should grandchildren call you grandma or by your name?

Cathy - posted on 01/12/2010 ( 1193 moms have responded )

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My grandchildren by my oldest son his wife's parents insits that the grandchildren call me by my name instead of grandma..This bothers my greatly..What should I do? The children are small and don't know any better..

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Mary - posted on 08/05/2011

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I believe that grandchildren SHOULD call the grandparents by grandparents it is vital to keepthis respect going through our grandchildren, as part of respect

Mary - posted on 08/05/2011

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I believe that grandchildren SHOULD call the grandparents by grandparents it is vital to keepthis respect going through our grandchildren, as part of respect

Mary Rose - posted on 08/04/2011

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speak up now! voice your opionion to your son first, and maybe he will agree, then you and your son can talk to your daughter-in-law together.
My mom wanted to be called by her name, by the time my oldest daughter turned three and my son was born, I spoke up and told her that she was grandma and that is what they are going to know her by.
she felt being a grandma made her old, I was much younger when I had my first grandchild and feel honored!

Allissa - posted on 08/03/2011

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My daughter & my nephew have always called my mom, Grammy or Grammy Kim, they have called my mom's mom Nan or Nanna, and they call my dad's mom, Monna (her real name is Donna). If u want them 2 call u a certain thing, point 2 urself saying the name that u wanna be called, or just simply tell them what u want them 2 call u. After a while, it will sink in

Allissa - posted on 08/03/2011

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My daughter & my nephew have always called my mom, Grammy or Grammy Kim, they have called my mom's mom Nan or Nanna, and they call my dad's mom, Monna (her real name is Donna). If u want them 2 call u a certain thing, point 2 urself saying the name that u wanna be called, or just simply tell them what u want them 2 call u. After a while, it will sink in

Allissa - posted on 08/03/2011

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My daughter & my nephew have always called my mom, Grammy or Grammy Kim, they have called my mom's mom Nan or Nanna, and they call my dad's mom, Monna (her real name is Donna). If u want them 2 call u a certain thing, point 2 urself saying the name that u wanna be called, or just simply tell them what u want them 2 call u. After a while, it will sink in

Donna - posted on 07/31/2011

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Hi, Grandma Roberts, or Donna here. I have to say I can't find my reply. But I'm responding because I don't know that I had my youngest grandson's speech problems at the time. He has a big problem calling me or my husband Grand anything.

So in his case its whatever he can say. He has what they believe is apraxia, which is a severe speech disability. We are hoping one day that he will be able to call us Grandma and Grandpa. But alas, its not what he says in this case that matters. Its that he lets us know he loves us.

Donna

Mary - posted on 07/31/2011

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My oldest grandson 2 1/2 and my granddaughter almost 2 both calls me gg and Im the only gg in the family that makes me feel special and when they say gg I know that they're talking about me. too many grandmas in the bunch can get a little confusing to a little one and I like being the only gg.

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2011

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I think I would call myself Grandma when I was talking to them....eg...Grandma is going to make you a sandwich.....

That way they know that is what and who you are and you are reinforcing the title without being rude or ignorant to the kids....after all they are the innocent ones in all the confusion!

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2011

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I think I would call myself Grandma when I was talking to them....eg...Grandma is going to make you a sandwich.....

That way they know that is what and who you are and you are reinforcing the title without being rude or ignorant to the kids....after all they are the innocent ones in all the confusion!

Loral - posted on 07/30/2011

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I think you should stand your ground and insist that they call you Grandma. With all due respect to you, the childrens' parents are not respectful at all. I would say as much to them. When the time comes for their children to make them grandparents, I bet you dollars to doughnuts that they will feel the same as you when they call them by their names and not grandma and grandpa. There's too much emphasis on the children growing up way too fast. And I think that's one example of making them grow up too fast. You're doing the right thing by insisting they call you Grandma. I have your back on this one.

Faye - posted on 07/29/2011

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When I was growing up you showed respect to your elders, whether they be grandparents, aunts, uncles or Mr. or Mrs. and I think children should be taught that today! That's what is wrong with this world today, there is no respect for elders or each other. Children should call their grandparents grandma or grandpa or whatever they want to be called. Something is seriously wrong with your son's in laws. They need help! Yes the children are small but the grownups have the upper hand here. God Bless and good luck.

[deleted account]

I believe you should stand firm. If that grandparent wishes to be called by their name that is their choice. If you however choose to be called by Grandma your choice should be honored. Your own children should respect your wishes. You will be treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. This can be a very kind conversation with respect for all parties concerned. If the other Grandparents want to be called by their names fine. That is their business. Their should stay out of your business. It sounds like a control issue.

Carole - posted on 07/29/2011

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my oldest grandson calls me memaw, and the others call me grandma or grandma carole

Jennifer - posted on 07/28/2011

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Is it to avoid confusion? Three of my kids have 3 grammas and 2 papas, and two have 5 grammas, 2 papas and a granddad and they all have 3 great grammas! They all say Gramma from -insert town-, even though we have tried to encourage Gramma -insert first or last name- (2 grammas still have the same last name!) We would have preffered different gramma names(nanny, nunu) but the grammas sent up a collective NO. If it is to avoid confusion try a different name, or adding gramma to your name.

