My 12 year old daughter needs to lose weight. She likes all the fattening foods like hot chips and sweets. Should I resort to bribery....she wants a new mobile phone....should I say I will buy it for you when you lose 10 kilos?! I have bought her a treadmill and I tell her what she should eat but she lacks motivation.

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Cathy - posted on 02/13/2009

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I find even for myself, when I do my shopping I do not buy any chips, sweets and cookies anymore, coz if it is in the cupboard then I am going to eat it. I buy lots of fresh fruit and put them in a fruit basket on the table so it is easy available and looks so inviting. so when I am looking for something to nibble on I just grab a fruit. yes bribery will also work, but then make sure there is healthy foods availble for her to eat. Rice cakes, are good and tasty. also encourage her to drink lots of water, and or fruit juce. it is all about changing her diet.It might even help if you both go for long walks, it is more fun if you do it with someone rather than on your own. hope this helps. it is not easy to loose the weight, but with mum doing it with her you could call it mum and daughter time. while you walking you can chat about her and you will be surprised what you will learn, We sometimes think we know our kids but they surprise us all the time.

it is also a great time to start an open relationship with her, coz she is going into her teens and that is when they tend to go into their own little world and shut you out, if you do not keep your relationship open.

good luck hope this helped.

Angie - posted on 02/13/2009

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Get rid of the junk food and encourage her to exercise by exercising with her. Stay away from nutrasweet type products as research shows that it can acutally cause hunger. As long as she's eating healthy foods and getting enough exercise, she'll be great. Making her worry about her weight is only going to make things worse. If she sees you using the treadmill, she will too but don't tell her that it's "her" treadmill or she'll get poor self esteem. Good luck! I"m sure she'll be great!

Megan - posted on 11/21/2013

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first I commend you for wanting to make a change to help your daughter! My tip is to get involved in something fun you and your daughter can do together. HIke, skate, swim, dance...Getting your whole family in better health will make you all feel better and closer cause you are setting goals together. This is a good book because it gives ideas for menu planning as well as activities. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0983725...
Try oatmeal in the morning with fresh fruit. Its fast, inexpensive, filling, good for you and delicious.
Run around outside with your daughter... play tag, have relay races, jump rope. If the weather is bad put on some dance music and spend a full half hour every day shakin your booty! Laugh and have fun with it! No sitting to watch tv walk in place during the show and jog in place during commercials.
Get some games that require movement http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0081AW...
orhttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DLYK...
Have fun,take her to grocery store and let her pick anything in the produce section. look up recipes online and cook together, eat fresh low sugar low fat items, drink only skim milk and water, NO JUNK FOOD, apples, oranges, bananas, berries, nuts, turkey, chicken, fish, egg whites, broccoli, sugar snap peas, carrots, celery, tomatoes. And play, walk, dance, for at least half an hour every day. Be a team... have fun while getting fit together!

Fran - posted on 01/27/2013

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The best idea is to put the healthy food in front of her and not give her the option of the junk food. If it's not in the house she won't eat it. Try to not make it so much about the weight, but about nourishing her body from the inside out with vitamins and minerals.

Susan - posted on 02/11/2009

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I for one lack motivation too, I think it would be a great idea to get her a good Christian book about fitness or one of her favorite books.  Tell her its an incentive to motivate her to stand on the treadmill and read!  I took a class at the local college to get motivated to stop sitting on the couch in the evening and munching.  So far I have also started making a prayer list at work and praying on the tread mill, in between songs.  At 12 yrs old its hard to get her motivated without giving her something.  Give her a hug and tell her how much you worry about her weight!  Be honest!   

