Should I try to have another baby at age 43?

Ditas Irene - posted on 03/29/2013

Hi Nancy!

I'm 44, will be 45 in a few months, and we're trying to get pregnant (just waiting a bit more for confirmation, actually... ;) ). We have twins, 12 now, and I've lost 1 son during childbirth in 2002, and I had a miscarriage February last year - doctors think it may have been a blighted pregnancy. I understand your fears, but why let fear decide for you? Unhealthy babies happen at any age, regardless of how well the parents take care of each other, and there are more moms who got pregnant after 40 who have healthy, beautiful babies. Focus on the joy and hope instead, so that your baby will receive positive instead of negative. God bless you!

Yolanda - posted on 03/29/2013

Wow I have no idea. I didn't have lots of tenderness but mine would hurt like crazy sometimes. I blamed it partly on all the changes they had to deal with and some on cold weather. I guarantee that made it worse.
I sure don't want to be a negative voice but at a month the test should pick it up.Maybe try another brand if nothing changes,I don't know. I think I used the ept brand. But just because it worked for me doesn't mean it always does :-)

Tracey - posted on 03/29/2013

hey there yolanda

glad your are great im just so tired i have tested 2 times too both negative i guess ill have to wait a couple of more days also do you think its normal for boob tenderness to decrease i had it so bad for 10 days and today its barley there if i am preggo i will be 4 wks and 3 days.

Yolanda - posted on 03/29/2013

Hey, I'm great! Also I wish you the very best. Be sure and take care of yourself because we are everything to our babies.
I felt kinda weird like that when I got pregnant :-) Like my period was coming every day for a week. Well... did a test (twice ) and Ooolala!
But I've only had one so my experience is minimal, hope to have another one in a year or so :-)

Tracey - posted on 03/29/2013

hey there yolanda

thankyou my period hasnt arrived today i think i was out a day or too it was either 27-or 29 i have done a hpt and it was negative :(((( i have mild cramping but had that last week on and off i feel sick and so tired my boobs were very sore and tender last wk i woke up today and there not so tender and still no period my belly has also swollen much more than usual i was sick and dizzi last wk and stayed in bed all day the next day i was still feeling sick like i do todayi dont want to get excited cause i dont want disapointment just try and carry on and take each day as it comes how are you doing yolanda :)

Yolanda - posted on 03/25/2013

I wish you the best in every way. I've never miscarried so have nothing to say on how that must feel. I'm sure it would be tough. I do wish the very best for you:-) I'm so proud of you that you would love it even if it were Downs or had challenges. I think that God has a special reason for those kids and perhaps we become better people when they are in our lives. You go!

Tracey - posted on 03/24/2013

hi there yolanda
i agree so many women on here are so brave ive miscarred 3 babies and in the ttc stage again im so scared of it all happening again i will be 42 this sep and a little scared of the health of baby downs and all but i dont care i will love the baby no matter what iam due for my period on the 27 feb for the past 3 days ive had pelvic pain like period is gunna come early i keep running to the bathroom but nothing i also have really tender boobs lol as i do so before my period but a little more we will have to wait and see .

Yolanda - posted on 03/21/2013

I was 37 when I had my son. I was concerned about all the health problems like Downs S.
Well my son is a super healthy active 10 month old and the light of my life (next to his daddy of course:-) . If God allows we plan to have at least two more. Oh yeah and I had an amazing pregnancy:-) :-) Take great prenatal vitamins and go for it.

Cindy - posted on 03/19/2013

My comment didnt go through yesterday but I believe God puts those desires in r heart. I had my son at 40 I was prego at the same time as my daughter it was so much fun we danced together prego at her babyshower LOL. God makes children has nothing to do with age dont allow that to stop u. My son is healthy I didnt take any chromosome abnormalities test knew I would love and care for my baby either way. Pray try to get emotionally and physically fit I did get a few insults at me but I was strong enough to handle it. I had a miscarriage b4 my son so I made sure I was strong b4 I started trying again. I went to church started going to a class and walking so refreshing drank lots of water tried to eat healthy . Leave it 2 God I hav had 3 miscarriage myself and hav 5 children its all up to God . God bless

DawnDee - posted on 03/19/2013

Hi Moms,

If you are very serious about having a baby in your 40's - please get your vitamin D checked. The normal range is 34-100. Vitamin D is essential for bones, mind and other health issues that may arise after 40. As I stated below eat to live don't live to eat. It takes discipline, motivation and sites like this that can hold you accountable to help you reach your goal. Start now taking care of your body and your body will take care of the baby inside regardless of the odds doctors or nae-sayers.

I'm in my 40's with 6 kids and if I decide to have another - it's my choice as long as I can afford to take care of them and myself --- IT'S ALL GOOD!!!!!!

Wendy - posted on 03/19/2013

Thank you so much for your post. I've been looking high and low for some encouragement from women like me. I am hopeful that I will conceive soon. I am 43. I am convinced that I have at least one more good egg. Did you have assistance from fertility treatments or drugs?