Kira - posted on 07/19/2011

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They should call you whatever you feel comfortable with, and it's really inappropriate for the other grandparents to insist they call you ANYTHING.

Kate - posted on 07/19/2011

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I don't think there's much you can do if it's what the grandparent chooses. My husband's mother makes our kids call her by her name and as much as it peeves me there's nothing I can do about it. The idea of being called Grandma or anything else with a grandmotherly connotation behind it absolutely horrifies her. However, my husband's dad is Granddad and my parents are Grandma and Granddad.

I left it up to my parents as to what they wanted the children to call them though admittedly with my own mum when she suggested her name I told her not to be so silly and to embrace her new role ;) Can't really do that with my husband's family though no matter how much I want to!

[deleted account]

My grankids call me gramma Bridget and mu husband is grampa Stephen.My niece have always called me Auntie since they were little and I love it.My daughter-in-laws is called gramma Cathy & and her husband is grampa Kieth.My dad was called Pop.No disrepect to any of us as we all have blended families it is easier for the kids to call us by our name.Otherwise when there is a get together you have 4 gramma's saying what when the kids say Gramma.lol.When we are alone they call me gramma.

Linda - posted on 07/18/2011

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Are the grandchildren being instructed to call the wife's parents Grandma (insert name here) and Grandpa (insert name here)? I do believe I would be bothered by the other grandparents setting the rules. My oldest granddaughter calls me grandma and her siblings' grandma 'Marlene,' which bothers her, so she started calling her Grandma Marlene to appease her. She calls my husband Papa and her siblings' grandpa, Grandpa Al. The siblings call me grandma and my hubby Papa because that is what the oldest calls us.

Linda - posted on 07/18/2011

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Are the grandchildren being instructed to call the wife's parents Grandma (insert name here) and Grandpa (insert name here)? I do believe I would be bothered by the other grandparents setting the rules. My oldest granddaughter calls me grandma and her siblings' grandma 'Marlene,' which bothers her, so she started calling her Grandma Marlene to appease her. She calls my husband Papa and her siblings' grandpa, Grandpa Al. The siblings call me grandma and my hubby Papa because that is what the oldest calls us.

Karen - posted on 07/13/2011

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I feel that you should talk to you son and discuss it !!! I have four grandkids and I'm Nana KarenI love it !!!

Kizmect - posted on 07/13/2011

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I have feelings for you, but you need to talk with your son and daughter in law. You need to explain what you feel and that it is disrespectful for a child to call you by your first name. If that's their preference, then so be it, but their wishes aren't yours! Be respectful, but don't allow someone else to tell you what you have earned the privilege of being called! Grandma, granny, nana, etc are all names that are earned and deserved! Good luck, but hold your ground!

Kathy - posted on 07/13/2011

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My daughter & her husband were the ones that decided that I be called grandma as I'm the one that watches them & helps them. The other 2 sets are Grandma ??? and their first names. I started watching my grandson at 3 weeks as my daughter was in law school & my granddaughter at 4 weeks as the legislature where she works was in session. I now watch my granddaughter 2 days a week. Too hard to do it every day..... Not as young as I was!!! LOL But they should show you some type of respect such as Grandma Cathy.

Michelle - posted on 07/13/2011

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All my grandkids call me GRANDMA, or some form of that ( Gaga, nana,), And when the family is all together even my adult children call me grandma , I love the name, its a step you go through in life, you go from daughter to wife, to mother , to grandma, and eventually great grandma, I'm proud to be a grandma, so why would I hide that title, maybe the inlaws don't want people to know they are old enough for grandkids....what ever name you choose don't let this disagreement come between you and the bond you can have with your grandchild...

Jaime - posted on 07/13/2011

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It isn't the other grandparents decision what the kids will call you. Most of the time when they are 3 they have their own name for you. My son calls his great-grandmother (gammy), my mother (grandma), and my husbands mother (mom-mom).

I think it is very un-personal and detached to call your grandparents by their name, that is just strange to me.

Jaime - posted on 07/13/2011

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It isn't the other grandparents decision what the kids will call you. Most of the time when they are 3 they have their own name for you. My son calls his great-grandmother (gammy), my mother (grandma), and my husbands mother (mom-mom).

I think it is very un-personal and detached to call your grandparents by their name, that is just strange to me.

Kathy - posted on 07/12/2011

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First, it's funny that we both have the same name!!! As a Grandma I expect my grand daughters to call me Grandma or something derived from Grandma. My husband is a step Grandpa, so he is Grandpa LeRoy. Maybe your grandchildren can do both and call you Grandma Cathy.

Christine - posted on 07/12/2011

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If they are your sons children then you should be called grandma or granny or whatever. If they are the wifes children from another relationship then it should be up to the children what they wish to call you and what you are comfortable with. My step daughter has 3 children who call me Granny Chris. I am not the childrens grandmother even though I have been there from day one of the pregnancy with the oldest. Her husband has 2 boys from a previous marriage. They also call me Granny Chris but they are old enough to call me Chris if they want to.