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Taryn - posted on 03/04/2014

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Plz help me I,am having trouble and I'm only 12 I want to lose,weight but it's hard for me I would really apreachiate if u help me u could get,a hold of me in Facebook my name is taryn black and u can also get a hold of me on kik and my name on kik is scam artist and thank u if u do help me I really would apreachiate it if u did help and ya hope u all could help me

Taryn - posted on 03/04/2014

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I'm 12 and im having trouble because my family can't help buying sweets and it's hard not to eat it and 20:05 at night and I'm gonna try to stop eating sweets and u all adults could help me if u could get a hold of me and make sure I eat healthy by getting a hold on me on Facebook my name is Taryn Black on Facebook and I hav a kik and my name it scam artist so if u have a kik or a Facebook I would really appreciate it if u help me

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2013

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fist you should take all the fatty foods out of the house till she learns a good eating habbit. It will be tuff and she will stomp and whine, you just need to say "NO." Also try to find what she likes to do. My daughter enjoy's the Wii. She can play games and stay active at the same time. Also kids learn by example, if you start to do it she'll want to do it to; especially if you look like you're having fun. You also might want to monitor how much telivision she is wataching as well as how much time she is spending on the computer. I make my kids play outside 30min a day, and yes they will whine that mommy makes them play; sad but true. also chores in the house can help them burn cal. and help you with a cleaner house. it takes 30days to change a habbit, good luck.

Jaden Mae - posted on 01/22/2013

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my duaghter is the same way. the treadmill might be a little intimadating for her. dont try to bribe or motivate her into eating healthy. get rid of the junk and buy somthing that taste good and is still healthy. try friuts and crackers and stay away from the cheese and yogurt and bannanas their pretty bad on the stomach.

Cookie - posted on 01/01/2013

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I agree with Donna Martin, if your daughter really needs to be modivated, maybe this is a time for mom and daughter to go for walks or bike rides together. Not to just loose weight, but to bond with her. My daughter tries to outrun me and of course I let her win.
I would just take this time to let what junk food in the house run out and replace with healthy snacks. That way it wont be such a shock.
Good luck on this...

Renajah - posted on 12/30/2012

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I am 12 and I have no kid but I know bribery doesn't work if the kid doesn't get it. He or she will not do what you want them to if you just lie to them. Honest is better. Make a piece of cake for every 1 mile ran or reward that you will give them certainly.

Teresa - posted on 02/13/2009

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bless you, 10 and having her period. My daughter turned 10 in December and i am just waiting for it. Not sure if she is ready for it, she is bit of a drama queen. They have not talked about it in school yet, that comes at the end of 4th grade here. I have talked to her as have her 2 older sisters - 23 & 19.
But she too has had growth spurt already and is looking great, the battle of the bulge is a family thing with some of us women, so genetics has a lot to do with it sometimes but we refuse to let it be the final word

I am doing a case study for an honors class on Obesity, school lunches, accessibility to fast food, and fitness among children or lack there of. I believe that 4 recess a day are too many and 2 of those could be put into a PE class everyday!!
So if any of you have any good info for me id appreciate it! I have a lot already and it is fascinating!

Sheri - posted on 02/13/2009

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I've found that if you stress eating healthy, exercise, looking their best and never "a diet" the child will eventually grow taller, and lose some of the baby fat naturally. When a young girls is hitting puberty they seem to get more hungry and they do put on weight. My 10 year old had her first period a week before she turned 10. She has shot up almost over night and that pudge that was theretwo months ago, is getting flatter. We just keep talking about being healthy and clamp down on any of the negative stuff that comes out of her brother's mouth.

Kimberly - posted on 02/13/2009

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One thing I did for my son when he needed to loose weight was put a list of healthy good foods together to show him he's not totally missing out. (Examples)I'd get the Sugar Free Jello and put in small indivudual containers so they are easy to grab. (Sugar Free Whip toppings) Plus you can watch now many are consumed. I cut put cheese and put in to baggies. Celery, Carrots are cut up and in the frig.. Flavored Sugar free drink packets for water, gives the Kool-Aid tast but no sugar. We watched his Carb intake along with the fat intake. Made sure he eats a healthy breakfast in the morning. This was alot of maintance on my part. I did these on Sunday so all the healthy snacks were available through the week and he had to make the last until Sunday. One thing I did know. Is I had to take the lead. They will not do it on there own and bribery doesn't not help.

