single mom dating single dad

Paula - posted on 05/13/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I've been seeing this single dad and he would like our daughters to meet. The problem is that she found a photo of the two of us and peeped a few of my texts, I'm deleting everything now. She was very upset to say the least. She hopes that her dad and I will reconcile but that's not going to happen and I gently explained this. I have an opportunity bring our families together but first impressions are ruined and now that she knows what he looks like. I wanted to set up where we would run into each other with our kids at the park but, I'm afraid that won't happen. Any advice? She's 12 going on 17.

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Mary - posted on 05/14/2010

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The first meeting is always difficult so set it up somewhere a little more private like a dinner at home, It will take many conversations for her to understand why you have moved on and their is not chance of reconciliation with her father. The more you try to leave her out of the loop the more defiant she will get because she will believe her feelings and opinions do not matter. Open communication goes along way in easy into this situation.

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DARLENE - posted on 11/19/2012

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If you want this relationship to work try as long as you can from letting your daughter and boyfriend meet. I have done this a few times and no one will love your child as much as you do. If he has a child also then it becomes even harder. Children of divorce are going through hard times also and sharing you is something that they don't want to do. You have the best of both worlds right now so [unless he has asked you to marry him] don't try to move to fast. If he is the right man for you, it will also be the right relationship in 6 months. How many times have I seen good people split up because of meeting children too soon.

Divina - posted on 10/19/2012

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things will be okay, you will never know if you will not try.

and hey its good that you are dating a single dad too, so he can relate

I would like to date someone who is a single dad as well.

the problem is I am way far from the market lols..

Aliska - posted on 05/16/2010

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Be honest with your daugther even if you tell her things she wont like, like you will never get back with her real dad. At least then she knows she can trust you. Don't set up a 'fake' meeting like you've just run into each other by acident or whatever, if it goes wrong you look stupid and it tells your daughter that she can't trust you to be honest. Talk to the guy and let him know your daughter's feelings. Set up a short meeting, maybe coffee and cake somewhere, or going to the movies where you are all together but don't have to interact much. Plan regular, short meetings for the four of you so both girls get used to the situation and also when you two go out together as a couple make sure she knows what you are doing so she adjusts (however slowly) to the fact that their is someone new in her life.

Tiffany - posted on 05/13/2010

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It sounds like you tried to conceal your relationship from your daughter and it backfired because she found out another way...now it seems that you're suggesting something else disingenuous and less than entirely honest to move to the next step. Sounds like a bad plan.

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