RAISING LITTLE ONES IN YOUR LATE 40'S AND 50'S

Debbie - posted on 04/24/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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HI MY NAME IS DEBBIE AND IAM RAISING AND HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GRANDAUGHTER WHO IS NOW 3YRS LD AND HAVE HAD HER SINCE SHE WAS THREE WEEKS OLD. I LOVE HER TO DEATH.

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Karen - posted on 04/29/2009

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hi am 49 and my daughter is just 2 and have 7 kids in all ,life is intereting and going to be a grandma just after my 50th and i love my life been doing the school run for 21year now

Christina - posted on 04/29/2009

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good for you! adoption is way for a person to continue to love and grow a family! my husband and I were going to adopt 4 girls, but at the last minute the courts decided that their mom had done all that they required to do...11th hour type of thing...have to think it was not ment to be...we had the girls for 26 months when they returned home. God has given us a little boy to make a part of the family...his adoption will be final in a couple of weeks....long journey but well worth it.

Christina - posted on 04/29/2009

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hello moms

my name is Christina, I have a 3 1/2 year old little boy...he came to us in a very unusual way...we have been foster parents for 4 years, have had I think 22 children (all at different times LOL). but what is unusual about zech is that he was part of a sibling group of 5...4 girls and him the girls were his half sisters...for some reason the courts decided they could go home, Zech's parental rights had all ready been terminated, so he stayed and we are now ready to finish our adoption process...a few more weeks. anyway, he has nieces and a nephew older then him. My children, are son 30 married two little girls, daughter who woould have been 29 in July she passed just recently and she had my only grandson, daughter 22, married she has a 13 month old girl and is expecting in august, daughter 20, married with a 1 year old little girl, son 16 still in school.

I saw from that chats that some of you are raising grandchilden, have adopted or have given bitrh later in life...too all of you I say congradulations!

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Girl, what were you thinking when you adopted 5 kids in your 40's??? LOL You are one of God's angels!! Keep on smiling! : )

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Diane, You deserve a gold crown. Your boys will be forever grateful. Aspergers is difficult. Our granddaughter was diagnosed with a Pervasive developmental disorder which is also one of the Autistic Spectrum Disorders. She seems to have overcome all but the social aspect of it. And has come a long way with that. Your boys will keep you very young at 57. Otherwise, you just might feel like a senior citizen! LOL I wanted to sign up for a warm water therapy class for arthritis but it is held at a time when there is no daycare provided. I learned quickly that everyone assumes no one of "our age" needs daycare. Well, I do as I have a bad back and deal with chronic pain on top of raising a 6 year old. That is discrimination. It's almost like saying you aren't allowed to be handicapped unless you are old. I'm tempted to start a petition so the class can also be offered at another time for people who need it other than 7:00 AM when getting kids ready for school during the school year and needing child care during the summer. Your boys are adorable! Are they quite active???

Diane - posted on 04/26/2009

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we are raising our adopted son with asbergers, It is an amazing journey I am 57.

Diane - posted on 04/26/2009

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We have always told our boy as much info as their ages deemed and only what they could digest. it is wonderful to watch children grow and mature that you know would have had a terrible time otherwise..

Diane - posted on 04/26/2009

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hi I am raising 3 children ages 8.10 and 11 and I am 57. We adopted them when they were babies out of foster care. My older "kids" are in their 30's. My husband will 60 in a few weeks.. It is a roller coaster journey with blessings and difficulties but the blessings far out way the hard times.. I wouldn't trade places for the world.. However, I never dreamed that I would be raising kids in my 50's they do keep us young.lol

Linda - posted on 04/26/2009

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I am 53 years old, and have been raising grandson for ten years next month. We have had him since he was 6weeks old He is our only grandchild, and likely will be the only.