My son lost 27 Lbs in 3 months. With a change to Healthier good and a walk with me everynight. There alot of search engines .. Google. That you can look up ideas for Heathy eating. Hope this helps.

Rita - posted on 02/11/2009

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Hi Jean,

I agree with most of the suggestions regarding not having the food available at home and that she be seen by a doctor first.

I would like to stress that at 12, she is at a very impressionable age, and it concerns me that there is more focus on loosing weight rather than just plain eating in a healthy manner.

So many of our young children become victim to eating disorders for this very reason, that everyone is telling them they have to lose weight.. where as if the focus is on healthy eating.. it is from within, maybe get her into a local sport team or maybe even make some Mum and Daughter time and do some walks, starting with short distances and gradually making them longer... it will also give an opportunity to help educate and guide her healthy eating program.. please don't use words like diet etc.

So very delicate are our children... I have two 'sets' older, and younger ones... They are beautiful children and I had major issues with my two older daughters, now 17 and 16... when they saw themselves as overweight etc. I just encouraged healthy eating patterns.. I myself have a lot of weight to lose due to a physical injury that restricts my level of exercise, but gentle encouragement and education is the direction I feel that is required. NOT bribery and badgering which will only force her to binge eat behind your back..

Good Luck

Rita

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AS a weight watchers leader for years I felt so bad for the girls who were dragged in by the mothers, they need o want to do it...The child needs to learn by example. Teach them what a correct portion size is, read labels together and eat 1 serving of something.Keep fruits and vegetables in the house for snacking. Model the behavior that you want you child to exhibit with out saying o much.Most importantly turn off the TV and computer and get moving. Let your child be in charge of their own body and make your home a healthy home. It is a worry we all have but don't make it a cotrol issue.

Marcelle - posted on 02/11/2009

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I can't add much to all the good advice. My daughter was overweight at 10, now at 13 she is still fitting into those 10yearold clothes, only the cute ones.



Talk the talk and walk it. More because hubby was developing cholesterol problems, but also to help all of us:

a) Don't fry anything.

b) Don't have the junk in the house.

c) Get a fruit and vegetable delivery each week. It makes a big difference to how much fresh fruit and vegetables a family has each week.

d) Give her lunch to take to school each day. I'm not in the US so it is not as big a deal here.

e) There's only one TV in the house and it is never on all the time. Even reading is healthier.

f) Stop going everywhere in the car. She uses public transport for school, and walks to school if she misses the bus.



She is so much happier now without having to worry about her weight. She even does small workouts on some kind of weekly basis, of her own volition.



Good luck, it is not easy to turn a whole family around. You can do it. Our whole family has stopped gaining weight.

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Make sure you consult a doctor and make sure she IS overweight, not just that you think she is. Weightwatchers is an excellent healthy eating plan. Join Weightwatchers yourself. If you’re not overweight, say you’re doing it so that you can learn about healthy eating and maintain your healthy weight. (You may not need to do this but it might lead to your daughter joining you.)

Emphasise healthy eating rather than losing weight. I’m not in favour of the dollar per kilo or the phone after 10 kilos as this emphasises the weight loss.