Tracey - posted on 03/19/2013

Hi all i think its wonderful that older moms want to try for another babie as long as your healthy whats the problem ? im 41 and still trying for a baby although i have had 3 miscarrages so it makes me want to ttc even more and this is what this site is all about i know some people may disagree and think that been over 40 is considerd old to be trying for a baby i agree that age is a number .

nancy only you and your husband know what to do and im defenatley going to do it one more time and hope that our 3rd time is lucky if not then my partner will go for the snip (OUCH ).

JOYCE well done you and you are very blessed most of my school friends are on there 1st child and im like awwww is so lovely i think we have more patient now were older all i say is GOODLUCK TO ALL THOSE TRYING :))))))))

Judith - posted on 03/18/2013

IT has to be discussed between both of you ,,, all the pros n cons ,, then talk about it again i wish you both all the luck n happiness which ever way you both go,,,

Joyce - posted on 03/18/2013

I had my 1st and only baby at the age of 41. I will say, I did develop gestational diabetes,but I would do it all over again. I feel so blessed to have this little boy in our lives,who is now 5 years old. I have to agree with DawnDee (comment below). Do what you know to be correct with your mind and body, and whatever you do, pray to God about it.

DawnDee - posted on 03/17/2013

Hi Nancy, Age is just a number. Always remember that no matter what doctors, friends or family says. There are some OLD minded 40+ year olds in this world. Your body will follow your mind - so put your mind where you want your age to be and your body will follow. Eat fruits and veggies, no red meats, plenty of water. Exercise, meditate and do yoga. Have a Gluten Free diet. These things can slow down the aging process. Always watch funny shows, laugh and walk alot, see nature.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING -- YOU ARE A WOMAN - A MAN WITH A WOMB!!!!!!

Kate - posted on 03/12/2013

I would be telling my 40 some yr. old husband that he better be getting dead set on grand kids instead of one more of his own. It doesnt sound healthy....I'm 45 & already have 2 grand kids! I'm not sure why women would want to have another child in their 40's. My mom had me at 39 & i always had the oldest parent in school.

Nancy - posted on 02/06/2013

My husband is 38, thank you all the responces.

Debbie - posted on 02/05/2013

My triplets were born when I was 43 and my last baby was born when I was 45. There are always risks when getting pregnant when older. But the odds are always in favor of having a healthy baby. For example when I was pregnant I was told due to my age I had a 1 in 10 chance of having a baby with chromosome abnormalities. Sounds scary, but if you look at it another way, you actually have a 9 to 1 chance your baby will be healthy. It doesn't look bad at all when you think of it this way. It's a big decision, I know. Follow your heart and only agree to do this if YOU really want to. You both have to equally be on board with this decision.

Shirley - posted on 02/05/2013

Nancy,
If you thinking about having another child, 1st, I'd go check with your Dr, to make sure you can still safely have a child.
Also, think long term, you are now 43, by the time the child graduates HS you will be 63,
How old is your Husband?
Good luck to the both of you. :)

Tracey - posted on 02/04/2013

nancy

id say go for it im 42 this yr and in the process of ttc after my 3rd miscarrage last yr im scared to get pregnant but i will never know unless i do it lol im hoping 4th time is lucky for me :) i do have 3 girls from a previous partner ive been with new partner for 8 yrs and lost 3 babies with him go with your heart good luck :)))))

Tracey - posted on 02/04/2013

sonia

how are you hope your holding up im thinking of you x

Maureen - posted on 02/04/2013

Perhaps insist on genetic testing and the "what if's"? I tried for a year and a half at 43, and ending up having 2 miscarriages as both fetuses were genetically abnormal. From what I learned from my OB you risk of MC is about 50%. Perhaps go to a fertility specialist to see if it's possible?

Sharice - posted on 02/03/2013

I would say follow your heart! Every child is a gift and they all come with challenges! I had a son at 39 and he has Down Syndrome, he is the JOY of my life :)!

Jennifer - posted on 02/03/2013

I chose to have my 2nd ( and last) child at 42. While we did do an amniocentesis, so we wouldn't be surprised, we were told that the relative risk of age related issues (downs, etc) is only like 1/2% higher than someone in their early/mid 30's. She is healthy, happy and the joy of pur lives.

Amy - posted on 02/01/2013

I wouldn't worry about having an unhealthy baby just because you are 43. My husband and I have a 3 month old who is completely healthy and normal --- I am 45 and my husband is 47. Our baby was a total surprise to us but my pregnancy, labor and delivery were without any complications or problems. We have four other children: 17, 14 and 12 yr old twins. The older kids adore their new brother.

Sonia - posted on 01/30/2013

HI Nancy

I would give it go but just to let you know I am 44 and am having my third miscarriage today, Not very happy three in two years . If I want tests now they will do them but I think i may have had enough. Lots of other women have been successful. The ratios are low. I have found out today you can have a blood test to find out if you are still healthy and fertile. I have been told this today at dr wish I knew that before. I suggest do lots or research and go to obst something I didn;t do and should have. Wish you all the best and enjoy your gorgeous children now. I have one son but would love another one. Bye for now wish you all the best it is definitely possible !