single mom of a 17 year old

Michelle - posted on 05/10/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

7

10

0

I am having a challenging time with my 17 year old son, I have always had custody of him, but last year he decided to move in with his Dad which olnly lasted a few months. It was a real eye opener for all of us. He had hero worshipped his Dad for a very long time, My son realized although his Dad called him two times a week and they spent the summer togther, his father did not know how to deal with our son. our son was enrolled in a school while in his Dads care only to skip the majority of the time he was there and his Dad didn't even ralize it.Our son was looking to spend one on one time with his Dad and that didn't happen. So he came home to live with me. I had some rules for our son and we have had many talks.Our son is more assertive then ever since he has been home and he needs to learn how to balance that out. He yells at me often and he can be disrespectful at times, he also isn't doing well in school but he does not want me to intervene, that is fine, however he wants me to pay for his cell phone and have a weekly allowance, I have taken the cell phone away because he was using it too much in class. I told him he could have it back when hes grades improve.he has completed some of his late assignments, I am at my wits end, i am working two jobs and I am tired physically and emotionally. I just wanted to express myself in the hopes of feeling better. i love my son very much and I will do almost anything for him. thank you everyone..

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sinclairbrooks - posted on 05/11/2011

63

11

7

Well, it seems to me that he is getting a bit big for his britches. At his age, I worked, went to school & carried a B average (my parents looked at my homework every evening before I went to bed, they knew it was done). If I didn't, I would have had no privileges. A weekly allowance, seriously??? Wow, Momma is paying for his cell phone, giving him cash, letting him skip his homework. Sounds like the discipline has stopped. He needs to talk to a school councilor and find out that if he does poorly in school, he will never make more than enough to "survive". There aren't many opportunities for those that don't AT LEAST do well in high school. Time to make him buck up and take responsibility for his life. He will be out of school in a month. Then what????

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

5 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Michelle, you mentioned your son has trouble focusing, learning and completing assignments-have you talked to his doctor about this? School is so competitive these days. It's hard enough without issues to deal with. Could be stress, anxiety, ADD? I know 17 is a tough age, they have raging hormones, think they know everything with little real world experience. What does his guidance counselor suggest? Hope you find some answers. Good luck with everything.

Michelle - posted on 05/11/2011

7

10

0

Well first of all it is not easy to discipline a 17 year old who is about to turn 18, 2nd, he does not have a job because i wanted him to focus only on school. He is a great kid and he is involved with Sea cadets, which keeps him very busy. he will be going to cadet camp to work in the boat shed for the summer there he will earn money to pay for his cell phone and have money to pay for college. He has struggled with learning, focusing and completing assignments all through school, lt has not been easy as a single mom, I have up to last year punished him by taking his gamne systems and computer away due to him not doing his school work. I would also keep close contact with his teachers too keep up on the homework he has not done. my son and i have had several discussions and he really wanted me to back off so I did just that I have taken the cell phone and his ps3 away. As for giving him money it is for lunch on Saturdays when he is at cadets all day, he has a lot of really good friends he hangs out with at cadets and they play in the cadet band in the morning and work on training in the after noon, I work every saturday so I am happy knowing my son is safe, not hanging out on the streets or the computer. I love him very much and I am backing off to a certain point because I want him to take ownership of his school worjk and as hard as it has been for me to intervene and call his teachers my son will deal with the the consequences that shall come his way, if he does poorly in school then he is resposible and he will have to fix it. trust me this is very hard for me, I do not want to see him do poorly, but I will be there for him no matter what.

Michelle - posted on 05/10/2011

7

10

0

Thank you Nichole, he is in Sea Cadets and his rank is pretyy high so I have tried to gear him to join the military. but he doesn't want to, he loves his movie making course and he is doing very well in that course, but I am not too sure that is a good paying job for the future where we live. He isn't sure what he wishes to do yet. he graduates in June from high school, he will be returning for a semeter of high school in the fall, which will give him more time to decide.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/10/2011

12,224

26

244

Good luck hun :) teenage years are the hardest it seems and then the few years thereafter after being pushed into the real world...... because they are still trying to find themselves. Once you find yourself it's not so hard.. So he's going to go through alot for a while.... the next few years will be rough, expecially with the economy. What does he want to do? You should really be working with him to get his GED if nothing else (it was so easy I tested out of it without studying! and no jobs care about the difference, so at least keep this option in mind? the book was relatively cheap to study from too) so I would be more worried about what he is going to do in this crappy economy! :( I feel so bad for any teens entering it right now

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms