should grandchildren call you grandma or by your name?

Cathy - posted on 01/12/2010 ( 1193 moms have responded )

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My grandchildren by my oldest son his wife's parents insits that the grandchildren call me by my name instead of grandma..This bothers my greatly..What should I do? The children are small and don't know any better..

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Frances - posted on 04/01/2010

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When I was young apparently I called my Nan, Nan and my Granpa "Namper"! This stuck with my kids and there kids in turn in relation to my grandparents! My Mum is "Nanny Daphne" and my Dad wasknows us as Grandad! I am Nanny Fran to one of my grand daughters and her sister who is a step- grandchild and the same to my eldest daughters kids and step-kids! The rest call me Nan/Nanny! My youngest grand daughter knows the 3 generations of grandmothers as Nanny, That Nanny and The other Nanny! On the other hand my second daughters ma-in-law and her elders insist on being called grandma!

Stand your ground girl and cherish the moments!

Nanny Cath sounds great!

Pam - posted on 04/01/2010

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Hi Cathy, have you asked what the reasoning behind this decision is? I really cant think of any reason that this could possibly make to the childrens life, tell them you want to be known as their Grandma, I know i take great pride when I have my grandaughter with me in saying this is my Grandaughter, you are a major person in her life, you are not just another name you are an integrill part of who she is, dont accept less than that, if they insist tell them that you wouldnt mind being called Nanny Cathy, hold on to that title, some people dont want to appear older i couldnt care less, i take great pride in being a Grandma, i absolutely love it, goodluck Cathy xx

Vikki - posted on 04/01/2010

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Why does his wife's parent get to dictate what you are to be called if you are their grandparent? I can understand them calling you grandmom Kathy to distinguish which grandmother is being talked about, but to just call you by your name is downright rude and disrespectful! What does your son say to all this?

Jean - posted on 04/01/2010

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Hi, It doesnt matter what the dgt-in-law wants! !!! You tell your grandchildren what u want to be called, weither it's Grandma, nana, or whatever, it is not her choice. The grandchildren will learn that u are Grandma too, and your dgt-in-law is being selfish if she goes along with all of this, and so is your son. Good Luck and stand your ground

jean biberstein

Lori - posted on 04/01/2010

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Are the other grandparents raising the kids? Are they providing the support? It's not their decision on what the kids should call you. Tell them to get a grip!

Tracey - posted on 04/01/2010

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I am uncertain as to why there is an issue with the other grandparents in the first place. Our these children your step- grandchildren? Either why to me it doesn't matter. I had 3 boys when I married my husband, who had 1 son. My boys have always called his parents Grandma Sally and Grandpa Neil nothing else was even considered, and in the reverse way with his son to my parents. If one set of grandparents had a problem with that, in my view that is their problem and not my children, and I would have told them just that..respectively. In other words, if they have a jealousy issue, get counseling and don't spread it to my children. Families are bonded by blood or marriage. Children are going to learn, in no time at all, about the division of our world. Ask your son and daughter-in-law, "Why allow it to start now", especially when the are so young. I say Fight for your right Grandma...but nicely. My in-laws are more of a blessing to my children's lives than my ex husband's parents ever thought about being.

Cynthia - posted on 04/01/2010

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The "other" grandparents have them call you something? I don't think it is there choice. Why don't you first speak to your son and then why don't you call yourself grandma, or mommom or nana or something special. For example..." yes little Tommy, Nana thinks that will be a fun thing to do too." or " Grandmom loves to be called grandmom, not Cathy. Grandmom is my special name for just you and I love you." After a while they will call you that because you are special. You can also write a nice note to your daughter-in-laws parents and let them know with gentleness that you would like to be refered to as such and such.

Blessings

Vivian - posted on 04/01/2010

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You can use the name you want. The grandchildren will catch on. Children calling you by your first name is not respectful. Makes them your equal.

