crises in their own homes.  I recently felt the guilt because I had to go help other families when my own 2 boys were home sick with double ear infections and high temps.  I am the one who usually deals with illnesses but my husband had to take off a couple of days because I'm so new at my own job.  What I do to stay sane is get everything done that needs to get done no matter how late I have to stay up then I try to take a few hours (usually grocery shopping) and run into the nail salon to have a manicure or pedicure.  Or I try to have accupuncture, I'm trying to find a good massage therapist to go to, I always feel better after a good massage.  My husband is really good too because he doesn't mind taking the kids and doing stuff with them so I can have some time to work or play (I just have to give myself permission to take time for me).  I hope this helps...and know that sometimes it is just the validation that you area good mom and do all that you can this is what helps the most....Lisa

Joyce - posted on 02/06/2009

Hi Rhoda, I'm 41 and have a 5 year old son (just one kid...that's all we wanted), we could never decide if we wanted kids or not and then one day we did then one day we didn't want any and over and over and over again. I'm glad we had one kid, he is a blast. I would never in a million years want another though. I work 4 days a week and our son is in kindergarten in the morning and daycare in the afternoon. I don't feel like I have to juggle most of the time, but I hate getting home so late every night the most (5:30-6:00 pm). Christopher only has one activity going on right now, Ukrainian Dancing. I think I will always keep him in just one at a time rather than having to be committed to something every night. I would imagine it is all the more tough with two kids though. The way I see it, things always work out in the end. Remember to take time for yourself often, that's how I stay sane!

Nancy - posted on 02/06/2009

Hi Rhoda

I'm a 46 year old mom with a 9 yr old boy and twin 8 yr old girls and they totally run circles around me!  I also work outside the home and actually travel a lot for my job.  To balance things when I'm home or home and not working (also work from home a lot) I try to focus on the kids.  The housework suffers, but with the kids getting older, it is easier to get my work done while they entertain themselves.  Since I travel - I get my "me" time when I'm on the road - I have no other real options so it works. 

Just know that as your girls get older, they will get more independant and need less of your time which makes things easier.  I also highly recommend getting a sitter every now and then just so you can go out and have some time for yourself.  Another thing I found is to hire  a "mother's helper" (a young girl) who can entertain the kids while you get work done around the house.  I did that when my kids were 4,4, & 5 and I had to pack all our stuff as we were going to be moving and my husband was the one traveling all the time - thus the packing was all up to me.  She was a 10/11 yr old neighbor girl and I paid her maybe $4/hr.  It was wonderful!

Nancy