Lis - posted on 06/09/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
He has been trouble since he was four years old, one thing or another. By the time he hit his teens, he was stealing from me and anyone else that had anything he wanted, sneaking out of the home, running around with "wangsters", refused to follow my rules, etc.
Fast forward to now. He married his long-time girlfriend in November 2011. He was cheating on her before they were married. In fact, he was cheating on her, pretty much, throughout the entire relationship. We tried warning her, subtly, throughout that time. He was using her for her money. He doesn't want to work. He lays around until he feels like getting up out of bed and then disappears until the wee hours of the next morning having spent her out of house and home. He drinks and smokes pot heavily. I've been told he also uses cocaine here and there. He deals as well. He sleeps with strippers he meets at all the joints he regularly goes to. There is so much more I could say, but this is the gist of it all.
A couple of months ago, his wife called us and asked us for the truth about what we knew he was doing. He had been using us as his "alibi" when he wouldn't go home to his wife. He also used my sister and her husband as an "alibi"...all without our consent because we refuse to lie for him. We finally told her everything we knew. This past Sunday night, she went to my sister and her husband and asked them the same thing. They told her everything they knew, which apparently was even more than we knew. She confronted him and he responded by hitting her head against the car and choking her. Yes, she is still with him. She doesn't believe in divorce.
This past Monday morning, he woke me by calling me on my cellphone and screaming/yelling about how he was tired of everyone "lying" about him (no one lied about anything as the things we told her were witnessed by us and were also things he had, himself, said to us) and everyone was going to pay for what they are saying. He's going to kill everyone, specifically me, my husband, my stepson, my sister, her husband, and his ex-best friend. He is going to take out his vengeance on us all and I'll believe it when I see it in the news, etc. He's never threatened our lives before and there is a history of violence against me in his juvenile record. I am scared of him. We filed a police report in case anything happens. We were going to file for an injunction, but were told that, because he made the threats the way he did (told my sister he was going to kill her, her husband, the ex-best friend and me and then told me he was going to kill my sister, her husband, my husband and my stepson), he didn't make direct threats...he went around making direct threats, except for telling my sister he was going to kill her and her husband (he knows she won't do anything about that), so the judge would not grant the injunction on "hearsay".
I haven't heard from my son since Monday after the phone call. My heart aches knowing that my son has basically disowned me. My husband is his stepfather and there has never been a real relationship between the two of them, so my husband feels nothing about it. My heart aches because I may have lost my son forever. At the same time, I'm afraid of him. He can't be trusted. Life has to go on, but how am I going to come to terms with being estranged from my only biological child? Do I just write him off in my heart? How? My husband has flatly stated that that was my son's last chance and he blew it, he's not permitted to come around us unless he has straightened his life out and apologized years down the road. I get what he's saying, but my heart is a different story.
Has anyone else been where I am now?