Charlene - posted on 04/01/2010

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Why should they insist what your grandkids call you. They should only be worrying about what they want the kids to call them. It's your choice what they shold call you. Does your daughter-in-law call them mom and dad or by their name?

JAYNE - posted on 04/01/2010

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not grandma it sounds as though your 80+ I prefer nannie my mother is 70 and she likes to be called nannie.

Nevia - posted on 03/31/2010

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This is where the parents of your grand children comes incomes in , they should teach their children to honor their grandmother, and if you want to be called grandma the other grand parents should not object. Saying grandma shows a sign of respect. I am late in responding but I hope it helps

Nevia - posted on 03/31/2010

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This is where the mom and dad of your grand children comes in . They should teach their children to honor their grandmother and if you want them to call you grandma I do not believe the other grandparents should not object. Saying grandma shows a sign of respect

Gina - posted on 03/31/2010

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Are grandchildren have quiet a few grand parents, great grand parents & step grand parents. To keep everything strait they call their grand parents Grandma Gina, Grandma Wilda and so on. I don't mind and you know who your grand child are talking to.

Sue - posted on 03/31/2010

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You are their grandmother also--flat out, whatever "grandmother" name you prefer is what they should call you. Mine call me "Mama", someone else I know is called "MinnieNana"--it is done out of jealousy and nothing else. If a distinction needs to be made for less confusion, my oldest called me "Mama Sue" until he was old enough to speak better to make the distinction.

Michelle - posted on 03/31/2010

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I think that children should call you Grandma or Nana because that would be the same as your son or daughter calling me Michelle instead of Mom.

Denise - posted on 03/31/2010

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You decide. When my oldest grandson started talking, he chose to call me big grandma and his other grandma little grandma. I loved it because it was what he decided. So that is what all the grandkids call me now or just grandma. Its the love and the warmth that is most important.

Denise - posted on 03/31/2010

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You decide. When my oldest grandson started talking, he chose to call me big grandma and his other grandma little grandma. I loved it because it was what he decided. So that is what all the grandkids call me now or just grandma. Its the love and the warmth that is most important.

Leslie - posted on 03/31/2010

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What! you are grandma. It is disrespectful for a child to call their grandmother by her name at any age. hope you get this resolved. Obviously, the wife's parents weren't brought up proper or maybe they are just jealous of you.

Cynthia - posted on 03/31/2010

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Tell your son that you want his kids to call you grandma. If that's what you want to be called. When they get older they will make up their minds to call you grandma or Ma.

Cynthia - posted on 03/31/2010

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Tell your son that you want his kids to call you grandma. If that's what you want to be called. When they get older they will make up their minds to call you grandma or Ma.

Patty - posted on 03/31/2010

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the other grandparents have no right to say what your grandchildren call you I would tell them that if they want the kids to call them by their name they can but you want your grand kids to call you grandma aand ask your son to back you up on it

Catherine - posted on 03/31/2010

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Forget them!! You tell your grandchildren to call you whatever you want them to call you! They have no write to tell them them children to call you "ANYTHING" The nerve of them!!!!

"You ARE A GRANDMOTHER" You are entitled to be called one! :) Stand your guard Cathy!! I DID ;)

Sherri - posted on 03/31/2010

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My mother is a grandma, my own grandchildren they call me, OMA, which I adore the name. I am 47 and didn't want to be called gmal, or grandma, or gramms, or any other name. I have 5 grandchildren and I wanted a unique name for myself.. I scouted online and came up with Oma. It's German..



Since you are the "other grandparent" to these grand babies, I would call a family meeting. What makes the other grandparents think they can tell the grand babies and you what you can do inside your own home.. Find a name, announce it to the family and start using this name around your grand children and other family members.

Gwen - posted on 03/31/2010

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Dear Kathy,
What form of control do your sons wifes parents have over you??? You need to let them know if they want their grandchildren to call them by their first names then that is their perogative but it is totally unacceptable to you and you insist your grandchildren call you grandma!!!!
Gwen

[deleted account]

His parents can request to the grand children call them. As for you....it's up to YOU. Not them. They do not dictate what you want to be called.

