My adult daughter is clinically depressed and might get fired from her job on Monday

Suzan - posted on 06/07/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My adult daughter has a toddler and recently miscarried the second child. She is extremely depressed and emotional, so much so that it is affecting her work. She has made a few mistakes at work (one very big one) and now her boss "has had it" with her and says that nothing my daughter says will change her mind. Her boss is going to talk to her next week.

My daughter is afraid of getting fired. I don't know what to tell her. If she loses her job and income, she will also lose her health insurance.

She's applied for another job and is at a loss for people to get reference letters from, because she sure can't ask her current boss. She asked a coworker for a reference letter, but that person declined.

My daughter and I live in different states and I hardly get to see her.

Any advice?
Thanks.

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Kimberly - posted on 06/10/2012

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Hi Suzan. I'm 44 and not only have I battled with depression on and off most of my life, but I'm a human resources professional and I'm hoping I'm not too late to help. Depression is a disease and is not simply sadness but a true chemical imbalanc in the brain. In addition to the grief of losing a child, I'm sure your daughters hormones are all over the place. If she has not, she must seek help from her dr right away. Depression meds help modify those imbalances and that helps you to make clearer decisions. They take a few weeks to "kick in" but they are worth it. I don't know the details of what went wrong, but it may not be too late for your daughter to take a stress leave from work. She many simply need to get her head together...and if she goes on meds, she can use that time to get balanced. Maybe she should go to the dr on Monday. If she opts not to do this, and If her boss does bring her in to talk with her, it could be helpful for your daughter to ads it that she has been sick and would like to go on leave. I don't know what state you are in, however in manynstates admitting to an illness forces the employer to offer you a leave of abscence under the fmla laws. While she is on leave your daughternwill still have her medical coverage and if her dr approves it, she may be ccoverd by disability insurance. I would suggest that after getting herself together she look for another job in this situation or at least prepare herself to. She should get her resume together, update her linked in profile and begin searching.
If she hasn't searched in a while, most states have career centers that can help you get all of these things done....even if you are already employed...and it's free!

One last thing...if your daughter is married, then her husbands health insurance will cover her if she gets fired. Her loss of coverage will be a qualifying event Andre will be able to add her mid year. I hope this helps

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Suzan - posted on 06/10/2012

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Thanks for both replies, Lis and Kimberly. I really do appreciate the information and encouragement you provided to me.

Your responses have made me feel a little better; I'm so worried about my daughter.
My daughter was on meds for depression and stopped them when she tried for the second child. She will go back on them (I hope she already has).

Her husband's job doesn't offer health insurance that I know of. Her family is actually on her health insurance right now.

I only hope that her boss has cooled down and that the worst thing that happens tomorrow is that she gets a verbal or written warning. Her boss is aware that she stopped her meds and I agree that my daughter's hormones are all over the place.

Thanks again for taking the time to answer my post. I'll let you know what happens tomorrow.

Lis - posted on 06/09/2012

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Hi Suzan, I'm new here and I don't know what the answer is to your daughter's situation. I feel for her and all the anxiety and mourning I know she's experiencing. I feel for you because you probably feel so helpless being so far away from her. I just wanted you to know that someone is praying for you and your daughter. I know that all you can really do is let her know that you're there for her. I'm sorry I don't have any great wisdom to share. I'll be praying that it all works out for the best and she stays strong.

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