Eliminate junk from the house. Provide 3 proper meals and 2 or 3 planned snacks. If you get refusal, you’ll need to go back to basics - don’t ask her what she wants, just make the meal and sit down and eat it too – be a good role model. If she doesn’t eat it, there’s no alternative until the next meal or snack. Be a good role model with regard to exercise – you use the treadmill too, watching a TV program while you use it.
Don’t give her money, give her food for school. Tell her you are saving her pocket money (and you can also add to it the money you’ve saved by not buying the junk anymore) and take her out for a clothes shopping trip after a fortnight (and monthly after that). She will be thrilled with the changes in her body. Buy new clothes each month, don’t just say ‘Let’s leave it until you’ve lost a bit more weight’. It will motivate her. Let her choose to spend her money on clothes, skin care, make-up, new hair dos, bags, accessories, CDs, DVDs. Maybe buy her the mobile after about 6 weeks. Each month, when you’re all shopped out, go somewhere to have a coffee and/or a snack with her and be a good role model and choose something healthy yourself.

I agree with most of what has been said, the only difference is I would say 20 or 30 mins exercise a day is adequate for health, the idea of 40 minutes at first can be overwhelming. The good thing is that exercise is addictive after a very short time. Walking together is a good idea, the carrot and celery sticks idea is good, and a good dip is a small tub of plain yoghurt, a large tub of cottage cheese and 2 packet soups mixed together. The packet soups are salty but my GP told me that you only have to avoid salt if you have high blood pressure. Get your GP to test her blood pressure when you see him/her.

Cyndi-Ann - posted on 02/11/2009

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I agree with those that say stop making it available to her, Take it out of the house, at 12 she is unlikely to have her own money other than what you give her.  When she wants to buy unhelathy food with it say NO, and stick to it. You can not put a child that young on a diet, and frankly I worry about you even talking to her about losing weight she is at a critical age where body image is already bad and easily influenced. A 12 year old should not be worried about her weight she should be worried at most about being healthy. Incorporate some activites into the household that are more active. Instead of talking to her about how over weight she is, try taking her snowboarding, or go swimming as a family.  She is twelve take her and a friend of hers for a fun day to the mall, while there walk a bit faster than usual.

Lieve - posted on 02/11/2009

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My daughter of 9 years also weighs 10 pounds too much. But I fear that in its lack of motion. As single and working mother, I can not subscribe her to any sport, because the hours do not correspond with my work.

Katharine - posted on 02/11/2009

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I would avoid bribery or rewards.  This tactic can really back fire leading to major resentment.



Keeping unhealthy foods out of the house is important but remember that you can't control everything that goes into her.  My mom kept strict control of my diet, (she was one of the first healthfood fanatics).  I didn't learn good eating habits.  I learned to lie, cheat and steal to get the treats I wanted.  When I moved out at 18 I went crazy for a while.  Cookie dough for breakfast and popcorn at every meal! 



Your daughter needs a lifestyle change.  She needs to want to eat healthy foods and exercise.  I think exercising with her is a great idea but, at these times, you may do better being her friend rather than an authority.  If she doesn't want to do it, you can't make her.



Absolutely put the treadmill in front of the tv!  Remind her that time spent watching can be spent productively.    Remind her, gently, that exercising a lot means not having to worry quite so much about every bite of food.  And, believe me, as an american, adolescent girl, she does worry about it. 



Get her some cute workout clothes.  Every activity is more apealing when a girl finds out that there is shopping involved.



Encourage her to walk in order to get to the things she enjoys.  I love going downtown and getting a coffee at a cute cafe.  I off set the calories by walking there and back.  If fun places are too far from home, drive closer but park a few blocks away. 



Can she take dance classes?  There are classes aimed at people just looking to have fun and get some exercise.  A place where she wouldn't stand out against hard core dancers. 



 



 



 



 



 

Deyanira - posted on 02/11/2009

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Bribery it is not the nices thing to do, I will suggest get involve with her in activities like go biking,swimming,playing soccer, if you do have a YMCA membership take her along with you.. and the best thing spent time with her and helping her and why not having a little work out for you..PLUS changing habits in food at home also for you many ways to keep healthy and tasty...being a 12 years Old is probably that is baby fat still but if you take her to her pediatrician and discuss this may be will sugest other appproach, remmember she is in the stage body is changing and if she is not aware of this will reasult in weights probl;ems in the future..