Kaye - posted on 03/31/2010

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This is your choice, and your Son's, wifes parents must respect this. Youhave your grandchildren address you with whatever you feel comfortable with. Maybe your Son's, wifes parents have some insecurities about becoming ' Grandparents' and maybe think that they will feel younger if called by their names, but of course, if they can convince you to allow the same, it may save explanations to the grandchildren later, and possible friendly jibes now. You tell them that you are proud to be a grandparent and want the world to know x

Patricia - posted on 03/30/2010

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I agree with the a couple of the other readers. You are the grandmother and they should call you grandma. The other couple should respect that and actually stay out of your affairs. Are they jealous of you or what? How does your son feel? Still you are the grandma so I would have them call you that.

Kathy - posted on 03/30/2010

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I live in the central part of Texas and everyone here addresses adults as Miss Name or Mister Name and it DOES instill respect as the children grow up knowing this is acceptable and no first names are used regardless when they are around elders. Maybe it is just a south thing you might say however we have lived many places in the USA being retired military and they use this same name method many places thru out the USA. I would just speak to their partents and say this is how it will be in our home and no questions asked or answered my way in my home PERIOD!!!!!

Asiah - posted on 03/30/2010

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Does'nt worked for aseans. By addressing our name they will totally lost respect towards us especially when they became teenagers.

Kathy - posted on 03/30/2010

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If the parents insist they call you by your first name then they need to put Grandma or Gram in front of it just as they would if they called you Becky or whatever the name might be they would say Miss Becky. Explain to your grown children this is only being respectful and this is how it will be at your house or in your presence regardless as it is a respect issue and not a name issue

Patty - posted on 03/30/2010

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Cathy , what does your son and his wife feel ...forget what her parents feel they should have no say in what your grandchildren call you..Let your son and daughter in law know how you feel that you want to be called grandma or nana or whatever name you choose..the other grandparents can choose to be called by their names if they want to but a grandchild should know how special a Grandma is and you should insist they honor your wishes to be GRANDMA ,when I was little we called our grand parent grandma Scott and grandma Aland we used their last names to not confuse which grandma we were talking about...maybe Grandma Cathy would work for everyone...talk to them stand your ground..you are their grandma not their Cathy

Cindi - posted on 03/30/2010

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The in-laws need to mind their own business, If they want the grandkids to call them by their 1st names fine but they can call you grandma. Don't listen to them they are your grandkids too & you are gramma!!

Susan - posted on 03/29/2010

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i would have them call you grandma. My kid would call my mom cookie ma cause she always had cookies for them , and they would call one of there great grandmas GG for great grandma.

Teresa - posted on 03/27/2010

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hello Cathy. if this bother's you so much then let the children call you granny. it's not the other grandparent's place to make that choice for you, it's your's. mine call me granny teresa or granny or mom. it's whatever feel's right for them at the time. i love being granny or teresa or mom. i love them anyway. i have another one on the way. due in september. whatever it be granny or granny teresa it'll be ok by me. best of luck. teresa

Denise - posted on 03/27/2010

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tell them to fly a kite and teach or tell the children to call you GRANDMA ! after all those years you deserve the title and cherish it everytime you hear that awesome word.

