Rosalee - posted on 01/10/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )
6
24
Hi My name is Rosalee, I am 47 and have 4 children in their 20s and a 8 and soon to be ten year old.
We are going through some tough times. And lately they seem to think they do not have to listen and they have always been pretty well behaved. I explain to them that they are not their own bosses but they are persistent. We get through it but does any of you have any suggestions for us. I can use anything you have here.
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.
Join Circle of Moms
Edith - posted on 01/23/2011
120
13
Liz, I take my hat off to your mother. My pastor once made the coment that once the children were grown there was nothing you could do to disipline them. His wife is a good mother but has never felt she had to give their sons a "what for". I am just under 5 foot tall. you saw for yourself the power of a mother. I have not slaped him again but a few nights ago the adult son came in using words he should not use around a woman at all. His dad was so shocked he just set not saying a word. That was great with me. I quitely told my son to get off our land ( he lives on it) and not come back until he could say "sorry" and mean it. He came back a few minutes later calmed down, making excuses. I told him there were no excuses for what he did. Joey,17 developmentally 5 going on 30, was all eyes and just watched to see what I would do and say. One problem is too many children do not respect mothers enough to let us correct them like your mother and I did. Your mother and I do not say "wait until your daddy gets home." We deal with the problem then and there. Rosealee, you have raised 2 children. Draw on the strenth of your younger years and your experance the older children gave you and you can do it with the help of God Almighty. I am going to facebook now to give a 17 yr. old boy a talking too. He is 1500 miles from here and his mother is a push over. He thinks he can fool this old woman with a sweet " I did not mean it that way." Rosealee good luck to you. I will be think of you.
Janet - posted on 01/23/2011
24
20
I know a lot of kids that are going through this. Shows on disney are encouraging some of this too. Have you seen Hannah Montana or I Carly? Anyhow my only advise is to try to remain as calm as possible and show them the best way to behave. Kids learn by example first and foremost. If you stay calm and sit them down and communicate with them you can set rules that they may not like but will abide by because they have your respect.
Karen - posted on 01/23/2011
2
8
Totally agree Joy.
Karen - posted on 01/23/2011
2
8
Keep strong, as long as they know they can wear you down they will continue to do so. Just try real hard to stick with your first choice, if you have a husband or equal other bring them on board so you do not have to deal with this alone. I think children tend to make you feel real guilty when they do not get their own way. I am 52 have three teenagers under 15. They wear me out sometimes.
Liz - posted on 01/23/2011
61
0
I have to laugh, one time when my 5 foot 2 inch mother was standing in the kitchen with all of us, including my husband, My younger brother who was 18 let a "shit" slip out of his mouth. My mother, again who was 5'2" put her hand up and grabbed my 6'2" brothers chin and physically brought his face down to hers and proceeded to yell at him for 10 minutes. Just held his face there and told why we do not use swear words around her and how if she ever heard him use that one again, he would be finding out exactly what it meant by a trip to our Aunts farm and him cleaning out stables and cow stalls. He kept saying (or trying to say) that he was sorry. she had his chin in her hands, and was probably tugging on his beard, which he had tried to grow. He never used the word again in her presence.
Edith - posted on 01/23/2011
120
13
Every thing so far should help but I found big brother (18 yrs older) is a big help. He backs us up with problems. He even gets through to his younger cousins. Big brother was in his 20's when I had trouble with his mouth and slaped him. I know he did not expect it or he would have moved. We laugh about it now as I tell that story to children and send them to him. It has helped me get my bluff on more than one child. When little brother did that at school we found that the teachers were scard to punish him. When I made them understand it would be done as needed then followed up at home with discussing it most of the problem solved. So yes they may need more time one on one with you. Good luck
Liz - posted on 01/20/2011
61
0
mouthy tweens are normal, at least from what I have seen, and experienced. But I have all boys, and with them, when they got mouthy, I just started pulling things like video games, tv time, friend time, etc. When they started it again at about 16, cars , going out with friends, video and computer games, computer time, all were yanked. I also made a habit of knowing all passwords, and if I found out that they had an account that I could not get on, they were given the choice, Mom gets on, or your computer time is gone, period. My last one is 16 and we have a great time, probably because he watched his older brothers get yanked off stuff, due to the attitude and the mouths. LOL, I got really good at taking off a distributor cap when they thought they could sneak out. And I also got really good at detecting things, I give and gave each and everyone of them a big hug when they came home from events. One reason was that I happy to see them, and the second reason was to sniff them to see if they had been doing something that they shouldn't have. 4 of them are now grown men and they are good,solid, productive men who now appericate that their Mom was a pest. LOL
Joy - posted on 01/18/2011
50
18
Make sure you have a password on your computer and even if they have their own computers put passwords on them and they only go on the days they are respectful and listen. When they miss a day on the computer they will start to listen then!
Rosalee - posted on 01/16/2011
6
24
Thank You! I do love talking to my kids and they need more attention and listening from mom at this time in our lives. And they are familiar with our rules and maybe a little reminder would do us all good Thanks again.
Rosalee - posted on 01/16/2011
6
24
that is good advice I think I will try the cahrt thing because these two love stuff like that! Thanks And I did ask my little girl the other day about one of her friends she hangs with at school. And this has been one of my concerns is influences so thanks.
Dawn - posted on 01/13/2011
16
15
Tough times are tough on everyone -even the kids who we try hard to protect. Sit down and listen to them everyday. While I have no doubt that you are meeting their needs, they may need your attention just to talk about events in their lives or questions they may have. They may be worried and frustrated too. Give them something that they can do to help you or the situation. You might also have them tell you the rules and why they are necessary. Add or modify the rules and then post them for everyone. It's just human nature to question or buck things we don't understand.
Carole - posted on 01/12/2011
12
12
hi some kids are tryers i think all u have to do is be the boss in ur house they are way to young to think they can do as they like i would also look into outside influences like their friends and how they react to their parents if they see their friends react badly they may think they can get away with it with u...make good girl good boy chart award them when they are good with a smiley face and a sad face for bad behavour they have to have a week's full of smiley face b4 they get a award of ur choice any sad faces remove something they like let me know how this goes x
|
Top Communities |
Topics |
Top Features |
Learn More |
 |
12 Comments
View replies by