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I was thinking of starting a group called "Grandmothers raising Grandkids" but after reading these posts, I think I've found where I belong. I have a 26 year old daughter, an 18 year old son (adopted at birth) and a 6 year old adopted daughter who is my biological granddaughter. We've had her physically living with us since she was 4 months old, I took care of her and her mom from birth and we got custody of her at age 7 months. The adoption was final at age 17 months. We also have a 23 month old granddaughter who does live with her mom.
Right now, our son is graduating from high school and our little one is graduating from kindergarten! LOL I'm 51 (almost 52), my husband is 61 & still working. I retired from teaching after 26 years due to several back surgeries which resulted in a disabling condition called Adhesive Arachnoidits. I'm on full Social Security Disability and was fortunate enough to get full teacher retirement. The pain is excruciating with this condition. I finally got an intrathecal pain pump implanted last July (2 days before V's 6th birthday) and the pain is finally somewhat under control. It's not perfect but at least it's tolerable. She was 3 when I was finally diagnosed but I have been in pain her whole life. It is caused by steroid injections and back surgeries (the fault of doctors), Labor epidurals, mylegrams, spinal blocks, etc. Nothing I signed consent for and was certainly never warned about.
I do feel that I have a special relationship with her because we've spent so much "one on one" time together when I wasn't able to do anything but lay around.
She's old enough to understand now where she came from but doesn't want to talk about it much. She refuses to refer to her birth mother as anything but her older sister. She knows she came from her tummy & has seen her baby book. She reads on third grade level and read all the captions under the pictures. Nothing was hidden from her. She is too smart, knows more than we want her to know and chooses not to talk about it. It's so different than the stages our son went through and the curiosity he had about his adoption. His adoption was planned, was through an agency, and did not involve a family member. We always told him he was adopted and we were open with him about it. At age eleven, he asked to read the letters from his birth mom and see her picture. That was the end of that. He doesn't want to find her now that he is 18.
He asked questions starting at age 4 and the questions became more detailed as he got older.
Our daughter hasn't done that and it's because she knows her Mom is our oldest daughter. I think she doesn't want to face the facts and doesn't want to call her Mom. She will talk to us about it but refuses to talk to our daughter about it. We will leave it up to her to accept it when she wants to accept it.
Good luck to all of you "mature Moms" out there! You are beautiful!!!!!! :)

Robynn - posted on 04/26/2009

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Susan, I was 44 when it happened to me. We thought we had our last one when I was 36. But God had other plans. I was actually in menopause. I had not had a cycle in months. Before that they had been very irregular for several years. We have been married for 29 yeasr. Marisol just turned two in march. The age range of my children, all biological, is 2, 10, 14, 17, 24, 26, and 27. Six boys and one girl. I have been there. I have seven grandchildren. They are 10 months, 5, 5, 7, 8, 8 and 12. So, you see that all but one of our grandchildren are older than the baby. I am here whenever you want to talk.

Desiree - posted on 04/26/2009

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How do you feel about being pregnant now? It sounds like your husband is having a hard time with this. Hopefully once the shock of the whole things wares off, you two can sit down and come up with a plan to welcome this blessing into the world.

Susan - posted on 04/26/2009

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I am 42 years old and just found out I am pregnant with my third child. My other two are 10 and 7 years old. This is a Big Surprise! I got rid of all the baby stuff years ago. I feel like I am starting over again. My husband is not happy about this.

Robynn - posted on 04/25/2009

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Yes. I realize that some things are just stages that kids go through and this to shall pass. I use psychology like.."well I have not made a big deal out of you pushing your sister in the past because I know it was your age... but, you are old enough now that we can expect you to be growing out of it." Things like that. I have had a lot of luck with that type of thing.

Desiree - posted on 04/25/2009

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I feel the same way, I don't stress out over the things I stressed over when I had my first 2 children in my 20s. Even though I have 5 more children in my 40s all adopted, It has its challenges, but I handle it so much different now. I guess nothing takes off guard, you know the saying "been there, done that"

Robynn - posted on 04/25/2009

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Yes, I do. I have more patience and more actual knowledge. I am in college taking social work classes which include things like psychology, child development and that type of thing. I believe i have a better understanding than I did before. My expectations are much different.

Robynn - posted on 04/25/2009

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I am Robynn. My surprise was born when I was 44. She is younger than all of my grandchildren but one. My husband is 68. Our combined age when she was born was 110. We adore her. We have seven altogether. 2, 9, 14, 17, 24, 26, and 27.

Desiree - posted on 04/25/2009

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You know what they say, 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40. These wonderful children really do keep us young.

Jill - posted on 04/24/2009

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Hi my name is Jill and im 54, i have a 23 and 24 year old sons, then another son i have had since he was 16months old, he has aspergers, and i have 6 and 8 yr old girls, the 8 yr old has some difficulties undiagnosed as yet but is more like a 4 year old. Makes for an interesting life, but keeps you young

Ann-Marie - posted on 04/24/2009

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OMG where was this site 2 years ago??? There appears to many of us. I too, am raising my grand-daughter & have physically had her since 3 weeks old but basically was responsible for her since birth. I am currently 43 years old & my precious girl, Isabella is 19months old. I love her with all my heart. Isabella is my first grand child & also my only one. xoxo

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