Margaret - posted on 07/12/2011

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You are their Grandma, not a sister or outside family friend, I would try to get this through to your son and his wife, as they are teaching the children disrespect, I am a grandma and would just correct the children till they are old enough to understand.

Felice - posted on 07/11/2011

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my kids call my mother-in-law grandma julie, and my mom grandma rowan. but i asked my mother in law what she preferred and she said she didn't have an opinion either way so since i call her julie my kids call her grandma julie and when they are around her grandma.

[deleted account]

Pick your battles. Is this something that you really want to get up in arms about? Is it life changing? Will anyone be hurt based on this decision? Perhaps you should just let it go.

Debra - posted on 07/11/2011

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I dont think children should be calling adults by their name... they should have a choice if its Nana, Grammy, Nonna, etc. but by your first name, I dont agree with that and your son/daughter should know that.

Jessica - posted on 07/11/2011

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my kids call their grandparents grandma/grandpa followed by their first name Lori or Bob reason being it eliminates confusion when we say we are going to go see Grandma Lori today or Grandma Maggie. I would never allow to call their grandparents by their first name.

M. - posted on 07/11/2011

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To my grands I'm Grandma...or Grams. Their other grandmothers are Grandma Mary or Grandma Sue...not me...I don't want to be referred to as Grandma Michele....I'm just Gram! I agree with some of the others...talk to your son and DIL, let them know how you feel.

Ruby - posted on 07/11/2011

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They should absolutely call you grandma, or at least a pet name that shows some respect of who you are in their lives. If they call you by your name, they may grow to treat you as their peer and not give you the necessary respect.

Kristi - posted on 07/10/2011

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While children will usually end up making up a name for you, there is no reason why you cannot suggest something that you find enjoyable. If they are stuck on being Grandma and Grandpa, perhaps you could be Nana or Grams. My kids call their great grandparents Grandpa Al and Grandma Verna. It sounds like a mouthful, but it works really well. My mom was a little like your DIL's parents too. I'm not sure why, but she was very protective of the Grandma name. Lol. Help them choose something you like and nevermind their nonsense. Let your son and his wife know what you've come up with and start signing cards and notes that way so it gets established. Have fun with it!

Stephanie - posted on 07/10/2011

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I have to say that I find the idea of addressing grandparents by first names odd. My MIL is known as "Mommy Linda"... Now, I must admit my DH is her youngest child by quite a bit (DH is 27 and his oldest brother is early 40's I believe, so we have the youngest grandchildren in the family). I don't know exactly how she came up with that name since that is what all her grandchildren call here regardless of age. I must admit that when over there with my kids it gets me so confused when my oldest gets lazy and refers to my MIL as "Mommy" instead of "Mommy Linda". I always answer him when he is speaking to her... I still find it weird to refer to her by that name when talking to my kids, it makes me think of how you would differentiate between having two mothers... IDK

Chasity - posted on 07/10/2011

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Here in Louisiana we call our grandma Maw-Maw and grandpa Paw-Paw. My mom told my kids to call her Aunt Marcel LMAO cause im 25 and my mom is 41 but they call her maw maw anyways. you are a grandparent so they should call you like that. Whats wrong with people these days.

Mary - posted on 07/09/2011

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MY OPINION IS THAT THEY SHOULD CALL THEIR GRANMA, GRANDMOTHER'OR MAMAW NOT BY THEIR NAME THIS SEEMS DIRESPECTFUL TO ME

Terri - posted on 07/09/2011

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When my oldest granddaughter was born, I didn't feel old enough to be called "Grandma" and my husband wasn't crazy about "Grandpa" either. So we let the other grandparents have those names and we go by "Big Daddy" and "Mama T". I've never had any of my grandkids call me by my first name.

Faye - posted on 07/07/2011

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My kids were lucky enough for a long time as they had all four grandparents and 3 great grandmothers. Each set of grandparents were called by their last name's first letter (Grandma/Grandpa ?) and each great grandmother was called by their last name. It was so much easier to determine who we were talking about to them.

My brother and SIL took a different approach and their kids called their grandparents by their first name (sort of). They were known as Grandma Betty, Grandma Pat, Grandpa Cliff and Grandpa Andy.

I think as long as there is respect in the name it does not matter what that name is.

Nicole - posted on 07/07/2011

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Just tell them your grandma, and tell your son & daughter in law to make sure they know it too!

Ellen - posted on 07/06/2011

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You have the right to be grandma and grandpa. Tell ur grandkids that is what u r to them and no one can change what to call u except grandma and grandpa. If a problem have them call u nana an papa maybe the other grand parents want that name for them selfs. be the grown up in this try that.

Ellen - posted on 07/06/2011

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You have the right to be grandma and grandpa. Tell ur grandkids that is what u r to them and no one can change what to call u except grandma and grandpa. If a problem have them call u nana an papa maybe the other grand parents want that name for them selfs. be the grown up in this try that.

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