Jenni - posted on 03/27/2010

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first of all..why are the wife's parents having any input at all about what the grandchild calls you...what do they want the grandchild to call them? do they want to be called gramma and grandpa? thus giving them more respect than you? you are a grandmother and deserve the honor/title of the name...as do they....it should be all equal...if they choose to have their grandchild call them by their first names, then let them do so...but kids need to be taught the respect of addressing their elders...i can't stand it when i hear a child call their mom/dad by the first names...and when parents allow this...it puts the kids,in their minds,of being on the same level as their parents,i feel...and thus,removes the lack of respect for their parents...most kids try to do this at some time around 3,4,or 5 years old as a test to their parents...but i feel it's up to the parents to correct this, even though it can sound cute for awhile. anyway, if you want to be called grandma,nana,or whatever...let your son and daughter in law know this,insist on it,and if the other grandparents try to still call you by your first name to your grandchild,instead of saying what you want...correct them,embarrass them by correcting them in front of others if you have to until they stop and give you the respect you deserve...sounds like they're trying to belittle you a bit...don't let them do it...stand your ground...you're just as important as they are...how about one of you be called gramma...and one of you be called nana? or as someone else said...gramma ann and gramma jane...whatever the names are...just a thought.

Denise - posted on 03/27/2010

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I really don't think you have to say anything..have your son take a look at all these replies..lol.. 'nuff said!! I think your son needs to stand up for his mother and very sweetly tell his wife what you would like to be called or even fudge a little and say thats what HE would like them to call you. I grew up calling my Grandmothers.. Gramma..and thats what my children called thier Grandmothers..and thats what my eight Grandchildren call me.. apparently a tradition in my family. G-R-A-N-D-M-A is to general and formal for me..a bit impersonal..so Gramma suits me just fine.

Brenda - posted on 03/27/2010

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What do the wife's parents have to do with what the grandchildren call you? I would tell them that if they wanted the grandchildren to call them by their names that was fine but I want them to call me grandma, granny, nana, meme or whatever you want them to call you. You should not let them dictate your life.

Brenda - posted on 03/27/2010

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my 2 year old granddaughter calls me "Gammy" and now my 1 year old granddaughter is calling me that also. they are sisters. It is so cute when i hear them saying it. I love it

Rita - posted on 03/27/2010

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Stand your ground. Whatever you feel comfortable with is important here. No one has the right to dictate to you what your grandchildren should call you. Its their issue, not yours. You have every right to be called grandma if thats what you want, and you need to explain that to your son and his wife.

Cyndi-Ann - posted on 03/26/2010

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I would suggest fist talking to your son and his wife. Find out what their reasonings are, if it is because of her parents find out their motivations. Then you can tell them how you feel, and your motivations. Bottom line though, this talk about "putting her in her place" I would be very careful about that, because as the parent of those kids you could set yourself up for little to no visits from them. They are the kids parents and like it or not, agree with it or not, unless they are actually harming your grandchildren ... what they say goes.

Beth - posted on 03/26/2010

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thats how it was with my 2 older kids they chose to call my mom grandma brown and other grandparents grandma (last name).But my granddaughter is calling me mimi.I chose gammy but she just caught on to the mi sound and started calling me mimi.I like it.I dont see at all that it's disrespectful to not call me grandmother or grandma.

Sharon - posted on 03/26/2010

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Have you told your daughter-in-law you prefer the children call you grandma? Personally I was raised to show respect and we did not call adults by their names but by their surname ... Mrs. Brown or Aunt Helen, Grandma etc

Kathy - posted on 03/26/2010

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I think your son has a LONG road ahead if his in-laws feel it necessary to insert themselves into something like that.

Delia - posted on 03/26/2010

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If you are not comfortable to be called by your name, then I guess it would be nice to be called as Grandma. It would be good to inculcate in their minds respect for the elders while they are still young.

Trinita - posted on 03/26/2010

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it is about respect and it should be your choice on what you would like to be called. the loss of respect has a lot to do with what's wrong in the world today.

Michelle - posted on 03/26/2010

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i think its sad, that you cannot pick what you want to be called. Sure the whole Auntie, Uncle thing has gotten old fashioned, but when it comes to being called what you want to be called, its your choice. I dont know anyone that has not been able to pick themselves, after all its a name you have to like it =). If your uncomfortable tell them. Im a grandmother as well, I was asked what I wanted to be called. Im proud to be a grandmother =)

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