Kathleen - posted on 02/11/2009

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Hi Jean,

Speaking from experience (I was that way when I was young) and still battling weight issues, your daughter will have to want to lose the weight herself first - like anyother habit - as long as the food choices are not due to medical conditions. I was the only one in my family overweight growing up - my sisters would sit down and eat a plateful of french fries - gravy - cheese and not gain an ounce - I would look at it and feel my hips widening. It got easier once I decided that enough was enough - which was about the age of 15. Does she like any phyical activities - that might help - I joined volleyball and that helped.

Dahli - posted on 02/11/2009

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Try exercises where you can be involved with her. Walking is great. Turn it into a game.

offer snacks that are healthy don't have the other snack foods in the house. When she is hungry enough she will try them or not her choice not yours. Don't mak yourself the bad person. And instead of getting her the phone. Give her the a goal of the phone for the entire weight goal and offer her a dollar a kilo. Because if she wants it bad enough she will work towards it. Again give if the choice, that way when she doesn't get it. you are not the bad person.

Teresa - posted on 02/11/2009

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i too have a daughter (10) who is above the NORMAL weight for her age, but she is growing up a few inches every year, her middle sister is nearly 6 ft tall so i am hoping that she too will be tall. I am not only 5 51/2. i was 5 6-7 in my younger years and now am shrinking,oh yeh!!
Don't get the phone unless it is for emergency's, i do not have a home/landline phone only a mobile and i plan on getting my daughter one for emergencies and for when i am not home and she needs to get ha old of me to let me know she is going to the library or a friends house after school. She will have no access to texting and her minuets will be limited, and if you do they are not allowed in most schools. Don't bribe her with it, make her earn it with chores, she will be doing exercise with out even knowing it and go on walks with her, ride bikes with her. Don't buy foods you know she and you should not be eating, i have quit buying any kind of soda/pop, no junk foods here. I am a carb addict and really struggle myself. My daughters cholesterol was also high and with the help of a dietitian and school nurse and the school's kitchen manager i was able to help her make better choices for eating at school. Everyone thought i was crazy for having her cholesterol checked, but we have a family history of it. My thyroid also is acting up, so i checked hers and its ok. Just a few things that you can use i hope! Show her that you too are going to eat healthy and exercise. Our body needs it!!!

Donna - posted on 02/11/2009

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Quoting Jean:
Hi
My 12 year old daughter needs to lose weight. She likes all the fattening foods like hot chips and sweets. Should I resort to bribery....she wants a new mobile phone....should I say I will buy it for you when you lose 10 kilos?! I have bought her a treadmill and I tell her what she should eat but she lacks motivation.




Hi Jean



 



No when kids or anyone are bribed to lose weight, they will usually gain it back.  I was get her movtivated by taking all junk food out of the house for a while until she learns moderation.  Speak to her about her health and show her what it looks like inside her body - the layers of fat and what that stuff does to clogg the body..  Tell her how important it is to be thin - not just for looks, but for her health and longjevity. 



 



  I would lovingly make it mandatory.  Is she the only one who is over weight in the house?  Always remember that you are the gate keeper when it comes to meals and food. Your daughter is now 12 and there are more ways for her to obtain the junk than just in the home.  However, if you speak to her lovingly about her body, and tell her what you would like for her to do and make it a project you can do together, then I think she'll come around.  You are the parent and you can tell her that this not good for her and that you want to make changes for the whole family not just her.



 



Tell her if she must have chips and junk outside the home she must get on the tread mill for at least 1 hour.  And  just for her health alone she should be on it for 40 minutes a  day going at a good pace.  She;ll be slow to start, but once the weight comes off then she'll have an easier time and her endurance will get better.



Make it mandatory that she will eat all food groups without any junk for one month.  Then eventually and slowly incorporate a little healthy junk like baked chips, low fat ice cream.  Show her how to make baked french fries.....



 



Finally go for walks with her and make it mandatory that neither one of you can flake out.  Cold?  Bundle up.  Bad area? Get in the car and drive to a better one. She doesn't mind? No friends - no allowance.  you are still the parent.



 



Good luck and keep me posted.

Donna - posted on 02/11/2009

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Quoting Jean:
Hi
My 12 year old daughter needs to lose weight. She likes all the fattening foods like hot chips and sweets. Should I resort to bribery....she wants a new mobile phone....should I say I will buy it for you when you lose 10 kilos?! I have bought her a treadmill and I tell her what she should eat but she lacks motivation.




Hi Jean



 



No when kids or anyone are bribed to lose weight, they will usually gain it back.  I was get her movtivated by taking all junk food out of the house for a while until she learns moderation.  Speak to her about her health and show her what it looks like inside her body - the layers of fat and what that stuff does to clogg the body..  Tell her how important it is to be thin - not just for looks, but for her health and longjevity. 



 



  I would lovingly make it mandatory.  Is she the only one who is over weight in the house?  Always remember that you are the gate keeper when it comes to meals and food. Your daughter is now 12 and there are more ways for her to obtain the junk than just in the home.  However, if you speak to her lovingly about her body, and tell her what you would like for her to do and make it a project you can do together, then I think she'll come around.  You are the parent and you can tell her that this not good for her and that you want to make changes for the whole family not just her.



 



Tell her if she must have chips and junk outside the home she must get on the tread mill for at least 1 hour.  And  just for her health alone she should be on it for 40 minutes a  day going at a good pace.  She;ll be slow to start, but once the weight comes off then she'll have an easier time and her endurance will get better.



Make it mandatory that she will eat all food groups without any junk for one month.  Then eventually and slowly incorporate a little healthy junk like baked chips, low fat ice cream.  Show her how to make baked french fries.....



 



Finally go for walks with her and make it mandatory that neither one of you can flake out.  Cold?  Bundle up.  Bad area? Get in the car and drive to a better one. She doesn't mind? No friends - no allowance.  you are still the parent.



 



Good luck and keep me posted.

Julie - posted on 02/11/2009

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I definately agree with what connie said. Dont mess with teenage hormones they can really backfire when you least expect them too. As long as she thinks its her idea and is way cool then she will be fine.



Maybe try not having easy snack foods around as that is usually a major problem as they sometimes need food in a hurry. I have cut up carrot and celery sticks and keep them in the fridge and this seems to help somewhat. It really depends on what she likes too.

Sharon - posted on 02/11/2009

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hi, i have a twelve year old who had to loose weight for a while and all i did was take out all the fattening food out of the house, i made her save her pocket money so she couldn't buy her own sweets and stand very firm with her. i had a lot of tantrums and shouting but she found out that it didn't efect me whatsoever.she lost the weight eventually or she got taller and her weight is back to normal according to the doc lol. good luck.



Shaz



 

Connie - posted on 02/10/2009

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it's been my experience tween and teens are apt to do the opposite of what you tell them, so I'd back off a bit. Stock the house with healthy foods, put the treadmill near the television and let her think eating healthy and exercising is her idea.

Michele - posted on 02/10/2009

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Have you talked to your family Doctor?  He or she would be able to help with some suggestions and advice.  Is the treadmill near a tv?  Maybe you could put on a movie she likes and take tlurns on the treadmill.  I am not sure what to say about the phone... I do know that when my husband (who has been overweight since the age of 2) was in his early teens..his family all said that if he lost so much weight they would give him so much money to take with him to Mexico....he lost the weight but after the trip when he was back home and life went back to normal he gained the weight back.  I have put on weight and I know how hard it is to give up my favourite foods (pop-chips etc)...I try to allow myself a treat once a day if I want it..but in moderation.  And I also am trying to eat more fruits and veggies and I am starting to  crave them instead of the junk.   Good luck.

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